Bitter Fruits

by Daltry, Sarah

  “She made me believe... But it doesn’t matter. Because you’re right - I didn’t do it. Somehow, though… Unless you-” He turns to his brother.

  Alec shakes his head, his own grief rising to the surface. “I only found out she’d been alive all those years a few days ago. I lived for five decades thinking I was the cause of death of the only woman I had ever loved.” He turns to me. “Had ever loved. Although-”

  “It’s why you didn’t want to get involved with me.”

  He nods. The animosity between Alec and Caleb is palpable and I can sympathize with both of them. It disturbs me that the whole situation is not far off from where we stand now, although the difference is that I’ve already bound myself to Caleb. And yet, last night, I made even more promises to his brother.

  Caleb speaks, breaking me from my reverie. “I think I know what happened, although something is still missing. When we read the notes left behind by a professor Nora tracked down-”

  “Jeremiah,” interrupts Henry. “What do you mean ‘left behind?’”

  Caleb turns. “The revenants were kinder to you than to your friend. I’m sorry.”

  “I see,” Henry says. He takes it well, though. Or it’s the heavy drugs Scarlet got him for the pain. Either one.

  “Anyway,” Caleb continues. “I recognized something in his research. When I realized that the revenants were raised in the same town where Teresa had lived, I looked deeper.”

  “And?” Alec asks.

  “Somehow, Lilith did something to Teresa before her death. When she was reborn, she was different because she began the process prior to dying. I don’t know how nor do I understand why, but there was a note. Something about recompense for the strength of a woman.”

  Henry drinks again. “I think we all need to rest, but there is much we need to discuss of Lilith’s tale. I fear that even you two, the tools with which she used to hammer this story into being, have been blinded by lies over the years. This goes far back, all the way to the beginning, to the Garden and the fruit.”

  “Are we seriously getting a lecture instead of fighting a war?” Scarlet asks.

  Henry laughs, but it causes him to cough again. The fit passes and he takes Scarlet’s hand. “You know, my dear, knowledge is a greater weapon than-”

  “No,” she says. “I’ll listen to your little history lesson, but I best be getting a big ass sword.” I can’t argue with Scarlet. I appreciate Henry’s sentiment, but I would prefer to face Lilith with more than a lengthy list of archetypes. A big ass sword sounds just about perfect.

  “Fine. We will rest. Time is running short, but we can continue the discussion tomorrow. Henry, Scarlet, I have a spare room...” And with that, Caleb leads them down the hall, leaving me alone with Alec. He’s quiet, pensive; I don’t want to bother him so I merely rest my hand over his. When Caleb comes back, we are just sitting like that.

  His eyes shift between the two of us; I’m taken aback when he addresses Alec instead of me. After the battle stirring between them, I expected to play the mediator. Relief is undeniable, because I can’t say I don’t see both sides.

  “Tomorrow, we have our work ahead of us,” he says.

  “I’m ready,” Alec replies. “This has gone on long enough. I no longer care what the outcome is, provided that there is one.”

  Caleb nods and then turns off the lights in the kitchen. It’s late and he’s right; the road ahead of us is not one for the sleepless. “Brother, you can have the couch. Nora...” He doesn’t finish. The choice is left floating in the air. I can go with Caleb to his bed, denying Alec, or I can stay here with Alec, and break my promise to Caleb. Either choice makes a liar out of me, and I’m not a liar. Instead, I stand up.

  “I’m going outside.” I don’t know how to choose and so I walk. I don’t get far before Caleb catches up to me. The woods are dark, but I have found a path and I’m staring at the sky when he rests a hand on my shoulder. His voice spills into my ears from behind me.

  “Nora, I know. It was never unclear how you felt,” he says. “I didn’t go into anything blindly. I’m sure you hear us speak of Teresa, of what happened in the past, but it’s different this time. Even if you broke my heart irreparably, I would never change a thing.”

  “I don’t want to break anyone’s heart,” I say, but I don’t know if he hears me. The words are carried away in the icy wind. He turns me to face him.

