Peggy Klaus

by Brag!: The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It

  GET A PLAN IN PLACE

  “I’m afraid my lack of visibility has hurt me since I’ve been telecommuting.”

  “I’m miserable. I just found out I was overlooked again for a gem assignment. And guess who beat me out? Another telecommuter with half my experience!” said Betsy, an assistant art director who at thirty-five has been working for a large multinational advertising agency for more than a decade. A year before, with the birth of her first child, she had taken maternity leave and then, like so many women, decided to avoid the long commute and stay closer to home. She asked her boss for a full-time telecommuting arrangement. Given her excellent track record, the company was eager to keep her on.

  For the last year the arrangement had worked well, but Betsy had a nagging feeling that despite her good work, her professional star was falling. More and more she was being handed second-tier assignments, and now she had just been passed over for a big account that was right up her alley. When she called her boss and asked point-blank why she had been overlooked, he said that the other telecommuter had been doggedly pursuing this assignment for a month, had done some fabulous work with another client, and had spent a day in the office introducing herself to all the members of the new account team. Quite frankly, he hadn’t even thought about giving it to Betsy, because she seemed to have her hands full. Her competition had beaten her at the bragging game!

  Betsy and I sat down and spent a good two hours completely dissecting her self-promotion efforts since she began telecommuting. It was immediately clear from the get-go that she had no plan in place. Communication with her boss was typically by e-mail, and sometimes by phone, “as needed,” and usually focused on putting out fires. There was no designated day or time for regular dialogue. Since she started working from home, she had narrowed her interaction and communication to only those working on the account: her boss, the account director, the copywriter, and, of course, the client. She had lost contact with co-workers and many of the higher-ups in other departments because she felt strange calling them or e-mailing them just to say hello. She rarely traveled to the home office because most meetings, which she attended about once a month, were held at the client’s location. In the last year she had visited the office on three occasions, once to show off her new son, and the other times to participate in all-day strategy sessions that afforded her little chance to do anything but get in and out. She also missed all sorts of schmoozing opportunities: the company’s holiday party, its annual summer barbecue, and two walk-a-thons to raise money for medical research. She had definitely taken herself out of the loop. By the time Betsy was finished explaining all of this to me, it was crystal clear why she was suffering from the “out of sight, out of mind” syndrome.

  So we put together a thoughtful and deliberate plan to raise her profile:

  1. Arrange a designated time each week for a talk with her boss, during which she would underscore how well she was performing. Regularly send e-mail updates to him about her accomplishments and any positive client feedback.

  2. Check in with colleagues by phone and e-mail a few times a week not only to let them know what she’s up to, but also to find out what’s going on in the office.

  3. Pick out five people in the firm who she needs to establish her visibility with. Create a techno-bragging trail with them, and schedule monthly trips to the city to meet with them and her boss for lunch.

  4. Make it a priority to attend corporate functions and to get involved in helping organize an upcoming event.

  Eventually Betsy reworked her techno-bragging campaign, but it took a good six months to make up for lost time before she began to see her star rise again. Remember, telecommuting can be detrimental to your future only if you let it.

  GET PERSONAL

  “The only time I hear from him is when he wants to toot his own horn.”

  In my bragging workshops I often ask participants to recall the worst e-mail offenses in personal self-promotion they have encountered. The one complaint I hear frequently is being spammed by personal contacts. In a recent workshop, Marsha, a director of a major graphics design firm in Los Angeles, seemed to sum it up best with this story.

  I don’t want to sound like sour grapes. Usually I am totally jazzed when I hear from a friend or a colleague that their professional life is going well. This morning, in fact, one of my closest buddies, a commercial photographer, sent me a copy of an e-mail from the author of the book they just worked on together. I was thrilled for him and insisted we get together to celebrate.

  But I have a friend, Charlie, whom I worked with for two years when we were starting out in the design field. We became good friends. When we parted ways for better opportunities, we used to call or correspond via e-mail to update each other on our pursuits. I moved up in the corporate world, while Charlie went off on his own as a freelancer. I hadn’t heard from him for eighteen months, until recently, when he started sending me mass e-mail announcements every time he was quoted in the press, with some generic message like, “Just wanted you to see my tech-magazine article!” It makes me angry because I feel like he sees me as a business contact instead of a personal friend. If I were to hear from him at other times, even a holiday card, or if his announcements had a personal note at the top, even a line or two, it would be much easier to be happy for him.

  Marsha now heads a department where the vast majority of the graphic work is assigned to freelancers. She adds, “Even though I could probably give Charlie a considerable amount of work, I won’t because I am so put off by his self-congratulatory e-mails.”

  So add another quintessential brag bomb to your list: spamming business contacts with one-size-fits-all self-promotion. Don’t let the efficiency of mass e-mail replace a little common sense, a little common courtesy, and the important personal side of communication—all key elements in mastering the art of techno-bragging.

  BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU BRAG ABOUT

  “His e-mail has come back to haunt him.”

  There is a fabulous line in the movie State and Main said by William H. Macy’s character: “It’s not a lie, it’s a gift for fiction.” Whether you opt for that definition or not, misrepresenting accomplishments, and not giving credit where credit is due, runs rampant in the corporate world.

  So what does this have to do with techno-bragging? With e-mail increasingly becoming the favored way to communicate, I am happy to report that many corporate Pinocchios are getting caught, as they leave a mile-long paper trail bearing witness to their misdeeds. Brag hogs beware: As easy as it is to send an e-mail, it’s just as easy for a recipient to forward it on. So you’d better start choosing your words wisely and share the credit, or like the fellow described below, you’ll find your bragging bytes might come back to bite you.

  “But … people only brag when they’re insecure.”

  You’re right about some people, but so what? They’re not you and you’re not insecure, so don’t worry about it.

  Jim, director of software development for a multimedia company, was under enormous pressure to correct major technical flaws in the company’s core software in anticipation of a new competitor entering the market. After a meeting with the executive committee, Jim received a call from Aletha, the company’s COO, suggesting that he contact an old friend of hers, an independent software developer, who was also working to solve technical problems very similar to those the company was facing.

  Jim ignored her suggestion at first because, while Aletha was very successful on the operational side, she knew very little about the real nuts and bolts of building software. When she called back a week later to check up, Jim reluctantly proceeded to act on her suggestion. After much back-and-forth on the phone with Aletha’s friend the developer, Jim met with him and was stunned to discover that the code the developer was working on would solve the company’s problems almost immediately. Jim quickly set about putting together a potential deal to buy the exclusive software license, which would save the company another six months of work,
nearly $2 million in development costs, and stop the competition in its tracks.

  In his excitement Jim wrote a memo to the company’s CEO outlining “his discovery” and the enormous advantages of the deal. The one small detail he left out, however, was Aletha’s involvement. The CEO, thrilled with these latest developments, passed Jim’s e-mail to the executive committee and board, praising his work. When Aletha got the e-mail she was furious at not being mentioned. Fortunately, she employed the twenty-four-hour rule: When you’re angry with someone, give yourself a full day to calm down and collect yourself before responding so you don’t regret what you say. But when she did finally speak to Jim, she let him know in no uncertain terms that he had misrepresented himself and that she wanted this corrected. Although Jim claimed he meant no harm, and that the oversight was unintended, the damage was there in black and white. It was going to take some time and real effort to undo. With his tail between his legs, Jim called the CEO to clarify the situation, admitting it was Aletha’s idea in the first place. The CEO then sent out another correspondence saying, “It has come to my attention that our COO played a very important part in this upcoming deal. I’d like to thank Aletha for her initiative in putting us in contact with the developer on this deal, and remind everyone how important it is that we play as a team.” Jim’s oversight in the long run might appear inconsequential, but believe me, it wasn’t. In fact, when it came time for Jim to be considered for the CTO position, the executive committee decided he needed more time to develop his leadership capabilities. Ouch!

  CHAPTER 5

  Job Interviews: Bragging Your Way In the Door

  • “It was awful! They questioned me about things I hadn’t even thought of.”

  • “Why should I have to tell them? It’s already on my résumé.”

  • “I have no experience—who would ever hire me?”

  • “If you’ve been so successful on your own, why would you want to work for someone else?”

  • “I know it may not look like it, but I’m perfect for this job.”

  • “How can I claim credit when my most impressive work experience is from a team effort?”

  • “I don’t know what to say when they ask for a reference from my last boss; frankly, she didn’t like me.”

  • “So, tell us about your biggest weakness.”

  • “I have an MBA and five years of experience, but the clincher was something I hadn’t expected.”

  Lights, camera, action! Take One. Nothing unnerves people more than job interviews. They’re often the equivalent of an actor’s audition: Recite a few lines. Sing a few bars. Next! Within seconds you’re either praised or panned. Even oral surgery seems easier to get through. While a job interview is one of the few occasions completely set aside for no-holds-barred bragging, few people relish the notion of promoting themselves when they are being so blatantly sized up on the spot. To those who complain of feeling like trained seals: Guess what? It’s not any easier on the other end. Given hour after hour of candidates reciting exactly what is on their résumés with no more animation than if they were reading the phone book, many employers and headhunters would rather spend the time having a few wisdom teeth extracted themselves.

  What’s wrong with this picture? Well, I hate to say this, but it’s probably you! Last month I spoke to a forty-year-old, recently laid off communication director who was bemoaning the fact that she had sent out sixty résumés, gone on eight job interviews, and still hadn’t snagged a position. As she explained to me the fierceness of the competition, because unemployed marketing professionals were a dime a dozen in this economy, I pulled out my “Take 12” questionnaire and simply asked her question #6, “What career successes are you most proud of having accomplished?” She paused and then stammered. Far from having an answer right there on the tip of her tongue—after eight interviews, no less—she proceeded to ramble on for about five minutes, never really answering the question. It was clear that the competition was not the real barrier: Her bragging campaign lacked preparation and focus.

