Being Luca's

by Raven McAllan

  He sighed. "Honestly? No, not really. The tabloids did a real number on us all, didn't they? How about you and mama?"

  Angela patted his cheek. "I've been better, but I'm glad it's about to come out. Mama and Papa say it's fine, but we all worry. It's only natural. And for the bastards to pick this weekend, when the race is so near Leigh, is typical."

  "Four hundred miles isn't exactly close," Luca said.

  "It's closer than four thousand," Angela replied. "Anyway, Papa says we're to go over when you get back. I think they were hoping Leigh would be with you."

  "So was I, but she isn't. So let’s go and have the confab, and then I can concentrate on qualifying. Did Daniel get the hydraulics sorted out?"

  He shepherded Angela out of his trailer and into the next one.

  As he closed the door behind them, his mother looked out of the tiny kitchen.

  "At last. Where's Leigh?"

  "Scotland as far as I know. She wasn't prepared to listen. You can't talk to deaf ears. Hey, something smells good."

  "Spaghetti marinara." It seemed his mama was prepared to accept the change of subject for now. "Go wash your hands and sit down. Erich won't be long."

  Luca nodded. At least he'd only need to explain what had happened once. If he could. After all, what was there to say? He had no intention of repeating her harsh words about Angie, and what else really happened? Not much. In a thoughtful mood he went to wash his hands, and then go into the lounge.

  Erich was already there, with a glass of wine, and reading a newspaper.

  "Your mama says no joy?"

  Luca shook his head. "Nope. They did such a number on her before, and she disappeared before I had a chance to explain as much as I could. She got the bloody decree nisi today, I guess, and as far as she's concerned I'm the lowest of the low, and totally untrustworthy."

  "Well you never ever tried to defend yourself, did you?" Angela had walked into the compact sitting area. You could have done. No one would have blamed you."

  "I would have blamed me."

  Luca knew his tone was one of ‘that's it; end of.’ It was a pity Angela refused to acknowledge it.

  "Then more fool you. I told you to tell the truth, and you said it wasn't worth it. That no one would believe you.”

  "Well, think about it. Would you have if you weren't you? Sexy blonde found in F1 champion's bed while wife is away. Read her story on pages eight, nine, ten, and eleven …with pictures."

  "But it wasn't."

  "I know that, you know that, and now the papers know that. But then they didn't. And I wasn't going to throw mama and your papa to the wolves just because my wife chose not to listen to me. Now let's change the subject, please."

  Chapter Three

  Leigh heard the front door close with a thud. It sounded like the death knell, and she closed her eyes. What had she done? Why on earth was she so sodding determined not to listen?

  Because he ripped my heart out. But when did I become so unforgiving? Since when have I thought there were no shades of grey? I liked Angie and I trusted Luca. Would they really have betrayed me like that bloody tabloid said? But if they didn't why didn't they explain? Because I wouldn't let them?

  Leigh looked at herself, and decided she didn't much like what she'd become. Slowly she began to think back over what she'd been told about that weekend a few months earlier.

  The phone call saying Luca's mum was in hospital in Glasgow had come just as qualifying got under way. Luca been beside himself with worry until Leigh had said, ‘don't worry I'll go.’

  Erich had arranged transport and Leigh had reluctantly left her husband on the eve of the race that could bring him his first World Championship.

  When she got to Glasgow all had seemed well. Elena had been on her way to the airport to fly out and join them for the race when she'd slipped and fallen. Now kept in hospital overnight for observation, a phone call from Luca to say he had qualified in pole position had put them all in a happy frame of mind.

  The following day, half way through watching the race on TV. Elena Corrieri had given a strange gasp and half fallen out of her bed.

  After that all thoughts of Formula One, championships and who was winning what went out of Leigh's mind. She spent the best part of the day and night holding her mother-in-law's hand over a bed in intensive care.

  When she was finally taken off the danger list and Leigh slipped out to stretch her legs and to call Luca, the first thing she'd seen were the headlines.

  The next thing was the TV and the final straw was when she tried to go home for clean clothes and seen the reporters camped outside.

