The Witch's Handbook To Catching Werewolves

by Amy Boyles

  “Okay, Buddha,” I said. “But what the heck does that mean?”

  Dot poked a finger in the air and said, “I’ll see if I can come up with a spell that keeps Gabby in her true form when we’re out in public.”

  I gave a little bow. “Thank you.” I took a sip of mocha and turned to Kate. “Want to help me do some investigating today?”

  My best friend clapped her hands and jumped up and down with what I can only describe as Christmas morning glee. “Oh, can I? I would love, love, love to help out!”

  I tossed a lock of platinum and honey hair from my eyes and said, “Let me shower and get dressed.”

  Within thirty minutes I had my locks glossed to a high sheen, a smidge of makeup on and my best autumn outfit.

  I drove us downtown. “I don’t know how long the stores will stay open since tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, but I need your help.”

  “With what?” she said.

  “We’re going into the shop that witch owns.”

  Kate giggled. “You mean the one with the cauldron out front that you spelled?”

  I sighed, feeling the guilt of my prank. “Yes. That one. I need to talk to Chloe, but if her sister Grace is there, I want you to keep her away from us.”

  Kate nodded. “Okay. Any reason why?”

  I shrugged. “I want to discuss something sensitive with her, and I don’t want her sister hearing and getting upset.”

  Kate fingered a few loose curls that had escaped the ponytail and fringed her cheeks. “Okay. Sounds wonderful.”

  I watched her closely for a minute. “You’re awfully happy this morning.”

  She flashed a smile of all teeth.

  “Yes,” I said slowly. “You’re too happy. What’s going on?”

  Kate shook her head in a way that was more than suspicious. “Nothing.”

  It hit me. “You met someone, didn’t you?”

  Kate busted out with, “Yes! Yes! I met someone.” She clapped her hands and bounced up and down.

  “Why didn’t you tell me before now?” I said.

  She grabbed her ponytail. “Well, you know, your kid looked like a werewolf and all. It didn’t seem like the right time.”

  I settled back in my seat. “Tell me all about him. Everything. Every tiny detail.”

  “I only met him recently, so I don’t know everything about him. In fact, I met him at that antique shop. I’d gone back in after I purchased the pillbox to see if anything else struck my fancy, and I ran into him. Literally. Anyway, he’s tall and funny and so, so handsome. He’s asked me everything about myself and knows that I love teaching. I didn’t tell him about the whole witch business. You know, didn’t want to scare him off or anything, but he seems like the real deal.”

  I squeezed her arm. “He sounds great. What’s his name?”

  Kate paused. “I want to wait to tell you. You know, I want to make sure everything’s legitimate with him. I’ve dated so many duds, I want to know that this guy is okay before I go and jinx anything.”

  I nodded. “I totally understand. You ready to go in and do some sleuthing?”

  Kate fisted the air. “Absolutely.”

  We entered Witch’s Cauldron, and both ladies were inside. Kate corralled Grace to the back, and I found Chloe in an aisle filled with essential oils.

  “Hi, Chloe,” I said.

  Chloe’s green eyes sparkled. “Hi there. I heard you’ve had quite the week.”

  I grimaced. “It sure is a small town, isn’t it?”

  She nodded. She threw her long tresses of hair over her shoulder and said, “What can I do for you?”

  I picked up a bottle of peppermint and pretended to study it. “You can explain why you lied about your encounter with Cal. Molly Malone, the owner of the coffee shop, is a friend of mine. She said you and Cal got into a pretty serious argument.”

  Chloe glanced over the row of vials as if she was checking to see where her sister was. “Look, I can’t talk about this, but Cal was a bad guy. A really bad guy. He’s a jerk. I slapped him in public, I know. But he deserved it, and frankly, eventually someone was going to kill him. But it wasn’t me.”

  I quirked a brow. “You sure about that?”

  Chloe's face started to turn red. “I’m sure.”

  I pulled out the only weapon I had. “I know you’re pregnant. Was it Cal’s? See—what I think is that you came here to get away from him and discovered you were carrying his child. When you confronted him about it, he didn’t want to have anything to do with you, so you killed him.”

