by L. Ann Marie
“We’ll have someone pick you up. Brantley’s right, more people are going to learn about the tunnels and it’s dangerous for the neighborhoods. Twice now they were used with people getting hurt and we were playing catch up,” Jessie tells him.
“I’ll bring my blueprints.” He’s smiling.
I laugh slapping his back. “You need anything you let us know. We appreciate the help and will keep a hand out. You need us and we’re here. Yeah?”
He nods saying he’ll see me tomorrow.
We ride back to Security and drop the bikes. Walking to the locker room I drop my coat with a Prospect. “Get our colors off and trash it.”
He nods. “VP wants you at the range.”
We walk through and see him with a gun on the back counter. I see my gear and I’m pissed. “Fucked with too?”
He looks up. “I wasn’t sure, but there’s scrape marks on the inside of the barrel. I don’t know why I even looked, but your clips had a pattern of empty shells. I thought I’d look at everything. Now that I see it all, I don’t know if I should fire it or not. I was just getting ready to call Prez.”
Jessie picks up the silencer and I take the gun. “Fuckin’ pussy. It will change the direction. Close wouldn’t matter, but further out the aim would be off. I pull it apart and look at everything. “Nope, it’s filed right here.” I turn it so he can see the mechanism.
“Suppressor is fucked too.” Jessie hands it to me. Fuck. I whip it at the wall. “Good thing you carry what matters.”
I give him a look. “Just today I lost two pair of gloves and my small sandbag, now a piece, clips and my backup.”
He laughs. “Your clothes too. Someone is trying to beat you at something. I’d say it’s a wannabe for the leaderboard,” Jessie says and Darren agrees.
“Yeah.” I go to the computer and look at the leaderboards. Me and Jessie trade back and forth, Dakota and Prez do too. We decided it’s the freaky kid shit and don’t even count them. Aaron is right there, but not even a consideration. Jax, Hyde, Brantley. “It’s not anyone close. I’d trust them with my life.” They move closer. “My first thought was that I don’t like being with the trainees anymore. I’m going with that thought and saying it’s someone low—a trainee from the PD.”
Jessie laughs. Darren is looking at me. “They aren’t even close. There’s no chance you’d hit low enough for them to get ahead of you.”
I shrug. “Ask Aaron or Jax. I think it’s someone that just needs to knock me down, not pass me.”
He nods. “Jared’s coming tomorrow to show the Prospects how to install the new locks. You’ll thumb into the lockers.”
I start walking away pissed. “Nothing in it now. I need new gear.”
“Taylor.”
I stop and turn. “Yeah VP.”
“I know the long shot thing has you keeping with what’s comfortable. My brothers are Rich and Jessie. I get the bad vibes of new and unfamiliar. That means that someone else does too. You have your shit at Brantley’s, bring what you need here to be comfortable. Order what you need as spares. Jared’s got it so when the lockers open it sets alerts in Security. They can see who walked in and if it’s not you opening it, we’ll know. Prez will get a vault set here so special gear will stay safe. Use the new at training. It will be comfortable when you need it.”
I throw him chin. “Thanks VP.”
I hear Jessie telling him he doesn’t understand. I think he does. I don’t want anything anyone touched so everything has to be new, but he gave me a way to break in new. I have two spares of everything at Brantley’s. If it was just one, I’d still be pissed. Right now, I’m just pissed at the pussy. My gear is handled.
I check in with Brantley and checkout for the day. At Nick’s, I walk in and straight to the rooms. The nurse watches me, but doesn’t try to stop me. Sheila’s bitching someone out. “Fuckin’ Eliza could have stitched me. I’m late to pick up the kids.”
“I can get them,” I say walking in.
Prez throws me chin. “Lily got them, but she has a meeting, so Christian has them all until we get back.”
I kiss Sheila’s head. “It’s just flesh,” she says sounding exasperated.
I can’t help smiling. “I’ll help Christian. Take what you need here to do it right,” I tell her then look at Nick.
He smiles. “I’m stitching so the scar won’t be so obvious.”
“What the fuck ever. Amanda can cover it, but it’s just a flesh wound.”
