His to Love (Fireside #1)

by Stacey Lynn

  “I will wait for you out here,” Malik said, his face a blank mask.

  I reached for the file, needing the proof in my hand when I confronted Tyson. With a dip of my chin, I acknowledged Malik’s words. Then I waited until the rear door opened, and I climbed out. Lead filled my feet, making every step feel painful and take longer than it should have.

  With growing trepidation, I rang the doorbell and took a step back. I had never done that before, but I no longer felt like I could just walk in, even though I knew Tyson was expecting me.

  He’d told me to come to him after. Made me promise.

  I was beginning to understand why, and I hated the unease swirling inside me that thickened with every breath.

  “Hey,” he said, his eyes wide as he opened the door. His shock quickly evaporated as he noticed the limo on the street behind me. “What’s going on?” He pulled his shoulders back and narrowed his eyes.

  I stood there, speechless, wavering in my certainty that I could believe Malik despite the proof in my hands.

  This was Tyson. He wouldn’t betray me. Not like this. Would he?

  I shook my head when he asked, “Blue? What’s going on?”

  “Um.” I licked my lips and held out a file. “You told me to come to you.”

  “What’s this?” he asked, looking down at the file in my hands. Then his head snapped up and he glared over my shoulder. “I think we need to talk. Come inside.”

  I shook my head and the backs of my eyes began burning.

  “Did you lie to me?” I asked, tripping over the simple words.

  My knees trembled when Tyson’s lips twisted and he heaved a deep breath.

  “Blue…come inside. Please.” His eyes focused on me, his voice softened. I wanted to fall into the arms that were now hanging loose at his sides.

  I shook my head and then held out the file. “Tell me, Tyson. Because ten years ago, I believed crap when I apparently shouldn’t have, but now I’m asking you to tell me the truth.”

  “It’s not what you think,” he said immediately and snatched the file from my hand.

  He didn’t open it though, just stayed focused on me. His chest moved quicker than normal as he breathed, but his posture stayed relaxed. I couldn’t fathom how he could look at me like that, like there was nothing wrong, placating me with his softened voice when I felt wound so tight I could snap.

  “You’re not with the FBI?” I tilted my head to the side and saw him flinch. “You’re not trying to get revenge for your dad’s death?”

  Another flinch.

  The tears burning the backs of my eyes moved to the front and he became blurry in front of me. Tyson’s lips pursed and he reached for me, but I jerked my shoulder back.

  “Come inside and talk to me. I told you I needed to talk to you tonight. There are things you don’t understand.”

  I shook my head. “You haven’t answered my questions. Any of them.” Ever…I realized. He was so quick to change the subject, barely giving me any of the information I sought about what he’d done after college.

  “God. You didn’t even go to law school, did you? All this time…” Unable to finish, I let my voice trail off. “Was any of it true?”

  He took a step out of his house until he was on the front porch with me. Behind me, I heard the sound of a door opening and slamming shut. Tyson’s gaze snapped to look over my shoulder but I refused to take my eyes off him.

  “Did you use me to get close to my family?”

  He blinked and looked back at me. A muscle moved by his nose. I got nothing but silence.

  Anger began rolling through me, pouring out of me before I could stop myself.

  “Did you use me, Tyson?” I shouted, leaning in.

  “That was what I came here for, yes,” he whispered. “But—”

  “Fuck you,” I hissed. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

  “You don’t understand the full story.”

  I stepped back, swiping tears off my cheeks, and watched him step closer to me.

  I shook my head and held out my hand. “Don’t come closer.”

  “I’ll give you tonight,” he said, “because I know you’re upset, but you have to know, Blue…you have to know that what we have between us is real. You know the man I am, and that man wouldn’t do what you’re assuming right now. Give me a chance to explain it to you when you’ve calmed down.”

  I didn’t believe him. I couldn’t, as much as I wanted to.

