I am Iron Man

by Colin Cook

giant grey superstructure gliding past our left side while trying to formulate a new strategy.

  "Whatever that other way is you better find it quickly, they're closing in around us," Alec said down to me with a sweeping hand gesture, indicating several of the Turian

  ships that had started to turn and move toward our position.

  "The Mass Relay will not operate for oncoming ships while new arrivals are still in the vicinity, it's a hardcoded safeguard that the Asari added to its mechanisms during the

  early days of the Council. That basically means there is no way for us to activate the Relay while the Turian fleet is still around it." While Haxon tensely explained this not so

  encouraging fact, Alec and Yoda were frantically looking between the many nearing Cruisers, seeing the familiar blue glow of their forward cannon barrels as their weapons

  began preparing to fire.

  "Come on there has to be another way to use it, what if we tried…" I began asking the A.I., when all of a sudden a faint sizzling sound began emanating from a section of

  the floor next to my left side. Startled by the sight of smoke wisps rising up from underneath the deck plating, the three of us all recoiled away as the section dissolved

  into superheated liquid, quickly being eaten away by a familiar acid and creating a hole that gave us a good view of the deck below us. Immediately Polly sprung up from

  where he had landed on the floor, nonchalantly jumping onto Alec and springboarding himself onto the control consoles in front of me. Leaning over the edge Polly gave a

  great commanding hiss down into the hole, his order being answered immediately by a large platoon of Replicator spiders and beetles that started clawing their way up

  into the cockpit.

  Except they weren't coming up and fanning out, instead all of them began disassembling their bodies and piecing together their many interconnecting blocks into a single

  frame, quickly building a curved and complex machine of some kind that covered the hole and rose up until it was level with my waist. After a few moments, the blocks

  from the last Replicator's body traveled up and formed into a large mechanical lever that looked it belonged in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. A smooth humming

  came from the new machine as the final components slid together, causing many system indicators and a series of notches lined up behind the lever to light up a deep

  blue colour. I turned to Polly with a cocked eyebrow.

  "So what did you guys build this time, a super-powered escape device that can teleport us out of here?" I asked with a half smile, not really expecting an answer.

  But to my surprise Polly quickly began nodding a yes, repeatedly jabbing his red right leg down at the machine as if telling me to use it!

  "Seriously?!" I asked with a shocked start, now examining every detail I could make out from the machine with the few seconds we still had. The Cruisers had now come

  to a full stop encircling us, all of them targeting our ship with their fully charged weapons.

  "I guess it can't hurt to give it a try," I stated to everyone with a shrug before gripping the lever with my left hand and gradually pulling it back. The blue notches each lit up

  brighter as the lever passed by them one after the other, the humming increasing in speed and pitch as more and more power was drawn from whatever this thing was

  attached to in the decks below.

  Suddenly far out ahead of us behind the fleet of ships, a large shifting purple cloud began flickering into existence beside the Mass Relay, its essence slowly fluctuating in

  graceful movements. My eyes were wide for the millionth time today, instantly recognizing the look of the cloud and what it meant.

  "The Replicators have done something to the navigational computers. Whatever this machine is, it's drawing out and utilizing the coordinates that I locked in earlier for the

  Artemis Tau Cluster," Haxon reported as his sensors scanned what was happening.

  "Wait a minute, that thing isn't a teleporter, it's a…" Alec began, looking between the machine and the spectacle out in space as he too recognized the cloud's appearance.

  "That's a Hyperspace Window. They built us a Stargate hyperdrive!" I said to everyone while looking at Polly with a wide grin of gratitude. Immediately I punched a series

  of button taps into my console, redirecting our path to line up directly with that of the Window.

  "You can't be serious," Alec quickly stated down to me, all of us bracing against the dashboard as the Corsica shifted to the side.

  "Alec this is our ticket outta here! And better yet it means we won't need to use the Mass Relays for getting around in the future; the Council won't be able to use them

  to track us down!" I explained eagerly to him, keeping my attention focused on getting us to the Window as fast as possible. Quickly we shot closer and closer to our new

  escape route, gradually beginning to cut down under or around the group of Cruisers loosely arrayed in front of us.

  "We're actually going in there? We have no idea if it'll work properly in this universe, or how the Replicators managed to build it in the first place!" Alec pointed out

  apprehensively, casting both the Window and Polly an uneasy look.

  "I said the same thing about the Iron Man suit, and it turned out better then we ever could have hoped for! Besides we're the new Pirates of Mass Effect, this is what we

  do!"

  "Better chances of surviving in there than staying here we have!" Yoda yelled to Alec over the thunderous barrage of cannon blasts that had just fired from the Cruisers!

  Alec gave a huffing shrug and a wholehearted nod of agreement to both of us.

  "Alright, UNTO THE BREACH THEN!" he declared, striking an awesome adventurer's pose and pointing a finger at the oncoming purple cloud mass, an epic grin of defiance

  instantly spread across his face. With a grin that could match his I pulled the Hyperdrive lever all the way back to its furthest notch, lighting all of it's systems in blue and

  causing the constant humming to spike again. The decks and walls soon began shaking, the Corvette's speed progressively increasing to dangerous levels. In the span of

  a second our ship flashed underneath the streams of cannon barrage, widely dodging the blazing blasts and passing between the Turian Cruisers before their operators had

  a chance to register what had happened.

