Always Red

by Isabelle Ronin

  I bit my lip, blushing again—but for different reasons.

  “You’re killing me here,” she whined.

  “Yes,” I murmured after a moment.

  “Yes, what?”

  “Yes.” I cleared my throat. “He can go all night.”

  Silence.

  “I’ll start praying for your poor but totally satisfied va—”

  I cut her off. “Kar!”

  “Soul. I was going to say soul.”

  I sighed.

  “How about his tongue? Can he do the helicopter—”

  “Kar!”

  “Ugh.”

  I knew Kara. She wouldn’t stop until she got what she was fishing for.

  “Maybe we can talk about this at home. Not here,” I suggested.

  I could practically hear her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

  “Fine! Oh, hi, do you have that dress in red? No, not that one, the one beside it, with the high slit going up her neck—yup, that. Is that skirt vegan leather? It’s cruelty-free?” Her voice flitted away as she chatted with the clerk.

  I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, frowning at the tight dress. Although it was a long-sleeved dress and covered half of my neck modestly, it was shorter than I would have liked.

  I almost jumped when there was a sharp knock on the door. “Well, come out and let me see you,” Kara ordered.

  She curled her top lip as I opened the door.

  “I hate you,” she pouted. “If I had that ass and those tits, oh Lord. I’d save money on clothes because I wouldn’t wear any.”

  I snorted. “I don’t think this is what I’m looking for, Kar.”

  She nodded. “You’re right. You need something classier. You look like a conservative hooker. Let’s go to another store, bestie.”

  “Nowhere expensive.”

  “It’s all good. I’ve got Lockhart’s credit card.”

  My mouth fell open. “Y-you what?”

  “I’m kidding!” She burst into giggles. “You should have seen your face.”

  I grabbed a hanger and threw it at her. “I’m thinking of making custom tea bags for Caleb’s mom,” I said, to change the subject. “I could buy her a book—”

  Kara opened her mouth and acted like she was going to vomit.

  I ignored her. “I could buy her flowers or—”

  “Why don’t you knit her a beanie?”

  I grabbed a lock of her hair and pulled.

  “Ow. All right. Fine. She’d probably appreciate diamonds more.”

  “Kar,” I said, finally letting my panic slip in my voice. “I want to make a good impression on Caleb’s mom. It’s important to me because…it’s important to Caleb. Please, I need your help. I’m really bad at this. What do you think?”

  She blew out a breath. “Well…I don’t know his mom. I hope she isn’t a bitch, for your sake. But custom-made tea bags? Really?”

  I bit my lip. “I thought… Well, it’s more personal and thoughtful. Isn’t it? Caleb said she loves tea…”

  “Oh, she does? Well, okay, I see. No, you’re right. I thought it was one of your incredible pull-it-out-of-my-ass gift ideas, but if she loves tea, give’r.”

  “I will. I bought a blend of herbs the other day, and I think they’ll help her relax after a long day. I just need to find a pretty wooden box or tin to put the bags in.”

  “Sweet. Maybe add a teapot and a cup too, for good measure.”

  “Good idea. Thanks, Kar.”

  She gave me a smile and patted my back. “What are friends for?”

  When we reached the next store, both of us stopped and stared at the mannequin dressed in a red gown.

  The dress had delicate straps and a sweetheart neckline. It fit every inch of the mannequin like a second skin and ended a couple of inches above the knees. A sheer overlay of chiffon flowed over the skirt and spilled to the floor, while a slit up the front showcased the mannequin’s legs.

  “Do you feel it? This is your dress, Ver. It’s speaking to us. It’s saying, ‘Buy me, and I’ll make you feel like you have J. Lo’s ass.’”

  I chuckled nervously. She was right. But how much was it? It looked really expensive.

  I wanted to buy it so badly. I wanted to look good for Caleb on his birthday. I also wanted to impress his mom and look presentable on Caleb’s arm when he was introduced to his new coworkers and clients.

