Transcending Regrets (No Regrets book 3)

by Noalane, Aimee

“Don’t do this,” she whispered. “Please?”

  “I need you Abby, you’re more than my best friend. You’re my forever.”

  “I’m sorry,” she repeated. Her crystal blue eyes swam in tears, and she wiped them off angrily. I didn’t understand…“I’m not your forever, Oliver. I will never be your forever, because forever doesn’t exist.”

  My feet stood nailed to the ground. I was unable to think, I was unable to talk. I just watched as she climbed inside her car and drove away without looking back.

  Chapter 35

  Abbygail

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Stephan shouted at me through the phone.

  “Do you really believe that yelling at me is helping right now?

  “I truly don’t care what you think is helping you or not, Abbygail. For fuck sakes, you’re going to lose him.”

  Silent tears ran down my cheeks. Nothing of what Stephan had said since I parked my car on the curb of the football field was a surprise. I called him believing he’d understand, it turned out he just got furious with me.

  “I called you because I wanted you to help me, Stephan, not shout at me.”

  “Help you?” he bellowed. “Help you do what? Because between you and me, we both know that there is nothing I can say that will make you see that you’re wrong.”

  “That’s because I’m not. You don’t unders––”

  “Do you know what’s worse than your lack of communication skills? It’s your inability to realize that you are surrounded by people that love you more than life. It’s that you are incapable of realizing that everyone around you will do anything for you. It’s a shame that you refuse to do the same for them.”

  “Fuck you,” I spat. “You know that’s not true.”

  “Can you not hear the sound of your voice, Abbygail? Can you not feel the tears pooling out of your eyes? I’m not even with you and I know they’re streaming down your face. Get a clue, babe, you love him. Stop being an ass. Stop being scared, and tell him.”

  “I––”

  “We’re done here.”

  My phone hit the front dash a little too loudly after he hung up on me. I stepped out of the car and slammed the door angrily. Everything felt like it was falling apart, and as I made my way to look for Millie, all I could think about was how the last place I wanted was to be on the field. I wanted to be home, buried under my covers and crying my life away.

  “Do you know what I don’t get?” Millie asked coldly, as I slowly walked towards her sitting on the bleachers. It was a dark night; the stars were all hidden behind the shadowy clouds, and the lights that normally lit up the field were completely shut off. If it weren’t for the glow of her lit cigarette, I wouldn’t even have known she was there. “What is it about you that people like so much?”

  What?

  “I mean,” she continued, “I’m his sister. You’d think that would make a fucking difference, right?”

  I made it to the bench where she was sitting, and Millie looked up to me. Her face was bruised, her mascara was running, and her hair was completely messy. As she uncrossed her legs, I noticed the half empty liquor bottle sitting beside her.

  “Millie, hon, come on, let’s get you somewhere safe.”

  She smiled at me and shook her head. “No thank you. But I’d really like it if you’d sit with me for a while.”

  I raised my eyebrow unsurely.

  “I promise I won’t bite.”

  I assessed the situation. I didn’t feel safe, but I also didn’t feel like leaving her alone, especially in the state she was in, so I took a seat to her right.

  “A year,” she said to me. “An entire year, seeing me almost every day, and not once did you intercept me and ask me if I was okay.”

  I sighed.

  “I mean you’re a social worker, Ms. Evens. Isn’t that your job?”

  “It is my job, Millie, but if you aren’t willing to open up, or ask for help––”

  “In all the days where you crossed my path,” she interrupted, “was there even one moment where you stopped and ask yourself if you knew me? Because to be honest, I recognized you immediately.”

  I closed my eyes and saw the blond little girl staring at me when I came out of the bathroom that morning. I remembered thinking that she was so pretty, and wished I could have beautiful blond hair like hers. She had a bruised cheek and I could tell that she had been crying a whole lot. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but then Damian called me and I lost my train of thought. I stretched out, pulled a strand of hair away from her face and she smiled until I disappeared inside his room.

  It was the first time I had seen another person in Damian’s house, and I wanted to ask him about it, but his lingering lustful stare fell on my body when I walked back inside his bedroom, and I completely forgot about the little girl.

  “Do you really not remember me, Ms. Evens?”

  I didn’t even know what to answer. Everything I could say felt wrong because if it weren’t for Oliver’s conversation with Damian, I never would have figured it out.

  She sniggered. “My brother would never leave me alone with my father. He was always afraid of the moment when my dad would get impatient or mad at me. So every time my father raised his hand in anger, Damian would take the hit for me. . He protected me…at all cost. You have no idea of the physical pain he was put through.”

  She was wrong, I knew. I knew all too well because even in the short period of time we were together, I saw the bruises on his body. I touched the scars and the burn marks on his skin.

  “I’ve seen him patch himself up more times than I could count because of me,” she continued. “Yet every time, he’d just look at me and say: ‘that’s what big brothers are for, Millie.’”

  The pain that man had inflicted on his own children made my eyes sting. I hated him.

  “When he started hanging out with you, he wasn’t as present for me as he used to be. It was okay most of the time, I mean I stayed at my mom’s usually. Except for that day...my mom had to go to work out of town, so she dropped me on their doorstep.”

