Lean on Me

by Claudia Hall Christian

  “I think that I want to get married? To have a husband? And a bunch of babies? Big ceremony, white dress, lace christening outfit, very Catholic.” Samantha turned her head to look at him, she added, “But I break out into hives at even the thought of living with someone. I like living alone. I haven’t been to Mass in… years.”

  “You know that I’m not Catholic.” His large hand reached for hers.

  She nodded and took his hand.

  “Can you be monogamous?” Samantha asked.

  “Yes. It’s not hard for me. I’ve been basically monogamous to women in each city. I don’t have an appetite for different women every night. I like to get to know a woman. I planned on being monogamous to you while I am here in Denver.”

  “But on the road? If you travel again?”

  “You travel a lot more than I do or will, Sami. What will you do?”

  “I… I don’t know,” she said.

  “So, what happens on the road stays on the road?” he asked. “What if….”

  “I don’t think I can do that. You?” Samantha shook her head.

  “All of this is new to me, Sami. I keep my word. If we decide something, I will keep that promise until we decide something else.”

  “I like that. We make a decision and keep our word until we make another decision. What if you get caught up in the moment?”

  “I’ve never been caught up in the moment,” Raz said. “Plus, I’ll travel with the team. After what happened with Troy, we have to clear people through security before we bring them around.”

  “You did that anyway,” Samantha said.

  “It was my rule: ‘Vet first; date later.’ What if you get caught up in the moment?”

  “I’ve never been caught up in the moment either,” Samantha smiled at him. “We are amazingly similar.”

  He nodded.

  “What about Alex?” Raz asked.

  “I love Alex. She’s wonderful, so funny, and great to be around. She’s my sister. And she’s so alien,” Samantha said. “I guess I’m not surprised that you guys have some weirdo relationship. I don’t understand it…”

  She fell silent for an agonizingly long time. She shrugged her shoulders.

  “But I don’t have to. I just want you to love me.”

  “Sami… I…”

  “I’d rather have sex with you,” Samantha said.

  He snorted a laugh.

  “What will Alex say if we…?”

  “She’ll be delighted,” he said. “She wants you to be happy. She knows how much I enjoy your company. She’ll probably work her magic so that everything lines up. That’s how she is.”

  “Would you want to have a baby?”

  “I’m not opposed to the idea, Sami. It surprises me that I’m not, but I’m not. I haven’t been since you first brought it up. I want us to make our own plan, our own decisions. If it’s just a baby, there are a million unloved babies in the world. If it’s our baby, then there are other challenges. But yes, I’d like to do that with you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “For being honest and clear. You’re a good friend. No matter what, you are a very good friend.”

  “Come back to bed, Sami. We can decide all of these things over time.”

  “I need to think,” Samantha said. “All of this… is new for me too. I need time to think.”

  “New?”

  “I usually run away,” Sami said. “Or dismiss. There are plenty of fish in the sea kind of thing. My dad told me once that when you find yourself standing in place, you know you’ve found something worth fighting for. But…”

  “But?”

  “I’m not as battle-hardened as he is. I need time to think,” Sami said. “Will you walk me home?”

  “Of course,” Raz said.

  She followed him upstairs, where she watched him dress. Her eyes settled on the surgical scars on his back. She remembered those scary days and nights when he was having surgery. No one knew if he’d walk again. She also remembered that he was with Alex when his back went out. He joked that it was “fairy luck” that he could walk. Her heart squeezed with jealousy. Her emotional war waged with such intensity that she didn’t see him until he held out a pair of her athletic shoes.

  “It’s cold tonight,” he said. “Maybe icy.”

  She looked at the shoes and then at him. Overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness, she nodded. She took off her precious Loboutin’s and put on her athletic shoes.

  “I hate you sometimes,” she said.

  “That’s all right,” Raz said. “We all hate change.”

  He was down the stairs before she could respond. Shaking her head, she followed him out of his carriage house.

