All The Pretty Ghosts (The Never Series Book 1)

by Jamie Campbell

  I looked down, seeking the damage myself. My jeans had a hole, the fabric sticking to my skin around the edges. The patch in the middle was a red raw mess, the skin blistering. When the feeling returned, it was going to hurt like hell.

  Oliver came up behind Jet. He didn’t have a scratch on him, he looked exactly as he had every day since I entered the city. He was already begging for my forgiveness again. “Everly, you’re okay, thank goodness. I’m so sorry.”

  I ignored him, keeping my attention on Jet. “Tell me you can see him.”

  His brow wrinkled. “See who? What are you talking about? Did you hit your head?”

  My finger pointed toward Oliver as he stood still, his face grief-stricken. “Him. Oliver. I need to know you can see him. Please, you have to be able to see him.”

  Jet’s eyes darted everywhere.

  Oliver didn’t say another word.

  He couldn’t see him.

  Jet turned back to me. “Everly, I have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s only us here. Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Maybe you’ve got a concussion.”

  He reached for me but I flinched away. My hands rubbed at my eyes before my fingers twisted in my hair. I needed it all to be nothing more than a nightmare. I needed to wake up and realize I was merely sleeping. It couldn’t be happening for real.

  Maybe I had really died upstairs, burned to death tied to an uncomfortable chair. This was certainly a form of hell, maybe I was being punished for something.

  “Everly, calm down,” Jet urged.

  I continued to shake my head, pinching myself to wake up. Nothing was working, nothing was going right. I wasn’t waking up.

  It was really true.

  Oliver was really dead.

  “You can’t see him,” I whispered to myself.

  “See who? Everly, breathe. You need to calm down.”

  Oliver just stood there. He outstretched his arms toward me but then let them fall back to his sides. He couldn’t touch me, even if he tried. He knew that just as much as I did now.

  “I’m so, so sorry,” he said. There was regret in his eyes as they burned into me.

  It wasn’t right that he was gone. Oliver was a beautiful human being, he was generous, funny, loyal, and kind. He didn’t deserve to be dead. He shouldn’t have been taken. It just shouldn’t have happened.

  I didn’t know what to do. There was nowhere to go now, I was all alone. My leg needed a doctor but it would never get that opportunity. If I returned to the apartment, it would only remind me that I was there alone.

  The thought of collapsing where I stood was more than tempting. I could fall to the ground and let whatever come what may. I could die there, haunt the rest of the world like it did me.

  “You’re scaring me, Everly,” Jet said. I had forgotten he was here. “Let me take you underground. I’ve got bandages, I can find something for your burn.”

  I wasn’t going anywhere with him.

  He was with them. He let all this happen.

  My head continued to shake as I stepped backwards, making it clear I didn’t need anything from him. His gang had tied me up, they tried to kill me. He was the reason I knew I didn’t have Oliver anymore.

  His eyes moved from me to over my shoulder. His mouth twisted into a frown. I spun around, terrified about what I was going to see.

  All my fears were justified.

  Taz and the rest of the boys were coming for us. Coming for me. Coming to finish me off.

  “Stay here,” Jet ordered me. He raced toward the guys, his fists flying before he reached them. Within seconds, they set onto him.

  Now was my moment.

  I ran.

  My leg hurt every time my foot touched the ground, my lungs burned like they were still on fire, and my heart ached worst of all. I didn’t know where I was going, but it didn’t matter. As long as I was far away from Jet, Oliver, and the rest of them, I didn’t care.

  I didn’t turn around to see if anyone was following me. I couldn’t see Oliver so I knew he wasn’t keeping pace with me. Hopefully the boys would be too busy to notice I was gone.

  Soon, the only sound I could hear was the pounding of my own heart and my feet on the road. I was running blind but the pain was good, it was distracting. While I focused on the ache, my brain couldn’t process everything that had happened.

  Adrenalin spurred me on, driving me like nothing else. I had never run as far or as fast as I did then. The kids I passed were nothing but a blur. I probably looked a complete mess, covered in black smoke with my clothes half-burned off.

  They probably thought I was the monster of their nightmares.

  I hoped I wouldn’t haunt their dreams tonight.

  My legs continued on, my lungs gasped for air with each step. I needed water more than I needed anything else but I wasn’t going to stop. I couldn’t be far enough away from Jet and his gang.

  I didn’t realize where I was until I looked up and saw a white picket fence that I had stood beside for many hours. I stopped abruptly, coming to a halt at the gate.

  My house on the hill.

  It looked exactly the same as when I had left it. The windows were perfectly symmetrical, the mahogany front door was beckoning me inside, and the pathway was leading me into solace.

  There was no hesitation as I opened the gate and went inside. I was home again. I had yearned for this moment and it was exactly what I needed. I should never have stepped outside of the property in the first place. Oliver was proof of that.

  The front door wasn’t locked, it didn’t need to be. If anyone dared to cross the threshold, they would have felt the full force of the forty-three spirits that called it their permanent resting place.