  Leigh had driven on without stopping. Cleared out her bank account, cut her hair with a pair of nail scissors, stripped out the blonde color she'd been for years and returned to her natural red. After that, she booked into a bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere, using her maiden name.

  Then and only then she'd read the papers, scoured the Internet, and the following day found a solicitor.

  With hindsight she accepted she was in shock and in fact in no fit state to make decisions like that. However by then it was too late. The balls were in motion, and she refused to talk to Luca. He was too late. He hadn't defended his actions, and in Leigh's mind, 'no comment' was as bad as holding a banner up saying "naughty me, I've been caught."

  Now, though, she wondered. Why was she such a bitch over it all?

  Angela was her friend. Luca was her husband. They were happy in each other's company, but never ever had she seen a spark of sexual awareness between the two of them.

  The papers had said Angela had spent a blissful night in Luca's bed and been seen kissing him as she left. Then there had been a lot of blurry photos and an alleged, 'close friend' of Angela's saying Angela had told her Luca was a tiger in bed. But where had it said Angela said that?

  But then, Leigh mused, as she washed the glasses up and put them away, if it was untrue why hadn't Luca defended himself? Who was he protecting and why?

  She got ready for bed in a thoughtful mood. Why on earth had it taken so long and a visit from Luca to make her think?

  Was it because in six weeks’ time her divorce would be absolute? Did she really want to throw what they had away without listening? Did she really think he could change his behavior so drastically?

  No, she didn't.

  So what could she do about it? If she wanted to show Luca she was prepared to listen—no more than that, to say sorry, and she didn't believe he'd done anything wrong, whatever he said to the contrary—it had to be before the paper came out. Which didn't give her much time.

  Silverstone was a good six or seven hours’ drive from where she lived in normal conditions. Over race weekend she could add half as much again.

  Added to which she had nowhere to stay, and no tickets or passes.

  Damn and blast. Who could she beg to help her? Leigh picked up her phone and scrolled through the names. Pray the number hasn't changed.

  With a nod of satisfaction, Leigh pressed the keys and listened to the ringing tone. When it was answered the person at the other end sounded wary. Very wary. As well they might be. Leigh didn't waste time on platitudes.

  "Look don't hang up, please," she said rapidly. "I know you don't have any reason to help me, but I need to get to the racetrack before whatever is due to come out in the paper comes out. Before I know what it says."

  "You mean you're opening up your tight little mind to hear what people want to say?" Now the tone was incredulous.

  "I know. Why should you believe me when I didn't believe you? But you know I sat and thought tonight. That it was all a load of shite. I don't know why or how, but I do honestly believe nothing happened."

  "Even without verification or explanation?"

  Leigh didn't hesitate. "Yes."

  "Okay, what do you want me to do?" Angela asked.

  ****

  Luca paced the garage. The car was looking good, the weather was perfect, the fans were in fin
e fettle and his heart wasn't in it. Outside thousands of excited fans milled around. Qualifying day at the British Grand Prix. Just another day in the office. Except—his heart wasn't in it. All he could think about was Leigh's face as he left, and his feeling that, that was it. Finito.

  "Luca, concentrate." Erich poked him in the stomach. "You need to know this and remember it. Feddent is confident, but I've heard they are having gearbox problems. March is still favorite, because it's his home turf. You, my boy, are the wild card this time. We can do it if you want to."

  Luca pulled himself together. He wasn't the first person to be screwed over and wouldn't be the last. Pull on your big boy boxers and grow a pair. Or he mused, maybe he should tell himself to pull on his flame retardant long johns and protect his pair? Either way he needed to grow up and get out of his snit.

  "Oh I want to." Even if just to show Leigh he was man enough to move on.

  "Then get your ass in the car and get ready. I may be brilliant, but even I can't formulate the setting for a Formula One car to drive itself around Silverstone. The Nürnberg Ring maybe, but Silverstone not a chance."

  It was so Erich that Luca grinned. "Then I'll watch the wonder car at the German grand prix from the stands and cheer it on."