  F

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Tuesday morning

  November 3 – 3:25 a.m. MST

  Denver, CO

  “I need to speak to you about something.”

  Troy’s voice broke the early morning quiet of Alex’s secure basement office. Bleary eyed, Alex looked up at him from the large journal she’d been writing in. Her computer monitor was the only light in the room.

  “What are you doing?” Troy asked.

  “I’m trying to think through what to do next,” Alex said. “Can you get the lights?”

  “Sure.” Troy flicked on the overhead lights. Alex blinked at him for a moment before he said, “I thought you liked to come up with it at the time.”

  “This is a little big for flying by the seat of our pants,” Alex smiled. “I received some intel yesterday from the spies next door. I need to think everything through to see where I want to focus.”

  “What do you mean?” Troy asked. He leaned against the door frame.

  “It’s been postulated that this entire debacle is related to the assault,” Alex shrugged her eyebrows at Troy’s silent surprise. “I was shocked too. The idea is that they knew that we could figure out what they’re doing and we could stop them.”

  “So they set about killing you first,” Troy said.

  “I’ve never been able to remember what the hell I was up to the last six months before everyone died,” Alex said. “Maybe I already figured it out.”

  “That makes a lot of sense.”

  “Mmmm,” Alex said. “I need some more time to think it through.

  “I wonder if Max could help,” Troy said.

  “I hadn’t thought of it, but that’s a good idea,” Alex said. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t get up to talk to me about this.”

  “No,” Troy said. “But I do need to get back to work.”

  “We need you to get back to work,” Alex said. “In fact, I have a project that could use you.”

  “Great,” Troy said. “I love your special projects. Does it involve killing someone?”

  “Not yet,” Alex smiled.

  When he fell silent, she raised her eyebrows in a silent question of “What?”

  “I need to know about the disposable phones,” Troy said.

  “The ones Joseph got for the team?”

  “For the Friendless,” Troy said.

  “Friendless?” Alex pursed her eyebrows in a look of doubt.

  “Listen, I know I’ve asked a lot from you,” Troy said. “I know I let that woman who tried to assassinate you into our home. I know that John had to deal with court and whatever for almost a year. I screwed up big time in training. No question. I know you didn’t have to stay with Dahlia today. I know you did it for me and the boys. I even know that I’m often a sucky friend.”

  Smiling, Alex nodded. He smiled at her agreement.

  “I buried Dahlia today,” he said. “She’s gone. Forever. Today. Please tell me what it is.”

  Alex fell silent for a moment before she nodded.

  “Ok,” Alex said. “But can I make coffee while I talk?”

  “Sure,” Troy said. “Did you give Dahlia the phone?”

  “Yes,” Alex filled her water pitcher from the filter in the corner. “At the
party for your father.”

  “Before or after I locked her in the bathroom?”

  “Before,” Alex said. “I didn’t think she’d use it, but she left her first message while she was locked in that bathroom. Your mom said she was ‘different’ after we let her out. I think she felt hopeful. She followed through with every single instruction after that.”

  “Where did you get the phone?” Troy asked.

  “You mean literally?” Alex poured the water into her espresso maker. “I’d have to ask my Sergeant. He purchased a lot of disposable phones for the Fey Team and a second lot for this project.”

  “So it’s an Army thing.”

  “What’s an ‘Army thing’?” she turned on the espresso machine.

  “For the Friendless,” Troy said.

  “Oh no,” Alex took a pint of milk out of the refrigerator. “It’s not.”

  She opened the milk and smelled it. Her face became a mask of disgust.

  “I’ll get some,” Troy left the small office. She heard him run upstairs to the kitchen. He returned about the time the coffee was done.

  “Would you like some?” Alex asked.

  “Sure,” he said. “Are you stalling to think or because you’re not going to tell me?”

  “Think.”

  “And?”

  “I don’t see any harm in telling you,” Alex said. “But you must promise never to tell anyone else. Secrecy is the key to making this project work.”