  Chloe shook her head. She lowered her face into her hands and took a deep breath. “You’ve got it all wrong.”

  Seriously? How could I have gotten it all wrong? I mean, I knew I was jumping out on a pretty big limb, but I had the strong feeling the branch wasn’t going to break under my feet because I was on to something.

  I put the peppermint oil back on the shelf. “Oh? I’ve got it all wrong? I’m pretty sure I’ve got it pretty right, and if I told that hulk of a werewolf police officer y’all have, Bruce, he’d be bringing you in for questioning.”

  Chloe knuckled away the tears spilling from her eyes. “It’s not me who’s pregnant with Cal’s baby.”

  I scoffed. “Who is it, then?”

  She looked up at me, eyes wet, lips trembling. “It’s Grace. She’s pregnant with his child.”

  FIFTEEN

  So, that was a turn I hadn’t expected. Like, at all. Chloe and I had moved our conversation to the Brewhouse. She was staring into a caramel vanilla latte, and I had ordered a frozen coffee with white chocolate and white chocolate chips on top.

  So sue me. It had been a stressful week.

  Chloe picked at the brown protective sleeve. “Cal seduced my sister while he and I were still together. She was naive, and he led her to think he’d broken things off with me. I don’t blame her. I blamed him. Their one night led to her getting pregnant. That’s what I was in here talking to him about. I told him what had happened, and he just laughed, said he wasn’t the father, that it could have been anyone. That’s when I slapped him.”

  I took a long slurp from my straw. Sugary goodness infused my body. “I don’t blame you. I’m surprised you didn’t knee him in the gonads.”

  Chloe laughed bitterly. “I’m surprised I didn’t, too. He deserved it. But it was so hurtful, what he said. She’s my baby sister, and he took full advantage of her.” Chloe leaned across the table and grasped my arm. “He was a terrible, awful man. One who deserved to die. I hate to say it and it’s a horrible thing to even think about someone, but it’s true. No one who had anything to do with him liked Cal. I’m only surprised that he wasn’t murdered sooner.”

  She sat back. “And to be honest, I can’t believe anyone would finger you. There’re a thousand folks who didn’t like him. You should be the last person convicted.”

  I smiled at her. “Thanks. And thank you for telling me everything.”

  Chloe rubbed her neck. “You needed to know the truth. Please don’t talk about this to Gracie. She’s upset enough about the whole unwed-mother thing.”

  “I understand.” We finished our coffees, and I grabbed one for Kate, whom I’d left in the shop but had texted to let her know what was going on.

  We returned to the store, and I retrieved my friend. “Here’s a fresh mocha mint for you.”

  “Oh, my favorite,” Kate squealed.

  As we were leaving, she leaned over. “What was that all about?”

  I sighed. “It was about a hunch that didn’t pan out. But that’s okay. I know something will.”

  My phone hummed in my purse. I fished it out. It was from Stone.

  Got the info you need about the wolf’s bane.

  Oh, I’d almost forgotten about that. Almost. Of course, my late-night adventure with Dex had sort of taken up a lot of my thought processes throughout the morning. A knot of guilt twisted my gut just thinking about it.

  Great, I texted back. When can you meet?
/>   I’ll be over in fifteen.

  Perfect.

  Kate barely drank her coffee as I drove us back to her place. “You okay?” I said.

  “Yeah. It’s just I get the feeling my new guy doesn’t like fat women.”

  I hooted in laughter about that. “Kate, you’re not fat.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “No, but I will be if I drink this whole thing.”

  “Give it to me then. I’ll finish it.”

  “Or, I’ll take it.” Dot’s voice broke into the cabin. I rolled my eyes.

  Kate threw me a confused glance. “Is that Dot?”

  I smacked my lips in irritation. “Sure is. She apparently watches me in my car sometimes. Like a creepy old cat lady with nothing better to do.”

  “I’m not creepy,” Dot said. “I’m related to you. It’s different.”

  “Sure,” I grumbled. “Anyway, can you leave?”

