Transcending Regrets (No Regrets book 3)

by Noalane, Aimee

  “Why do I have feeling that there’s more to this story than you’re actually saying?”

  I sighed. “Because she also might have stomped on my stomach. My memory is kind of sketchy.”

  “I don’t get it. Were you or were you not stomped on the stomach?”

  “I was. I was just really out of it when it happened. The blow is the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital four days later. But I can’t tell if she’s the one that did it or the man that was with her.”

  “Her boyfriend?”

  “Yes, her boyfriend.”

  “So what did he do? Just stand there and do nothing?”

  “Basically, yeah.” I answered, hoping to skitter the subject. “Like I said, everything is pretty fuzzy. The problem is that I can’t really tell what’s real anymore. It’s as if I’m having issues knowing the difference between the facts and my imagination.”

  “I think that’s understandable.”

  “How would you know? Do you have a medical degree or something?” I teased.

  “No.” He smiled. “Far from it, but I am sorry about what happened to you, Abby.”

  “Thank you, but do you know what would help?”

  “Changing the subject?”

  “I was going to say turning back time,” I joked. “But yeah that would help too.”

  “Trust me, if I had the power to turn back time I would change a whole lot of things. Unfortunately, I can’t. So I guess all I can do now is to follow the destiny that has been settled for me.”

  I answered him with a tight smile. Destiny was not a subject I wanted to tackle.

  “So tell me, what is it that you do, Abby?”

  “I’m a social worker.”

  “Really?” He looked surprised, and something in the way he responded rubbed me the wrong way.

  “Yeah, really.”

  “I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just…I guess I wasn’t expecting that kind of answer, that’s all.”

  “Why not? Do you have something against social workers?” I asked, wondering if the comment was made to be an insult.

  He shrugged off my question with a smile, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Whatever, dude. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.”

  “Oh come on! I bet even you don’t follow that reasoning.”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Right. So you’re telling me that you would have pinned me for a lawyer?”

  “When I saw you at first in your suit, maybe, but to be honest, when you stripped for me––”

  “I did not strip for you,” he exclaimed.

  “Dude, you basically just took off your shirt for me to watch. If you would’ve wanted to be discreet about it, you should’ve gone to the bathroom and changed.”

  “I didn’t have time for that, the plane was about to take off. Besides, the flight attendant kept shooting me a death stare.”

  “Well, you were late,” I pointed out

  “Not you too!”

  I chortled.

  “So, tell me, what were you going to say about my very public striptease?”

  “I highly suggest that you don’t quit your day job,” I mocked.

  He smiled. He was so sexy and by the way he looked at me, it was like he could tell what was going through my mind.

  “Yeah, so,” I coughed. “What I really wanted to say was that I kind of got thrown off guard by your tattoos.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrow at me. “What’s that supposed to mean? Lawyers can’t have tattoos? That alone is a pretty big stereotype. I thought you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.”

  A wide grin spread across my face. “So, you really are a lawyer then, huh?”

  He nodded.

  “Well, lawyer or not, that ink is fucking hot. And trust me; I learned a long time ago that I shouldn’t make assumptions about anything or anyone that crosses my path in life. When I want to know something, I ask.”

  “Well, Abby,” he replied. He seemed unusually pleased by my answer. “The person that taught you that lesson must have been a very wise person.”

  I smiled grimly as I remembered what had happened the last time I’d seen that person. “Actually, I think the best way to describe my friend Damian, would be wise, cocky, and stupid.”

  “Well, better that than being weird, naïve, and stupid,” he fired back.

  My eyes opened wide, shocked by his reply. “You know what? You seemed a lot nicer when I was ogling you in silence.”

  A sexy chuckle escaped him and he lowered his laptop screen. “Finally she admits to the gawking. Don’t you feel better now that you told the truth?”

  I just shook my head smiling. The guy was making me feel like a giddy seventeen-year-old all over again.

  “So,” he continued, “I was thinking about what you asked me earlier. The answer is maybe, I don’t know.”

  I puckered my brow; I had no clue what he was talking about.

  “Your first question. You asked me if I have ever been in love.”

  Oh that.

  “You don’t know if you’ve ever been in love? That’s kind of sad.”

  He shrugged. “Is it? Tell me, how does one know?”

  “How does one know what?”

  “If he or she has ever been in love before?”

  “Well first off, when you’re in love, your heart races at the sight of said person.”

  “Your heart can race for many reasons, Abby.”

  “True,” I answered as if I was the new found expert on love. “But when you’re in love, I don’t know…it’s like you can’t have enough. The kissing, the touching, the desire, the feel…you always want more.”

  “Is it me, or are you describing love as an addiction rather than an emotion?” A proud sarcastic smile appeared on his handsome face as my surprised gaze turned to his. “I mean, surely a girl like you knows that you can have all of that without being in love.”

  Of course I know. I thrive on the feeling.

  “A girl like me?” I questioned.