  Troy nodded. Alex steamed the milk and made Troy a latte. She gave him the cup and a can of hot chocolate mix. He liberally altered his coffee. She took a sip of her macchiato and then nodded toward the armchairs near the far end of her office. He sat down and she closed the door.

  “You remember what happened to Erin?” Alex sat down in the matching arm chair.

  “Getting beaten up?” Troy asked. “I don’t think I’ll forget that anytime soon.”

  “After everything was over,” Alex said. “Erin went to Mom and suggested creating a kind of foundation. There are resources available for women who are abused – shelters, counseling – stuff like that. From Erin’s perspective, there wasn’t much difference between a controlling manipulative man and a controlling manipulative program. Even a well-intentioned program has a lot of rules. She felt that the only thing that would change women’s lives was to give them the resources so that they could climb out of their own hole. By requiring repayment, the women would feel like they had accomplished something. You know what? She was right.”

  “Your mom is in this?” Troy asked.

  “It’s Mom’s baby. It’s a family foundation run by our financial advisors,” Alex said. “It’s her war against the defamation of women. Mom told her golden child, Colin, of course. He told us and…”

  Alex shrugged.

  “Us?” Troy asked.

  “The core group is my family – Mom, Erin, Colin, Samantha, me, Max, Dad… Well, John and Raz too. Ben and… you know the crowd,” Alex nodded. “My family has money from my mom’s grandmother. We used that. Raz used some of his 9-11 money. Everyone else pitches in what they can. Sometimes, like with Cian and Eoin, or Ben, it’s not money.”

  “How does it work?” Troy asked.

  “You know how it works,” Alex said. “The woman makes a call and requests help. A contractor returns her call.”

  “How do you find the right people?” Troy asked. “The boys’ therapist is an angel.”

  “We have an angelic network,” Alex smiled. “Which is to say, Maria’s involved too.”

  “Can I get involved?” Troy asked.

  “I’ll ask,” Alex said. “You have to understand. This is small and fairly new. We started with a woman in Belfast. She went to nursing school and has paid almost all of the money back. When she’s finished paying, she’ll be able to get another woman involved. When you paid off Dahlia’s debt, she was able to offer a phone to another woman.”

  “How many women total?” Troy asked.

  “Six? Maybe seven?”

  “Does it work?”

  “It has worked so far,” Alex said. “I’m sure we’ll get burned at some point. We haven’t so far. Our financial advisors are thrilled.”

  “Why would they be thrilled?” Troy asked.

  “They feel good about doing something for the world,” Alex said. “Or that’s what I think. I guess it’s some kind of tax thing. You’d have to ask John. I don’t keep track of the money very well. Does that answer your question?”

  “I guess so,” Troy said. He was silent for a moment before he added, “Thank you for saving Dahlia and the boys.”

  “I’m glad it worked out,” Alex said. “She was a remarkable woman, very strong, very brave. I think her love for you gave her the strength to change her life.”

  Troy nodded to Alex and drank down his latte.

  “Are you all right?” Alex asked.

  “No,” Troy said. “I’m not all right. And I’m not going to be all right for a long time. I need to work, to get my mind off my sorrow, my self-loathing, and… I miss her. My friend Alex told me once that the only way to get through intense grief is to let time pass.”

  “You know Jennifer? Dean’s wife?” Alex asked.

  Troy nodded.

  “She’s a child therapist now,” Alex said.

  “She is?”

  “I know three kids and a baby,” Alex said. “She was almost done with her master’s degree when everyone was killed. She finished up a year or so ago. She’s done all her hours or whatever. Her specialty is traumatized kids. I thought she might be a good connection for you.”

  “Do I have to call a number on a disposable phone?”

  “No,” Alex laughed. “She’s coming over in a few hours to meet the boys anyway.”

  “Alex, I’m not ready…”

  “She’s dropping her older kids off to be watched by Fionn,” Alex said. “She has to work today and their school is out for fall break. Her sitter fell through. Fionn’s taking them to the Natural History Museum and maybe the zoo.”