  “I’m already gone,” Dot snipped.

  Kate sighed. My bestie stared at the paper cup longingly. “I don’t think I can give it up.”

  “Then drink it.”

  She licked her lips. “Okay. I’ll skip lunch to make up for it.”

  I sighed. “You’re not fat. You don’t need to skip lunch, but whatever floats your Ping-Pong ball.”

  She frowned. “Do they even float?”

  I shrugged. “No idea. But it sounded better than boat.”

  I dropped Kate at her house and drove off to mine. I parked in the carport as Stone was pulling onto my street.

  My heart fluttered. I hadn’t seen him since my night with Dex. I had to admit, the strings of attachment I felt to my husband were stronger than I had expected them to be.

  Had I ever really doubted it?

  I guessed I hadn’t. But that didn’t lessen my feelings for Stone. I had deep pangs of longing for him, for an angel I couldn’t be with.

  An angel I couldn’t be with, an undead husband I wouldn’t be with. Dilemmas, dilemmas.

  “Hey,” Stone said huskily as he strode up the steps. I came around the carport and met him on my porch.

  “Hey,” I said.

  He smiled at me, his gaze deep with an emotion I couldn’t place. He grazed a finger down my jawline. “I missed you,” he murmured.

  I popped up on my tiptoes and kissed him. I wanted to know what it felt like having been parted from him for a day, having spent time with Dex and starting to feel the first flutter of emotion toward my husband.

  When Stone’s fingers curled in my hair, I knew the sparks were hot for both of us. His lips branded mine, sending hormones rushing through me. I pulled away before anything got too hot and heavy.

  I mean, we were standing outside.

  Stone threaded his fingers through my mine. “Let’s go talk. I’ll tell you what I discovered.”

  We walked inside. Gabby was barking like a doggie at Vordrid. Vordrid was doing the right thing and barking back.

  Stone walked over and stroked Gabby’s curls. “Hey, little one.”

  “Hi, angel,” she said.

  Stone looked at me. I shrugged. “I guess she’s heard us talking. Either that, or she sees your invisible halo.”

  Stone smirked. “Come on. I’ll tell you what I know.”

  We went into my bedroom, which I kinda thought might lead to bad things, but it was the most private room in the house.

  I plopped down on my bed, and Stone sat on a recliner in the corner. “I talked to my friend at the post office.”

  I toed off my shoes and leaned back on a less than fluffy pillow. “What’d she have to say?”

  The angel rubbed his knuckles under his chin. “She said there’s a certain person with a very exotic garden in town.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Oh, really? Who?”

  “Some guy who thinks he’s a voodoo pirate.”

  I laughed. “You mean Jacques, the voodoo salon owner.”

  Stone crossed an ankle over his knee. “That’s the one. You know him?”

  “Met him the day after we saw that werewolf hanging around the back of his store. Turns out the wolf broke in.”

  Stone’s silver eyes flashed with interest. “Did he take anything?”

  I rolled over and leaned on my elbow. “Not that I know of.”

  Stone glanced away. “Can you please not do that?”

  I frowned. “Do what?”

  “Look enticing.”

  I giggled. “It’s not like I’m trying.”

  Stone entwined his hands and rested them in his lap. “I know. That’s the problem.”

  I decided not to push his emotional buttons and sat back up. “Anyway, I talked to Jacques. He knew Cal. Said he stiffed him on a werewolf cut. And now he has the potential murder weapon.”

  “We should pay him a visit.”

  “We should.”

  Stone rose and crossed to the bed. He leaned one knee on it. The mattress groaned beneath his weight. “But we should do something else first.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “What’s that?”

  He crawled across the bed until he was on top of me, straddling my thighs with his own. He cupped my face in his palm and rubbed the pad of his thumb over my mouth. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, then my left eye and then my right.

  “What are you doing?” I murmured.

  “I’m doing something else first,” he whispered in my ear.

  “What’s the something else? Something that will get you kicked out of heaven for eternity?”

  Oh please, oh please let it be that. Please let it be the thing that gets Stone kicked out of heaven.

