Man Crush
Page 4
“No, I’ve been calm… relaxed. I feel good.” Sim’s mind rewound to the memory of Karl’s cum pulsing down his throat minutes before. His mouth twitched, aching to smile.
“That’s wonderful Simeon. Now, you understand that this is our final session and you will be discharged into the care of Dr. Neuhaus and your father?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“We have been very happy with the way you have responded to the treatment. Although there have been several setbacks, you have already begun to confront some very difficult personal issues.” The Dr. opened Simeon’s computer file and was silent for a moment as he scrolled through the medical notes. Simeon sat with his hands in his lap, his heart thudding with nerves.
“Tell me, what do you understand of your diagnosis?” Dr. Schroeder asked.
“Umm… I have an Addictive Personality Disorder”, Simeon replied softly.
“And what does that mean?”
“Issues with impulse control, addictive behaviors.”
“Correct, but it is more complicated than that. People who experience addictive personality disorders typically act on impulses and cannot deal with delayed gratification. You are very sensitive to emotional stress, and you have trouble handling situations you find frustrating, even if the event is for a very short duration.” The Dr. paused for breath; he glanced down at the tablet screen and then continued his appraisal.
“When you feel insecure and stressed, your mind has difficulty coping, so it reverts to unhealthy behaviors to blank out difficult feelings. In the past, you have chosen drugs, alcohol, and the internet. You understand now that you cannot revert to those behaviors anymore.”
“I know. I know I have a problem. I’m very lucky that I don’t have HIV or Hepatitis”, Simeon huffed petulantly in a sing song voice.
“That’s not the only issue,” The Dr. said seriously. “Simeon, you are only twenty-four years old, but you have the liver of a fifty-year-old.”
Simeon’s hand covered his mouth as he gasped. It was the first time he had heard this phrase The liver of a fifty-year-old.
“Any more alcohol will kill you,” The Dr. continued. “I cannot be any clearer than that. Your body has fared remarkably well, considering the abuse you have put it through, but this cannot continue. You have been given a second chance at life, Simeon. You have the choice to embrace it or destroy it.”
Sim’s eyes began to water as the weight of the Dr.’s words anchored in his heart and swirled in his head. He thought about the bad dreams he’d had in his first few weeks at the clinic. Of his Papa and Pieter standing at his graveside, shaking their heads in disappointment. The image had haunted him.
“Dr. Schroeder, I know I have many people who care for me. I don’t want to let anyone down again.”
“Simeon, you have to want to be well for yourself, not for anyone else. I believe you have every chance of living a long, healthy life, as long as you continue to open yourself to the treatment. Dr. Neuhaus will be living with you for the next three months to ease your return to normal life. We will continue with therapy sessions and devise a daily routine to give you some structure”, he explained.
Initially, Simeon thought the rigid routine of the clinic would bring out his notorious rebellious streak, but he’d found the institution strangely comforting. He looked forward to knowing he had to get up at seven a.m. run, and then spend an hour in the gym before a shower and breakfast. His meals were healthy and delivered on time. Choices were limited, and instead of feeling constricted by the rules, Sim submitted to them and took comfort in the mundane routine. He feared the real world now, the world in which there were innumerable choices and anything could happen. The world in which he could not partake in so many of the pleasurable distractions that he’d abused to escape his feelings. There would be no clubbing, no bars, no pills, and no booze. Simeon’s internet usage would be limited and monitored. He wanted to get better; he wanted to make amends and wanted to prove to himself that he was indeed worthy of this second chance at life—and of being loved.
****
READ SWEET THING HERE:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0753D1MDP
BOOKS BY ISOBEL STARLING
Shatterproof Bond Series
“As You Wish” (Shatterproof Bond #1) Novel M/M
Listen to an audio sample: http://adbl.co/2qnXRE4
“Illuminate the Shadows” (Shatterproof Bond #2)
“Return to Zero” (Shatterproof Bond #3)
“Counterblow” (Shatterproof Bond #4)
“Shatterproof Bond” series box set – The first three novels in one ebook download
COMING SOON
“Powder Burns” (Shatterproof Bond #5) Novel M/M
“Apple Boy” M/M Fantasy
SHORTS
“Man Crush”M/M Short
“Top Hat” (A Sam Aiken prequel) Short story M/M
“Silken” (An A.L.L. Sidestory) Novelette M/M, BDSM, “Fred & Ginger” M/M Christmas short story
“Back Where He Belongs” M/M Christmas Novella
“The Christmas Bonus” Christmas Short story M/M
Pretty Boy series
“New York’s in Love” (Pretty Boy Series #0.5) M/M
“Fall Together” (Pretty Boy series #1) M/F, M/M
“Sweet Thing” (Pretty Boy series 2) M/M
“Pretty Box Series Box Set”
Dick and the Sidekick series
“Detective Fox and the Christmas Caper” M/M Romantic Comedy Novella
****
TRANSLATIONS
German
“SILKEN”
“WIE ES DIR GEFHALT”
“LICHT IN DEN SCHATTEN”
French
“COMME VOUS VOUDREZ”
“ILLUMINER LES OBRES”
Italian
“AI TUIO ORDIN”
****
Audiobooks
“As You Wish” (Shatterproof Bond #1
Listen to an audio sample:
US: http://adbl.co/2qnXRE4
UK: http://adbl.co/2q36TU1
“Illuminate the Shadows” (Shatterproof Bond #2)
“Return to Zero” (Shatterproof Bond #3
“Counterblow” (Shatterproof Bond #4)
“Top Hat” (A Sam Aiken prequel)
“Detective Fox and the Christmas Caper”
All narrated by Gary Furlong
Also available:
“Silken” (An A.L.L. Sidestory) Novelette M/M, Narrated by Gomez Pugh
Available on Audible, Amazon and iTunes
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Isobel Starling spent most of her twenty-year professional career making art in Ireland. She relocated to the UK and, faced with the dreaded artist’s creative block, Isobel started to write and found she loved writing more than making art.
Isobel is currently working on her sixteenth book. The Shatterproof Bond series is an Amazon Gay Romance bestseller and is being translated into French with Juno Publications, German with Deadsoft Verlag, and Italian with Quixote Edizioni. The series is also available as audiobooks, narrated by Gary Furlong.
“Fall Together” and “Sweet Thing” will be translated into French by Reines- Beaux Publishing.
“Silken” is in audio, narrated by Gomez Pugh. “Silken” is also available as a German translation, and will be translated into Italian, and French in 2018.
****
https://www.decentfellowspress.com
Please sign up to my newsletter at https://isobelstarling.wix.com/books
https://www.goodreads.com/isobel_starling
https://www.amazon.com/Isobel-Starling/e/B00U1MKE5I
00%); -ms-filter: grayscale(100%); filter: grayscale(100%); " class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons">share