Darkest Before Dawn: A Muse Urban Fantasy (The Veil Series Book 3)

by DaCosta, Pippa

  Let me out. Let me play. This heat is nothing. We hunger. We devour. We destroy.

  I gritted my teeth and gave her the mental equivalent of a shove. Back off, bitch. I’m in charge. She snarled. I snarled. Before I could further entertain arguing with myself, I stepped into the wall of heat and drew it into my flesh with an inward breath. Once more, it came easily, eager to join the bubbling chaos simmering inside me. With the heat gone, Dawn followed in my footsteps, silent and calm. I sensed Akil’s unique elemental touch slithering around my ankles. It was weak, though. My demon purred. I licked my dry lips. Yes, we would like for Akil to be here. A snarl crawled across my top lip.

  “Muse?”

  Dawn’s quiet voice cooled the lust burning through me. I glanced back at her. So small. So fragile. So freakin’ powerful she could unravel my DNA if I pissed her off. “It’s okay.” I mustered a smile. “I think Akil is here. Do you sense him?”

  She nodded, big human eyes widening. Killers shouldn’t look like little girls. Was it wrong that I could look her in the eyes and feel sorry for her while also fearing her? She was terror, camouflaged in the body of a nine year old. What must she be thinking? How would her young mind process what she’d done? Did she care?

  After entering Blackstone with the hidden key, I followed the beckon of Akil’s element and came to an abrupt halt in the lounge doorway. Dawn peeked from behind my leg and sucked in a tight yelp.

  Mammon lay sprawled in front of a cold fireplace, wings draped over him like a black sheet over a corpse. The marble floor had cracked beneath him, likely from heat stress. The walls around the room bore the scars of an inferno. The ceiling had a layer of soot so thick it looked like the night sky. I could only assume the fragments of fabric and metal scattered here and there were the immolated remains of the furniture.

  “Is he alive?” Dawn whispered.

  “Yes.” The sound of his bellows breathing confirmed it, but the lava veins tracing across his skin barely glowed. I inched closer when Dawn’s hand on mine stopped me.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I don’t think he’ll hurt me.” I would have welcomed my demon, but the symbols etched into the construction of Blackstone held her back. Sneaking up on an unconscious Prince of Hell while wrapped in my fragile humanity wasn’t the best idea I’d had all day. One swipe of his hand could cave in my skull. “Dawn, it might be best if you went to your room. Do you remember where it is?”

  She nodded and hurried out of the room. Only once she was safely out of earshot, did I turn back to the Prince of Greed.

  “Mammon...” I whispered.

  Seeing him sprawled in front of the fireplace seemed deeply wrong, like birds on the ground or rivers flowing upstream. Mammon had always been a force of nature, a natural disaster that threatened with his mere presence. To see him face down on the floor and vulnerable disturbed both halves of me on a deeply primal level.

  With heavy steps, I shirked around his wing tip and traced my gaze across his muscular shoulder, over his bicep, his forearm, hand... and flicked it to his open eyes. Dead eyes. Black. Empty.

  My breath caught, and my heart fluttered. What was wrong with him? How long had he been like this? Who could have hurt him? “Mammon?” I inched closer and crouched on my heels beside his hand. The heat rolling off him should have been unbearable, but I felt his power as little more than the warmth of the sun on a summer’s day. “Akil?”

  His black eyes blinked and widened. He snorted air, breathing it into him. The entire musculature of his body quivered. I had a moment to realize I should get out of his way, when he lunged with alarming speed. I sprang back, stumbled, and fell on my ass with a grunt. Mammon knocked me flat on my back. He braced powerful arms either side of my head. Rigid thighs fenced me in, and his vast obsidian body arched over me, muscles rippling, but he didn’t touch me. Jesus, I’d never been so close to him while so completely human before. My head swirled, eyes stinging. Tears slipped over my lashes and dried on my cheeks. His gaze pulled me in while at the same time repelling me, urging me to look away.

  Mammon bowed his head and inhaled at my neck. My skin briefly cooled as he drew the hot air into his lungs, but the heat quickly returned when he sighed the breath out again. His vast wings settled either side of us. I struggled to swallow, my mouth as dry as sandpaper while my throat burned. If he fell on me, he could easily crush me and would most certainly burn me.