  “My brother needs you. Come back and ease his pain. I don’t know what will come, but I would be pleased to know that he enjoyed his last days if the cycle cannot be broken.”

  “But us-”

  He cuts me off with a kiss. I want more, but he breaks away. “We are eternal. You are the only one who can touch the Mark without injury. You have drunk from me. The bond cannot be severed except through death. I don’t doubt you, but my brother is losing hope.”

  “I can’t let you kill him. I know it’s only for a period of time, maybe mere hours, but I made a promise-”

  “I know.”

  “I will die for him,” I confess to Caleb. He looks pained, but he nods.

  “And Nora, I would die for you. A thousand deaths if it would be enough.”

  “I love you. Both of you.” Saying it aloud sounds absurd, but it’s the absolute truth of the matter. If I had to face my death to prevent hurting either of them, I would do so. In fact, in this moment, under the night sky, with Caleb trying to hide his broken heart, I resolve that this is exactly what I will do. I will find a way to save them both, regardless of the price.

  He takes my hand. “I know. Come back inside.”

  We’re at the end of the path leading to the cabin when I stop Caleb. I reach my hands up into his shirt and touch his back, my fingers letting the scars lead me to the Mark. I want to see if it was a fluke, if it really is okay. Small flames lick my wrists, but nothing happens. I rise onto my tiptoes and bring his face to mine. The kiss is quick, but it speaks of his desire, which he is fighting for the sake of Alec and for my own sanity. I thank him for his sacrifice with my mouth, promising everything my words cannot. He grips me tight and I don’t want the kiss to end; I want to take this to its climax but we can’t. There are battles to fight and hearts at stake. Instead, I tease his bottom lip and back away. He says nothing but moves to the cabin alone, leaving me space to follow him at an inconspicuous distance.

  Caleb has already gone to his room when I return; Alec is still on the couch.

  “I know you love him,” he says.

  “I do.”

  “You can go to him. I don’t want your pity.” His anger is new, a rage that may have existed but was never before directed at me. I sit beside him and try to take his hand; he pulls away but I stay where I am. I dig my fingers into his thigh, the physical pain an exchange for the sharpness in his words.

  “It isn’t pity. It’s hard enough knowing that there’s no way this can end well. I can’t survive without either of you. But being angry with me... You said to me that we could not choose love.”

  His eyes meet mine; the anger subsides but it doesn’t disappear entirely. It would take very little to stoke the embers. “You’re right,” he says. “I also promised that I would understand. I suppose that I do understand, but I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt. He was always-”

  “Always what? You were the favored son,” I argue. Defending Caleb may not be the smartest move, but Alec will not play the victim with me. People say time heals all wounds, but these two are carrying a grudge that has outlived the sky and earth. If we are to have any hope of breaking this curse, of killing Lilith, they need to be willing to let it go. I know we’re talking about murder, but we’re also talking about eons of time.

  “So I deserved to die?” Alec asks, bitterness slipping back into his voice.

  “No, of course not. I can’t believe you think I would ever say that. I only meant that your brother feels shame for what he did. Maybe it’s time to see him as he is now, not as he was then.”

  �
�Shame after the fact is not the same as morality.” Alec’s conviction is solid, but I suppose it often is when you’re the one with history on your side.

  “Who said it was?” I demand. “I don’t want to discuss morals; I want you to try to remember him as someone other than one mistake.”

  “I wish I understood the why. Never, in all time, has he told me why.”

  “I don’t think he knows,” I tell him.

  “It is unforgivable,” Alec says. I have nothing to add, because, in the end, he’s right. All of Caleb’s remorse is meaningless when he not only killed his brother once, but also has continued to do so for eternity. Still, I think of everything else that Caleb is and I know that even the worst faults can open room for something better. There has to be a way to show Alec that.

  Suddenly, he leans over and pulls me down onto the couch in his arms. We are both sleepy and overwhelmed and the night fades. I snuggle closer against him and he rocks me to sleep. All night, my dreams are haunted by images of Caleb standing bloodied over Alec’s body. Every time, Alec’s last words are an indictment of my broken promises.

