by Lily Graison
“Not many men would want to sit with a screaming baby at one in the morning?”
“She’s not screaming now.”
They shared a smile while staring at one another. In another lifetime, this could have been them and one of their own babies but life had other plans it seemed.
Josie finished the bottle and fell asleep. Grace burped her, then bundled her in the blanket again. “Think we should check on Ada? She’s been out there for a while.”
Rafe stood and crossed to the small window that overlooked the back porch. “I don’t see a light.” He looked at the one on the table. “Surely she didn’t go out there in the dark.”
“Well, the moon is pretty bright tonight.”
“It doesn’t shine inside the outhouse.”
“That’s true.”
“She may have left the door open.”
“As if that would have been comfortable. It has to be freezing out there.”
“I’d imagine it is.”
“I’ll take the extra lantern out there and hang it so she’ll have it to get back with.” Rafe crossed to the pantry. Grace heard him rummaging through the shelves before he came back out, grabbed the lamp from the table and went back inside.
“Damnit.”
“What?”
“The lantern’s gone.”
“Oh, well, then I guess she did find it.”
“She found it all right. Along with a good portion of the food that was stored in here.”
“What?” Grace straightened in her seat, her pulse leaping as Rafe stepped back into the kitchen. “The food is gone?”
“All the bread you baked, the preserves, jars of vegetables and fruit—damn near half.” He set the lantern on the table and looked out the window facing the barn, mumbling a curse under his breath. “Barn door is standing wide open, too.” He grabbed his coat and his muddy boots from the porch, slipped them both on and slammed the door shut behind him.
Grace hurried to the window and watched his dark silhouette cross the yard. Her heart was racing by the time she saw him come back out and head to the house. When he stepped inside, the expression on his face was one she rarely saw.
“She took Duke!” He jerked his coat off and slammed it onto the hook. “How she got that beast to hold still long enough to saddle him is beyond me but he’s gone.”
The air left Grace’s lungs in a rush as she looked at him, her mind going in half a dozen directions at once. “She’s gone?”
“Looks like.” His jaw clenched. “She wiped out half the food we had and stole my damn horse. So much for being thankful for our hospitality.”
Josie let out a small coo and squirmed in her arms. They both glanced down at her, then looked at each other, undoubtedly thinking the exact same thing.
Ada was gone, and she’d left her baby behind.
Chapter 6
The ride into town was strained. Rafe was still fuming at the fact Ada had taken Duke. The food was easily replaceable. So was the horse, but the bond between a man and his horse was a special thing. Ada taking Duke was hitting him hard.
Josephine had slept more peacefully once she’d been fed, and they’d moved the cradle into their room, dosing the fire in the guest room. She’d demanded to be fed come first light again and as much as Grace enjoyed tending to her, it felt as if some dark cloud hung over their head.
She didn’t know what Ada was thinking. Her taking the horse and so much of their food made it obvious she had no intention of coming back but she’d left Josephine behind. How could she just—leave her baby? Grace looked down at her, nestled in the blankets. Her little face looked peaceful. She had no idea what was happening, and neither did Grace. What were they supposed to do now? If Ada never came back did that mean—
Her heart thumped inside her chest so hard she felt winded by it. She’d longed for a baby for so many years, and even though she’d wished and prayed, she’d never really held any real hope that she’d ever hear anyone call her mother but … she looked at Josephine, her pulse dancing. If Ada never came back…
The streets in town were already busy. Rafe maneuvered the sleigh through the traffic and pulled to a stop by the jail, then hopped to the ground, came around to her side and helped her down.
Morgan Avery had been the marshal in town for as long as Grace had known him, and more often than not, he could be found walking the sidewalks and checking in at the various businesses or sitting in his office. Today was no exception. He was writing in a large book when they walked inside, but looked up when Rafe shut the door behind them.
“Rafe,” he said in greeting. He stood and nodded at her. “Grace. What brings you two by?” His gaze was drawn to the bundle in her arms and he smiled. “Did Jesse finally convince Alex to let someone watch those twins so they could have a bit of alone time? Holden said they were both going stir crazy confined indoors all winter with them.”
Grace looked at Rafe, their eyes meeting briefly before he pulled one of the chairs that sat in front of Morgan’s desk back for her to sit in. When she was settled, he loosed a deep sigh. “The baby isn’t Alex and Jesse’s.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and looked down at Josephine. “And she’s why we’re here.”
“Oh.” Morgan looked puzzled as he glanced at Josephine but eventually nodded at Rafe to continue.
“Grace saw a girl in town last week and had been leaving food for her. She said she believed she was living in the woods behind the mercantile.”
“Is this the same girl Mrs. Jenkins said was stealing from her?”
“More than likely,” Grace said. “The first time I saw her she was running from Mrs. Jenkins.”
Rafe nodded. “Grace looked for her when she found out all the girl had been taking was bread. When she couldn’t find her, she started leaving baskets of food in the clearing. She saw her by the creek two days ago and invited her home with her. What Grace didn’t know was, Ada, the girl she found, had a small infant.” He looked down at Josephine. “We took them both to see Evan yesterday, went home, had a nice supper and went to bed. The baby woke up early this morning crying and that’s when we realized Ada was gone. She took all the food she could carry and stole my horse but left Josephine behind.”