  I gave my demon a mental tug, but she butted up against invisible barriers. A ripple of power spilled through me, just enough that it no longer hurt to see him, and a violent tremor shocked through his body. He snarled. Black lips undulated over fangs the size of my fingers. I told myself if he were going to kill me, he’d have done it already. And then it occurred to me that killing might not be the first thing on his mind. I flicked my gaze down the crevice between our bodies. Oh shit.

  “Okay, big guy, I can’t summon my demon here, remember? I’m just little ol’ me, crunchy on the outside, chewy in the middle. Please don’t act on those thoughts in your head right now.” I’d have shoved him back if his skin wouldn’t have caused me third degree burns. I seized a breath of sweltering air and summoned some authority. After what I’d dealt with over the last hell-knows-how-long, I could sure as hell tame a sexed-up Mammon.

  “Mammon, Prince of Greed.” I held his stare, denying the headache punching through my skull. “Back off.”

  He thrust his head forward, too close. A blast of heat tightened the skin on my face. I cringed and turned away. Tremors rolled from the tips of my fingers to my toes. Okay, so maybe using the authority-voice had been a very bad idea. I’d forgotten he liked it when I fought him.

  He pushed up, herculean arms acting like hydraulic rams to heave his bulk off of me. Sprawled on my back beneath him, I could do little but watch with a mixture of awe and fear as Mammon peeled apart. The hand that went to his head flickered from volcanic black to tanned bronze, claws receding and then punching from his fingers again. His body reshaped, drawing the parts of Mammon inside, and then remaking and reshuffling demon flesh into human skin. It took time. Seconds, minutes, I don’t know how long. I couldn’t move, inexplicably fascinated as lashings of power knotted together, peeled apart, then tangled into the shape of a man.

  Akil collapsed, naked and trembling beside me. Perspiration glistened on his chest, beaded over slick muscles, and trickled into the valley of his navel. I forced my focus higher, where he rested the crook of his arm over his face, hiding his expression. His breath sawed through gritted teeth.

  I blinked, stunned into silence. He was okay. At least he was alive. That was good, right? I got to my knees, pinching my clothes away from my sweat-soaked skin. The stifling air inside the house crowded me. I needed to get away, to get some cool air into my lungs.

  “You were dead.” Akil’s barely human voice grated from the back of his throat. He turned his head toward me, and I wasn’t sure if his face was wet with perspiration or tears. It had to be sweat because the alternative was unthinkable.

  I opened my mouth to explain but found my voice had abandoned me. Where did I start? Stefan, Dawn, Levi... the dead Enforcers. He couldn’t help me with any of it. They were my mistakes. My problems. Akil couldn’t save me from myself. Somewhere down the line, I’d stopped expecting him to.

  “I should go.” I climbed onto unsteady legs and, wiping the dampness from my forehead, I stumbled for the door.

  Akil choked on a dry laugh. The ragged sound of it stopped me a few steps from the doorway. Turning back, I swallowed hard. He still laid on the floor, a goddamn picture-perfect man, apart from the shivering and twitching and the haunted wrung-out look in his eyes when he turned them on me.

  “You should stay. You need to stay.”

  “No.” Staying was a terrible idea. Every second I lingered, the urge to wrap him in my arms grew more immediate. “I thought the house was empty. I didn’t realize you were here. Quite honestly, I’ve not thought about you for weeks.” I could ta
lk the talk, but when I watched him drag himself to his feet, stagger and sway like a drunk, my conviction fell to pieces. My demon stalked too close to the surface. Raw emotion teased around the edges of my control. I battled old urges and shoved the demon back, only for her heat to spill through me again. She wanted to go to him, to dance in the fire. “I can’t do this.” I turned away.

  Akil’s solid embrace fell on me from behind. I immediately lashed out, only to find myself planted against the wall. His deliciously spicy, otherworldly scent burned my senses. I tensed to shove back, but he pinned me still, rigid naked muscles smothering me. A growl rumbled through him, like distant thunder. A warning. It stirred my instincts. My responding growl came easily. “I told your alter-ego Mammon to get the fuck off me. If you don’t let me go, I’ll fight like a demon until you do. In the condition you’re in, I might even have a chance.”