I laugh walking out. “I got the kids.”
“Taylor.” I stop and turn. “VP talk to you about your gear?”
I nod. “Yeah Prez. I’ll order and break in the new at training. I don’t want anything from the locker.”
He nods. He knows. “We’ll fix it and get a safe in for the gear. For now, your gear goes in the safe room.” He’s watching for a reaction.
“Roger Prez. I’m doubled up. If I only had one spare, I’d be pissed. Right now, I’m just pissed at the pussy fuckin’ with my gear.”
“Where’s your gear now?”
I smile. “Brantley put a safe in his garage for me. I moved everything over there. Nothing is at the house. I even drop my knife there.”
He throws me chin. “Good. We’ll get it right and find the pussy.”
I throw him chin and get to the Compound to give Christian a hand with the kids. They’re all riding at the end of the road when I pull in. I take Mucimi and give him a ride back to the house while the kids and dogs follow.
“Brandon needs a bigger bike,” Christian says sitting on the porch watching them. I put Mucimi down and he throws me a picture of his walker. I get it from the house and he’s off with the kids in the driveway. We move so we’re closer.
“Jax would make him a new one if he needed it. Jessie and Dakota do the riding with them.” I watch him ride the road and he’s right. He could use a real bike now.
Phoenix gets off his bike and Mucimi tries to get on it. I laugh and Christian helps him on. He walks holding him while Mucimi pushes the throttle button. Fuckin’ kids.
Christian cracks up. “He’s throwing me pictures of him on a bike just like Brantley’s. This kid is unreal.” I pull my phone and video him riding. Christian lets him go and follows while he makes the straight run. When he tries to hold him for the turn Mucimi pushes his hands away making me laugh.
The little shit makes it down and back up the driveway with no help. The boys and Stella clap for him. Stella signs he needs a bike. She’s telling her dad. When I bring the walker over Teller takes it away. I smile and pull my phone again. Stella holds Mucimi’s hand and walks him to the walker on the grass. ‘He can do it, but grass is squishy. He’ll fall back going up.’
“Fuckin’ kids,” Christian says. He signs and says, “Yes going up he’d fall back and down he’d fall forward.”
‘He can do it now. On the ground or floor, but not squishy and if he falls back he hits his head, that’s not good. The ground is rock and that’s harder than skin.’
I crack up. “Let’s get in and we’ll get you some dinner. Mucimi can show us walking in the house. It’s not squishy there,” I sign for her as I’m talking. She gives me a nod and we take them in. They are too fuckin’ funny.
The dogs follow and lay down in the living room while we’re in the kitchen. “We don’t have enough for all of them,” I tell him closing the fridge.
He puts his head down smiling. “They’re giving me their orders.” I walk out, telling him I’m moving all the bikes. When everything is put away and I’m walking back from Prez’s, Alex shows with Prince.
“Sheila got shot. She is fine, but she’s yelling about the kids. I’m good with the kids and I can help.”
He’s cute. “Come on in. They decided today that Mucimi can walk without the walker. They had him on Phoenix’s bike. I got video. We can watch it after dinner.”
He looks at me for a few seconds and I wait. “Mucimi is small to walk. Right?” I nod. “We have to make him a bike. I can�
��t use the lift motor for him. That’s too big.”
“You used the lift motor for their bikes?”
He nods. “Jax said we need to order them from now on though. I put the new motor on the truck and didn’t use it again.” He looks embarrassed.
“I think I would have used it too. I don’t know about what motors to use.”
I open the door and the kids come running to Alex. Aquyà signs he told Uncle Christian to get him chicken. Alex hugs him. “I like chicken from the restaurant. Thank you Aquyà.” I just shake my head.
“I do it all day long. Sheila called. I told them I had this. They’re going to the Club for an hour. Prez had to give status and Lily is with Beth at the support group. Holly and Eliza are training with the military women. Everyone should get here about the same time.” I nod. “If you want to take off we’re good to get them fed.”
“I’m good. Did anyone tell you what to order me?” I ask hoping they did. Beth ate before the support group.
He laughs. “I know what you eat and ordered you a plate.”