  I closed the door and leaned against the cool wood for support. For a moment, there was nothing but silence and the sharp intake of my breath. It was like the world stopped for just that moment so I could catch up.

  It didn’t last long.

  “She’s back.”

  “She’s injured. What’s happened to her leg?”

  “It looks like she’s been in a fire.”

  “Did she burn something down?”

  “Why would she do that? It had to be someone else.”

  “Maybe she’s changed. She’s been gone for a long time. We don’t know her anymore.”

  “Nobody changes that much.”

  “It’s only been a few days.”

  “More than a week.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to drown them out. It was comforting hearing those same voices, the ones I had heard chatter about nothing for almost a year. On the other hand, they were also a stark reminder about why I had left in the first place.

  But I hadn’t left because they annoyed me. Even though they did.

  I had left for Oliver.

  I thought he was hurt, I worried about him being in the city alone, without a friend. A laugh escaped my lips, despite the horrible feeling growing in my gut.

  My fears had been right. He wasn’t safe in the city. Oliver had died. Without me. Without anyone. He was all alone when he perished without his best friend. I didn’t know how I was going to live with that guilt.

  “Ah, it’s the boy.”

  “What boy?”

  “The one who used to visit all the time.”

  “Oh, the one she wouldn’t let in?”

  “That’s him.”

  “Everly…” Oliver said. He was here. I would recognize that voice anywhere.

  My eyes flew open and I saw him straight away. He was standing in front of me, the other spirits giving him some space. He looked just as sad as he did when I left him outside the factory.

  I took a breath as I tried to steady my voice. I needed to say some things to him and I couldn’t do it if I was in a puddle on the floor. Now was the time to be brave or I would regret it for the rest of my life.

  “Oliver,” I started, finding my voice not too terrible after all. “You lied to me.”

  “I didn’t know
how to tell you.”

  “It was going to hurt no matter what you said. I deserved to know. You let me fall-” I cut myself off, unable to finish. He let me fall in love with him, knowing full well I could never have him.

  The image of our almost-kiss flashed in my head. Now I understood why he had pulled away so suddenly. He knew my lips would go straight through him. All I would have felt was coldness as I passed through his spirit. He didn’t want to give his lie away.

  I should have been able to work it out sooner. A part of me knew I was also to blame for being kept in the dark. I never considered he was no longer with the living. I had fooled myself despite what my eyes had seen.

  He never touched anything. I never saw Oliver eat. He hadn’t been beaten up by the guys in the alley. He disappeared and reappeared on a daily basis. He had gone unseen by Jet’s gang when they tied me up the first time and he helped me escape.

  There were no spirits in the underground and Oliver knew that. He hadn’t insisted on coming down to see Jet with me. I thought he was helping me. But he was really concealing his secret. I had let him get away with it.

  All the clues were there.

  I was just too blind to see it.

  “I didn’t want to hurt you. The thought of having to tell you… it was making me ache,” Oliver said.

  I wanted to stay angry with him. I desperately wanted to hold onto the rage that had helped me run all the way to my house on the hill. If I could just hold onto that, the pain and hurt couldn’t take over.

  But I couldn’t.

  Oliver was dead. I could never bring him back. He would never get to live the life he deserved. That opportunity was taken away from him. Too soon. Far, far too soon.

  “How did it happen?” I asked quietly. I was still holding onto the door behind me, using it for support. I swear, it was the only thing stopping me sinking to the floor and curling up into the fetal position.

  “I was walking back from the shelter one night, I’d just helped them close up, and I was attacked. Two guys jumped me, I didn’t even see it coming.”

  “They killed you?”

  He nodded and it was so like the Oliver I had known my entire life that I almost lost my composure. “One guy held me down and the other… he hit me. Hard. My head hit the concrete and I was gone.”

  “Did you see who they were? Have you seen them again?” I hated them. Whoever they were, I wanted to hunt them down and hurt them just as badly as they hurt Oliver.

  I wanted them dead.

  “I haven’t seen them since.” He took a cautious step closer to me, like I was an illusion that might vanish at any moment. It was hard to believe this was my best friend, the one I had shared so much with over the course of our lives.

  “How long?” My voice hitched in my throat. “How long have you been… gone?”

  “It happened a few months before you came into the city.”

  “That’s how you knew I could see ghosts. I could see you,” I said, it wasn’t a question but a statement. His head nod confirmed it was true. “You said you always knew I could.”

  “I’m sorry I lied,” Oliver confessed. “I wasn’t ready to tell you yet and there was no other way to explain how I knew about the spirits.”

  He had lied a lot to me. I never thought that was possible.

  But I didn’t think my best friend would die either.

  “I forgive you,” I said, really meaning it. I didn’t mean just for that particular lie, but for them all. It must have been so, so hard on him going through the crossover alone.

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, I should have been.”

  He shook his head, taking another step closer again. I could have reached out and touched him if my hands wouldn’t go straight through his body. “There was nothing you could have done. It happened, I’ve accepted it.”

  “You didn’t deserve to die.” The bitterness was back in my voice, but it wasn’t directed at him this time. He knew that, he knew me too well to think otherwise.

