A Change Of View (Northern Lights Book 2)

by Freya Barker

  “Duh,” Matt replies. “We’ve got to eat, too.”

  Forty-six years old, and I find myself sitting in bed, bracketed by a kid on either side, sharing pancakes and bacon. Already it’s the best birthday I’ve had in years.

  I’m about to tell my kids so, when suddenly Ace, who snuck in behind them, jumps up and runs out of the room, barking. Matt moves to get out of bed when a dark shadow fills the door.

  Literally.

  He’s barely recognizable with all the black crap covering him, but that doesn’t stop me from leaping out of bed and launching myself in his arms, completely forgetting about the kids.

  “Happy Birthday, Sunshine,” Roar’s familiar voice rumbles in my ear as he gingerly lowers me to my feet.

  I’m to busy kissing his face to respond.

  “Baby, I stink and there’s two more people in my bed, staring at us.”

  “Are you okay? Tired? Do you need something to eat? I can make more bacon,” I rattle off, but I can’t stop myself.

  “Leelo,” he stops me sternly. “Maybe introduce me first? I’m thinking this is Gwen?”

  I swing around to find Matt popping the last of the bacon in his mouth, grinning widely, while Gwen has her arms folded over her chest and her head tilted to the side, watching with cautious curiosity.

  “Shit. Right, okay. Roar, this is my daughter Gwen. Gwenny, meet Roar Doyle. Actually, it’s Riordan, but he’s called Roar. Or Doyle. I guess whatever works for you.”

  “Mom? You’re rambling,” Gwen kindly points out, with a smirk, and Roar chuckles behind me. “Nice to meet you, Roar,” she adds. “Although, I still have no idea what you look like, seeing as you’re covered in guck.”

  “Right, I should probably grab a quick shower. It’s been a while.”

  “That’s our cue, Sis,” Matt announces, jumping out of bed. “Let’s go cook up some more breakfast, I’m guessing Roar might be hungry.”

  Gwen follows him right past us out the door, throwing a little smile in my direction before she turns to her brother and stage whispers; “Judging by the way he looks at Mom, breakfast may not be the only thing he’s got an appetite for.”

  Roar

  “I won’t be long,” I promise, pressing a kiss to Leelo’s mouth. It’s been six days and there’s nothing I’d rather do than have my way with her, but I’m filthy and I reek, her kids are around, and my time is very limited before I have to head back. With any luck, I can be home maybe Monday.

  I strip out of my dirty clothes and step into the shower, groaning when I feel the strong warm stream of water hit my parched skin. God, that feels fucking fantastic. With my forearms leaning on the shower wall, my forehead between them, I let the water pressure massage my neck and shoulders, feeling the tension slowly ebb, leaving a dull ache in its wake.

  I don’t move when I hear the shower door open and feel Leelo slip in behind me. I don’t object when I feel her soapy hands on my back, washing away a week’s worth of dirt and grime. I groan, feeling her fingers dig and her nails scrape my skin, followed by soothing kisses from her sweet lips. When her arms slide around me to the front, I feel her body bracing mine from behind. Soft pliable curves that gently cradle my battered body, as her hands wash my chest and stomach, before sliding down further between my legs. With one hand massaging my balls, and the other firmly wrapped around my rock hard cock. I drop one hand over hers to still her stroking.

  “You don’t have to,” I say, my voice hoarse with fatigue and need.

  “I want to,” she assures me, her soft voice brushing my back.

  I don’t resist and let go, completely and quite literally in Leelo’s hands, I have no reserves. It takes her no time at all to have me shooting cum over her hand and the wall, my breathing ragged and laboured, and my knees near to buckling.

  I let her minister to me as she washes my hair, guides me out of the shower and dries me off, and finds me clean clothes to wear. I’m little more than a rag doll.

