A Change Of View (Northern Lights Book 2)

by Freya Barker

  With that he scoots back in his seat, a smug grin on his face as Roar barks out a laugh.

  Well, that stuns me silent. Roar puts his hand on my knee and gives it a squeeze.

  “You okay?”

  I’m sure when I look at him it’s no longer panic he sees on my face, but excitement instead. My wheels are spinning.

  “I need a tool belt,” I blurt out. “And I really want to use a nail gun.”

  I hear Matt groan in the back seat and beside me Roar sighs deeply. Guess my guys don’t like the idea of me handling power tools, but they’ll just have to suck it up, because I can’t wait.

  Roar

  Fuck me.

  This has been a frustrating week.

  I know it takes time to get a project like this off the ground, but I’d hoped we could at least start knocking down some walls. That, however, requires the original building plans so we can make sure not to rip out a load-bearing wall or damage any pipes. Those plans, including any upgrades or changes Sam made since, are at Kline, Kline & McTavish, but they’ve been giving us the run around.

  My guess is Henry found out Leelo went to the big city to see a lawyer and he’s not liking the loss of her business.

  “You’ve reached Kline, Kline & McTavish. Our opening hours are nine to five, Monday through Friday. If you know your party’s extension, please dial it now. Or you can leave a message in our general mailbox.”

  I slam the phone down on my desk. I don’t even know why I tried, it’s not like I didn’t get the same damn answering machine all day yesterday as well.

  First time I called was Friday morning, and the woman who answered explained that I would have to speak with Henry Kline directly but sadly he was in meetings all day. That started a discussion around what might be a good time to call back and resulted in me losing my temper, at which time Leelo grabbed the phone and tried. She didn’t get much further, only able to leave a message for him to call her back as soon as possible. Of course that didn’t happen.

  By the time four thirty rolled around on Friday, we were back on the phone, only to be told Henry Kline had left for the day, and although he might pop in over the weekend, she couldn’t make any promises. We’d have to wait until Monday.

  It’s Sunday, and yesterday wasn’t so bad, with the arrival of a bunch of new guests at Jackson’s Point, but today pretty much sucks.

  Thank God Matt and I got our trucks back last week, because sharing one set of wheels between the three of us was getting old, and with his truck back, Matt’s been using the time to do some small projects at his new place. We haven’t seen much of him.

  Leelo has been hanging out here, with me, bored out of her gourd and therefore baking in my kitchen. I just hope my guests don’t think the baskets of muffins she delivered to each cottage this morning are the norm, because they’ll be in for disappointment.

  To top it all off, what was a small fire at the northeast edge of Lake Superior Provincial Park is steadily growing in size and moving fast. There’s a chance our small Wawa volunteer crew is going to be mobilized to assist and when that happens, it’ll be all hands on deck and that includes me. Timing sucks.

  I can smell her before I hear her. Cinnamon with the subtle undertones of banana. Her colourful arm comes around me, setting a plate on my desk with a thick, steaming slice of what I assume is banana bread, lathered with melting butter. I lean back in my chair until I can feel her body and she drops her arms over my shoulders, hugging me from behind.

  “Hey, Sunshine,” I mumble in greeting, dropping my head back so I can look up at her.

  “Hey yourself.” She smiles, before leaning in for a peck.

  When she starts to pull back, I raise my arm and catch my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her head back down. This time I kiss her properly, slipping my tongue between her lips and tasting her deeply. Cinnamon, banana, and Leelo. Fucking delicious.

  Without breaking the kiss, I swivel my chair around and with my other hand pull her onto my lap. Now I can have both my hands free to explore. Her hands come up, tangle through my beard, and along my jaw, before sliding over the short hair on my head. She gasps in my mouth when my fingers find her hardening nipple and lightly twist. My girl likes a little edge. Something I discovered when I slapped her naked ass getting out of the shower this morning. Her mouth, already swollen from taking my cock, fell open, and for a moment, I thought she was pissed, but the next thing I know, a deep flush spread over her chest and that pink little tongue of hers slipped out for a leisurely lick.