  We entered the store and I circled the mannequin, discovering that the back of the dress was scooped low. It exposed a considerable amount of skin. I reached for the price tag and caught my breath when I saw the cost.

  “It’s expensive, Kar.”

  She glanced at the price tag. “Not for this dress. You have to get it.”

  My face fell.

  “I’ll lend you money,” she offered cautiously. She knew how sensitive I was about the topic. “You can pay it back after you graduate and find a job. How’s that?”

  I let out a defeated sigh. I couldn’t possibly take her money. There must be some way… I did a mental calculation in my head of bills that were due this month—my rent, groceries, and now my phone bill too. I was short. Really short.

  “I can’t, Kar.”

  “Hi there.” A store clerk bounced in front of us, smiling brightly. “How are you ladies today?”

  “Good,” Kara answered, still looking at me in exasperation.

  “I noticed you were looking at this dress. We’re in the process of clearing out our old stock, and this one in particular is on sale for—”

  “Holy shit. It’s on sale! That’s it. You’re getting it.”

  “Kar, calm down.”

  The clerk laughed. “It’s from last season’s designs, if you don’t mind that. It’s 60 percent off right now. All dresses with the red tag.”

  It was still slightly over my budget, but for Caleb, I would take it. It’d be worth the monthlong peanut-butter-sandwich diet I’d have to endure to pay for it.

  I was in the dressing room trying it on when I heard Kara drag a chair outside the door.

  “So where’s Lockhart now?”

  “He’s in Saskatchewan,” I replied. “They built a hotel there a few months ago, and Caleb said it needs a lot of attention since it’s new. His brother is training him.”

  “Benjamin Lockhart?” Kara sounded impressed. “Have you met him?”

  “Not yet. Caleb mentioned he’ll be at the party. You know him?”

  “Not really. I heard rumors around campus about him. I saw him, though. Damn. The Lockhart brothers are insanely gorgeous, but…get ready. Benjamin Lockhart is deadly. You know those types who give you one look—just one look—and you’re ready to drop your panties? That’s him. Yup.”

  I snorted.

  “Hold on. Will Caleb be staying in Saskatchewan?”

  Oh.

  “I-I’m not sure. We haven’t talked about it.”

  “What if he is?” she asked quietly. “Will you be moving there with him?”

  Would I?

  “My life is here.”

  “I know.” She sighed. “But that was before you met Caleb.”

  My knees felt weak, so I sat down on the bench inside the dressing room. I hadn’t thought about relocating.

  “I don’t know, Kar. Caleb wants us to buy a house here so I just assumed…”

  “He wants to buy a house?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow. He’s thinking long-term commitment. Like the have-my-babies kind.”

  I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down and cut off my disturbing thoughts. I refocused on the conversation.

  “No.” I laughed, but it was strained. Yet I felt a flutter in my stomach at the thought of carrying Caleb’s child someday. I shook my head. “Every time I give Caleb an inc
h, he takes a mile.”

  “Don’t they all?” Kara said wryly. “Listen, I’ve watched you and Lockhart this past week. You look at each other like you want to rip each other’s clothes off. It’s pretty sick, really.”

  “Jealous?” I teased.

  “Bitch. Of course I’m jealous.”

  I laughed when she rapped the door loudly.

  “I also know you well enough to say that if you don’t want to give him that mile, you won’t,” Kara continued. “You’re really stubborn. But you do give it, so that means you want it too. There’s no point in denying it.

  “That’s why you’re perfect for each other, you know? You think too much, worry too much. He looks like he doesn’t, but I’ve got Lockhart’s number now. You think he’s just another dumb, handsome face, but he’s pretty smart. And sneaky. That bastard.”

  I giggled.

  “He knows what you need, what you want, even though you haven’t realized it yet,” Kara continued.

  “You’re too careful to take risks; he isn’t. And he makes you see how simple it is, because you never do. Sometimes it is that simple. You don’t need to make it complicated.”

  I thought about Caleb’s mom. “But sometimes it is complicated.”