  15.

  Henry is in top form after some rest (and I am sure relaxation via Scarlet if the noises from the spare room reveal anything). He sits us down and pulls out a leather journal. It is bursting at the seams. Settling into his chair, he pushes his glasses down onto his nose. I grin; sometimes Henry really is just a walking cliché.

  “So in my studies, I compiled several notes-”

  “You keep notes on Lilith?” I ask.

  “Shut up,” Scarlet says. “He’s scholarly. It’s sexy.”

  “Also likely illegal,” I mumble. She smiles, but we turn our attention back to Henry.

  “I want to start in Eden,” he says. Caleb and Alec, who had been standing, grab chairs. It’s going to be that kind of lesson. “Even before the fruit.”

  “The apple?” Scarlet asks.

  “Most scholars think it was actually a fig,” Henry corrects.

  “Apparently most scholars have never eaten a fig,” I say. “No one is giving up eternal bliss for a fig. Gross.”

  “But an apple is totally reasonable,” he teases.

  “Better than a fig.”

  “Anyway, yes, before the fig apple,” he continues. “There are many versions that show Lilith as being made just as Adam was, from the clay or dust or whatever word you want to use. However, Lilith was not submissive, which was what Adam demanded of his wife. She considered herself equal.”

  “Blasphemy,” I say and Scarlet laughs.

  “Right. So, Adam could not control her. Now stories suggest she was banished and then Adam’s rib was used to make Eve. There are other theories, however, that suggest that it was Adam, not-”

  “Don’t say it,” I interrupt.

  “Oh, yes, I forgot. Well, it may have been that Adam was the one who forced Lilith out of Eden. Now, after a time, he and Eve came across the fruit, and the story is pretty well known from there.”

  “Okay, but what difference does it make who banished Lilith?” I ask.

  “Nora, you’re a girl. Let’s use Scarlet and me as an example. If either of us were to go public with our relationship-”

  “Which we won’t because you need a job and I need to keep my scholarship for one more full semester,” Scarlet interjects.

  “Hypothetically only,” Henry says. “So assuming we went public... Would it be the same for Scarlet to be expelled by the dean because of a violation of the code of conduct as it would be if I were to petition for her removal from campus?”

  “Why the fuck would you petition to remove me from campus?” Scarlet asks. The wrath twists her body and I thank God it is only a hypothetical story. However, Henry’s example clarifies a lot.

  “So she’s pissed? He spurned her,” I say.

  “Right. Now, in the small group I know who has been studying this myth, we came across even more damning theories.”

  “Seriously, why would you petition-” Scarlet asks, but Henry kisses her forehead and strokes her thigh.

  “Hypothetical. Now please shut up.”

  “You’re lucky you have a huge-”

  “Anyway,” I interrupt. “Lilith. Please, let’s talk more about the monster.”

  “I was,” Scarlet winks.

  “Gross. Henry, continue.”

  He blushes. “It has been widely accepted that Lilith was banished and then Eve was created. Now, imagine if Eve came first. Before the banishment. She and Lilith were friends, confidantes, possibly even lovers.”

  “Really?” I ask.

  “Remember, most Biblical lore shows the fruit as being related to sexual awareness. Prior to its consumption, sex was purely natural and instinctual. There were no morals or values assigned to pleasure. If there were only three people in the Garden, I imagine-”

  “Adam had it made,” I finish. None of the guys argues; even immortals apparently have the same generic fantasies.

  “So why make her leave?” Caleb asks.

  “Why indeed?” Henry says.

  “And why wouldn’t Eve defend her friend?” I ask.

  “Because she was scared. Because something happened,” Alec answers.

  “Go with me a little deeper. Let’s imagine, just for the sake of argument of course, that the three did coexist in Eden. Someone spoke to the serpent and took the fruit.”

  “Eve,” I say.

  “Perhaps. But why? Why would she do it?” Henry asks.