  “Honey,” she mumbles breathlessly and I love the sound of that word from her lips. She uses it more and more.

  “I want to strip you down, and have you ride me in this chair, those fucking fantastic tits bouncing in my face,” I growl, getting harder at the thought.

  It wouldn’t take much either. Already I have one hand shoved down the back of her shorts, my palm full of her glorious ass and fingers teasing her crack, while the other is kneading her tit under her shirt. Despite the flash of heat in her eyes at my crass suggestion, she puts a restraining hand in the middle of my chest, gently shaking her head.

  “Honey, it’s the middle of the afternoon, someone could walk into your office any time.”

  “We’ll lock the door,” I suggest, but she’s already leaning away, grabbing the plate off the desk where she placed it.

  “It’s not why I came in here. I need you to try this banana loaf.”

  I open my mouth to tell her I’ve already tasted it and deemed it delicious, but I don’t get a chance. She takes the opportunity to shove a piece of the bread between my lips. I have no choice but to chew.

  “It’s good,” I manage around the bite and barely swallow it when she pops another piece in my mouth.

  So it’s not hot bouncy sex in my office chair, but having Leelo sit on my lap and feed me her baking by hand is not altogether bad either. Until the phone rings.

  “Jackson’s Point,” Leelo answers, since I’m still chewing. “One moment, please.” She hands the phone to me, a concerned look on her face.

  “Got the call, Doyle. We’re heading out from the station in an hour. Don’t make me wait.” The chief hangs up without waiting for an answer or giving me a chance to ask any questions.

  This is the first time in a couple of years I’ve been called in. I’ve missed the adrenaline rush, and part of me is excited at the prospect, but I certainly don’t miss having to leave behind loved ones with only worry to keep them company.

  “Fire’s getting out of hand, Sunshine. I’ve gotta go.”

  I watch her close her eyes and take a deep breath in, exhaling through flared nostrils, strain already visible on her face.

  “I love you.”

  At least that’s what I think she says, I could barely hear it.

  “Leelo?”

  Her eyes pop open and she cups my face in her hands, leaning in so the tip of her nose is touching mine.

  “If you’re going out there risking your life, you should do it knowing that I love you.”

  I mirror her hold as I lift my hands to hold her face.

  “I know,” I whisper, pressing my lips against hers. “But it feels so fucking good to hear you say that.”

  TWENTY-NINE

  I’d forgotten how hard it was to miss someone—or did I ever know?

  Leelo

  “I’ll miss you.”

  It’s been four days since Roar mumbled those hurried words, his face buried in my neck as we were standing by his truck.

  He had only fifteen minutes left to get to the fire station. The rest of the time since he received the call was spent making arrangements to have Jackson’s Point looked after. Matt was on board, sticking around the lodge to see to any hands-on needs, and I got a crash course on his computer so I could access the booking site and emails. Patti would be by at her regular times, but Roar assured me I could call her with any questions. His last call had been to give Charlie a head’s up, and I promised
him I’d check in on her regularly. He had no idea how long he’d be gone.

  I didn’t expect him to reply in kind when I blurted out my feelings. I did that for me, because one thing I’ve learned in my years is that you never leave things unsaid. Life can be cruel, and I don’t want to be living with the regrets of missing a chance to let someone know how much they mean to me. I also don’t want to pretend I don’t know that his whispered “I know” and “I’ll miss you” convey he feels the same for me.

  Roar’s feelings for me are clear in his actions, it’s just a matter of recognizing them, and I’m learning.

  One such example is his request that Matt stay at the lodge as well, while he’s gone. Initially I’d balked, suggesting I’d be fine by myself, but now, after last night’s incident with a bunch of drunken guests disrupting the peace, I’m glad Matt was there to back me up. Sometimes my stubborn drive for independence gets in the way of common sense.

  “Mom,” I hear behind me and I turn away from the computer screen. “Gwen wants to talk to you,” he says, walking in holding out his cell phone.