  “The man I thought you were turned out to be a liar who has tricked me for the last month,” I stated, taking another step back.

  From my purse, my phone began to ring.

  I ignored it.

  “That’s not who I am and you know it. You’ll know it when you search deep.”

  My phone continued ringing.

  More tears fell down my cheeks and I shook my head again. “I don’t know anything. Not anymore. Not when it comes to you.”

  “I love you,” he said and walked to me until his hands curved around my shoulders. He stared me straight in the eyes and repeated, “I love you, Gabriella Bluejay Galecki. Do not leave here tonight without knowing that…without hearing this.”

  “You don’t,” I croaked and shook him off.

  My phone rang again.

  This time, Tyson looked at my purse. “You better answer that.”

  “Goodbye, Tyson.” I turned to walk away, but when I did, Tyson reached for me and pulled me back to him so my back was close to his chest, his mouth at my ear.

  In front of me, Malik was walking up the lawn. His hand was on his phone, holding it to his ear, and he was glaring at Tyson.

  Tyson whispered in my ear. “We need to talk, though, and soon. That case I told you I was wrapping up this week? Think about that, Blue. There are things I need to tell you about. Things I need to warn you—”

  “We need to go,” Malik stated, cutting off Tyson.

  My phone beeped in my purse.

  Ice slithered into my veins.

  “No.” I shook my head rapidly and stepped away from both of the men who were staring at me.

  Malik nodded and Tyson cursed.

  “That was your father,” Malik stated. “It’s your mom. We need to go.”

  “Fuck,” Tyson cursed again and stepped toward me. “Blue.”

  My name rolling off his lips sounded tortured.

  I held my hand up and glared at him. “I can’t do this. Not tonight. Not now.”

  Not ever again.

  Malik held out his hand for me to take, but I brushed him away too. If someone touched me, I’d crumble.

  I turned away from both men and walked toward the limo, but paused when Tyson called my name again. I looked at him over my shoulder and saw his expression twisted into pain and regret. It was clear.

  It was also too late.

  “I do love you, Blue.”

  I’d wanted to hear those words for so long, and now, it was too late for those, too.

  I said nothing but turned around and climbed into the waiting car, sliding to the far end and kicking off my heels.

  Then I pulled my feet up onto the bench, dropped my head to my knees, and sobbed.

  Chapter 19

  “Where is she?” I shouted as soon as I ran into my family’s house, still shoeless. Desperation clawed at my throat, making me feel wild and feral.

  My vision blurred as Clarissa shuffled out of the kitchen and headed straight toward me with her arms open. “Bella,” she whispered, tears already falling down her cheeks.

  “No.” I shook my head and took several steps away from her. “She’s not—” The word “gone” clogged in my throat, unable to escape.

  I knew it had been coming. I knew it was here.

  I still didn’t want to accept it. I continued walking away from Clarissa. Her hands fell to her sides as I backed into the wall. It jarred my spine and I sank to my knees.

  My head fell into my hands as more sobs escaped my throat, making my shoulders shake. “S
he can’t be.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Clarissa whispered. Her gentle voice felt like needle pricks along my arm, and I flinched away from her touch. “She went in her sleep.”

  As if that was any consolation.

  Tears soaked into my dress as I curled into myself. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling even as I heard the door open and Clarissa moved away from me.

  Malik crouched next to me and pulled me into his arms. “I’m sorry, Gabriella,” he said. “This is not what I wanted for you tonight.”

  For the first time since he threw the file folder at me in the car, he didn’t sound angry. I sank into his arms, unaware I was doing it until his hand slid down my back. Then he was moving, up and on his feet, carrying me along with him.

  “I need to see her,” I mumbled into his chest. I didn’t want to. God, I didn’t want to see her now.

  “The car is on its way for her.”

  My hands curled into Malik’s suit coat as he headed up the stairs. I held on tighter as he turned the corner at the top of the stairs and walked directly into my parents’ bedroom.