  “Shut the hell up. He loves you; you love him. He wants to marry you; you want to marry him. You want to be together. So be together. Simple. There will always be problems. It’s just how the world works. You’ll figure it out. If you keep waiting until you’re ready, well, you’ll be waiting forever. No one’s ever really ready.” She paused. I heard her draw a deep breath before continuing in a pained, quiet voice. “It’s a different story if he doesn’t want to fight for you.”

  “Kar…”

  “Gah.” I imagined her waving her hand in front of her face, dismissing her thoughts. “Are you impressed with all these amazing quotes I’m spouting at you? Damn, I even impress myself sometimes.” She laughed, but it sounded feigned.

  It was Cameron again, but I knew if she wanted to discuss it, she would. So I let it go.

  “What the hell are you doing in there?” she demanded. “Knitting another beanie? Come out and let me see the dress!”

  “You need to zip me up.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Just get your ass out here.” I opened the door, and Kara whistled. “Damn, you look hot.” She stared at me wide-eyed, giving me two thumbs up. “If I were a guy, I would totally do you,” she added, zipping me up.

  “Well, well, well. That’s quite a dress, Veronica.”

  I froze, my gaze whipping to the source of that familiar mocking voice.

  “Can you afford it?” Beatrice-Rose derided.

  She stood near the dress racks in front of us, a clerk beside her. I noticed that even in her expensive clothes and makeup, she looked pale and gaunt, as if she had lost weight.

  I knew from what Caleb had told me that she wasn’t well. I took a deep breath, trying hard to conjure up patience and sympathy for her.

  Before I could think of something to say, Kara interjected. “I think we need an exorcist, Ver. I’m feeling an evil spirit in the vicinity.”

  “Don’t be crass, Kara,” Beatrice-Rose sneered.

  Kara cupped her ear. “Did you hear something?”

  Beatrice-Rose ignored her and turned to me. “Make sure you don’t embarrass Caleb at the party. There will be a lot of important people in attendance. Or maybe just don’t show up. You know you’ll look cheap in whatever you wear anyway.”

  Patience and sympathy could go to hell.

  Maybe I was a bad person for this, because no matter how hard I tried to understand her, I couldn’t help the retort that came out.

  “Why would I do that,” I said calmly, “when Caleb told me I’m the only one he wants to show up at his party?”

  Her eyes flashed with anger. “You must be really good in bed if Caleb’s willing to introduce you at his party. You know he’s going to leave you sooner or later. He gets bored pretty quickly.”

  There was a gleam of malevolence in her eyes as she smiled.

  “Did you know,” she started, “that Caleb loves it when I kiss his stomach?”

  I suddenly felt sick.

  “Or,” she continued, smiling widely, “when I lick down—”

  “Hey, bitch. How are the hair extensions? You have to buy the good ones, girl, or your bald spot will show,” Kara interrupted.

  There was a horrified expression on Beatrice-Rose’s face as she shifted her eyes to Kara.

  “I don’t have a fucking bald spot!” Beatrice-Rose shrieked, loud enough that the clerk inched away from us and a few of the customers glanced warily in our direction.

  “It’s all right. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Kara continued in a comforting tone, like she was speaking to a small child. “The first step to getting over your hang-up is acceptance.”

  “You fucking bitch!”

  Beatrice-Rose’s face had turned red, her hands balled into fists. She was breathing hard, her eyes glowing with hatred. It reminded me of a rabid dog about to attack. I took a step forward to protect Kara.

  And then, as if a switch had been flipped, her face transformed into a calm mask.

  “You’re nothing but bad luck,” she taunted, sneering at Kara. “Bad luck to the people around you. No wonder your ex-boyfriend is destitute now. You’ve infected him. You’ve ruined him.”

  Kara paled. “What do you mean?”

  Beatrice-Rose cocked her head, a nasty, self-satisfied smirk on her lips.

  Before she could say anything, I walked up to her threateningly.

  “One more word,” I warned her quietly. Dangerously. My palm was tingling. “One more word, and you’ll find your face on the floor.”