  I haven’t spoke to Gwen since the incident with my ex last week, not really eager to get slammed with a regurgitated version of David’s interpretation of events. It would just cause more aggravation on both sides, which is why I’m reluctant to take the call.

  “Hey, love,” I greet my daughter anyway, since there’s no way I could’ve refused her or the puppy-dog face Matt is giving me.

  “We need to talk,” is the first thing out of her mouth, and I can feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up. Only the encouraging smile on my son’s face holds me back from reacting.

  “Sure,” I offer cautiously.

  “I have a week’s vacation coming up and I want to drive up.”

  My mouth literally falls open, torn between elation and sheer panic. My daughter is a city girl, who needs her creature comforts. Plus, she wasn’t impressed with the ink I had last time I saw her, so I’m a little concerned with how she’ll respond to the additions since then, let alone the blue hair. She can be quite critical of me.

  On the other hand, I love my Gwen, whatever way she comes, and I can’t wait to wrap my arms around my girl. If she’ll let me.

  “Of course,” my mouth says before my brain has a chance to process. Where the hell am I going to put her? The motel is a shambles right now, and I feel awkward putting her up at the lodge.

  “I’m staying at Matt’s cottage,” she volunteers, undoubtedly reading my mind. She’s good at that. “I hear he bought one.”

  That last was a bit of a dig, but I guess I’d be a little pissed off at being out of the loop too, if I were in her shoes.

  “He just did. Great, right?” When I don’t get a reaction I forge ahead. “So I guess he told you we’re staying at the lodge for now, right?”

  “Yes, Mom, I heard all about your man.” The last doesn’t sound very friendly, but I decide to bite my tongue. “And not just from Matt.”

  Ah, so I guess her father’s been in touch with her. It shouldn’t surprise me. He was always quick to launch complaints about me to the children.

  “I see. Is he back home?” I ask carefully and listen to Gwen sigh deeply on the other side.

  “Yes. Look, I really don’t want to do this over the phone, but that was a dick move by Dad, and had I known he was planning it, I would’ve given you a head’s up.” Another deep sigh and this time when she continues, I can hear a hint of vulnerability in her voice. “For the record, he wasn’t too impressed with me either when I told him as much.”

  Typical of David, when he doesn’t get the affirmation he expects, he’ll turn on you. I’m sure that must’ve been a sobering experience for Gwen, and I’d love to offer her my ear, but she’s right, this isn’t something to be discussed over the phone.

  “Sorry, sweetie,” I offer instead. “When are you coming up?”

  “I should be there early evening tomorrow.”

  “That’s a long drive, Gwenny,” I caution gently, knowing that she doesn’t usually take it well when I question her.

  “It’s fine, Mom. I’m leaving at the butt crack of dawn. I can drive ten hours,” she scoffs, as expected.

  “Just make sure you take regular breaks.” I can’t stop myself, it’s a mom thing and it works like a red flag on a bull with Gwen.

  “I said it’s fine,” she snaps, effectively cutting off any further concerns I might have.

  “Okay, love. Can’t wait to see you.” I don’t even try to tell her to drive safe, I assume she knows I’m thinking it though, as I hear a click on the other side.

  My daughter may have a bristly exterior, but I know her. I know most of that hard facade is a defense mechanism to protect her sensitive heart. She has difficulty trusting people, especially those who’ve already violated her trust once. Sadly I fall under that category. I let her down when I couldn’t be strong enough for me, let alone her and her brother. I guess, in a warped way, it’s a tribute to me that my transgressions felt so much more of a betrayal to her than the stunts her father pulled. I take it to mean I always had the power to hurt her more, and therefore she will make me work so much harder to win her trust back.

  But I will.

  Roar

  Jesus.

  I spit out the coffee, which tastes more like engine oil. It’s probably been sitting in that big thermos all day.