  When you are job hunting, the best way to prepare for interviews is to go back and review your answers to “Take 12.” Write at the top of the page in large letters the five things about you that make you the perfect candidate for each position you have applied for. Focus on the experiences and strengths that best underscore why you are the best match for the job, and convey them in a way that helps the interviewer envision you in action. Pretend you were asked, “What would your current boss say about you?”—to which my friend Diane, an editor for a large daily newspaper, might respond, “He would say that I’m a pleasure to work with. We are under incredible deadlines in the newspaper business; things change on a dime. He likes my ability to turn things around fast, to get to the sources we need on a moment’s notice, and to do so with a smile on my face.”

  Don’t fudge your qualifications or describe yourself as someone you aren’t. Stretching the truth makes people so anxious during job interviews that their own unease is what sinks them. When you choose words that honestly describe your strengths and experiences, reflecting a genuine belief that you are capable of doing a great job, it’s infinitely easier to brag. And when you really believe in what you are saying, you’re much more apt to relax, be conversational, and create a personal connection with the interviewer. My client Jean, for example, when applying for a sales position, was planning to pretend she had a stereotypical sales personality by using adjectives such as outgoing, extroverted, and assertive. I suggested instead that she fill her bragologues with descriptions of her authentic qualities, ones that would be equally useful for someone with sales responsibilities: enthusiasm, interest in the product, and liking to help people learn about things.

  For any job interview, make sure to also prepare yourself for those zingers—the concerns that employers or headhunters might have about you and your career record. Develop responses that address a spotty job history, how your skills translate from one field to another, lack of experience, or those inevitable questions such as “Tell me about your weak points.” Finally, on a separate piece of paper, write down everything you know about the organization and the people who will be at your interview— even if it requires lengthy online research, calling the human-resources director, or contacting a friend of a friend who might have the inside scoop. Check to ensure that your bragologue hits the target. Are the things you plan to say going to be exactly what the interviewer is likely to want to know about you? To help you out, the rest of this chapter is devoted to eye-opening stories of bragging bloopers and successes at job interviews and the lessons learned along the way.

  DO YOUR HOMEWORK

  “It was awful! They questioned me about things I hadn’t even thought of.”

  Donna, marketing director for a Seattle-based health clinic, thought her interview for the position of development director for a prominent community arts center would be a cinch. After all, she had helped turn around a fledgling clinic, and patient enrollment was now at an all-time high. In addition, some fifteen years earlier she had been involved in the development of a well-known performing arts center in the Washington, DC, area. Shopping for a new skirt and pair of heels for the big interview day, she breezed over in her mind her history and accomplishments, and felt comfortable that she would do just fine.

  When she walked into the interview room, she was surprised to find the organization’s six key players gathered around a conference room table waiting for her. Instead of one person interviewing her followed by another, the human-resources director explained, scheduling conflicts meant this was the only way to guarantee everyone who needed to meet her saw her. Like a storm approaching from afar on a sunny day, a feeling of dread quickly replaced Donna’s easy attitude. Was this going to be an interview or an ambush?

  Donna believed she got off to a good start as she outlined her marketing and sales successes with the health clinic. When they pressed her more, however, on how her health experience translate
d to increasing traffic and interest in the community arts center, things began to unravel. One of the directors pointed out that with lives on the line, people were more apt to invest in health care, whereas art was an entirely different matter. He reminded her of the center’s slim operating budget. “I didn’t realize that,” she said, quietly berating herself for not digging out these details beforehand. When asked for some of her development ideas for the center, she continued, “Well, I’d really need to know more about your funding situation before I could discuss that. I was hoping we could do that today.” Her comment was met with chilly silence—one that said “Our purpose here today isn’t to spend our time educating you, but rather to be enlightened by you.”

  Donna quickly redirected the conversation to her past experience in the performing arts, recalling some of the hurdles she overcame as the first assistant director at another center and a two-year stint as manager for a group of artists where she raised $500,000 in grants from the National Endowment for the Arts. That was all fine and dandy, but someone remarked that the world of fundraising was vastly different today from fifteen years ago. The NEA had become politicized and controversial, fallen victim to some huge funding cuts, and had become a very unreliable source of funds for smaller organizations. They had learned long ago to place their bets elsewhere. This person asked her whether she knew other private foundations in the region that could support the organization. Someone pointed out that the first two she mentioned as potential sources were already contributors, something she had read on the organization’s website but had forgotten. As she stumbled through the rest of the meeting, she looked out on a sea of glazed stares and thought “How could this cinch of an interview have sunk so low?”