Tales from the Dead Man Inn

by Daniel Schinhofen

  Lilith’s eyes widened as she took the ring with shaking hands and slipped it on her hand, “My dreams, all of my dreams...” She broke down and began crying tears of joy.

  Sweeping her up into his arms, Alistern carried her out of the back room. He looked over at Stewart as they passed through the bar, “Ya got the bar. She said yes.”

  Stewart’s smile at his friend was tinged with sadness. “Have a good night, then.”

  ~*~*~

  The wedding was a very subdued affair, held in the Temple of the Dark Lord, with just their friends in attendance. Lilith spotted Mother seated near the back as she stood in the bridal group, waiting for Alistern to choose her. Mother smiled at her, and lifted one finger to her lips. Soon after the wedding, Lilith discovered she was pregnant.

  They named the first girl Stacia, spoiling her with attention. A year after her birth, Lilith got pregnant again. This one, they named Deirdre. Erin came next, giggling and sweet. A year after that, Marian was born, and the couple decided to stop having children for a time.

  Lilith raised her daughters as Mother had raised her, with loving words and kindness, supporting but not smothering them. Stacia was outgoing, happy to talk to anyone and helped with the customers. She often served in the Inn’s dining room once she got big enough. Deirdre was a bit more reserved, and spent her time mostly in the kitchen. Erin was outgoing, infectiously cheerful, while Marian took after Deirdre.

  When the first Two-souled showed up on Alpha World, Lilith felt certain that something big was coming, and that everything was about to change. Yet nothing much changed before the Two-souled all vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. Lilith became pregnant again with their last child, Emily. She was a sweetly precocious child, doted on by both her parents and all her sisters.

  Years later, the Two-souled began appearing again, in much greater numbers. Lilith knew that this time, there would be changes. She was surprised when Stacia came to her, excited and breathless, babbling happily about one of the Two-souled, a stranger called Alburet.

  “Aye child, if you want it, then we can attempt it,” Lilith told her daughter. Some days later, Stacia asked if she could undergo the ritual to embrace her Infernal heritage and become a bound Succubus.

  Bob’s Tale

  Bob sighed. They hadn’t been summoned to hunt today and he was bored. Frowning, he decided to go visit Tiny and was greeted at the door by Rachel, Tiny’s first wife. She ushered him into the main room and gave him a drink.

  Tiny came out of the back with a large smile, “Bob, how are you?”

  “Bored. Doesn’t look like we’ll be hunting today,” Bob said and sipped his ale. “And I don’t have three wives to distract me.”

  Laughing, Tiny’s smile broadened, “You might one day.”

  “Sure, and a Succubus Lady will take me to bed because I’m such a catch. I was hoping we could kill some time together today. Guys’ day out kind of thing... maybe hit the Worm races?”

  Tiny scratched at his chin. “That might work.”

  Bob rubbed his hands together and grinned, “Good, you can be my wingman today.”

  A soft chuckle from Rachel caught his attention. “Husband, go and help your friend. Just don’t bring anyone home with you.”

  “So shall it be,” Tiny rumbled, getting to his feet.

  Bob smiled at Rachel, “Thanks, Rachel.”

  “Have fun, and don’t let him spend too much on the races,” she replied as the pair walked to the door, leaving them to wonder which of them the comment had been directed at.

  ~*~*~

  Watching people trying to outrun the Worms was hilarious as always. Because no flying was allowed, no one could actually get away from them.

  Tiny only placed one bet, not wanting to upset Rachel. Bob spent more time trying to pick up the few Succubi in the audience than watching the races. After striking out for the fourth time, Bob gave up.

  “Let’s go, Tiny. Even with you here, I can’t get any action,” Bob groused.

  Back at Tiny’s place, Rachel served them a meal of Infernal stew and Infernal wine. They ate mostly in silence, savoring the food. Once they’d retired to the living room, the subject turned to their current master, Alburet.

  Tiny recalled the time that Alburet had been surprised by Karen. “That was funny, it was hard not to laugh.”

  Bob sat back, chuckling. “He isn’t bad for a master. I like him. If he would let me get a little more action from his friends, it would be even better.”

  Tiny rumbled, “Alburet is a good master. I remember some of the bad ones.”

  Nodding, Bob had to agree. “Sure. All of us who’ve had more than one know the pain of the asshole master. Darkness, even the Imp Lords know it. I still remember one of my worst… he called me Worm,” Bob leaned back, eyes clouded as he related the memory.

  ~*~*~

  Worm looked at the savage Lunari with a glint of fear in his eyes. “How can I assist you, master?” Worm asked, rubbing his hands together nervously.

  “You failed to kill the spiders fast enough yesterday. Weak, slow, and sniveling; that is what you are, Worm,” the Lunari snarled at him, “I should have chosen an Imp with more power.”

  “I am sorry, master,” Worm bowed low, all but prostrating himself before the Summoner. “If you will give me a chance to make amends—”

  Snarling, the Summoner spat, “One more failure and I’ll give you to Vinny to play with.”