  “Thank you for bringing her home,” my father said. His voice sounded thick with emotion, perhaps the first time I’d heard it that way.

  “She’s not handling this well,” Malik replied, guiding me to a lush chair in the corner of their room. “We also had a run-in with Agent Blackwell.” I flinched in his arms and heard my father curse. Then Malik set me in the chair and crouched down, moving his hands to my own, which were still gripping his coat. He peeled away my fingers and set them in my lap. With gentleness I hadn’t expected from him, his thumb pressed against my chin and he tilted my head up to look him in the eyes.

  “I am sorry for your loss,” he whispered. “You have had a lot thrown at you in a short time. Will you be okay?”

  I stared at him blankly, unable to answer.

  “We can call a doctor,” he continued, “get you something to help you sleep.”

  I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to rewind the last hour, changing it. I just lost Tyson and my mom in a matter of moments. I didn’t reply. I turned from Malik, jerked out of his light touch and closed my eyes.

  The back of his knuckles brushed across my temple. “I’ll let you say your goodbyes.”

  In my peripheral vision, I saw him stand up and move toward the doorway. As he reached it, he clasped my father’s hand and leaned in. After exchanging murmured words I couldn’t hear, both men embraced in that handshake-back-clap way men did. Then Malik pulled away and glanced at me. “I apologize for my part in this tonight, Gabriella, but you needed to know.”

  I nodded numbly. Everyone thought I needed to know things, and yet no one told me when it would matter. Tyson’s last warning about his case that was ending soon flashed through my mind but I pushed it down. Now wasn’t the time to worry about it. I looked away from Malik as he left the room, and I turned to see my mother’s body lying prone on her bed.

  Just where I had held her days ago.

  More pain pierced my chest as I saw her, really saw her.

  So still.

  So pale.

  I scrambled to my feet and climbed onto the bed.

  “Mom,” I sobbed through a raw voice as soon as I was next to her. My hand slid down her shoulder and I shifted so I was lying on my side. Her eyes were closed and her skin was already cool to the touch, making me cry even harder.

  Not caring and not even thinking about my father, and what he thought of me in that moment, I wrapped my arm around her cool stomach and pressed my cheek to her shoulder. There, I closed my eyes and held my mom for what I now knew, would be the very last time.

  And I sobbed against her throat, my entire body shaking and trembling with tears and sadness and a pain that had lanced itself so deep I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to dig it out.

  I stayed like that until my father’s warm hands curved around my shoulder, turned me away from my mom, and he whispered, “It’s time to let her go.”

  —

  It was well after midnight when I sat in the formal living room at my parents’ house. Clarissa had been busy, waiting on everyone in the house who still remained.

  My mother was long gone, carried out of the house on a stretcher with a sheet fully covering her. I lost it again, sinking to my knees and was once again picked up by Malik and carried to where I was now.

  I had no idea if he was still in the house, and I didn’t care.

  “More coffee?” Clarissa asked, holding a stainless steel carafe in front of me. I held out my cup and allowed her to fill it.

  I didn’t remember even drinking the first cup she gave me.

  “You must eat,” she whispered, and my eyes flickered to hers. When I met her gaze, I could only see unadulterated pain so I looked away.

  I’d been staring at an empty fireplace for who knows how long with absolutely no thought in my head. The entire mood in the house was just as somber, just as mournful.

  Clarissa sighed and walked away.

  She returned quickly with my clutch in my bag and held it out for me. “Malik brought this in for you before he left,” she said. “Your phone has been buzzing for the past twenty minutes.”

  I glanced at my clutch and nodded. When I made no move to take it from her hand, she set it in my lap.

  This time as she walked away, I turned to her. “Clarissa?” I asked, and she looked back at me over her shoulder. “I didn’t think it would hurt this much.”

  “We never do, bella.” Her lips tilted down at the edges and I saw her chin quiver with emotion. “I made your bed in your old room for you if you want to stay the night.”