“Christian is like Tess and knows what you think already. He always gets it right and is a good Brother. He wouldn’t forget you. Right Christian?”
I hold my laugh and tip my head waiting. Christian smiles. “That’s right Alex. I wouldn’t forget my favorite Brother.”
Alex’s head tilts. “I thought Brantley was your favorite brother?”
I laugh and Christian explains. “I say they’re all my favorites when they’re alone with me. It makes them feel good.”
Alex smiles. “I’m going to do that so everyone feels good.”
Oh shit. I look at Christian. ‘Tell him just with family,’ I yell in my head.
“You can only do that with family Alex. Other people would be hurt if they found out you told someone else that they were your favorite.” Christian is looking nervous.
“I’ll just tell them my favorite brother told me to say it.” He laughs. My mouth snaps closed and I clench my jaw. “I will not tell them. I already knew.” I slap his back and laugh—fuckin’ Alex.
Christian tells him he was nervous and they start talking. I record Mucimi walking in the kitchen with Stella and Phoenix staying close. Brandon and Aquyà are playing on an iPad at the table and Justice and Teller are watching Alex and Christian. I look at Justice and Teller. They’re watching and smile at each other. I move so they can see me. ‘Are you throwing to Alex?’ I sign.
Teller looks down, but Justice smiles nodding his head. ‘Not good to listen in on adults.’
‘Jeremy and Tess and Uncle Christian and Daddy and Uncle Dakota and...’
I put my hand up stopping him. ‘Not good for kids to peek in adults’ heads. Those words are not meant for you.’
Justice nods and signs, ‘Yes, sir.’ He takes Teller’s hand and brings him in the kitchen. Christian is watching me. “How do you explain that when they’re small like Justice and Teller?”
He smiles. “Just like you did Brother. Don’t sugar coat it or lie to them, but make your point gently. Teller already knew. He doesn’t like disappointing you. Justice thought Alex was playing with him.” He shrugs. Alex goes in the kitchen with them.
“Why would he think he’s disappointing me?”
He takes a minute. “It’s not just you. All inner circle. He’s going to be a leader like Little Ben and Dakota. You know, inner circle Brothers. He wants to learn from you and thinks that if you’re disappointed in him, you won’t teach him. He’s sensitive, but smart.”
Fuck, the kid is like three. He nods as if I said it out loud. I smile at him. “Let’s go play.”
We take them out the back and play tag, then ball. A Prospect comes around the house and we bring them in to wash and feed them. Brantley shows and Mucimi wants to show him he walks, so we all watch and clap. Alex tells him about a bike for him and Brantley is laughing. “I’ll take you to the park tomorrow so you can show me how you run to the slide like the big boys.”
Mucimi signs, ‘thank you’ cracking me and Christian up.
“You off?” I ask.
“Yeah. Shit! No, not until later. I have to meet for planning up at MC. It will have to be the afternoon Mucimi.” He signs ‘yes’ and I shake my head.
Teller comes over and holds on to Christian’s leg. Christian looks at me then lifts Teller up. “Did something happen today?”
I look at all the kids watching. Fuck. “Yeah. Nothing bad though.”
He nods and puts Teller down. Brantley gets the kids washed up and into the living room. Christian stays, so I stay. “Something is weighing on your mind. I don’t think you should keep your guns on you, but I don’t think it’s bad. I didn’t see anything and Teller says you could take Mucimi to Mom so you can talk to the man at MC. He threw me Kevin Baxter.”
Fuck. I nod trying to think. I didn’t smell anything today. “This is not the trigger for the worst of your memories Taylor,” Dakota says walking in from the living room.
Okay. I knew I’d get hit, but nothing that happened today should trigger the girl in the truck. “Why would I need to see Kevin?”
“Teller sees like Jeremy. I do not know what Kevin will give you, but I would not discount what Teller sees any more than I would Jeremy,” Dakota says and Christian nods.
“Jesus the kid is like three he doesn’t even talk. Why doesn’t he talk?” Thinking about it they all don’t talk much.
Dakota laughs. “They don’t need to. He is young and learning, but he is very close to Jeremy as far as abilities go.”
