by L. Ann Marie
“Think you can stand up yet?” He puts his hand out and I pull myself up.
“You found it?”
“Christian is here. He gave it to me.”
“It was on the counter in the bathroom,” Christian says walking in. “The basket of clothes are washing. Since your skin is healing, you won’t get that one again.”
“Thanks. I won’t forget again. I’ll pick up as I leave.” Prez throws me chin and walks out. He knows I won’t forget again.
“Let’s get ice cream, then we’ll get Beth.”
“I’m here.”
He nods. “You are, but you got rattled and you’re a little fuzzy. It’s been a fuckin’ week for me and I want to take in the good with my brother that just jumped to find fuckin’ ChapStick.”
“Yeah. I want ice cream.” I check my pockets and feel my heartbeat in my head.
“I got you Taylor.” He’s holding up the ChapStick.
I take it and stuff it in my pocket. “Thanks.” I blow out my breath.
Chapter Thirty
Two days
Beth
I am off for the next two weeks. Life is good. Walking out of the staff entrance I smile. Taylor is on his bike. I kiss him and he laughs. “ChapStick Precious.”
“Don’t care. I love you and if you take me home to bed I’ll love you more when I wake up.”
He puts a helmet on me laughing. “Rough night?”
“People are getting ruder. We need hospital etiquette put up in every room. First thing it will say is ‘nurses are not your personal slaves.’”
“What the fuck do people want in the middle of the night?”
I laugh. “Everything from menus to more pillows. Take me away honey.”
He pulls out and I hold on. By the time we’re at the gate I’m leaning on his back with my eyes closed. “Almost home Precious.”
He stops and I open my eyes to Nick standing right here smiling. “Hi Nick.”
“Long night Beth?”
“Yes. Rude people make for a long night. I’m going to bed unless you need me to help.” I hope he says no.
“No, I can take care of him. I’ll even clean up. I’m getting good at it.” He follows us in.
“What’s going on?” Taylor asks him, but I keep walking.
I flop on the bed and close my eyes.
* * *
Taylor
“My nurse is back on the reservation. It’s been a tough couple of weeks.”
“Chevy’s wife is your nurse?”
“Yeah. His mother died. It’s been a rough year for them. Her being in hospice caused a problem. It’s not the Indian way. He wants his kids growing up in the culture he grew up in.”
Fuck. “I had no idea until a couple of days ago. I took shifts for him for months. I didn’t know.”
He unrolls the gauze and I watch hoping the skin looks better. “He’s old school like Dakota was raised. She’s a little more lax with the traditional ways. She liked working and living off the reservation.”
That sucks. I hope she’s happy where she is now. This doesn’t sound like Chevy is coming back. My arm looks better, but I look away fast. “It’s getting better right?”
He smiles. “Fuckin’ Jeremy and Dakota are making it better fast. You sound worried. Is it bothering you?”
I look at the window. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, but it’s a reminder.”
“Is it the whole arm that bothers you or just the section of the new skin?”
I look at it then away. “Just this part. I don’t want ink on it, but I don’t like seeing it.”
“Let’s keep it covered for now. Dakota and Jeremy can keep doing what they do. Holly’s scars are barely noticeable. They are amazing with shit like this. I’ll check it again next week. What I don’t want to happen is you seeing it and having a flashback. Keep the cover on it.” He’s rolling clean gauze on it and I’m relieved.
“Yeah.”
He’s watching me. “You still seeing the therapist?” I nod. “Talk about this. Your whole body relaxed when I covered it. Something isn’t working with you seeing it. Talking it out may make this easier.” I nod. “Beth cleans it for you and you don’t look?”
“Yeah.” I never look unless he’s here.
“We’ll figure it out. Don’t stress over it, but don’t hide it either.”
I don’t want her to know it bothers me, but I don’t want to hide shit from her either. She needs to know. I need to stop acting like a pussy and be straight with her. “I don’t want to hide it. I’ll tell her and the therapist.”