  He bowed his head and sucked in a breath just as Mammon had done moments before. His broad chest expanded against my back. I would fight him, but given his current state, I wasn’t entirely sure if fighting would help me.

  “Listen well, Muse.” His words slurred behind a melodic accent, barely English, certainly demon, “I am revealing a fragment of my soul to you, here and now.” He hesitated, as though waiting for me to interrupt or perhaps contemplating his next words. “I am chaos eternal. I desire everything this world and the next offers. I am greed. I hunger.” A snarl punctured his words. “Oh, how I hunger... I want the pathetic mortals of this world to bow before me. I want all that they own, all they desire, every marvelous creation of theirs, but there is only one thing in this world that I need, and that, Muse, is you.” He leaned closer, rapid breaths whispering on my neck.

  A flush of heat washed over me. I twisted in his embrace and pressed my back against the cool, hard wall. Akil planted his hands either side of me. Amber-rimmed eyes bored into mine. I’d peered into Mammon’s eyes in much the same position before, only now we were vertical instead of horizontal. “This can’t end well, Akil. You know that.” No matter what he said, it would always end the same. He’d try to evict Damien. He’d slip his power into the heart of me and seduce my soul.

  He licked his lips and said very carefully around sharp teeth, “You are killing me, Muse.”

  A shiver trickled through me. Fear? Maybe. Desire, lust? Certainly. He was too close, crowding me, filling my senses and clouding my thoughts. In those moments, he was all I knew, my anesthetic, and it was bliss. I needed to forget. I wanted to push the pain of reality away, to drown the horror of my own capabilities in the overbearing presence of Akil. But if I let him, he’d steal the last thread of my humanity, pluck it right out of me, and toss it away. Did he know how close I was to losing my mind? Could he sense the lure of chaos whispering to me? I gently planted my hands on his slick chest and soaked up his feverish warmth. His body quivered, and those micro movements just about undid me. When I flicked my gaze to his face, the raw emotion I saw seared my conviction. He bowed his head and sunk his hand into my hair. He pressed his scalding cheek against mine. I couldn’t slow my racing heart or pull back the sharp intakes of breath. I didn’t want to.

  “I lost you,” he whispered. His lips brushed mine, and the promise of a kiss fizzled between us, so damn close I locked my teeth together, refusing to succumb. His element flushed over me, a rapid wash of heat that summoned a storm of emotion from the darkest depths of my half blood body. I gripped his broad shoulders, intent on shoving him off, but my arms wouldn’t obey. I dug my nails in, hoping to hurt him, but his growl sent a wave of sparkling lust flooding through me. A short gasp escaped my lips as the reins of control slipped away. He nipped at my mouth and swept the tip of his tongue out, testing my resistance. I had none to give.

  “Akil–” Desperation clipped my voice. I was about to break, and he knew it.

  He lunged in and captured my mouth with his. That tiny part of me that knew this was wrong faded into the background, smothered beneath a roaring need to have him chase away the horrors stalking my thoughts. I laced my fingers into his hair and pulled him into the ravaging kiss. I attacked him as though starved. His lips burned, his teeth nipped, and his tongue swirled. This couldn’t happen. In seconds, he’d try to dive inside me to dislodge the dark parasite coiled around my insides. He’d rip out my cancerous parasite and take my humanity with it. I couldn’t let him do that. This wasn’t right. So why wasn’t I pushing him away? If I told him to stop—really told him—he would. Why wasn’t I saying the words? That damned demon lust was too fresh. Too real. Was it her, or was it me? What was the point in fighting my nature? Lust was in my veins, part of my DNA. My demon father was the Prince of Lust. My humanity only went halfway, and my demon had hold of me like never before. She pushed at my control, leaning into my restraint. She had the scent of freedom now and refused to yield.

  I broke the maddening kiss, breathless and trembling, and dropped my head back, closing my eyes. “I can’t.” He trailed scorching kisses across my jawline, fluttering them down the curve of my neck. His hand eased under my top, slid around my waist and clamped against my lower back. He tugged me against him with an animalistic groan and pulled me close. His naked body smothered mine. Even as I knew it was wrong, I melted against him with a shuddering moan.