  “Oh,” Troy said. “Okay.”

  “Fionn was planning on taking your kids too,” Alex said. “But only if you want him to. You’ve met Jennifer and Dean’s kids?”

  Troy nodded.

  “They’re nice kids,” Alex said. “I think it would be good for the boys to hang out with some older kids. In some ways, they are fragile and immature. In other ways, they’re mature beyond their years. Trauma does that.”

  Troy nodded.

  “You can work here so that they won’t be far. If something happens, you can always go get them. Cian wants his junior bakers to come to work for a few hours today too.”

  “They’re excited about baking.” Troy smiled and took a drink of his latte.

  “What?” Alex asked.

  “Fairy luck,” Troy said. “Thanks for being my friend.”

  Without saying another word, he set his cup down and went up the stairs. Alex sneered at his dirty glass. Two second later, he pounded back down the stairs. He picked up his dirty glass.

  “I heard your scowl,” he said and went upstairs.

  Alex turned to her computers. She peered at the scrolling stream of conversation between the spies next door. She shook her head. Digging under her desk, she pulled out her backpack and the Magic 8 Ball. She shook the ball and turned it over.

  Nothing.

  The black pigment had grown and now covered more area on the plastic window. She tried one more time and then tossed the ball into her backpack. She would have to trust herself and step into the fog. With a sigh, she closed up her office and went to wake Max.

  FFF

  Two and a half hours later

  Tuesday morning

  November 3 – 6:00 a.m. MST

  Buckley Air Force Base, Aurora, CO

  “Attention!” Sergeant Dusty called when Alex entered the room.

  Alex came to the front of the room where Joseph and Matthew waited for her.

 
; “At ease,” Alex said.

  She nodded to Sergeant Dusty and Royce. They began passing out manila envelopes with the team members; names on them.

  “Please take the packet with your name on it,” Alex said. “Don’t open them just yet.”

  Trece held his envelope in his hand as if to weigh it.

  “Reassignment,” Trece said in his exaggerated weeping voice. The team groaned at him. Margaret threw a wad of paper in his direction. It landed near MJ. He picked up the wad of paper and beaned Trece with it. Trece was about to throw it back when Alex cleared her throat.

  “Does everyone have one?” Alex asked.

  She looked around the room and then at Sergeant Dusty. He nodded.

  “You are being returned to your primary base assignments,” Matthew said. “White Boy, you’re assigned to guard Leena. Trece, you’re assigned to the Lieutenant Colonel.”

  Stunned silence fell over the room. Alex looked from one face marked with outrage to another brow marked with betrayal.

  “We are not releasing you from your contracts,” Alex said. “We are asking you to represent the Fey team to the men and women on your bases.”

  “Oh thank God,” Trece said. The team laughed with relief.

  “Friendships are the most unpredictable human force in the world,” Alex said. “We usually depend on our systems and usually our systems are reliable. They are not now. We need to lean on our friends now.”

  “What friends?” Trece said. “You?”

  Still a little giddy, the team laughed. Alex smiled.

  “Anyone can track the teams you were on and the people you served with, but no one can track who you know,” Matthew said. “We are asking you to mine this resource.”

  “We need to find the ships, planes, and people who took these teams to their locations,” Alex said. “We were informed that our usual direct method of contact, the Map Phone, has been corrupted. We’ve set up secure connections and secure servers to handle the phone calls as well as all of our computer connections.”

  “You should not notice the technology shift,” Raz said. “From this point forward, we are disconnected from the global intelligence network. Dusty?”

  “In your packets, you will find your new logins and passwords,” Sergeant Dusty said. “Some of us are not great at fulfilling our requirement to change passwords every month. After your initial login, a new password will be automatically generated for you. You’ll receive a text to your disposable phone with the password. It should look like four random words with a couple numbers. You will receive one text with a new password every day. If you lose your password for the day, you will not be able to login until the next day.”