  “There are so many words I want to give you,” I tell her when I find my voice again. I watch her turn around from dropping my dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. “Much I want to say. That I’ve wanted to say. This morning I was out in the gully we’ve been clearing and I couldn’t see the stars anymore. It scared me.” She slowly moves toward me, taking the hand I’m holding out and I pull her between my legs. “Not because of the smoke getting thicker and the fire closing in, but because the stars made me feel connected to you. Reminding me that you were close. It’s strange how detached you become from everything when you are out there, fighting this bitch. It demands all your attention, needs all of your focus, and sucks up all your energy.” I drop my head between her breasts and her hand finds the back of my head, holding me in place. “It used to be it didn’t matter. The ultimate rush of adrenaline made it all worth it. But that has changed. This will be my last fire. I won’t let myself be scheduled on the reserve list again. I’m done. I want to give you my attention, my focus, and all of my energy.”

  “Love you.”

  I hear her clearly this time, and pressing my lips to her stomach, I lift my eyes so I can look at her. I carefully move her aside and walk into my closet, grabbing the glass jar from the top shelf.

  “And I you,” I tell her, handing her the jar. “My birthday gift to you is all the reasons why.”

  THIRTY-ONE

  Her light filling my eyes, I would die a happy man.

  Leelo

  “You okay, Mom?”

  The second best birthday present is my daughter slipping her arm around me, as I watch Roar’s taillights disappear, in an uncharacteristic show of affection. I swallow hard, already on the verge of tears with hormones all over the fucking place, and another year older, with my guy heading back into danger, and my girl being all nice.

  “I’m good.” My voice sounds strangled as I force the words out, squeezing her hand resting on my shoulder.

  “I still need to talk to you.”

  “I know, Sweetie, just give me a couple of minutes, all right?”

  “Sure,” she says easily, removing her arm from my shoulders and I instantly feel the loss. “Matt and I were going to head into town to pick up some supplies for dinner anyway. We can talk while he and I cook?”

  I smile in response and watch as they too drive off. I turn away and walk back into the lodge to grab another ice tea. It’s starting off a hot one today, but there’s a stiff wind blowing that comes along with a cold system that’s supposed to be rolling in. As is usual, the instability will probably cause thunderstorms to pop up, and I just pray that we’re spared any more damage anywhere. I try not to think what it could mean for those men battling that fire, but according to Roar this weather change might be a blessing.

  It’s been a great birthday. Best in a long time, and it’s not even over yet. I got everything I wanted. Fuck, I got more than I deserve. Both kids here, doting on me and helping out this morning, clearing the cabins so I could spend some time with Roar before he had to head out. It was interesting to see him and Gwen dancing around each other. Sizing each other up. Both protective of me but in different ways. Hopefully, there’d be more time for them to get better acquainted later this week.

  Then of course there’s that jar. So tempting to hide out in the bedroom and dump the contents on the bed, reading each snippet of paper at leisure. But Roar asked me to wait until bedtime tonight, so he’d know I was reading them. Like I’m going to refuse a request like that?

  The sign in for new guests is at three, but according to Patti, who’s been cleaning cabins all morning, they often arrive early. It’s barely one thirty and already someone is driving up in a pickup, toting a boat. I hold the door to the office open, waiting for the portly guy who is jogging toward me.

  “Afternoon,” he says with a big grin.

  “Hi there. Come in, you’re a little early, but depending on how far housekeeping is, we might be able to get you settled in. What name is the reservation under?”
>
  “Porter. Jeff Porter, been coming up here for damn near twelve years now.”

  I hear a distinct American accent but I’m not sure if I can place it.

  “Where are you from, Jeff?” I ask, as I log into the computer and pull up his reservation.

  “Saginaw,” he says with a smile. “Not the prettiest city in the state of Michigan, that’s for dang sure. That’s why once a year; we take the easy six or seven hours straight up the 75 and stay at Jackson’s Point for a week. Been knowing Doyle all this time. He around?”

  “Sorry, we’re hoping he’ll be back soon, but he’s helping fight that forest fire along the highway? You probably passed it on your way up.”

  “No shit? Pardon my French.” He chuckles sheepishly. If only the man knew how much I swear, to my daughter’s great distress. “Say, are you new here?” he asks, looking a little suspiciously at my ink. “There was usually a pretty blonde here when we checked in. Penny? Always wondered if there was something going on between—”

  “Patti is the name. Close enough though, Jeff,” she says from right behind him, throwing her arm around his shoulders. “And no, Doyle and I just are old friends, but Leelo here, she’s his fiancée,” she elaborates a tad introducing me, throwing me a saucy wink.