He smiles shaking his head. “I wish everyone had Badass to fall back on. This is why you keep moving forward Brother. I’ll check on you next week. Let Dakota know this means something so he can do what he can with it.”
I nod. “I will. Thanks Nick.”
“You ready for tomorrow?” he asks packing the gauze in the container.
I smile. “I am. We’re going over music later. Beth is going to be surprised the Brothers will show for her.”
He laughs. “I got my song ready. I need to get to work. Later Brother.”
I look at the gauze and shake my head. Until he said ‘hide’ I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. She’s seen me at my worst and I’m hiding stupid shit. I check my pockets feeling for the ChapStick and head over to Brantley’s so I can get to work.
* * *
Clearing the PD’s slackers makes classes more interesting. It’s amazing how fast the time goes with people that want to learn and move up. Everyone listens to everything that’s said and asks relevant questions. In the break room, I sit with Darren to eat.
“Classes are good?”
I smile at him, “That’s part of it, but I’m feeling good about telling Beth the stupid shit that goes through my head.”
He looks at me with his fork halfway to his mouth. “What stupid shit?”
“Nick noticed my arm bothers me if it’s not covered. I didn’t realize I was hiding it until he said so. It’s stupid, but I feel good knowing I’m telling her so I’m not hiding shit.” I shrug because it does sound stupid now.
He nods. “Sounds right. It’s when you hide the little shit that it turns to bigger. I did it for years, not getting what was going on. I ended up being a dick over stupid shit. I’m glad you’re smarter than me. Your shit can hurt you or her.”
I smile. “Yeah. I’m glad I was away for most of you being a dick.”
He laughs. “Me too. One less witness and all that.”
* * *
My time at the Activity Center is four to four-thirty. I make it with time to spare so I wait outside until the time I was given. Prez comes out smiling. “You’re up Brother.”
“Thanks.” I go in and Mitch sets me up and gives me pointers.
By four-thirty I’ve got it down and she’s bouncing. “She’s going to love them!”
“Thanks Mitch. I need to go. The text said I can’t stay over.”
She shoos me away smiling. Uncle Danny, Uncle Steve and Pres are waiting. I laugh wondering what they’re going to do.
I stop at Brantley’s to drop my guns and hear Holly and Lily singing. This is going to make my Precious Beth’s day a memory she won’t forget. I get home and check on my girl. She’s awake and smiling. I kiss her and sit her on my lap telling her about my arm. She kisses me and says we’ll work around it until it isn’t an issue for me. I can’t help smiling. She’s easy.
Jeremy comes in smiling. He holds my arm and listens to me and Beth talk, nodding and smiling, but never saying a word.
My mom and dad come in and we end up taking a walk until it’s time to go to the Club. While my mom and Beth are talking in front of us, I tell him about my arm. I’m starting to feel like an idiot about it, but I want him to know where my head is. He gets it right away. “You continuing to talk about it means you want to work through it. Nothing wrong with that Son. I’m proud of you for recognizing it as a potential problem and fixing it before it
happens.”
“Thanks Dad. Life will be tough enough without me doing stupid shit to make it worse.”
He looks at me. “We have a PTSD support group we go to. The shit some people are going through is horrendous. The one thing that’s different with you, is that you keep getting back up and you’re not hiding a fuckin’ thing. We all know where you’re at and you take advice from everyone. You refuse to give up. Christian is starting to follow in your footsteps. He thinks if you can get through your shit, he’s got no excuse to hide his own.” He smiles at me. “Fuckin’ years we tried to get through to him and it was you that did that.”
I laugh. “I thought the same thing as him. He lives through some shit.”
“I don’t know what it is, but this last year has taught me a lot about my kids. Not one of you will lay down. You keep getting up and fighting for whatever happy you can find in your lives. I’m proud of all of you.”
I slap his back and throw him chin. I always love hearing that.
