Beyond Resistance (The Ransom Series)

by A. T. Douglas

  “You need to wait,” I whisper to her, maintaining my plastered-on grin and barely moving my lips. “They’re watching.”

  Her eyes only widen in response as I open the passenger-side door and offer a hand to help her in. Through our grasp I can feel her entire arm shaking slightly. I give her what comfort I can, squeezing her hand lightly before letting go to close the door.

  By the time I’m back in the driver’s seat, my entire focus turns to getting us out of the parking lot and away from the guard booth at the entrance. There will be plenty of time for explanations and emotions and catching up. For now I just need to get Cindy away from this prison and deliver her to freedom.

  When the female guard emerges from the guard booth and blocks our exit, my heart sinks. For a moment my foot dithers between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, but I can’t floor it out of this fucking parking lot. They’ll instantly suspect something and move to chase, and everything will be ruined.

  Reluctantly, I slowly compress the brake pedal and bring the car to a stop a few feet away from the guard. She approaches the passenger-side window, so I push the button to lower the window and pray to God that our plan doesn’t blow up in my face before it even gets started.

  The guard leans down to the window and gives me a quick glance. She’s clearly taking me in, wondering who the hell I am. The question has to be on the tip of her tongue.

  Her focus shifts to my passenger, and a broad smile emerges on her face. “Your day is finally here, I see. Congratulations, Cindy.”

  Cindy’s breath seems to catch in her throat before she can manage a response. “Thanks. It’s been a long time coming.”

  The guard nods in agreement. “You’ll be missed, though I’m sure you won’t miss any of us.” She gives Cindy a wink and flashes her smile once again. “Get out of here. Enjoy your freedom.”

  With a couple pats on the car, the guard stands up and reenters the guard booth. I don’t waste any time putting the window back up and getting us moving forward again. In my rearview mirror, I catch a glimpse of the guard watching us drive away for only a moment before she turns her attention to something else.

  I can’t help the huge sigh of relief that escapes me as I turn the car out of the parking lot. The adrenaline fueling my veins from the last few minutes finally catches up to me, erupting out of me in a ridiculous, victorious series of laughs. The smile on my face could not be any wider as I turn to see Cindy sitting next to me, apparent tears of joy staining her wrinkled but grinning cheeks.

  It suddenly hits me. Even though we’ve met before when I was a baby, Cindy and I are only now meeting for the first time, and I’m acting like a complete idiot.

  “Sorry,” I immediately blurt out, keeping my attention on the road ahead of us. “That was just a little exhilarating, and by exhilarating I mean absolutely frightening.”

  Cindy remains quiet for a long moment. I can feel her eyes on me as I drive. I can practically hear the unspoken questions gathering in her mouth ready to pour out at me. She clears her throat instead, causing me to jump slightly in my seat.

  “You look just like him,” she says quietly. “I could have sworn you were Leo pulling up in this car to meet me.”

  “Believe me, Dad wanted to come. Mom did, too.” I pause a moment, shifting in my seat and glancing briefly at Cindy next to me. “I mean, your daughter wanted to be here.”

  “She’s your mom,” Cindy interrupts with a dismissive wave of her hand. “You can call her that. I got used to the idea of Morgan being a mom even before you were born.”

  I can only manage a slight grin. It’s strange to talk to someone other than my parents who is my own flesh and blood, especially a person who knows my parents as well as I do.

  “I’m glad I could be here,” I offer in an effort to change the subject. “I have a lot to tell you, and in the end you’ll have some decisions to make. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to take you to a motel outside the city so we can talk. I need to lie low while I’m here.”

  She nods in agreement. “Of course. I go where you go. I don’t want to miss a minute with my grandson.”

  3

  By the time we’re settled in at a motel not far from Phoenix, the exhaustion from the day starts to hit me. The lack of sleep last night and the large doses of adrenaline from picking up Cindy at the prison have taken their toll on me, but my task here for today has only just begun.

  I give Cindy enough time finish eating her lunch before I start up this conversation. I’m not ashamed to say I downed my food in less than two minutes. Giving her the time she needs to eat gives me time to think about how I’m going to do this even though I’ve already spent countless hours planning this conversation in my head. No matter what words I use, she’s not going to like some of what I have to say.

  Cindy throws away her trash from lunch before taking a seat on the bed next to me. She wraps her arm around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. “I still can’t believe you’re here, Dante. Look at you all grown up.”

  I can feel the heat of embarrassment in my face at her comments. I shouldn’t be overly surprised, I guess. This must be standard grandmother practice, but my natural inclination is to move past these emotional moments and get right down to business.

  “I’m here, well, first and foremost, to finally meet you,” I begin, giving myself a mental slap in the face at how poorly I’m starting this important conversation, “but also because we have a plan.”

  Cindy’s face contorts sideways in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

  “Let me explain.” I take a deep breath and will the right words to come out of my mouth. “We want you and Robert to come live near us. We want to bring the family back together again.”

  Tears instantly form in Cindy’s eyes as she tries and fails to speak. She only nods instead.