  “Well, I’ll be damned. Fiancée. Huh, I never would’ve pegged Doyle for—”

  “You know what?” Patti interrupts him again; before the man has a chance to put his other foot in, something he seems particularly talented at. “I knew you’d be early, since you are every year, so I finished your cottage first. It’s all ready for you.”

  “Yes, of course. Much obliged.” He tugs at the bill of his cap. “And nice to meet ya, Lili.”

  I just wave, because really, what can you say to that?

  “Sorry about that!” Patti comes back in, minutes later, after showing Jeff out. “He’s a bit of a redneck, but he’s really a decent guy. His wife is nice, too. He just isn’t the smoothest, so when I saw him pull in, I ran as fast as I could.”

  “Tattoos and blue hair are clearly not his cuppa,” I observe, chuckling. “And you have to admit, Roar and I are not exactly an obvious match.”

  Patti tilts her head to one side, scrutinizing me closely.

  “You know what? Maybe not, but I’ve seen you together, and it works.”

  -

  It’s near five when Gwen comes looking for me and finds me still in the office.

  “Is everyone checked in?”

  “All but one. Not sure when they’ll be here and Patti had to leave, so that’s why I’m waiting,” I explain.

  “Well, come and wait in the kitchen. We can see through the window if someone pulls up. I have a bottle of wine with your name on it.”

  I smile at my girl, turn the computer and the lights off, and follow her through the foyer and into the kitchen, where Matt is doing his best to massacre fresh asparagus.

  “Jesus, Mattie. I said chunks, not minced,” Gwenny scolds, as she takes the knife from his hands. “If you want to mince, grab that little jar with the truffle, and take half of that. The other half can go back in the jar and in the fridge.”

  “Truffle?” I ask, an eyebrow raised. My daughter, who never ate more than a handful of things growing up, has turned into a regular gourmet cook.

  “It’s a truffle, asparagus, and mushroom risotto with asiago cheese.” I catch the little curious glance she shoots me, hoping to catch a reaction.

  “Colour me impressed,” I say, smiling big. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such a fancy birthday dinner.”

  “Don’t worry, Mom,” Matt pipes up. “There’s lots of meat, too. She has two bacon-wrapped pork tenderloins in the oven.”

  My boy. A meal is not a meal unless there is meat. And lots of it.

  “Two? For just the three of us?”

  “Four actually, I promised Charlotte I’d pick her up. Besides, I don’t see a problem,” Matt says. “It’ll make for a great midnight snack.”

  I warm at the thought of the kids arranging for Roar’s mother to join us for my birthday dinner, as I watch Gwen throw a little look of concern in his direction before looking back to me, a light blush on her cheeks.

  “Actually,” she says. “I thought since your guy is not here, and we are using his kitchen, it might be nice to save him some of your birthday dinner too. I can easily freeze it.”

  “That’s really thoughtful. I think Roar would appreciate that.”

  “Yeah, well, whatever. If it gets eaten, it gets eaten,” she responds, making both Matt and I laugh out loud, because it’s so typical.

  “God forbid we think you’re doing something nice, right, Gwenny?” Matt teases.

  “Shut up.” She tries to keep a straight face, but loses miserably, soon laughing right along with us. But it isn’t long before her expression sobers. “So, since my rep is busted anyway, I might as well rip the Band-Aid off completely and tell you I’m sorry, Mom.”

  “About what, Sweetie?”

  “Dad’s a prick. He’s always been a prick, to you anyway, and I know that. I just...well, I guess I just didn’t realize how big of one. First the stuff with Mattie and then driving up here to give you a hard time. I mean that’s seriously messed up.”

  “Yup. It is, but that’s not your cart to tote,” I tell my daughter. “It’s his. I don’t want you apologizing for your father. Not ever. Just like I don’t want you apologizing for me either. Not your monkey, honey.”

  “Yeah, but, Mom, how can he do that? Say that shit to you, and to Mattie? That’s his son. And you’re the mother of his kids. It’s not right.”