  Did I say that out loud? No, I did not, but I definitely thought it because at that moment my body hummed. The angel ignited me, making my skin sing like it hadn’t sung in years.

  Stone kissed my lips. When he drew back, he said, “Nothing that will get me kicked out of heaven. Just a little kissing.”

  “Sure you won’t lose your heavenly soul and all that?”

  Stone smiled. “You make me want to lose my heavenly soul.”

  I gulped. “I don’t want that to happen to you.”

  “Neither do I,” he said huskily. “That’s why we’re only kissing.”

  “Darn it,” I said. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  So we kissed long enough to get me riled up. Talk about torture. Every inch of my body was tight as a violin string. I felt the same from him, but there was so much keeping us apart—like God and stuff.

  “Okay,” I said when I had experienced enough sexual frustration to last me a week. “What’s the plan?”

  Stone shook out his arms. “The plan is to go visit the voodoo prince.”

  I laughed. “Just wait until you see him. You’ll be surprised at how accurate that assessment is.”

  We left in Stone’s Tahoe and arrived just down from the salon’s storefront. “I thought you said we were going to his house.”

  Stone raked his fingers through his long hair. “We are at his house. He lives on the top floor.”

  “Interesting. Do you think he’s here?”

  Stone shrugged. “Yep. Postal Lady called him for me.”

  I squinted at him. “You’ve sure got a good friend in that postal lady. She must like looking at you.”

  Stone chuckled. “She’s a nice, older lady.” He placed a hand on my back. “Come on. Let’s see what’s going on.”

  Stone hit the button outside the door.

  A voice crackled to life a few seconds later. “Yes?”

  “I’m Patsy’s friend.”

  “Come on up.” The door buzzed, and Stone pulled it open, letting me go first. We took the elevator to the top floor, where it opened to a lavish apartment decked out in Persian rugs, porcelain vases, African masks—it was all very lush and rich looking.

  Not at all what I expected the voodoo prince’s abode to look like.

  Speaking of, Jacques popped into view from behind a wall. He wore a headdress of black feathers, the same black eyeliner, a
s well as an ebony shirt and slacks.

  “Come in, come in,” he said. “Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Absinthe?”

  Pardon?

  I stepped onto the lacquered floor. “No, thank you, though all of that is great.”

  “Darling, you don’t know the half of it.” Jacques tossed thick strands of hair over his shoulder. The two men introduced themselves, and Jacques gestured into his apartment. “Come, sit down.”

  I shot Stone a look that said this should be interesting. He simply smiled at me. The angel was nothing if not amazing at retaining an unbreakable poker face.

  We crossed to a couch and sat. Jacques Sparrow—’cause that’s what I was calling him in my mind; all the hair and shells is what did it—sat in a chair and hooked one leg over the other.

  “Now, loves, what can I do for you?”

  “I understand you grow wolf’s bane,” Stone said.

  Jacques shot out of his chair. “Yes. Would you like to see?”

  “Love to,” I chirped.

  Jacques spoke as he led us to his kitchen and a stairway. “I bought this place about a month ago and had my garden from my last home transported here.” He wiggled his fingers at us. “You know, by magical means. I like privacy and I adore city life, so I created this.”

  He opened a door, and we stepped out into a rooftop garden. I inhaled sharply. It was gorgeous. Like, I’m not a horticulturist or a botanist or anything, but the place pretty much looked like a botanical gardens on the guy’s roof. Bright, beautiful patches of flowers sprinkled the space while small flowing fountains pooled into several koi ponds—all enclosed by thick, waxy shrubs. Half of it was canopied with flowing white cloth, and the other half was completely exposed to the sun. It was the greatest escape of all escapes. A garden Jacques could enjoy completely in private.

  I was instantly jealous.

  All the place needed was a waterfall and it would’ve been perfect. But I digress. Jacques led us to a patch of purple-petaled flowers. They were gorgeous to look at.

  “Wolf’s bane,” Jacques announced.

  I reached for one.

  He brushed my hand away. “Oh, don’t touch it. It’s poison through and through. Dangerous to anyone.”