  All of us had now begun shouting in fright, the Corsica blasting into the mouth of the Hyperspace Window with such force that it tore me from my harness and threw

  everyone backwards across the length of the cockpit.

  With a great flash of light the ship's modified Replicator engines rocketed out large jets of blue flame and threw us into the centerfolds of the Window, our essence

  disappearing from sight a millisecond before the purple vortex itself dispersed into nothingness!

  Everyone gasped or jerked their heads in surprise, the shock of what had just happened creating a pandemonium of delayed activity throughout the entire Headquarters.

  Pallin could only blink, his professional pride and military training allowing him to stifle his bafflement and the swelling of rage he was beginning to feel rising up in his chest.

  But it wasn't enough to keep a subtle Turian from creeping across his avian face. Behind him Bailey and Chellick had been released from their restrainers, both men looking

  up at the finally cleared up main screen with wide eyes and ironic half smiles of astonishment.

  "He did it," Chellick stated, still flabbergasted by the unexpected outcome of this entire ordeal. Bailey was nodding his head, a weird sense of admiration spreading through

  him as he continued staring at the spot where Axel's ship had just vanished from.

  "Yes he did."

  "Coordinate with the Fleet, have them escort the Palaven-Star and the Death-Claw into the Docks for repairs," Pallin began saying to the CO before turning around
toward

  the duo.

  "And you three…" the Executor breathed venomously at the two lieutenants and agent F'Loson, who was standing stiffly with her eyes focused ahead and her expression

  remaining coldly neutral.

  "I am holding you all personally responsible for this entire fiasco. You will report to my office immediately for a long debriefing on the events that occurred during your little

  adventures, and on the future of your continued involvement with C-Sec in any capacity. This that understood?" Pallin demanded, flicking his eyes between the three

  officers.

  "Yes sir," F'Loson answered automatically with dutiful firmness. Bailey and Chellick didn't answer for a moment, both men regarding their superior with barely noticeable

  scowls before they gave a stiff nod in unison.

  "Yes sir," they finally said in a cold tone, the thought of the next few hours ahead leaving bitter tastes in their mouths. Pallin regarded the two for a long moment before

  turning toward the Headquarters' blast-doors.

  But suddenly, just as the Executor had taken his first step off of the command platform, the main screen behind him changed from the security camera footage it was

  showing. A blinding white light briefly shot out across the room before a deep voice angrily boomed throughout the entire chamber.

  "EXECUTOR PALLIN!"

  The enraged roar of the Turian Counselor caused Pallin to freeze in place and everyone to shoot their gazes up to the screen. Slowly turning around to face his superior,

  Pallin carefully removed all emotion from his features and his voice as he straightened up and set his jaw.

  "Yes Counselor?" he answered up to the Turian's enormous visage, one that showed him standing near the open balcony of his sunny white office in the Embassy District.

  Right away the Counselor deliberately held up an OSD pad for everyone present to see, one that was activated and showing a very familiar video of the badly dancing Rick

  Astley on its screen.

  "Never gonna give you up…" the chorus of the infamous Rick-Roll could be heard coming from it, causing many people to look over at Pallin as he closed his eyes in

  preparation for what was coming next.

  "Would you kindly explain to me why this has been playing over and over again on every communications outlet in the Embassy area, including my private terminals?" the

  Counselor asked with unconcealed expectancy. Pallin cleared his throat and placed his hands behind his back.

  "It is a widespread viral video message that the terrorist Axel transmitted during his…" the Executor began before the Counselor suddenly interrupted him.

  "During his recent escape from the Citadel, one which was made possibly by your so many obvious blunders Pallin." Pallin's eyes widened and a confused frown formed on

  his brow-ridges as he cast an accusatory look over at Bailey and Chellick.

  "Counselor, I wasn't involved in the manhunt for Axel and his accomplices until recently, I left most of that to my officers which I had hoped…" Pallin began stating

  defensively, only to be interrupted again.

  "You are the Executor of Citadel Security. The safety of this station is your responsibility and your duty to take seriously when a threat arises. If there is any blame to be

  found in this matter, most will be on you for not putting your full attention on this sooner before it became out of hand," the Turian stated with a point of his talon down to

  the Executor. Pallin's eyes widened slightly.

  "Counselor…" he stated almost in bewilderment, clearly not believing what he was hearing.

  "You will report to my office within the next hour Executor. You and I are going to have a little talk about proper management of duties," the Counselor said immediately,

  pausing for a moment to let that sink in. Pallin stiffened, his face dropping into a stern look before giving a sharp nod to the Counselor's image.

  "Yes sir," he said immediately. With a click the Counselor severed his connection with the Headquarters, making his image vanish from the main screen. Without any

  threats or begrudging glances, Pallin only sharply nodded to F'Loson before he and she turned and quickly made their way out through the blast-doors.

