by Lily Graison
“Then we’ll remedy that today.” Grace filled the remaining buckets and sat them on the stove to heat, excusing herself to run upstairs and find something for Ada to put on afterwards.
Rafe followed her into the bedroom and leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest. “You didn’t know about the baby?”
“No.” She picked a simple gingham dress from the clothes hutch and laid it across the bed. “Ada never mentioned her, and I had no reason to suspect she’d have a child. She’s so young.”
“I noticed.”
“Have you noticed the way she looks at you?”
“Like I’m about to jump out and grab her?”
“Yes.” He nodded and Grace straightened. “She’s not mentioned the father of the baby but with the way she’s been looking at you, it makes me wonder if—”
“Don’t.” Rafe shook his head as he looked at her. “Don’t jump to conclusions. The girl might just be wary of men in general and be uncomfortable around me because of it. No way to know unless we ask but I left the room because I could tell I was making her uneasy.”
Grace loved him all the more for it, too. He had no reason to welcome Ada into his home, but she was glad he’d not told her no. “She did mention her father and didn’t seem very please with him. Her wariness of you might be because of him.”
“Possible.”
“Did you see how tiny she is?”
“Which one?”
“Well, Ada looks like a strong wind would blow her over but I meant the baby. Ada says she’s a couple of weeks old but she's small enough to be a newborn.”
“Think something may be wrong with her?”
“I don’t know.” Her stomach twisted at the thought. “She cried wanting to be fed before I came up here but it sounded weak. I'm not sure how long Ada has been on her own, or what she’s been through, but I think they might both need to see Evan, just to make sure they’re all right.”
Rafe didn’t disagree, nor did he complain about the fact he’d have to pay for the doctor visit. “We’ll take them into town tomorrow.”
Her heart clenched at his words. She picked up the dress and petticoats and crossed to where he stood. “I love you.”
Rafe grinned. “How could you not?”
The laughter that one tiny remark caused seemed to ease a burden off her soul that she wasn’t even aware was there. She headed back downstairs, taking the clothing into the bathing room, then filled the tub with the warmed water, setting the scented soaps and wash cloths near enough to reach. When the bath was ready, Ada handed her the baby without a word and shut the door to the room behind her.
There alone in the kitchen, Grace stared down at the tiny girl in her arms and some secret place in her heart filled with joy. The baby opened its eyes and looked at her, her blue irises so much like her mother’s. Josephine … the name suited her perfectly.
Crossing to the table, she sat and pulled the tattered shawl away from her body. She wore a faded gown and a bundle of cloth was tied around her bottom. She was still rather small but had ten toes and ten fingers, her skin pink enough she looked healthy despite her size.
Grace covered her up and brushed back her silky soft hair with her fingers. She’d imagined doing this for so many years. So many dreams had been built around doing nothing more than cuddling a sweet baby of her own in this very kitchen, and all the pain she’d felt for those broken dreams were being eased as she held this tiny baby. Josie wasn’t hers but for a moment, she could imagine that she was.
Movement near the doorway brought her head up. Rafe was watching her, a sad expression on his face.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.” She shifted in her seat. “You’re thinking I’m going to get attached and be heartbroken all over again when Ada decides to leave.”
“Well, the thought had entered my mind.” He crossed to where she sat and pulled out one of the chairs. Leaning forward, he propped his elbows on his knees and stared down at Josie. He smiled as he watched her, his voice soft as he said, “I was actually thinking, how beautiful you are.” He reached out and took Josie’s hand. “We’ve lost three babies and only the Lord knows why but you were meant for this Grace. The look on your face—” He smiled up at her. “You are supposed to be a mother, and if you want to see a medicine man, then I’ll risk life and limb and take you into Indian territory to see one.”
Tears filled Grace’s eyes but before she could reply, Ada cleared her throat. The dress she’d been given to wear was too large and was several inches too long. Ada’s hair was wet and hanging over her shoulders, and seeing her like that, she looked like a child, not a girl old enough to have a child of her own.
“Can I lay down until supper is ready?”
Grace started to stand but Rafe placed a hand on her shoulder before she could and got to his feet. “I’ll show you to the guest room.”
Ada’s eyes widened.
“It’s all right, Ada. You are perfectly safe here. No one will ever harm you.” She didn’t look as if she believed her but when Rafe turned and left the room, Ada followed him without a word.
Chapter 5
To Grace’s surprise, Ada asked if she’d like to hold the baby and she’d had to restrain herself from snatching her from the girl's arms. The ride into town was made in silence, everyone content in keeping their thoughts to themselves, herself included.
She’d laid awake half the night. Every time Josie cried, she’d had to force herself to stay where she was, but the desire to go to her was strong, especially after the way Ada had acted at supper. She’d been more than happy to let Grace hold Josephine, not that she minded. She’d eat cold food for the rest of her life if it meant she could hold that precious baby just a little while longer.
It took hours for Ada to stop looking as if she were ready to jump out of her skin when Rafe was in the room with them. She still wasn’t sure what the story with that behavior was but she’d find out, eventually.
Evan greeted them with a smile when they stepped into his office. That smile faltered when he saw Ada and the baby still nestled in her arms.