  She stopped talking and took a swing at the half-empty bottle, smiling bitterly at me.

  “Damian wasn’t home, and my father wasn’t expecting me so he was completely wasted when I walked in. I have no idea what he was on, but it didn’t matter because for the first time in our entire lives, my father was kind to me. Before that night, he’d never been affectionate with either one of us, so instead of leaving like I should have, I carelessly enjoyed and cherished the moment. But after a few hours, I don’t know… it was like his fix was dying or something. I made one mistake.” She sniggered, “I thoughtlessly asked one question about my brother, and that one thing is what set him off.”

  She rubbed the side of her face as if she could still feel the sting he inflicted. Tears ran down my cheeks, and she frowned at my reaction.

  “Millie––”

  “I didn’t expect the hit,” she interrupted. “I tried to call Damian after it happened, but he never answered. I took care of my bruise as best as I could, and hid inside my bedroom closet until I saw the morning’s sun come out. That’s when I first saw you. At first, I felt so much hatred towards you because well––my brother was with you instead of at home protecting me like he was supposed to do. But when you saw me, you smiled. You weren’t mocking me; you were just genuinely kind.”

  Her eyebrows knitted together as if she was still surprised by our first encounter.

  “The first time Damian spoke to me about you,” she continued, shaking off the memory. “I remember him being happy for the first time ever, and the way you looked at me, your clear blue eyes…I could totally understand why he liked you so much. Somehow everything I had lived through in the previous twenty-four hours didn’t matter to me anymore, because you were by my brother’s side. I forgave him for not being there, and I forgave you.”

  “I’m so sorry, Millie. I didn’t know. I was high, I swear.”


  “A week later, my brother called me from the child care center or kiddy prison like I call it, and told me he had to go away for a while. I knew he was worried about what would happen to me, but I promised him that I would stay with my mom and I wouldn’t see our dad anymore.” She looked at me. “How long do you think an eleven-year-old can beg her mother not to bring her to her father’s house before the father decides to show up on her doorstep requesting not only an explanation, but claiming his rights as a dad?”

  I pinched my lips. My response would have been that the mother should have called the police, but I figured keeping my mouth shut would be best.

  “I’ll save you the trouble of figuring it out,” she answered. “Three months. That’s how long it took for my dad to decide he cared about me and showed up at my mom’s house. Five months. That’s how much time it took him before he lost his patience and hit me once again.”

  I winced. “I’m so, so, sorry.”

  “So, as I’m sitting here waiting for you, I just keep going back to that day and asking myself: What is it about Abbygail Evens that my own brother can just decide to pick up and leave me behind without ever coming back for six years? How was it that I managed to forgive a girl I never saw before just by looking into her eyes? But most of all, how is it that when my brother finally comes home, she is still in the picture?”

  “Millie––” I replied about to stand up, but as I did, I felt something poke me. .

  “Is it his baby?” she asked curiously.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Shame,” she replied. “It would have been a good reason to let you go.”

  I frowned and looked down at the nine millimeter Glock pointed at my stomach.

  “Sit back down. We’re not done talking yet.”

  “Millie, why are we here?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know really. He gave me the gun, told me to get you here; so here we are.”

  “Who’s he?”

  She rolled her yes. “Seriously? You can’t possibly be that daft. My father, Abbygail.”

  “Why? What does your father want with me?”

  “Revenge is my best guess.”

  “Revenge for what?”

  “Jeez you’re dumb!” she retorted.

  When she met my oblivious eyes, she clearly saw that I had no idea what she was talking about. There was no hiding the fact that Harrison despised me. The hatred definitely went both ways, but having me killed?

  “Okay, since you seem so completely clueless, let me spell it out for you. You fucked Damian. Then you fucked with Damian’s head. Then Damian fucks up because of you, and leaves town. Guess who’s stuck with money issues and no one to deal his drugs? Now…of course he was pissed at the time, but because of the drugs Damian had on him when he got caught, he had to be vigilant, so––”

  “You do know that your father tried to cause me to overdose, right?”

  “It wouldn’t be the first time he tried to pull off some shit like that, so I’m sorry if I’m not surprised. I told you he doesn’t like you. Plus, he’s crazy.”

  Insane is more like it, but whatever.

  “Anyway, I came into the picture when he ran out of money. Five months,” she winked. “Remember?”

  I nodded.

  “After constantly beating the shit out of me, my father, being the brilliant man that he is, came up with this bright idea that basically saved my life. No one would ever suspect a twelve-year-old girl distributing drugs, right?” She took another drink out of her bottle. “So as long as I did as I was told, I got spared from his anger, and he forgot about you…sort of. But then––you stupid woman––you pop into his life again. Remember Cole? Of course you do. I mean why can you not keep yourself out of everyone’s business?” she asked waving her gun in the air.

  “He was my neighbor, I’ve known him forever.”

  “Cole was sweet,” she admitted with a sad smile. “I liked him…a lot. Why did you have to get into their business, Abby?”

  “Cole was in trouble, Millie. Your dad hurt him. It was my job to protect him.”