  A truck comes into the makeshift camp every morning, bringing bottles of water, sandwiches and coffee. If you don’t get a break until later in the day, like me today, the coffee tastes horrible, and if you’re lucky there’s only tuna on rye left. Nobody fucking likes tuna on rye. Especially not with the flavour of smoke permeating every bite, since it’s been sitting out all day.

  “Doyle!” I turn around to see Rick, our fire chief, head toward me. “How are you guys doing on that firebreak up on the ridge?”

  “Slow,” I tell him honestly. Our job since we got here on Sunday has been to try and contain the northeast edge. The winds have been mild and coming from the northwest, but according to the forecast, there’s a system coming through from the west that could drive high winds in north-easterly direction. Toward Wawa.

  The past five days we’ve been clearing brush and cutting down trees to create a four to six foot wide trench uphill from the fire. The plan is that if those winds turn, a backfire will be lit along the break. It’s easier to control than the main body of fire coming up the hill.

  I’d honestly expected to be home already. I’m too old for this shit. Every fucking muscle and bone in my body is screaming, and I’m dying to take in a deep breath that is not thick with smoke and ashes. I’m rank too. Fucking five days of splashing yourself at the back of a water truck, with cold water dribbling from a little tap, is not very effective.

  “We don’t have much time,” Rick reminds me, not that he needed to, I know damn well the kind of time constraint we’re working under. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can miss you on Saturday. Looks like the system is moving faster than we thought, it could get here as early as midday on Sunday. We’ve gotta get that firebreak done, Doyle. I’m sorry.”

  It isn’t really a surprise, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a disappointment. I’d wanted to surprise Leelo on Saturday, help out with the new guests checking in, but it looks like that’s not gonna happen. Worst part is that I don’t seem to have cell reception here. No towers nearby. Not that it matters, the battery ran out on my phone two days ago.

  The chief has a satellite phone but that’s kept open for communications. He just uses it to check in with the fire station in Wawa every night. He did pass a couple of messages for us through the dispatcher there, who in turn relayed it to our families, mainly just letting them know everyone is fine.

  I pull my sleeping bag in the shadow of one of the smaller trucks used to transport firefighters, and lie down on top of it. It’s too hot to crawl in, and I pull a T-shirt over my face to block as much of the light as possib
le. It doesn’t really matter what time of day or what conditions, when you have a chance to sleep, you take it. There’s no telling when the next opportunity will come along.

  I don’t fall asleep right away though. My thoughts are on Leelo. I want to hear her voice, want to know how she’s holding up and what is happening at the lodge. I really fucking wanted to see her this weekend.

  I shouldn’t have left without telling her I love her, too.

  Leelo

  “It’s done, Mom,” Matt says, handing me the first few of the building permit applications he’s been working on. These are for the three added cabins along the water’s edge.

  Roar had shown him the drawer in his office that held all the blueprints for the cabins at Jackson’s Point, as well as copies of the permit applications he had to submit at the time, and told Matt to “have at it” while he was gone. I’d been surprised, and Matt a little flustered, with the show of trust, but once my son got over his initial shock, he dove right in. It’s amazing what a little show of faith can do for someone’s confidence.

  My boy has only been here a few weeks but he is flourishing.

  “So what now?” I ask, unsure what is expected of me in addition to my signature at the bottom.

  “Not sure,” Matt says. “But I think it’s safer if you drop them off yourself. I can stay here and man the office.”

  “I’ll get some more groceries too, we’re running low. Let me make a list.”

  This would be the third time already I go grocery shopping this week. Matt’s appetite hasn’t waned yet, and I want to replenish what we use up. I have no idea when Roar is going to get back and I don’t want him to find empty cupboards. From what I understand from the updates I get from the firehouse, they’re still battling to get the fire under control.

  Now that I have Gwen on her way, I should probably grab some stuff that she likes as well. Matt is a meat and potatoes kind of guy, but my girl has slightly more refined taste buds, so I cater to her on those very rare occasions where I can. Matt couldn’t care less. Like I said, as long as it’s got enough meat and carbs, he’ll eat anything.