Evan gave them a polite smile. “Rafe, Grace, what a pleasant surprise. Nothings wrong, I hope.”
“Nothing that we’re aware of,” Rafe said. He motioned to Ada with a slight tilt of his head. “This is Ada. She’ll be staying with us for a little while and this,” he said, looking at the baby, “is Josie, Ada’s daughter.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ada.”
Ada looked away, her gaze searching out and finding Grace’s before she offered a very quiet, “Hey.”
Grace straightened and placed a hand on Ada’s shoulder. “Do you have time to give these two a look over? I don’t think anythings wrong but we’d like to make sure.”
Ada had protested the need to see a doctor, but when Grace told her Josie looked too small to be several week’s old, she'd seemed alarmed enough to agree to the visit without another word.
Evan gave Ada a friendly smile and said, “Is it all right if I hold your baby?” The girl nodded. Grace handed her over then took a step back.
Evan’s office was partitioned off by a large curtain hanging from the ceiling. He showed Ada to the table behind it and spoke to her in a tone so soft, Grace had a hard time hearing what was being said. Long minutes ticked by before Ada stepped out from behind the curtain. “Can you hold her?”
“I’d love to.”
Ada handed her the baby and stepped back around the curtain. The chairs in Evan’s office weren’t the most comfortable but Grace sat with Rafe at her side for so long, her bottom began to go numb. When Ada finally reappeared, Evan smiled at them both as he crossed to his desk and sat on the edge.
“They both look to be a bit malnourished, but other than that, I think they’re both perfectly fine.”
Grace sighed in relief. She glanced at Ada, then down at Josie. “The baby cries a lot and it s
ounds weakly. Is that a bad sign?”
“No. Not all babies are loud.” He grinned. Alex’s twins were screamers. Not a person in town hadn’t heard the two of them. “As far as the crying, she may not be getting enough nourishment.” He looked at Ada. “Given your diet as of late, you’re probably not producing enough milk for her. You could try bottle feeding her at night to see if that helps. Cow or goat milk should work fine.”
They stood and Rafe told her and Ada to head to the mercantile while he settled up with Evan, and Grace ushered them outside. They were halfway down the sidewalk before she realized she hadn’t handed the baby back to her. “I’m sorry, Ada. Would you like to have Josie back now?”
Ada paused a moment then shook her head. “Nah. You can hold her.” A thoughtful look crossed her face. “Unless you don’t want to, of course.”
“Oh, no! I love holding her. It’s my pleasure.”
“You don’t have any kids of your own?”
Grace adjusted the blankets around Josie and smiled, the sense of melancholy she lived with so long not quite so consuming when she thought of her babies. “No. None of them lived.”
“How many did you have?”
“Three. They didn't survive long enough to even be born, but the pain of losing them was as real as if they had been.” She smiled at Josie. “Rafe’s brother and his wife have twins so I get to spoil them every chance I get.”
They paused to let a group of ladies pass, nodding at them before continuing down the sidewalk. She saw Ada look at her out of the corner of her eye. “Is something wrong?”
“No. Just—I overheard you and your husband talking. Are you really going to see an Indian?”
Grace smiled. Most everyone she knew was afraid of the Indians. To some degree, she herself was, if truth be known. “Possibly.”
“Your husband said it was about a baby.”
Grace inhaled a breath, then let it out slowly. “We were told there was a medicine man who had helped a few women who were having trouble having babies. We’ve discussed seeing if there was something that could be done about our problem.” Saying it out loud, Grace knew how Rafe must have felt when she’d told him. It was a ridiculously risky thing to do. Going into Indian territory to seek them out was dangerous. They didn’t take kindly to strangers, and she had no doubt, the trip would be costly. Hiring a guide to take them, someone who could speak their language? Was it worth the risk?
When they reached the mercantile, Ada stopped and looked inside. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to be in there.”
“Nonsense.” Grace knew exactly why Ada didn’t want to go in but standing outside in the cold was unacceptable. “Just stick by me and you’ll be fine.”
Mrs. Jenkins smiled in greeting when she walked in but the expression on her face changed the instant she saw Ada. “You—”
“—Mrs. Jenkins,” Grace said, “I’d like you to meet Ada.” She turned to the girl and put an arm on her shoulder. “She’s staying with Rafe and I.”
Mrs. Jenkins narrowed her eyes and looked between her and Ada for long moments. “She puts anything in her pockets, I’m adding it to your tab.”
Grace nodded her head. “Very well.” She ushered Ada further into the store, browsing the isles until she found a collection of baby items. Knitted blankets and sweaters were tucked in with linen squares for diapering, and even though Grace had more things than she’d ever need for a baby, she couldn’t help but grab a few items.
The mercantile had almost everything one could ask for, even a baby bottle or two. Dust covered them both they’d sat on the shelf so long but it wasn’t anything a little warm water and soap couldn’t take care of. She tucked them into her basket, alone with the other baby things as the bell above the door clinked. Rafe walked in, his head turning left, then right as he looked for them, then headed across the store when he saw them.
“Find everything you need?”
“I believe so.”
He looked at Ada. “Is there anything you need?”