  Giving a short astonished laugh of sorts, Bailey and Chellick absently walked over toward the center of the platform, watching the Executor and his liaison leave with semidropped

  jaws.

  "You know, technically he can't fire us now without the Counselor's say so," Chellick said over to Bailey with a smirk. Bailey chuckled, still shocked by the outcome of this

  whole mess but now even more so by the fact that he might still get to keep his job. But before they could say anything else, both men heard a hearty laughter coming

  from behind before a firm three taloned hand came up and clapped both of them on the back.

  "You boys finally got him outta here. The drinks are on me!" the Turian CO stated with a wide grin, standing almost in-between them and wrapping an arm around the

  backs of their shoulders. Bailey and Chellick looked at each other for a quick moment before nodding their heads and arching their mouths in agreement to the

  commander's proposition, feeling a drink was definitely in order after the rough ride they had been on.

  My back slammed against the deck, causing me to elicit a painful gasp as I slid several feet back across the cockpit before coming to a stop. Polly and a few other

  Replicators that had crashed around me hissed in a similar manner as the Corsica's motion dampeners restored themselves back to their previous state, causing

  everyone's semi-weightlessness to disappear.

  "Oww," I ground out after a spike of pain wracked my forehead, the cut I had received above my eyebrow from my grappling-hook stunt in the Council Chambers having

  just re-opened from the force of my harsh landing. Sitting up and wiping away the fresh blood that had already begun to seep out, I glanced up from the floor toward the

  windshield.

  "Wow…" I breathed in awe, looking all around at the spectacle in front of me. The entire inside of the cockpit was lit with a deep flickering purple/blue glow, almost making

  it feel like the ship was travelling underwater.

  Outside was a different story however, for at this very moment a massive endless Stargate Hyperspace tunnel flashed by us, blasting our small Corvette across the

  farthest reaches of space!

  Polly crawled up beside me, also gazing at the scene before letting out a soft whistle of impressment.

  "It worked, we're actually flying through Hyperspace. You guys are the BOMB!" I began saying before turning to Polly and declaring the compliment, lifting my arm and

  extending my hand over to him. Quickly figuring out what the gesture implied, Polly lifted his red/silver leg and hopped up toward my hand, the sharp tip gently meeting

  with my gloved palm in the best equivalent of a High-Five we could manage. Standing up, I wiped away more blood from my stinging cut before turning around to the

  others.

  "Gentlemen I'm happy to say…" I began announcing joyfully, but right away I broke off as I was struck with confusion.

  Alec and Yoda weren't in the room anymore.

  Frowning, Polly and I left behind the few Replicators still in the cockpit and began moving down the narrow corridor into the conference table area.

  "Oh my," I said once I saw the state of things.

  Replicators were dashing back and forth all around the CIC, each of them frantically trying to repair the array of damage that had been done to the ship during the course

  of our escape. Brief swarms of sparks periodically rained down from frayed electrical cables that had broken out from sections of the ceiling, disappearing as they mingled

  with a few small fires that were burning from several destroyed control outlets around the room. Jagged pieces of debris covered mo
st of the floor, mixed with the

  scattered parts of the Iron Man suit that hadn't been secured before our eventful flight.

  Seeing this Polly quickly scrambled into the fray, moving to help Sparky begin gathering up the suit while the other spiders and beetles started recycling all of the debris and

  reintegrating it back into the rest of the ship. (Hey, Recycle Re-use, tis' the way of the future!)

  As they did that, amidst this pandemonium of movement I quickly found Yoda laying on his back on top of the conference table, obviously having been thrown here from

  down the corridor after the Corsica had jumped into Hyperspace.

  "Now how's that for a dramatic exit?" I asked with a grin as I came over to the end of the table and offered a hand to the Jedi. Yoda grunted in effort before accepting it

  and pulling himself up to his feet, taking a brief moment to brush some metal fragments off his claw torn robes before answering.

  "One of the most eventful days in my entire life this has been. Find myself strangely looking forward to more in the journeys ahead, I do," the old Master said before

  giving a small grin of his own.

  Suddenly a metallic groaning/crashing sound came from the far end of the table, being followed by a loose pile of debris and fragments rising up and toppling over each

  other, looking like some kind of monster was rising out of the clutter of a junkyard!

  Just then a black gloved hand rose up into view and clamped onto the table's edge, pulling up a cut and bruised looking Alec from underneath the wreckage shortly

  afterward.

  "Oh don't worry, there'll be plenty more moments like this in the coming days," the Guardian grimaced before raising his other hand onto the table, which at the moment

  was holding a very scratched and beat up Iron Man helmet in its grasp. Turning to the helmet's scarred silver faceplate and lifeless black eyes, Alec smirked before jumping

  up to a stand, letting hundreds of loose metal fragments fall to the floor with an oddly pleasant jingling sound, and extending his arm out before himself in a dramatic

  pose.

  "Alas poor Stark, I didn't really know him at all Axel," he declared to me in a Shakespearian voice before turning and underhanding the helmet across the table.