  “My parents and I have safely lived in our house in the woods all these years,” I continue. “We know you lost everything to pay your legal bills during the trial. We want you to start over near us. We have a small house picked out and ready for you. It needs a lot of work, but it’s secluded and not too far from us.”

  I’m quickly surprised and a little overwhelmed as Cindy pulls me into her embrace and cries uncontrollably on my shoulder. I do my best to return her gesture, though I still find this grandmotherly affection difficult to accept. I’ve always been that way with my mom’s signs of affection toward me, too.

  Cindy pulls back from me and tries to manage the tears still escaping her eyes. I take the opportunity to grab some tissues from the bathroom and offer them to her.

  “Thanks. God, I’m a mess,” she says with a small laugh as she runs the tissues over her eyes and nose.

  I return to sitting on the bed next to Cindy, cracking my fingers in my lap as a distraction while I wait for her emotions to calm down.

  “I’m okay now,” she says after a few minutes, sounding more like she’s trying to convince herself than convince me. “I would love to come live near you. I’m sure Robert would, too.”

  My expression turns uneasy, causing concern to flash across Cindy’s face. “Robert is where this plan becomes a little more complicated.”

  “How so?”

  “My parents are worried,” I begin to explain. “Even though you and Robert will have completed your entire sentences in prison, there’s no telling what interest the authorities will have in your lives after you’re released, especially for Robert given his history on the police force.”

  Understanding works its way into Cindy’s face. I can see the lines of concern deepening in her features. “You think they’ll follow us to you.”

  I nod slowly. “We don’t think the authorities have actively looked for us in years, but given all the past media coverage about my parents and about your trial, we can’t be certain that some crazy FBI agent or reporter won’t try to follow you to solve the great mystery of where my parents and I disappeared to. We need the world to believe that you and Robert h
ave moved on with your lives.” My eyes meet Cindy’s and hold her gaze. “We need the authorities to believe that you’ve moved on from each other.”

  “What are you saying?” Cindy asks in a whisper. The look on her face is as if I just pulled out her entire world from underneath her.

  “It’s not as bad as you’re thinking,” I try to reassure her. “We don’t want you two to actually split from each other; we just want everyone to think you have. You were friends with the wives of other police officers who worked with Robert, right?”

  Cindy only nods at me.

  “We want you to reach out to some of them. Meet them for lunch and explain that you’re leaving Robert to start a fresh life somewhere else. Let them believe that you want nothing to do with your past and your family after the twenty years you’ve spent in prison because of them.”

  I can’t help wincing slightly at my last words. It’s painful to think how my grandparents have suffered because of us while my parents and I have remained free.

  My words slowly register with Cindy. She looks away for a moment, clearly lost in thought. “So this is all you need me to do? You want me to gossip to the wives so they’ll tell their husbands?”

  “You have the idea, yes, but it’s not the only thing we need you to do.” I take a moment to clear my throat and rub my hands together in my lap before I continue. “We need you to tell Robert.”

  “Excuse me?” Cindy stands up from the bed and starts to back away from me. I immediately stand up to follow her, but when she extends her hand in front of her body as if she wants nothing to do with me, I sit back down on the bed. “You want me to tell my husband while he’s still in prison that I want nothing to do with him for the rest of my life? After all we’ve been through? How can I–”

  Her hand flies to her mouth as she turns and makes for the bathroom, slamming the door abruptly behind her.

  My first reaction is that I’ve failed. I’ve asked too much of this woman who has sacrificed the last twenty years of her life for this family already. I’m only adding to her devastation at a time when she should be elated to be free.

  “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, running my hands over my face with the temptation to punch myself for being such an asshole to my grandmother.

  Part of me wants to knock on the bathroom door to make sure Cindy’s okay. Another part of me wants to call my mom and tell her the plan is off, that we can’t make Cindy do this.

  I settle with grabbing a motel room key and stepping outside, pacing across the empty parking spaces just outside our room’s window with nothing but the thoughts in my head to keep me company.

  The door to our room opens some time later and Cindy appears with no sign of emotion on her face. She motions me back inside, and at this point I’m almost reluctant to follow. I hate that I’ve made her upset with all this.

  “I’ll do it,” she says before I can even close the door behind me. “I’ll do as you ask, but you have to promise me you’ll make Robert understand as soon as he is out of prison.”

  I give her a quick nod. “We want the inmates and prison staff to believe the family is broken. That’s all.”

  “The only one who will be broken is Robert. This will devastate him.”

  “I know. We just want his reaction to be genuine.” Cindy looks about ready to cry again, so I try to give her some support and pull her into a hug. “Thank you for doing this. It’ll be hard for a while, but once we’re all back together, you’ll see that it’s worth it. I hope Robert will realize that, too.”

  “He will. He’d do anything for you and your parents. You already know that.”

  Though I’ve only known Cindy in person for less than a day, I can feel that familial bond that we already share. I’m getting a glimpse of what it will be like to have our family back together again, and I know for certain now it will all be worth it.

  4

  Silence. It’s filled the space between me and Cindy for the last four days. Since the moment she emerged from visiting her husband in prison, she has barely said a word to me, but the tears she’s shed all over the place have told me enough.