  She snickered. “So to answer your question Abbygail, you’re here because my dad wants you here. I don’t know what he wants with you and truthfully, I know him, you know him, and we both know he’s a tad crazy. So…”

  I started to get up, but sat back down after hearing the chamber click. “Sit. I want you to enlighten me about your history with my brother.”

  “What do you want me to say, Millie?” I panicked. “He left.”

  “Because of you.”

  “Have you even had a conversation with your brother about this? He didn’t leave because of me.”

  “You almost died. He felt guilty.”

  “He left because he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t want to go to jail. If you want to blame anyone, blame your dad.”

  “Oh trust me, I do.”

  “Millie, has it ever occurred to you that your brother just wanted out for himself? Have you ever thought that maybe your father might have threatened him if he came back for you? That if your father found out that Damian showed up in Carrington, he’d hurt you? If your brother loved you and protected you for twelve years why would the last six be any different? He stayed away because he had no other choice. He stayed away until he knew that he could do something about your safety.”

  Millie stood from her spot and hit me on the side of the head with her gun, fortunately she didn’t have enough strength to hurt me as much as she expected it to. “Shut-up.”

  “Millie,” I groaned. “Think about it, just for a minute.”

  Her hand was back in the air and I flinched. Fearing her next hit, I turned my head and saw a familiar silhouette hidden in the shadows.

  Chapter 36

  Oliver

  “What do you want, Stephan?” I growled, answering my phone. It was the third time he’d called me in ten minutes. Every time I just glanced at it and let it go to voicemail. The problem was that the rattling sound my cell made as it vibrated against the cup-holder was driving me insane. I knew why he was calling me. In fact, it wasn’t even a surprise. She trusted Stephan, she trusted him more than me because he never broke her heart.

  “Where are you?”

  “On the 61. What do you want?”

  “Turn around.”

  “What? Fuck no. I’m done, Steph. She’s made herself––”

  “Damian showed up at the bar ten minutes ago looking for Abby. He tried calling her and she won’t answer. He thinks she’s in danger. Stop your fucking pick-up, and turn around.”

  I stomped on my breaks, making my tires screech and it glided against the wet pavement until it came to a complete stop. My truck sat in the middle of the road making the cars behind me swerve and honk angrily at me. “What did he say exactly?”

  “He said he thinks something is up with his sister.”

  “Yeah, she called Abby asking to meet her tonight.”

  “Do you know where they met?”

  “No, but I can find out.” I scrolled through my apps; Abby was going to kill me once she found out that I pinged her phone. “According to the GPS she’s near the school. I’m about fifteen minutes out, call Ty. I’ll meet you there.”

  Abbygail

  “Millie, that’s enough,” Damian growled.

  I could see the fight she was having with herself at the sound of her brother’s voice. She stood immobile with her arm still in the air until Damian was close enough to take the gun away from her hand. When he took it away, she sighed in relief.

  “I asked you to stay away,” he muttered to me. He grabbed his cell phone and started texting. “Do you ever listen to people when they ask you to do something?”

  “I wasn’t just going to ignore her, Damian,” I snapped.

  “Hey, I’m not a charity––”

  “Well, well, well.” We heard behind us. We all turned and saw Harrison clapping his hands in delight as he made his way towards us. “Isn’t this ju
st a perfect reunion?”

  “It took you long enough,” Millie grumbled to her father. My eyes crossed Damian’s. Clearly he wasn’t expecting his father so soon because he looked just as nervous as I was.

  “I had shit to figure out,” he gritted through his teeth. He frowned as he observed Damian and me. “Unfortunately for me, it seems as though I haven’t foreseen this surprise.”

  “Whatever. Can I just go now?” she begged.

  “Of course. You’ve served your purpose. Damian,” he snarled. “Get your sister out of here.”

  “No. I’m not leaving.” He pulled on my arm, jerking my body backwards.

  His father smiled evilly at us. “Suit yourself. You can watch, for all I care. Take her to the van.”

  “We’re not going anywhere either.”

  A shudder ran down my spine as Harrison’s sight landed on Damian’s hand around my wrist. He cocked his head to the side and it seemed as though he was trying to figure out exactly what was going on. Fortunately for me his focus seemed to be more preoccupied by his son.

  “Millie, you need to leave,” Damian ordered. I had completely forgotten that she was still there. She shot him a nervous look, but backed away quickly, following her brother’s order. Unluckily for us Harrison took the opportunity of Damian’s distraction to advance towards us.

  “Um, Damian?” I whispered nervously.

  When he looked at me he realized his father was too close. Frozen in place, I felt like I’d completely lost him. By the time he reacted it was already too late. Harrison took the gun out of Damian’s hand and knocked him in between his shoulder blades. It all happened fast and when Damian crumbled to the ground, I stupidly followed him.

  “Run,” he barked, but Harrison had already grabbed me by the hair. His tight hold made it impossible to flee, so I had no other choice but to crawl in his direction.

  “Stupid kid,” he muttered. “You must have been a pretty good fuck for him to want to defend you like that.”

  “I am,” I spat, trying to pull away. “And apparently I suck dick like a fucking champ too.”