  I didn’t. I wanted to flee from this house and forget all the misery it had brought me. I also didn’t want to be alone.

  And now, the one person who could have helped was also part of my pain.

  My phone buzzed again, vibrating against my thigh. I took it out and saw Blackbird on the screen. I stared at his picture, one I’d taken of us when we had gone for a walk around his neighborhood. His cheek was pressed to my temple, and we were both grinning as I snapped the selfie. My phone stopped ringing and the photo disappeared. Then my thumb slid to the button on the top. I powered down my phone and threw it back into my purse.

  —

  “Are we done yet? I’m exhausted and I’ve told you everything I know.”

  My father and Malik had been questioning me for the last two hours. They wanted to know what Tyson and I discussed during every conversation, what we did when we saw each other. My father’s cheeks turned dark purple when I looked at him with wide eyes and asked him if he really wanted details of his daughter’s sex life.

  As if his blatant disappointment and fury weren’t apparent enough before.

  Malik quickly stepped in, wanting to know where we went, who else we spoke to. I had no information to give them, insisting that we didn’t talk about them—other than the night when I agreed to attend the benefit with Malik. I repeated what I had told Tyson about Malik taking over my father’s business, but I couldn’t recall anything else I’d said.

  Although that admission alone seemed to be damaging enough. Both of them sucked in a harsh breath and then cursed up a storm.

  I answered everything they asked me, not feeling any of it. Then I tried not to think of what would happen if they got their hands on Tyson.

  I woke up this morning electing not to give a thought to Tyson Blackwell beyond anything that was absolutely necessary, like this conversation.

  My father slowly perused me, and I could practically feel his distaste for me from across the room. He sneered and sat down at the chair at his desk. “Go. And try to not bring any further humiliation to your family in the next hour.”

  “I didn’t mean to,” I mumbled. My hands balled into fists and I jumped at a loud noise.

  My head snapped up and I saw my father’s fist on top of his desk. “Ten years ago I sent you away due to your sick fascination with a family who wan
ted nothing else than to bring this family—your family—down. How you can be so naïve and stupid to think that Blackwell wouldn’t join his father’s crusade is beyond me.”

  “He told me he was a lawyer!” I all but shouted the words, though they were useless. We’d been over this ad nauseam.

  “And this is why we look into people.”

  “Fine.” I waved my hand in his direction and turned around. I caught Malik’s gaze before he looked away from me. Even to him, I was now worthless. “I get it. I’ll meet you in the entryway later so we can go to the funeral home.”

  We were supposed to be leaving in an hour and I was desperate to escape his office. The mention of my mother and our agenda for the day ahead fell like a lead weight in the room.

  “Very well,” my father said as I walked away. But it was the first time I heard emotion in his voice that wasn’t disgust or anger.

  I was just barely around the corner from his office before tears fell on my face.

  “Gabriella,” Malik called as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

  He walked toward me once I paused. Then he slid his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. He casually leaned against the banister. “Your father and I have been working for two years on my slow takeover of his organization. We’ve done everything possible to keep this quiet from his enemies and anyone who can’t be fully trusted. The fact that you’ve now spilled his greatest secret to the FBI is detrimental in ways you can’t begin to comprehend.”

  “I get it.” I brushed tears off my cheeks and looked away. “But I’ve already apologized and it wasn’t done maliciously.”

  Sadness flashed in his eyes when he said, “It is bad enough for a man to lose his wife, but this is simply something he doesn’t need to be dealing with right now. Perhaps in time, he’ll grow to be less angry with you, but for now, you need to understand he’s just lost the only person he’s ever cared about.”

  I flinched and looked away. “I get that, Malik, I do. But you realize that you’ve just said my father has only loved one person…and this whole time he’s had a daughter who’s wanted nothing but that from him. I might not understand the pain of losing a spouse, but I do understand the pain of losing a love you so desperately want.”