We hear Beth and Lily come in and I stand up to go see Teller before Lily takes him home. “Can I talk to Teller for a minute?” Lily smiles. “Yes. He has been wanting to see you.”
I look at her then him. I push everything out of my head and pick him up taking him to Mucimi’s room. “Thank you for the heads-up Teller. This is different than listening in. This comes in and you can’t stop it right?” He nods. “You always tell an adult so you get help with it. Christian is a good man to tell. Jeremy and your dad too. You find someone you know that understands and can help.”
He surprises me and says, “Yes.”
I kiss his head. “Thank you. I’ll see Kevin tomorrow. If you need me, you throw to me and I’ll be there. Yeah?” He hugs me and I take it as a yes.
Alex takes him for Lily and I take Beth into the garage. I drop my guns and knife and walk her home. “How was the support group?” I ask as we walk in the kitchen.
“Sit.” I look at her and sit. She sits in my lap. “What happened?”
I push my hair back. “I don’t know. It was a busy day and we worked late, but nothing was so bad that I’m worried. Teller said something to Christian then, that I can bring Mucimi to Mass and see Kevin tomorrow.”
She’s smiling. “Teller said all that? I’ve heard two words out of him.”
“Freaky kid talk.”
She nods. “You looked too serious. I thought you needed to lighten up.” I kiss her. “Now that you’re not trying to figure it all out—we know that this will happen from time to time. We’ll deal and move on. If it gets bad, Dakota and Ben and even the freaky kids are here to warn and help us. Stop worrying. Can we go for a ride? It’s been a day for me too. I think we need ice cream, from like New York or something.”
I kiss her. She’s so fuckin’ funny. “Ride and ice cream. How about ice cream from Little Compton? Guarantee they have your favorite.”
She looks like she’s thinking about it. “New York is probably too far. Okay, as long as I get ice cream.”
She’s easy. I wait for her to change thinking about what she said. I tell people that it’s not going away, but I guess I hope every time is the last. I need to get to the group like she does and figure a way to deal that’s realistic. Hoping it’s the last will just set me up every time I’m hit with it.
She pulls me down. “Ready?”
I smile. “Yeah. I need a group during the week. What house has the weekday group?”
She pulls my hand. “This one. Ben thought it would be easy for the Brothers to go if it was close.”
I stop and look at her. “What Brothers need the group?”
She laughs. “They all go. It wasn’t until you were bad that they realized they didn’t understand what PTSD was. Everyone knows the words, but not the effects it has on someone’s life. They go to the group to understand and to learn how to support you when you need it.”
“Fuck me. I love the fuckin’ Brotherhood.”
She laughs. “They love you too. So do I, but I’d love you more if we were eating ice cream right now.”
“Let’s ride Precious.”
I take her up the highway to get her ice cream then we ride the back roads home. She loves the winding roads as much as I do. It’s a good ride. My fuckin’ Brothers going to meetings for me keeps a smile on my face. I need to do it right and do the work like Prez said.
We get home late and my Precious Beth is tired. I get her changed into shorts and a t-shirt before she falls asleep standing up. I pull her on me and think about my day. I only have one early class on Fridays and run Ops the rest of the day. Today that was longer than usual, then the crazy bastard in the tunnels, but it was still a good day. Sheila was good and the kids from Ops made it home instead of bought. That’s always a good day. My Precious got her ice cream and made me laugh while we ate it. My Brothers are doing everything they can to support me and Teller talked to me. It was a good one.
* * *
“No! You are not real. You are not here.” I push them away. “Not here. I killed you!”
“You did. You took them all down. They can’t hurt anyone anymore. You did that.”
“I did Beth, but the girl didn’t make it. I couldn’t get her. She’s dead.”
“Yes, she is. The women you saved are doing well. They help others in their war-torn country Brother. Open your eyes Taylor. You saved those women.”
“They lived Dakota. I saw her, she lived.”
“Yes Brother, she did. You saved her and she is helping people. Open your eyes and see how far you have come from there. She is still there helping, but you are home with your Brothers and Beth. Open your eyes Taylor.”