Her eyes widened—shocked he’d asked, if she had to guess—and shook her head, no.
“All right then, let’s get out of here and head back home.”
He paid for the things she’d picked out and even purchased a few sticks of peppermint, handing them all to Ada after he’d paid. Ada was blushing when he walked past her but Grace saw a tiny smile turn the corner of her mouth as they headed for the door.
The rest of the day was filled with baby bottles, baths and baby clothes. Grace wasn’t sure why Ada let her do all the things she herself should be doing but she never complained. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t done for Alex and Jesse’s twins daily for months when they were first born.
Rafe had brought the cradle he’d made for their babies back into the house and put it in the guest room.
“I think the warm milk was just what she needed.”
Grace nodded. “She does seem quite content now.”
Ada said nothing for long minutes, then looked up at her. “In case I haven’t said it yet, thanks for letting us stay here.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Ada. It’s a pleasure having you.” Grace watched her stare down at Josie and wondered what she was thinking. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“Just wondering if all new mommas feel inadequate or if it's just me.” She looked up, sadness filling her eyes.
“It’s not just you.” Grace settled on the edge of the bed. “Alex, she’s my sister-in-law, she has twins and she’s several years older than you. She said pretty much the exact same thing to me so no, most new mothers feel like there’s more they should be doing.”
Ada met her gaze across the room. “My pa sold me off to one of his friends.” She nodded to Josie with her head. “That’s who her pa is. A man old enough to be my grandpa.”
Grace’s brow scrunched. “Sold you off?”
She nodded. “Married me off for a cow and a handful of chickens.” She scowled. “Can you believe that? What kind of man sells his own daughter for farm animals?”
It wasn’t funny but the corner of her mouth twitched moments before Ada grinned and shook her head. “Go ahead and laugh.”
“I will not.”
“You want to.”
She had her there.
Ada crossed the room to sit beside her on the bed. “I wasn’t a good wife, and he was mean to me. He even kicked me out of his house. I had nowhere else to go, so I went back home to my pa. When it was obvious Josie was on the way, my pa said he wasn’t supporting me and her both, so he told me to go back to my husband and beg him to let me stay. I hightailed it out of there and never looked back. I’m done with men telling me what to do.”
Well, that explained her odd behavior toward Rafe. The men in her life had all betrayed her and she apparently no longer trusted them. Grace patted Ada’s hand, then gave it a squeeze. “You won’t have to worry about any of that anymore. We’ll not sell you off for farm animals. I promise.”
For the first time since meeting Ada over a week ago, the girl laughed.
It was too dark to see the hands on the clock but it had to be well past midnight. Grace sat up and pushed the blankets away, glancing at Rafe when he grabbed her arm and sat up.
“Grace—”
“I’m just going to go check on her. That’s all.” She got out of bed and slipped her wrap on over her nightgown.
Rafe sighed and laid back down. She left their room and headed down the hall to the guest room. Josephine had been crying for what seemed like half the night and she wasn’t sure if Ada was having trouble feeding her or if something else was wrong.
The room was dark when she pushed the door open. Moonlight shined through the gauzy curtains and lit the space enough for her to see Ada wasn’t in bed. Grace hurried to the cradle and looked down at the baby. She was flailing her arms, her hands curled into tight fists. To say she was upset was an understatement.
“There, there, little one. What’s all this f
uss about?” Grace reached in to left her up, pausing when she felt the linens and blanket were wet. “So that’s what all this fussing is about?” Grace changed her by the light of the moon, then pulled the wet blankets from the cradle, putting cleans one back down with one hand. Josie was still crying when she put her back into the cradle but even dry clothing wasn’t enough to please her. Josie’s face was red from crying and didn’t look as if she was ready to stop screaming anytime soon. “Are you hungry?” Grace picked her back up. “Is that why you’re so upset?”
The blankets on the bed were mused but even in the low light she could tell Ada wasn’t there. Grabbing one of the blankets from the cradle, she covered Josie and headed down stairs. The milk from the previous morning was no doubt cold, and as long as it took to get the stove heated enough to warm anything, it was little wonder the baby was squalling like she was.
The kitchen was dark when she entered. Grace frowned before lighting the lamp on the table. The stove was still cold, so she clumsily tried to light it with one hand, bouncing Josie in her arm and making “shhing,” noises to try and calm her.
“What’s wrong with her?”
She jumped at the sound of Rafe’s voice. “She’s hungry, if I had to guess.”
He took the matches from her and lit the stove, then grabbed one of the shallow pots to warm the milk. “Where’s Ada?”
“I thought she was down here but seeing how she isn’t, I’m going to guess and say outhouse.” She grinned. “She did eat enough for three people at supper.”
Grace pulled a chair away from the table and sat down, jostling Josie and talking to her softly to try to comfort her to no avail. When Rafe handed her a bottle long minutes later, and she held the nipple to Josie’s lips, the baby latched on and suckled as if she was starved.
“Is that what you wanted?” she asked her, grinning.
Rafe sat in the chair beside her, crossed his legs at the ankles and folded his arms over his chest.
“You don’t have to stay up.”
“And miss this?”