Morgan sat down and pulled a clean sheet of paper from his desk. “Can you give me a description of her?”
“Yes, but that’s not why we’re here.”
“Oh?” Morgan laid his pen down, a confused expression on his face. It cleared a moment later, his gaze falling on Josephine. “She left her baby behind. I see.”
“What do we do?” Grace asked, her pulse beginning to leap. “About the baby, I mean.”
Morgan scratched his jaw. “That’s a good question.” He looked at her and Grace knew what he was thinking before he ever said a word. There wasn’t a person in town that didn’t know she was childless and every failed pregnancy was juicy fodder for the gossips. An abandoned baby would be the talk of the town when they found out, more so when they learned it was left at her home.
The marshal leaned forward, clasped his hands together and stared at Josephine for long minutes, the only sound in the room that of a ticking clock somewhere behind them. Anxiety made Grace’s stomach clench as Morgan sat there and said nothing and by the time he finally looked up at them, she was ready to scream.
“Well, I can send word to the surrounding towns and have them be on the lookout for the baby’s mother and have her brought back here if found.” He glanced at Rafe. “You can press charges against her for stealing your horse and the food, if you wish. As far as the baby is concerned—” He sighed and shook his head, then shrugged his shoulder. “Someone has to look after her.” He met her gaze. “Is that something you can—”
“—Yes.” Grace interrupted him before he even finished talking. There were others in town who could watch Josephine, several who were nursing babies of their own, but she’d not let go of the precious little girl in her arms unless she was forced to. She blinked back tears as
the prospect of getting to keep her but didn’t allow herself to over think the situation. Ada would be found and brought back and more than likely, the baby would be taken away.
She looked down at her, her chest aching at the thought. After spending most of the night and all morning long tending to her, she already felt a bond. Letting her go would be hard.
Rafe gave Morgan a description of Ada, and of his horse, and the marshal said he’d send the notice out to everyone in the surrounding counties. As much as Grace hated the thought of Ada being out in the wilderness alone in the dead of winter, a small part of her selfishly didn’t want her found. If Ada never came back, then —
She cut off the line of thought instantly and stood. It was too early to start thinking such things. She’d had her heart broken enough as it was. Thinking Josephine would be hers forever only to have her snatched from her arms would be enough to break her and she’d lost enough already. She’d not set herself up for more heartache regardless of how much she wanted to.
An uneasy feeling had settled in the pit of his stomach, and regardless of how many times he told himself everything would work out fine, Rafe couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread.
Neither of them had said much since leaving Morgan’s office. Grace hadn’t done anything but stare down at Josie and fuss with her blankets or talk to her in soft tones. And seeing her do it gave him the worst sort of anxiety.
Grace’s desire for a baby had been a sore spot between them for over a decade now. He’d prayed and even begged she’d get pregnant again more times than he wished to recall but had finally given up. Her pain killed a small part of him every time he saw her cry, or found her under the aspen tree in the small cemetery plot at the back of their property. But now, it looked as if those prayers may have been answered. It wasn’t exactly what he’d been hoping for, but Grace’s arms were filled and for the first time in years, the strain of sorrow had lifted from her face.
It was well past noon when they reached the house. Grace raised her head and spent long minutes looking in every direction—looking for Ada, if he had to guess—and seemed to relax when she didn’t see her. She smiled at him when he pulled the sleigh to a stop.
“What would you like for lunch?” she asked.
“Whatever you fix will be fine.” He helped her to the ground and handed her the basket they’d packed Josephine’s things in. “Do you need any help with her?”
“No." She smiled while running the back of one finger over Josie's cheek. "We’ll be just fine. See to the animals and come in when you’re finished.”
Rafe watched her walk to the house, her head down. He couldn’t hear her but had no doubt she was talking to the baby and knowing she was, made that anxiety he felt kick up a few notches. If Ada returned and demanded Josie back, he wasn’t sure what Grace would do, nor what he himself would do. He’d not watch Grace lose another baby. She was already getting attached to Josephine. One simple look at her holding that little girl told him that. Having her taken away would devastate her and Grace’s pain would destroy him as well.
Lunch was a simple affair. Josie had wanted fed not long after returning home and between heating milk, feeding her and changing her wet bottom, Grace barely had time to scramble a few eggs. Rafe hadn’t complained, though, but he’d been very quiet through the meal. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking but feared she already knew.
He’d tell her not to get attached to Josephine, that Ada would more than likely come back and want her baby, and when she did, handing her over would break what was left of her fragile heart. And he was right. Losing Josie would break her heart but she’d survive like she had every other time.
She looked over at the large basket she usually used for laundry. She’d placed a blanket inside for Josie and set her on the chair beside her. She was sleeping, snuggled in one of the blankets she’d made and seeing her there, knowing she may get to keep her, made her so giddy with excitement it was all she could do to keep from crying from pure joy.