  There’s nothing like tearing your grandmother’s heart out then having to drive the entire length of the country with her.

  If we had unlimited amounts of phone minutes and battery power, I’d let Cindy talk to my mom the entire drive. Those are the only moments she seems to brighten up and forget that she just broke her husband’s heart into a million tiny jagged pieces. To see her smile and laugh in the few times we’ve called my parents since we got on the road from Arizona has been such a relief but only makes me feel worse when the calls end and we’re back to the nothingness, just the stale silence and heavy heartache and the endless road before us.

  Thank God we’re almost there.

  As we make the final turns through the twisting roads deeper into the woods of Maine, my heart rate inevitably picks up. My palms are clammy. I suddenly feel claustrophobic in this car. I shouldn’t be nervous about reuniting Cindy with my parents, but for some reason it scares the shit out of me. The hard part of the first half of this plan is done. This should be fucking easy.

  The turn into our driveway appears ahead, and something clicks in my brain, a perfect understanding of my current uneasy state.

  Our lives will never be the same.

  The dirt driveway to the house is long. I can feel the wheels of the car struggle to get through a few patches of mud left over from recent rain. I’m quickly reminded of the difficulties we’ve had getting up and down this driveway over the years and the countless times we’ve had to dig out the tires when Dad got overly ambitious about making a supply run before the next snow storm.

  We’ve had so many memories together here, in our house and in these surrounding woods. It’s always been just me and my parents, but that’s all about to change, and change is scary, even if it’s a good change.

  I feel some amount of relief the moment I see home. After all the time I’ve spent cooped up in that small brown box of a house, I never thought I’d miss it and its pointed roof and white shutters around the windows, but it’s such a welcome sight.

  Seeing my mother run out the front door of it careening toward us makes it all that much better.

  Cindy’s hands fly to her face as she bursts into tears at seeing her daughter for the first time in over twenty years. As I bring the car to a stop, I can’t deny the lump threatening to form in my throat at the sight of Cindy getting out of the car straight into her daughter’s embrace. Mom’s crying now, sobbing into Cindy’s shoulder as they grip on to each other.

  I take a deep breath and step out of the car, willing my emotions to stay under control. It helps to see Dad step out of the house, the signature stoic look on his face reminding me to man up and not let myself get mushy about this reunion. Seeing him after hearing Cindy say that I look just like him makes me realize just how right she is. Though my hair doesn’t quite reach my ears, it has the same dark and tousled look as my dad’s, and there’s no mistaking I have his slate blue eyes.

  He gives me a nod before grabbing my hand and pulling me into a hug. “Damn fine job, son,” he compliments, giving my back a hearty pat.

  I pull away from him and return his gesture with a smile. “All that worrying for nothing,” I tease, nodding toward Mom and the mess of tears she’s sharing with her own mother. “Everything went perfectly.”

  When Mom and Cindy finally pull back from each other, they immediately come toward us, Cindy pulling Dad into a hug as I am quickly enveloped by Mom’s arms. She squeezes me tightly before pulling back to look me up and down. She releases a deep, relieved breath. “You’re home and in one piece.”

  I can’t help laughing at her. “Of course I’m in one piece. I just went for a long drive, remember?”

  The familiar look for a mother wanting to school her son on the dangers of life plays on her face for only a moment before she bursts into a smile and hugs me again, whispering, “I’m
proud of you.”

  “I’m glad I could bring her back to you,” I whisper back, that damn lump in my throat desperately trying to make a reappearance.

  She pulls back and looks me directly in the eyes. “Back to us,” she says firmly. “This is for all of us, Dante. You need more than just your parents in your life.”

  If only she knew how true her words are. I won’t let it show in my face, but I can feel the happiness and relief within me slipping away, opening up just enough of a crack to let the thoughts lingering in the back of my mind creep in.

  I need a lot more of everything in my life. I need a life. I can’t spend the rest of my days holed up in this house hidden away in the woods. This past week of being out in the world–the actual world that exists beyond the small surrounding towns of Maine–has shown me just what I’ve been missing, all the places and experiences that most normal people take for granted. Friends packed into a tiny car already half-drunk on their way to a party. Couples holding hands as they walk out of a fancy restaurant after dinner. Families playing at the park seemingly without a care in the world. They may all have their ups and downs, but there is vibrancy in their lives. They have the potential to hold meaning and purpose.

  It makes me feel fucking empty.

  Dad grabs our bags from the back seat as Mom leads Cindy toward the house, and suddenly I just don’t feel like being here anymore. The place that brought me such relief just minutes before is now pushing me away.

  “I think I’ll go for a drive,” I call out to them.

  Mom and Cindy are already deep into conversation, so only Dad hears me. He turns around, completely confused. “You’ve been driving for days. You really want to do more of it?”

  I can’t hide the dumbfounded look on my face as I realize how stupid this idea sounds. “You three need some time to get reacquainted,” I explain, proud of myself for thinking that one up on the fly. “I won’t be gone long.”