The Club is fuckin’ crazy tonight. Everyone is here and it’s crowded as fuck. I keep my precious girl’s hand and get to the bar without anyone hitting my arm. Not a fuckin’ easy thing to do. Someone yells food and people move. Thank fuck. It’s a little easier to breathe. Beth has her sunshine smile on talking to my mom. Uncle Danny, Pres and Kate are laughing talking to Lily and Jess. I look around and see Uncle Steve watching everyone. He’s scanning, which never bodes well.
I look for Prez and see his head turn to his dad. The kitchen explodes to the parlor. Fuck. Officers make their way through the Brothers fighting. “What the fuck?” Both Pres and Prez yell at the same time.
“Maximum damage Brothers!” Prez says, and we all laugh and start hitting Brothers that are swinging.
Thank fuck there aren’t too many. I hit two and send another into the wall and I’m tired. Protecting my arm is exhausting.
“Good fuckin’ job one handed.”
I look back. “Thanks VP. I think three is my limit tonight.” He smiles and moves to Pres’s side. I stand with Prez, Jessie and Darren looking at a mix of MC and Princes Brothers around the room. The women are standing against the wall. I look back through to the common room; the Officers’ old ladies are still in there. Dakota, Nick and Aaron are watching at the opening and I know they moved to keep them in there. I throw them chin and Dakota smiles.
“What the fuck are we fighting about?” Prez asks.
“Club chick jumpin’ Brothers then liked younger. Had hands on him. Didn’t know she was with MC,” Uncle Steve says pissed. I translate it in my head to: a chick with an MC Brother jumped to a Prince putting hands on him. The Prince didn’t know she was MC’s and must have responded.
Jessie throws his hands up. “In the fuckin’ food line? Get your food and move out. I’m fuckin’ starving. Another delay in me getting food and I’m fuckin’ shooting you!” He walks away and people start moving to the food. I laugh walking away with Rich and Patches. “He’s turning into VP and Uncle Danny. I swear he is.”
They crack up. The old ladies are smiling when we get back. VP is watching at the doorway with Darren on the other side. I get to my girl and kiss her smiling lips. “It’s never dull with you.”
I put my hands up. “I didn’t do shit. I was here when that broke out.”
“I’m glad too. Maximum damage looked hot.” They all laugh. I shake my head and pull her to the food. I’m not waiting. Jessie follows with Jess and Dakota. We sit and Jax and Sheila sit with us. They start talking about tomorrow. Beth is smiling her sunshine at everyone. It feels good to have everyone here. Looking around I feel connected to all these people, my family. I see Smithy and Emma and laugh. He’s handing her a plate. He’s a good Brother too.
When the music gets louder we dance. My girl is getting tired so we watch the ‘rents then Dakota, Jess, Eliza and Darren swing dance. Beth is amazed and having a good time. When Jessie steps out she’s laughing. “Never in a million years would I have guessed that one.”
“Brothers and their hidden talents.” I hold her close while we watch. They’re fuckin’ good too. I can’t wait to hear what they come up with for the songs tomorrow.
The ‘rents start leaving and Prez moves over to our table. He’s smiling. “This is the first time we got an old lady and weren’t in a war. Geek says he’s moving here.” We all laugh knowing he wouldn’t leave Pres.
“Shit still hit us, but nothing like the house blowing up or losing Brothers,” Jessie says.
“I don’t care. I’m taking the days of hell and marking them done. The worst was for Taylor and he’s a fuckin’ Blackhawk, still standing and still fighting.” I laugh and throw him chin. “No war means we’re doing something right. We need that. Do you know how many single Brothers are here? We’d be fucked with a war for all of them.” He looks so serious we all laugh.
Beth hits my arm. “You have wars when the men find a woman?”
“No. I didn’t. They did. I’m the only normal one here.”
Her head snaps back. “I was kidnapped by the looney tune cop.”
Jax waves his hand like it’s no big deal. “Sheila was too, but on our wedding day. She killed him with a pen. Then we had automatic weapon fire while she was guarding the kids at the party. Made a mess of the fuckin’ food.”
I give him a look. “Seriously? You think we could have waited until the wedding was over to tell her that one?” He shrugs.