Rafe finished eating and pushed his plate back, then crossed his arms on top of the table. He met her gaze and held it for long moments before he looked at Josie. “If Ada comes back—”
“I know, Rafe.”
“Do you?”
She sighed. “As much as I’d like to think it was as simple as it seems, I know it’s not. Ada is young and I know she wants the best for her baby but I can’t believe she’d just leave and never look back. I’m trying to remain levelheaded about the whole situation.” She smiled and for once it reached her eyes. “I want her, Rafe. I’ll not lie and say I don’t. I want her more than anything, but I know getting wrapped up in the thoughts of keeping her when she can be taken away from us in an instant isn't healthy. We’ve lost too much as it is but—” She looked at Josephine, her heart aching with need to keep her. “Everything in me screams for me to hide her away. To refuse to give her back if Ada comes looking to retrieve her.”
He reached out and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. “If I had any say in the matter, I’d see to it that Josephine was a permanent part of our family, but I don’t know if Ada will be back so for now—” He looked at Josephine and sighed. “Try not to get attached, Grace.” He lifted his head and met her gaze. “I don’t want to see you hurt over this.”
Grace leaned forward and kissed him. “You’re a good man, Rafe Samuels, and I know you can soothe all the heartache in the world. You have for years. No matter what happens, I promise not to fall apart on you.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
She smiled at him. “I’ve buried three babies and I’m still here. If Ada comes back, I’ll survive losing Josephine as well.”
Chapter 7
Grace hadn’t felt so sleep deprived in her life but she wouldn’t trade a second of her sleepless nights for all the money in the world. She bounced Josie on her shoulder, trying to get her calmed, and hurried across the house to the door, opening it to find Alex and Jesse on the other side.
“Well, I guess the rumors are true.”
Grace smiled and stepped back to let them in. “And what rumors would that be?”
They gave her a look that said she knew what they were talking about and set their growing babies on the sofa. They both watched her as they removed their coats, smiling as she continued to bounce Josephine.
“When uncle Morgan said you had a baby, I made Jesse hitch up the wagon and bring me right over here.” She crossed to where she stood. “Let me see her.”
Grace shifted Josie so Alex could get a good look at her. The added voices in the room must have been enough to peek Josie’s curiosity because she finally stopped crying.
“Can I hold her?” Grace handed Josephine over to her. “Oh, what a cutie you are.” Alex ran a hand over Josie’s head and smiled. “And look at all this hair.”
Grace helped Jesse unbundle the babies from their blankets, spread them on the floor and placed them down to play. They sat for a whole two-seconds before they were up and toddling around the sitting room, grabbing anything they could get their hands on.
“She’s so tiny,” Alex said. “I can barely remember when mine were this small.”
Jesse snatched James up, swinging him in the air when he got too close to the fireplace. “Well, don’t be getting any ideas.” He tickled the boy, his childish laughter filling the air. “These two are more than enough to handle.”
Alex hugged Josie to her and smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m in no hurry for more.” She looked down at the bundle in her arms. “Besides, I have this little one to ease any baby-fever I might get.”
“Assuming she’s here long enough.”
They both looked over at her. “What do you mean?”
Grace shrugged. “There’s no guarantee we can keep her.”
“Her mother abandoned her. Of course you can.”
“And if she comes back?” Ada had been gone for two weeks and in that time, Grace had devoted every spare moment she had to te
nding to Josephine. She’d changed so much soiled clothing and bedding, and washed more laundry in a single week than she had in a full month before Josie arrived, that her hands felt permanently water logged, but she wouldn’t trade a single second of it. But—the fear Ada would return was still there. The thought never left her for long. “I can’t let myself forget that Josephine isn’t mine.”
Alex gave her a sympathetic smile. “Has Morgan given you any word about her being seen in any of the nearby towns?”
“No. Rafe or I ask every time we see him but so far there’s no news.”
“Well, that’s a good sign, right?”
She shrugged. “I suppose so but I feel like we’re just waiting for the inevitable.”
Rafe stuck his head in the front door to tell Jesse if he was finished gossiping with the ladies, he could use his help in the barn. When both men were gone, Alex handed Josie back to her and tried to keep her little ones from messing.
The afternoon was spent exactly how she’d imagined it would be when she and Rafe had a baby of their own and had company over. They talked and laughed and Jesse and Alex stayed for supper, her sister-in-law helping cook while Rafe and Jesse entertained the kids. Seeing Rafe tend to Josie caused Grace’s pulse to leap and made her heart flood with so much love, it was a physical ache in her chest.
When Alex and Jesse left, and the kitchen was clean, Grace heated half a bucket of water and poured it in the small tub, then stripped Josephine’s clothes off to bathe her. She was wet clean to her elbows by the time Rafe came back inside from seeing to the animals.
“You’re going to wash her skin off if you don’t stop bathing her so much.” He hung his coat and hat, then crossed the room to where she stood and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck and hugged her close. “I’m heading into town tomorrow to talk to Morgan.”
“Oh? What for?”
“I’m going to find out who we need to talk to about petitioning the courts for legal adoption.”