  “She did it to please the man who controlled her,” Alec replies.

  “Our father,” Caleb adds.

  “Wait. So Adam wanted to eat the fruit, but used Eve to do it? Why?”

  “It was very clear that they were not to eat the fruit. They had one instruction. Of course…”

  “He was a guy, so he figured maybe he could get five women? Two wasn’t enough,” I say. “He just had to see what would happen if he tried the fruit.”

  “I don’t know what he craved. Perhaps nothing more than power. Now, Jeremiah and I have theorized that he didn’t ask Eve first. We’re not even sure she loved him.”

  “Really?” I ask.

  Caleb nods. “Before she turned me, Lilith confessed that she loved my father with all of her soul. However, he preferred Eve. When he came back, they had an argument and she said that Eve didn’t even love him, that she merely tolerated him. Maybe it was just vengeance, but it could be true.”

  “Our mother loved us,” Alec says. “But our father was always distant.”

  “Interesting,” Henry says. “So if he asked Lilith to take the fruit, he had reason to banish her.”

  “And then Eve, despite not loving him, did what he asked because she was created to serve him,” I say.

  “Correct.”

  “So throughout history, everyone has blamed women for everything wrong about society. Yet one woman denied him and the other only did his bidding because he was a control freak and demanded a second wife who was obedient?” I ask.

  “It’s a theory.”

  “Okay, but how will this help us?” Alec says. “It changes nothing about the cycle.”

  “It changes something. It changes the story. And if the entire foundation of man’s existence is based on lies, why is it not possible that our own destinies were written by a liar as well?” Caleb asks.

  “What makes you think she will tell you now?” I ask. “She’s clearly managed to keep her secrets well for this long.”

  “She’s scared,” Caleb says. “You saw it. Something about Teresa. Whatever Teresa is...”

  Henry speaks up. “Lilith turned her into what she was as a weapon against the two of you. In loving Teresa, in Caleb’s willingness to give of himself out of love for her, you broke something between yourselves and your creator. She came to realize that she could not control you forever. However, in doing so, in starting the change before her death, Lilith ensured that, upon her revival, Teresa regained her memories. And now she wants to destr
oy Lilith.”

  “To break the curse?” I ask. “Teresa wants Alec?”

  “I don’t know,” Henry says. “However, destroying Lilith will kill everything that is a part of her. Including Teresa and including you both. I’m not sure-”

  “What?” The question comes from Caleb, Alec, and me simultaneously.

  “If Lilith dies, all that is part of her dies with her. Didn’t you know that?”

  “But-” Caleb says.

  “So the curse is unbreakable?” Alec asks. “It’s either I die repeatedly or we both die for good?”

  Henry wrinkles his forehead. “There are two other possibilities. Although-”

  “Anything,” Caleb says. “Everything we have done, everything I have done...”

  Alec rests a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Even I can’t fault you for that, brother. After the first time, neither of us had a choice. Really, I am more to blame than you are.”

  I don’t think, in all of eternity, these two have ever shared a moment like this; each takes his share of the blame for the course of destiny. It’s something, I figure. If everything is changing, if the stories they’ve been told are lies, perhaps their decision to hear one another for the first time will play a part. Alec’s walls, created from his anger and his hate, are starting to crumble; if Caleb can break through those walls…

  “What do we need to do?” Caleb asks. “I will do anything.”

  “Well, like I said there are two ways. The first is that you kill yourself in place of your brother, breaking the cycle and ending your own life.”

  “How long has that been an option?” Alec asks.

  “For all time.”

  “But I tried to-”

  “No. Caleb must choose to die and take his own life. The Mark prevents anyone else from trying,” Henry explains.

  “That settles it. We will fight Lilith and, when the time comes, I will pay the cost of my brother’s death with my life. It’s the least I can do.” Alec looks stunned and tries to speak, but I stop him.

  “No.” It’s a simple word but there is much to it. I will not lose either of them.

  “Nora, there is no other way,” Caleb argues.