  He nodded, resting his hand high up over my knee. As he realized that I wasn’t going to stop him from touching me, his hand trailed higher and rubbed the inside of my thigh. His touch sent waves of addictive pleasure throughout my blood vessels. Lost to the sensation of his fingers as they dug into my clothed skin, I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip. My seat dipped when he leaned in closer to me. I could feel the heat of his warm breath against my skin, and a soft moan escaped me. Not knowing what I wanted anymore made my head spin. Something deep inside me was screaming at him, telling him to stop, but the other side of me was urging him to continue. I was confused about what was going on. I was confused with myself, and when I opened my eyes, his lustful gaze was taunting me.

  Why can’t I figure out what it is about you that feels so familiar?

  I looked down, and then back up. Without giving me any time to decide what I wanted, he took my lips into a feverish kiss, swallowing up all my desires to make him stop.

  “Fuck,” he whispered as he pulled away.

  Holy fuck is more accurate.

  What the hell was that?

  “I—I.”

  My heart raced unsteadily.

  “I need to—um—use the restroom.” I managed to whisper.

  Curiously proud of my confused state, he lifted his hand off my thigh and grinned wickedly at me. He let me stand, but the rocking plane wasn’t really helping. So as I tried to step away from my seat, his hands went around my waist to steady me until I was stable enough not to fall. My body quivered at the familiarity of his touch.

  “Abbygail,” he called when I finally made my way up to the restrooms in the back of the plane.

  At the sound of his voice my eyes grew wide and the hair on the back of my neck rose, prickling my skin. Fear overcame me as he called me by my real name. I came to a complete halt, and turned around to see his blue eyes watching me.

  “Some thin
gs never do change, do they Little Bird?”

  I paled as his eyes bore into mine. When I managed to finally tear my gaze away from his, I ran up to the nearest bathroom, and emptied the entire contents of my stomach. When I came back, Damian had vanished, and a simple small note lay on my seat.

  Abby: Have you ever been in love?

  Damian: Yes. Her name was Little Bird and I ruined her.

  Chapter 2

  Abbygail

  There is nothing more soothing than the comforting coolness of a toilet bowl after puking your guts. At first, your face burns like it’s literally on fire, so you just lay your head there hoping the heat will die down. It will take about five minutes before the chills start running up and down your spine, and then your entire body feels like it has to recover from an unexplained case of hypothermia. To be honest, I think I hated the moment where my body temperature dropped instantly, more than puking my guts.

  The light knock at the door startled me, but I didn’t bother getting up to answer it, nor did I even bother lifting my face. A pessimistic groan escaped me as my boiling head hugged the toilet seat; I hated knowing what was going to happen next.

  “Hey.” Kylie whispered walking inside. She was carrying a glass of water and some pills that she set down on the bathroom counter for me. I tried to smile at the friendly gesture, but even that was too hard. “I saw you run to the bathroom when the guys came in with the pizza. Are you okay?”

  The simple sound of the word pizza made me pull the seat back up and puke all over again.

  Well, at least it’ll be another five minutes before I get cold now…

  While flushing the contents of my stomach away, I saw the goosebumps on my skin appear. The small hairs on my arms started to rise, and cold shivers ran through me.

  “This is so disgusting,” I managed to mumble after lifting myself up to sit on the side of the bathtub. After hurling my entire digestive system, I was completely drained. “I’m sorry.”

  As if the state I was in was my fault, Kylie’s lips pursed and she shook her head at me. “I really wish you would just go see a doctor, Abby,” she criticized. “You’ve been sick ever since you came back from B.C.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “No, you are not fine. It’s been three weeks already.” She sighed and shook her head again. “I’m really worried about you, babe.”

  I ignored her. First, because I truly didn’t have enough physical or mental strength to argue with her, but it was mostly because I didn’t care that my body was wasting away.

  “Fine,” she huffed. She crossed her arms over her chest, irritated with my lack of response. “If you’re just going to ignore me––”

  “I am.”

  Her dark brown eyes met mine and she exhaled angrily. “Do you need anything before I go back downstairs?”

  “A root beer slushy,” I replied standing up to the sink. I washed my face while she scrutinized me through the mirror.

  “But it’s the end of January.”

  “And?”

  “And minus twenty-five degrees outside.”

  I rolled my eyes at her, she clearly didn’t understand...

  “So this isn’t a joke?” she asked.

  “No, Ky, it’s not a joke. In fact, it’s the only thing I’ve been able to hold down in weeks. If you don’t want to go because it’s too cold out, you can ask Stephan or Ty. Tell them they can go to the gas station at the end of the street, they have frozen drinks all year long now.”

  ***

  Kylie reappeared in my room about half an hour later with my root beer slushy in her hand and Zoey standing half-way behind her. She looked absolutely beautiful dressed in her jumper suit. Her stomach had grown so much since the last time I’d seen her, I still couldn’t believe that in less than three months she was going to be a mother.

  “Thank you,” I said to Kylie, grabbing the cold glass from her hands. After taking my first sip, the refreshing sweet taste made its way down my throat. I couldn’t have stopped the satisfying moan escaping me if I wanted to.

  “You have got to be the weirdest person ever,” Kylie remarked.

  I ignored her response and tilted my head to the right, frowning at my childhood friend and her curious behavior. “So Zo, I was thinking, when you’re done shielding yourself with Kylie, do you think you’ll be telling me what’s in the bag you’re trying to hide behind your back?”