  “Akil...” I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the delicious plain of his chest or the way his arms tensed, muscles tightening. I could feel him though, the heated strength of him, the hardness of his body against the softness of mine. Nerves fluttered low, shortening my breath. “You suffocate me.”

  “Stop thinking and feel. Let me love you.”

  Finally, a bolt of anger fired through me, driving back the smothering desire. I shoved, half mad with lust. He leaned back, giving me space to breathe again. “Love?” I snarled. The wicked play of firelight in his eyes pooled wet warmth between my legs. He licked his lips and pinned me in a predatory glare, making it quite clear he had every intention of devouring me once the foreplay was over. What did he know about love? “I can’t do this, Akil. Don’t do this to me. You know my demon wants you. Don’t tempt me like this. I’m not in my right mind. I’m losing control—”

  His fingers speared into my hair, locking his palms against my cheeks, forcing me to glare into his eyes. “Stop lying to yourself. This isn’t your demon’s doing, and you know it. Let me make love to you. Permit me this.” He molded his body against mine, driving the hardness of his erection against my hip. “Not as demon,” he whispered. “No element. No power. Just as a man.” His lips brushed mine. His breathless whispers sawed, rough with hunger. “I need to feel you as a man does a woman. You have no idea what it costs me to say these things to you. You cannot fathom what it means. I need you. I lay the truth before you. Would you turn me away? Right here and now, Muse, I am but a man.”

  My fragile heart stuttered. Tears welled in my eyes. His words burned like nothing else could. How did he know how to break me so completely? How could he know what I needed? I didn’t want him a demon. But as a man? When his lips met mine again, he teased and explored with reverent hesitation. He eased my jacket from my shoulders, the heat of his touch seeping through my clothes to sizzle against my sensitive skin. This was my last chance to pull away, and the decision was mine. I couldn’t deny what I felt for him. I wanted him, both halves of me wanted to hide from the world inside Akil’s embrace. I could forget the hideous thing crippling my soul, forget the sins hooked into my conscience, forget how everything I touched turned to ash.

  I rode my hands over the silken hardness of his chest, skipped my fingers over his shoulders and captured his face. “Damn you, Akil.” Drilling my gaze into his, I was already lost. I fell into his kiss, locked my arms around his neck, and dragged him down. My demon purred her approval. Otherworldly heat sizzled beneath my skin, and where Akil’s hands explored, desire sparked.

  He gathered me in his arms. A flash of static energy sprinkled my flesh, and in the next moment, we were in the bedroom. I
registered the dark wood and opulent furnishings in my peripheral vision before Akil’s growl hooked into my wandering thoughts and drew me back to him. He backed me up to the bed, fingers teasing up my thighs, sinking beneath the hem of my skirt and riding higher. I dragged my nails down his back, smiling against his mouth as he tensed and bowed me against him. His power had gone, his element snuffed out. I touched his fevered flesh and felt only the trembling of a man in the throes of desire.

  I pulled him down and whispered against his neck, “I’m not the same woman you screwed over, Akil. The woman you tried to force my demon from, she’s long gone. Do you believe you can tame me?”

  “No.” His gruff reply was more growl than word, but I heard it clearly enough.

  I shoved him back a few feet and watched with perverse delight how his body revealed his need to have me beneath him. Jesus, he couldn’t be real. He was too damned delicious to be real. In the low light, his primal masculinity stole all that remained of reason from my mind. I slid my tongue across my lips. He tracked the tiny movement. Removing my clothes, deliberately taking my time, I basked under the heat of his gaze as it roamed and devoured. He trembled by the time I kicked my boots off and stood before him in all my human nakedness. There was a time he’d despised my humanity, wanted only my demon, but there was no sign of that now.

  He stalked toward me, gathered me in his arms, and claimed me with a kiss. Arching against him, I threw my head back. His skillful tongue swirled down my neck. I was lost to lust, buried too deep in the madness to care about anything but Akil. Swirling his tongue around a nipple, he licked and teased, spurring my lust higher. He hitched my thigh around his hip, his fingers digging into my flesh before diving into the wetness of my core, stirring my needs into frenzy. Inhuman growls escaped me. I bucked against him, needing him inside. His dark laughter ratcheted my madness higher.