“I want to learn how to kill someone with a pen...no maybe maim them,” Beth says and everyone’s laughing. Jesus.
I stand up. “We’re out before you have her blowing up the fuckin’ buildings.”
“We blow up buildings? I saw buildings blowing up on the news.” I pull her out before they stop laughing.
“No blowing up buildings and no killing crazy fuckers with a pen. That was classic Sheila, but you don’t need that.” I put the helmet on her wanting to get away from the crazy Brothers.
“I could have used the pen thing.”
“No. No more kidnapping and no to the next crazy shit you’re going to say. We’re going home and tomorrow we’re getting married without needing a do over because of crazy. Brantley managed to keep it to a minimum and so are we.”
She laughs. “Okay.” Thank fuck!
Chapter Thirty-One
Beth
I hear people in the house. Taylor’s body freezes. “Fuckin’ old ladies.”
I laugh. “They just walk in?”
“Yeah. This is the reason I woke you up in the middle of the night. They’re as crazy as the fuckin’ Brothers. Let me get you clean before they break in the bedroom door.”
I kiss him and roll out of bed with a smile on my face. “They could just walk in.”
“I locked it last night, but they’ll have it open in no time. I know Sheila and Eliza are out there with their fuckin’ picks.”
I start laughing and don’t stop until he kisses me. “My old lady is happy today. I want to see that sunshine smile all day. You’ll be my Precious wife soon. I love you Beth.”
He pulls me into the shower without giving me a chance to answer so I smile. He’s too sugary.
Once I’m dry, the pounding on the door starts. He’s pissed, but hands me a box with a smile. It’s earrings and a necklace and they’re beautiful. Nancy must have helped because they match the blue on my dress. I kiss him with tears in my eyes. “Thank you my husband to be. I love you.” The door opens then closes.
“Put some fuckin’ clothes on Taylor!” Sheila yells.
I laugh while he smiles. “I knew that would keep them out. Love you Precious, but they’ll only stay out so long and I need the bandage changed.”
“Get dressed and I’ll change it for you before they kick you out…of our bedroom…in our house.” I’m cracking up. He walks into the closet shaking his head. I open the door and walk through the women. “I need to change his bandage. He’ll be gone right after.”
“He knows the drill; he should have b
een gone already. He’s lucky he wasn’t dressed,” Sheila says following me out.
“He knew you’d leave him alone if he wasn’t.”
Eliza and CJ laugh. Tess is sitting at the table smiling at Amanda. I get the container and go back to the room with Sheila and Eliza following then—watching as if he’s doing something wrong. Sheila’s foot is actually tapping. When he turns his head away I give her a look and she stops. I get him covered. “You’re all set husband to be.”
He kisses me then is dragged away. I laugh watching him get pulled down the hall. He waves at the end. That’s a little extreme. He probably would have just walked out. I pack up the gauze and tape and carry the box out. Every old lady is here and some of the kids. Mucimi comes to me with a flower. “Thank you little man. It’s a beautiful flower.” He laughs making me giggle. He’s so damn cute.
* * *
Taylor
I walk out the door and right over to the ‘rents. They’ll have breakfast going at least. Jacob, Jeremy and Christian are cooking making me smile. “I could eat.”
They all turn and smile at me. Mase hands me a plate and Uncle Danny sits on the side of me. “They let you stay?”
I shake my head swallowing eggs. “No, I didn’t get dressed until she was and I gave her the jewelry.”
“Smart.”
I finish eating and help them clean up. We laugh at some of the songs they have listed, but they’re not telling me who is singing what. I can’t wait. It feels good to be right here right now. Uncle Steve comes in from the deck. “Out here.”
I look behind me, but no one is there so I follow him out. “Trained for you. Like Max and Hawk but for PTSD.” I look at his face, he isn’t kidding so I nod. He whistles and a dog comes running up the stairs. It’s a puppy, but already getting big. “Prospect’s bringin’ gear to your house. Needs trainin’ with you. We do that this week. Goes home with you today. Commands are in Mohegan.”