  She sighed and took a hesitant step forward. “It’s a gift…”

  I looked up at her surprised by the unexpected gesture.

  “Kind of.”

  My brows furrowed together. “Okay.”

  “It’s something for you to use tomorrow morning,” Kylie clarified to the confused expression on my face, but her explanation wasn’t worth squat and I ended up scowling her cryptic answer.

  “Can I at least open it now?”

  “I’d rather you wait until I’m gone,” Zoey answered frankly. “This way I won’t be there when you decide that you want to chew my head off.”

  “Why would I want to chew your head off? Stop acting weird and give me the bag, Zo.”

  “Fine,” she breathed out, “but only if you agree to keep an open mind about what’s in it.”

  “I’m an open minded person.” I extended my hand, and both girls raised their eyebrows, challenging me. “Okaayyy. God, you two are annoying.” I grabbed the bag, but was surprised to see that it weighed nearly nothing. “What is it?”

  “Open it,” Kylie answered.

  I unfolded the bag and glanced inside. Pressing my lips firmly together, I lifted my mortified eyes and glared at both girls who were observing me expectantly. “NO.”

  “Abby––”

  I took a step forward, towards my very pregnant friend, and harshly shoved the paper bag back into her hands.

  “I said: No.”

  Fucking hell.

  Chapter 3

  Oliver

  Four-and-a-half months later

  The thought of Abby asking me to let her go had once again made me shake my head at myself as I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I still couldn’t believe that I’d listened to her and let her leave.

  What a fucking idiot.

  When I was younger, I’d sometimes eavesdrop on my parents talking to old friends, and listened as they complained about how time flew by too fast. Whoever invented that saying clearly hadn’t fucked up and withheld themselves from the person they loved, for months at a time.

  Time doesn’t fly by. Time lingers and drags on until you’re unable to stand yourself.

  A light cough surprised me from behind, and I turned to see Laney staring at me as she leaned on the bathroom doorway. She and I really needed to have a serious discussion about boundaries. I was so glad I had a towel wrapped around my waist; I wasn’t expecting her to be home for at least another half-hour.

  I stopped paying attention to her and looked back at my reflection. I couldn’t help rubbing the orchid tattooed over my heart, my chest hurt at the pain it inflicted.

  “Oh for fuck’s sakes, just call her, already.”

  “No,” I grumbled, spitting the foamy toothpaste in the sink.

  “Why the hell not?”

  “Because.”

  “Because what?”

  “Because I said so.” I rinsed my toothbrush and dropped it in the cup on the counter. This was a conversation she and I would have every other morning since we’d moved into our condo together.

  Three weeks. That’s all it took for me to decide that I wanted to leave B.C. for good. Regardless of what had happened between Abby and me, I couldn’t stay there anymore, so I asked for a transfer from B.C. to Ontario’s CPS. It took months before a position was made available for me, but as soon as they offered the job, I took it. I picked up my dog, my belongings, and moved to Ottawa. During the months I had to wait for the job opportunity, my Uncle Jerry had to admit to the bogus offer I got on my mother’s house back in December. To say I was pissed
was an understatement, but it explained the very reason why I hadn’t called Aunt Jen when I moved back. Well, that and the fact that I was afraid to confront her daughter.

  Under my uncle’s advisement, I decided not to sell my mother’s house. Jerry argued that renting it could be an excellent source of revenue, and a back-up plan, in case I wanted to move back. I had no intention of returning to Vancouver. It was good while it lasted, but it was time for me to come back home.

  A few weeks after moving in, I came back from work to see my heartbroken best friend standing at my door and asking to move in. We were horrible roommates, yet I couldn’t have made it without her. While she’d harass me about calling Abby, I would badger her about finding out why she and Justin split. Evidently, neither one of us were getting anywhere with our questions, but our arrangement suited us just fine. I had a free room for her, and she helped pay the bills. We made each other’s lives a living hell, and the company we kept made our pathetic lives bearable.

  “Because I said so, isn’t a valid answer, Oliver.”

  I turned to face her. “For me it is. Drop the subject, Lane. You’re being a pain in the ass about this, and if you don’t stop I’ll kick your ass out of my apartment. Can you please get it through you thick skull that calling Abbygail is just not going to happen.”

  “Wow, someone’s in a bad mood this morning,” she bit back. “Maybe you should find someone and get laid. God knows that works for every other horny asshole I know.”

  I shot her a spiteful glare.

  “Fine,” she surrendered once again. We both knew we would be having the conversation very soon, but at least for the time being she would shut up about it. “Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

  “Yup,” I kissed her cheek as I passed by her to step out. “I’ll meet you at The King’s Pub around seven. I’ve got to get going or I’ll be late again. Try to get some rest today, Lane, you look like shit.”

  ***

  I walked into Corner’s Coffee like I did every day for the past month I had been living downtown. Every morning the fiery pink haired barista greeted me with her warm smile. She made sure she was the one taking my order, and always remembered how I liked my coffee. Over time, my five minute coffee stop turned into a half-hour talk with her. She always had something interesting to say.