  "Bollocks, just get in the car and get your head in gear. Then you can get the car in gear and get pole."

  Luca did as he was bidden. He spoke through the headset to Erich. "Any idea where Mama and Angie are?"

  "Your mama is where she always is. Biting her nails in the trailer. Angie is collecting a friend from the airport, whose plane was late. She hopes to be back before round three of qualifying. Concentrate and get into round three so we can all celebrate. Two minutes until the start of the session. We go in seven."

  Luca nodded, not really paying attention any more. His mind was fully focused on the job in hand. As ever, once he took the car out of the garage and onto the track, Luca forgot everything else except driving the car as best he could. Or so he thought.

  Sixteen cars went through to the second qualifying session. He was fifteenth, which, in his mind was nowhere good enough. Erich agreed with him.

  "You'll lose it if you're not careful. That second lap was pitiful. A child could have driven it better. Just be thankful young Lonnergan screwed up even worse than you, and Johnson’s team are having trouble getting their cars up to scratch. Or you'd be at the back of the grid, and doing your knitting right now. Snap out of whatever is biting you."

  That was easier said than done. "Crochet, not knitting."

  Erich laughed. "Whatever, just concentrate, for fuck’s sake. You can fuss over single or double sling stiches or whatever they're called later. For now fuss over gear changes and utilizing the track."

  "For that, I'm crocheting you a scarf. And a gag." Luca switched off his radio, and spent several minutes meditating before he mentally shook himself. He could do it.

  He did it.

  "Yes, go on baby." He crowed into his mic. "We did it. We, guys all of us."

  Chapter Four

  "They did it." Angela steered the off road vehicle across the bumpy field and toward a gate on the far side.

  Leigh held on to the handgrip and gritted her teeth as she lurched from side to side as the car jumped and jerked its way over mud and grass.

  "Pole?"

  "Yeah, good, eh? How the hell he pulled it off with all this shit going on I have no idea." Angela turned the car out of the field and into a lane whose ruts weren't a lot different from those in the field. "But he did, so roll on tomorrow, and maybe a podium place."

  The words, 'if you don’t upset him' were unspoken but Leigh thought they were in a speech bubble above Angela's head.

  It had been a fraught few hours and Leigh felt sick. She'd been too churned up to eat breakfast. Her flight down from Scotland—in a plane the size of a tin can—had been bumpy, and due to head winds a lot longer than it should have been. The helicopter journey from the airport to the tiny airstrip reinforced her idea that she didn't like flying unless she was in a nice big plane that didn't look as if it flew on a wing and a prayer. Angela had greeted her unsmiling and had hardly spoken except to say 'fasten your seatbelt', and ‘I hope you know what you're doing’. Leigh couldn't answer that.

  Coupled to the fact she was scared stiff Luca would tell her to get lost, or not believe she trusted him without knowing the whys and wherefores, it was no wonder she was nauseated.

  The next jolt of the car made her head bump on the roof.

  "Angela, stop the car," Leigh said urgently.

  "Why, are you chickening out?" Angela did as she was asked, and swiveled in her seat to stare at Leigh.

  Leigh tugged on the door lock and scrambled out. "No, throwing up." She proceeded to be as good as her words.

  "Here." Angela handed Leigh a damp cloth and a bottle of water. "When did you last eat?"

  Leigh wiped her face and swirled some water around in her mouth, before she turned away and spat it into the long grass beside s scraggly hedge. Then she had a drink before she replied. She felt like a wrung out dish cloth and bet she didn't look a lot better. "Yesterday morning unless you count a dish of olives. I know, stupid is me. But after Luca left I polished of a bottle of Barolo and wallowed for a bit. Then I looked at myself and I didn't like the self-righteous prig I'd become. It put me right off food. When had I become so narrow minded I wouldn't even listen?"

  Angela hugged her, and after a brief second, Leigh hugged her back. "You mustn't blame yourself, really. After all it did look bad Leigh, but—"

  "No, don't say a word." Leigh stopped Angela from going on. "I want to go to Luca, tell him what I think, without anyone having told me anything, if you get my drift."