  “Nobody deserves to die, Ev. But I’ve made peace with it. It was my time and we all have a purpose.” His eyes were nothing but sincere, he really had made peace with his death.

  Another reason why Oliver was a much better person than I was.

  I would have been out for revenge.

  “And what’s your purpose?”

  “I’ve been helping people,” he replied, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. “So many kids are dying, they get scared crossing over. I’ve been comforting them to try to make it better. Some are really young, they don’t understand what’s going on.”

  “That’s where you’ve been going every day?”

  “When I’m not with you, yes.”

  My hands twitched, they wanted to reach up and cradle his head so badly. If ever there was a time when I just wanted to hug him and make everything better, it was right now.

  But that was never going to happen.

  Not now, and not ever.

  “Why did you keep coming to see me?” I asked. I needed to know, I needed all the details until my mind stopped spinning. If that was possible anymore.

  “I couldn’t leave you.

  “Why? Why would you stay for me?” My tears were on the verge of brimming over my eyelids and falling down my cheeks. Even the door wouldn’t hold me up for much longer. Not with the pain in my leg starting to become real again.

  “Because I love you, Ev. I’ve always been in love with you from the moment we first met.” His gaze went to the floor, leaving me for the first time since he had shown up. “There was no way I could leave you.”

  My heart clenched in my chest. I had been wanting him to say those three little words for so long, and now it was happening, it was nothing but heartbreaking.

  I pushed off the door, standing up to my full height in front of him. His attention came back to me, our eyes locking on one another instantly. Those brimming tears were now staining my cheeks, weaving little rivers through the black soot.

  “I love you, too,” I said.

  I had imagined that moment so many times in my fantasies. I always thought it would be different. That I would jump into Oliver’s arms and he would carry me off into the sunset. We’d find Faith and then live somewhere remote for the rest of our lives, letting the rest of the world fade into nonexistence.

  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it with Oliver being a ghost.

  “I love you,” I started. “And you’re going to have to leave me. You’ll cross over and I’ll be all alone again. I don’t know how I’m going to live without you, Olly. I really don’t.”

  The hand he had been fighting to keep at his side came toward me. He brushed my cheek. I didn’t feel the soft warmth of his skin like I should have. It was just a cold breeze, a feeling that would normally send a shiver down my spine.

  It didn’t help the tears.

  Or the ache deep within my ribcage.

  “I’m not going to leave you,” he promised. “I’m always going to be here for you for as long as you need me. I’m not going anywhere without you telling me I can first. Not until you’re ready.”

  Not until I’m ready.

  Which implied he would still leave me one day. He was just allowing me to choose the day that a part of me died and disappeared with him.

  Was it selfish of me to keep him here?

  Chapter Eighteen

  At Oliver’s insistence, I found a bandage in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and thoroughly cleaned my leg. There was no cream to put on it so I loosely wrapped the burn and hoped the open wound wouldn’t stick to it too badly.

  Agatha had given me a few hints on keeping it clean, the entire time slipping in comments about how I shouldn’t have been in a situation to get burned in the first place.

  All I knew was that the minute the burn got an infection, I would be a dead woman walking.

  Perhaps that wouldn’t be a bad thing anymore. If I died, tha
t is. I kept that to myself, knowing Oliver wouldn’t want to hear it.

  The spirits that had been listening to us earlier were still quiet. If I knew Oliver would be able to make them shut up, I would have invited him in months ago.

  Oliver waited for me in the living room, giving me the privacy I needed to collect myself. I found some clothes in the closet before returning to him.

  “Is your leg okay?” he asked, staring at me carefully.

  “It’ll be fine,” I replied, taking a seat on the sofa. Oliver sat on the floor at my side. Still so painfully close that I could reach him but not touch his skin. He could only sit on the floor, it was the only thing he didn’t go through.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything back in the factory. I wanted to, you have to know that.”

  “I do.” I didn’t want to remember what had happened back there. If I could erase it from my memory, I would have done. At least all the black soot was no longer covering my skin, and my clothes no longer smelled like smoke. It was a start.

  The first step toward forgetting.

  The spirits were filling the room, some lingering by the door. “All these spirits I’ve been seeing, you can see them too, can’t you?” I asked.

  “I can.”

  “So you know how bad they are, what they do to me.”

  He nodded. “I’ve tried talking to them but nobody wants to listen. They want their opportunity to speak with you.”

  “They’re a bit pushy,” I said. Despite ourselves, our lips both quirked up into a smile. I repositioned my leg so it was up on the sofa. The bandage didn’t pull that way and the pain wasn’t as bad. I would have killed for a pain relieving pill.

  Oliver opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. His brow wrinkled in conflict. He wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should. I had seen that look many, many times before.

  “Just say it,” I insisted. “Whatever it is, I can take it.”

  Except, I wasn’t sure if I could.

  He pursed his lips together, as if he could physically stop himself from saying the words he wanted to. A knot formed in my stomach over what it could be.

  But I had to know.

  “Come on, Olly. Just say it, please. You’re scaring me by keeping it from me.”