  Beatrice-Rose’s mouth curled with contempt, and we stared at each other for a moment. I could feel the hatred pouring out of her.

  I noticed she placed her hand in her pocket. Then she took a step forward.

  “Is everything all right here, ladies?”

  The malice on Beatrice-Rose’s face suddenly disappeared as she threw the manager and the clerk a polite, gratifying smile, so completely at odds with her smirk just a minute ago. I wasn’t surprised. She’d appeared to be an innocent dove when I met her the first time.

  “Oh, just catching up with some friends. I’ll see you at the party, darlings,” she cooed, waving her fingers. “Ciao.”

  With my dress packed in a pretty paper bag and thrown in the backseat, I watched as Kara absently started the car. She stared through the windshield, her eyes filled with anxiety.

  “Are you all right, Kar?”

  She leaned back against the headrest. “What did the bitch mean by that? My ex is destitute? Cameron is fucking loaded.” She took a deep breath, running a hand through her hair. Turned her head to look at me. “What does she know that I don’t?”

  “She’s probably just talking bullshit.”

  She stared out the windshield again. “Yeah.”

  “If you’re really worried, I can ask Caleb.”

  Kara was quiet for a moment, lost in her thoughts. “Nah. It’s fine. You’re right. Bitch was probably high. What was she doing there anyway? Not her usual scene.” She curled her lip. “Doesn’t she shop at Bitches-R-Us or something?”

  She eased out of the parking lot, tooting her horn at a bunch of teenagers who’d decided to make the road their skateboard park. There was litter around them—McDonald’s wrappers, cigarette butts, empty soda cans.

  “Fuck you, lady!” one of them yelled, slapping the side of the car.

  Kara rolled her window down, grabbed what was left of her milk shake, and threw it at them.

  My jaw dropped. Kara didn’t say anything, just rolled her window back up and stepped on the gas. When we were three blocks away, she glanced at the rearview mirror. I
turned and looked behind us to check if they were following us. Thank God they weren’t.

  “I’m having a bad hair day,” she announced, giving me a lopsided smile. “Anyone stupid enough to piss me off when I’m having a bad hair day gets mutilated.” She sniffed, and I wondered if she was going to cry. “Now I’m more pissed off. Fuckers took my milk shake away.”

  “You’re lactose intolerant anyway,” I reminded her, hoping she’d get angry instead of sad. “You don’t need it.”

  She glared at me. “Just for that, I’m getting another one.”

  I hid my smile as she pulled into a Tim Hortons and ordered an Iced Capp with extra whipped cream, glaring at me the whole time.

  “Beatrice-Rose is sick, Kar.”

  “She’s sick, all right. Sick in the head.”

  She couldn’t have been closer to the truth if she tried. So I told her what Caleb had told me last night.

  “I don’t feel good about this. Just stay away from her, Ver.”

  “I’m not planning on having any sleepovers with her, that’s for sure,” I replied dryly.

  Kara snorted. “Bitch’d probably cook you for breakfast if you did.”

  She parked the car at the farthest end of the lot.

  “Too bad she’s not sick enough to be committed involuntarily. Maybe she’s just faking it to get sympathy. Everyone goes to therapy now, so what? I don’t feel bad for her at all. Everyone’s life has shit in it. Sometimes some people have more shit than others, but having more shit doesn’t give you the right to throw shit on other people. You know what? Let’s forget about her. Give me that Iced Capp.”

  “Don’t start farting at work,” I reminded her, pulling it from the cup holder and handing it to her.

  She gave me the finger and snatched the Iced Capp.

  “Are you sure you want to work tomorrow?” Kara asked. “You can take the day off. It’s your fiancé’s birthday.”

  I shook my head no. Weekends were very busy at the shop. I couldn’t do that to Kara. Besides, Caleb wouldn’t be back until later that day. He’d wanted to pick me up, but I told him I’d drive there with Kara.

  “Okay, then take a half day,” she insisted.

  “No. Besides, we’ll go to the party together. We have enough time to get ready and be there on time.”