  Angela nodded and gave her a thumbs-up. "That's more like the Leigh I knew and loved. Um, in a non fluid exchanging way."

  Leigh smiled. "Yeah."

  "Let's go then. There's just one thing." Angela bit her lip. "About Luca. He needs to get in the right frame of mind for tomorrow and, well..." She stopped speaking and shrugged.

  "I might upset the applecart? I was just going to say maybe I'd best wait 'til after the race, so I don't rearrange his mindset or anything. But I'll need to steer clear of newspapers and TV and stuff. Because if whatever it is, is going to be in the news, I don't want to catch sight of it. I want to give Luca my faith and trust. If he doesn't want it, then that's my problem, not his. But I do want to watch the race."

  "Sorted, if you don't mind a bit of cloak and dagger. For a start off, you don't look like Leigh Corrieri any more. I reckon you've lost a stone and with your hair cut like that and that gorgeous red color, I think we'll get away with it."

  Leigh ran her hand over her spiky red crop. She'd had it styled after her attack with the nails scissors, loved it and kept it along with the change back to her natural color from her dyed blonde she'd worn for years. "It's the real me."

  "Honestly? Well I love it," Angela said. As for somewhere to stash you, I bought a cottage not far from here, and so we'll bung you in there."

  "I sound like contraband," Leigh said as she got back into the car. "But what about the race? I haven't got a ticket, credentials or anything. Still, I guess you have a TV?"

  "No TV, so that’s one less place for you to have to avoid. And I have ways and means. You'll be there, don't worry. Now let's get you home and feed you. Have this for now." Angela handed over a banana.

  Leigh sat back in the seat, and fastened her seatbelt before she ate the fruit. It sat heavy in her stomach, but she knew that wasn't down to her four bites of banana.

  "Thanks. Oh fuck, Angie, what if he won't listen? What if he thinks someone got to me, what if…"

  "Little green men take over his body and fly him to the moon? Sheesh Leigh, What if is not an acceptable state of mind, okay? Unless it's what if we drink fizz not red, and eat seafood not pizza. Right?"

  "Yes, Miss. Right."

  Angela sniggered. "Good. Oh fuck." Her phone was r
inging. "Luca, so don't say a word, okay?"

  Leigh nodded. She'd have put her fingers in her ears if she weren't holding on so tightly.

  "Worry over, it's okay. I lose reception here, so I'll call him back. Right, there's the cottage. I'll have to leave you to find your own way about and get back to the track. Take any room except the one at the top of the stairs. That's mine. I'll get back when I can so make yourself at home." Angela slowed the car and stopped outside a neat honey-colored stone cottage. "Here's the key, and ignore the land line if it rings. I'll use the mobile."

  She hardly waited for Leigh to grab her overnight bag and get out before she drove off. Leigh watched until the car was out of sight, and walked towards the green painted door, hefting the key in her hand thoughtfully.

  Angela was trusting her. A hell of a lot more than she'd trusted Angela.

  Food for thought.

  Her tummy rumbled. It wasn't just food for thought that was on the agenda.

  ****

  "And did your friend eventually arrive?" Luca sat in a chair outside his trailer and glared up at Angela. "I needed you here." He sounded like a right childish prick, and if he had the energy he'd be ashamed of himself.

  "Yes, my friend arrived although the flight was late. And, no, I've spoken to Papa, you didn't need me here. You maybe wanted me here, which is something entirely different. Papa said after you got your head out of your ass you went like a demon. Congratulations by the way. Just stay there tomorrow and win."

  Luca scowled. Why did she always make him seem like an idiot?

  Because you are one.

  "Ang, did I do it all wrong?" Luca wished he could take the whiny pleading note out of his voice. "Should I have made Leigh listen to me, then and now?"

  Angela hugged him. "I don't know how you could have. It looked damning, was made to sound worse, and neither of us felt we could say anything. And then when we could have, we couldn't until the whole lies and half-truths were sorted out. So, no, I don’t see how you could have done different."