  I can tell she is getting agitated so the hug I wanted to give her, I’m putting on hold. Instead I give her some reality.

  “I remember one of the hardest realizations I ever came to was when I discovered my parents weren’t perfect or infallible. God, you’ve met your grandma and her collection of exes. We all mess up. We all do stupid things. There’s no doubt in my mind you two will fuck up on a regular basis, just like the rest of humanity.”

  “Hey, I resemble that remark!” Matt interrupts jokingly, and at the same time I get a stern “Language!” from Gwen.

  “Your father was always good at making it look like he had all his ducks in a row, and a lot of the time he did, except when he didn’t. Maybe that’s where we were fundamentally different; me so blatantly fallible, it clashed with his sense of perfection. Who knows? Point is, we’re here, we got through, and we’re all trying to find our way. Just because your father and I happen to be a few years older doesn’t mean we’re not looking, just like the two of you.”

  “You’re pretty smart for middle-aged, wannabe sideshow headliner.” The look on Gwen’s face as she delivers that line, with a saccharine smile, has Matt doubled over laughing.

  “Hey!” It’s my turn to protest her jab at my hair, my ink, and my choice of clothing, none of which she’s a big fan of.

  “Mom’d be a great addition to any travelling carnival,” Matt taunts, grinning. “She’s like a multifunctional attraction.”

  I sit back and take a sip of my wine as my kids proceed to roast me, while they cook me a gourmet birthday dinner. There are worse things, I smile to myself

  “How do you figure?” Gwen bites.

  “Blue-haired lady, tattooed lady, pinup of the month,” Matt ticks off on his fingers. “And her newest act: bearded lady.”

  Immediately my hand goes to my chin where I’ve recently discovered a few pesky whiskers I keep trying to pull.

  The kids are still laughing loudly when my phone rings.

  “Hello?” I get up and out of the kitchen to hear who is on the other line.

  “Ms. Talbot. It’s Henry Kline calling.”

  “Mr. Kline? What can I do for you?”

  “A little bit embarrassing on two accounts, I’m afraid. One; I was sorting through some boxes in my home office today and I found the drawings for the Whitefish, and two; I’m standing outside the motel but
no one seems to be here.”

  “Oh, yes, no, actually, I’m staying...up the road.”

  “In that case, why don’t I drive up to meet you?”

  “You know what?” I make a split-second decision. “Stay put, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Don’t go anywhere.”

  I push back from the kitchen table and face my kids who are both looking at me curiously.

  “You’ll never guess,” I say, mostly for Matt’s benefit, since I haven’t had a chance to fill Gwen in on all the details surrounding the motel. “That was Henry Kline. He found the drawings. He’s waiting at the motel.”

  “Why?” Matt asks right away.

  “He seemed surprised I wasn’t there,” I clarify.

  “Okay, I’ll go with you,” Matt offers, wiping his hands on a towel.

  “There’s no need for that. I’m just picking up the plans from him, I’ll be back in ten.”

  “I was about to go pick Charlotte up anyway,” Matt says, determined to follow me out it seems. “You’ll be all right for a bit, right, Gwenny?” he throws over his shoulder, already on the move.

  “Go right ahead!” Gwen calls after us. “I’ll just take care of the home front!”

  Matt trots up behind me when I get to the Jeep.

  “I’m just going to follow you there, wait for your thumbs up, and then I’ll head on to Charlotte’s. Okay?”

  “Do what you gotta do, Bud.”

  It’s not even that late, there’s plenty of daylight left when we hit the road. As promised, Matt is sticking to my tail, making me smile. Roar’s overprotective nature is starting to rub off on my boy and I’m liking it.

  When we get to the motel, I turn up the driveway and Matt stops at the bottom, letting his truck idle. Henry’s black Audi is parked in front of what is going to be the restaurant, but I can’t see him. Still, I pull in beside his car, get out, and give Matt the thumbs up. I wait until I see him slowly drive off, then I go in search of the lawyer.

  “Hello? Henry?”

  I try the door to the restaurant, but it’s locked and I wonder if he’s gone around the side of the house. I head around the corner, but I can’t see any sign of him.