  Vinny the Destroyer growled, “I will break him for you again, master.”

  Quint, the Lunari Summoner, just nodded absently at the Destroyer. “I know you will, Vinny. I am so close to finally getting a Succubus. There will be no dallying today. Follow and keep up, or else…”

  Worm kept his head down even as his lips curled in hatred. His voice came out as a whine, “As you wish, master.”

  Snorting, Quint walked away with Vinny close behind. Worm skipped along after them with clenched teeth. Today, they would be fighting the spiders out in the dunes. Worm hated the spiders. If Vinny didn’t get the spiders off him, it made it much harder for him to do his job, as their poison sapped mana regeneration.

  But Vinny loved watching Worm fail, because it meant he got to tear Worm limb from limb yet again, one of his favorite pastimes. Worm knew full well that Vinny would sabotage him if possible; he’d never met a more bloodthirsty Destroyer. If the Dark Lord was generous, he never would again, either.

  As the outpost disappeared behind them, Quint paused. “Okay, we know the spiders are ambush masters. Vinny will go first. Worm, you follow him. I expect the spiders to die quickly. Don’t fail me.”

  Worm wrung his hands, “I will not fail you again, master.”

  Snorting his disgust, Vinny started walking. “Imps. So weak and easily broken.”

  His lips curled in a silent snarl as Worm kept his eyes on Vinny’s back. He wanted to speak out, but knew Quint doted on Vinny. If he said or did anything, the Lunari would probably let Vinny kill him at the end of the hunt today regardless.

  A few hundred yards out onto the flat sands of the Spider Dunes, the group began to tense in anticipation. The sand to the left of Vinny erupted as a sand colored Dune Spider lunged out, sinking its fangs into Vinny’s leg.

  “For the master,” Vinny bellowed, bringing his sword down on the spider.

  Worm began to cast his Fire Blast as quickly as he could, silently hoping that Vinny would hold the spider so they could kill it fast.

  Quint watched Worm intently for a moment before adding in his own spells. Vinny growled as he bashed the Dune Spider off his leg with his shield, “I will slay you.”

  Worm couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling at Vinny. It was so cliché for a Destroyer to speak like that. He noted his mana dropping near half as he continued his barrage and hoped the spider would die soon. He knew Quint didn’t like to pause between kills.

  As Quint took a step to the left to get a better angle on the spider’s side, the ground behind him eru
pted as another spider came out, sinking its fangs into his back. “Vinny!” Quint yelled when the spider bit down.

  Spinning, Vinny left the Dune Spider he had been fighting behind. “I will save the master!” he shouted, charging at the mob on Quint.

  “I’ll kill the first one,” Worm mumbled, keeping up his attacks even as his mana plummeted.

  Quint let out a yowl as the spider bit his back again before Vinny could get to him. “Worm, kill this one first!”

  Knowing it was dumb, Worm snarled, following Quint’s orders and changing targets. His Fire Blast got there before Vinny and pulled aggro from the spider to him. The spider let go and dove into the sand at Quint’s feet, vanishing.

  “It is going to come for me,” Worm said as he began to look for signs of the spider re-emerging near him.

  “Vinny, kill the first one until the second comes back,” Quint snapped. “Worm, focus.”

  Gulping, Worm went back to the first Dune Spider, which was almost dead. As his next Fire Blast left his hand, the other spider reappeared next to him, bursting out of the loose sand. “Help,” Worm squeaked. He tried to dodge but failed, the spider sinking its fangs into his side. The poison coursed into his small frame as Vinny finally killed the first spider.

  “Useless Imp,” Vinny growled, seeing the spider on Worm.

  “Worm, keep attacking,” Quint snarled as he cast another Fire Blast at the spider.

  Knowing he was almost out of mana anyway, Worm began to beat at the spider with his fists. “Let me go!”

  “Why aren’t you casting?” Quint snapped.

  “Mana,” Worm whined. The spider let him go for a brief moment, only to sink its fangs in again. “Poison.”

  Vinny got there finally, taunting the spider off Worm. “I will hold it.”

  Quint seemed displeased with Worm as he cast another Fire Blast. “Use everything you have, Worm, or else.”

  Knowing it was pointless, Worm sighed and cast two more spells. It left him completely without mana, and since the poison debuff prevented him from regaining any, all he could do was throw himself at the legs of the spider. “No more mana,” Worm told them as he attacked, chewing at the legs.

  “Weak,” Vinny rumbled, his sword cutting another bloody gash into the creature.

  When the spider had finally died, Worm collapsed on the ground as the debuffs vanished and his mana began to regen. “It’s over,” he whispered.

  “Why are you so useless? Your loyalty was supposed to offset your low stats,” Quint stated.

  Looking up at the very unhappy Lunari, Worm cringed. “I do the best I can,” Worm replied. He knew that telling the Summoner he wasn’t improving his happiness because of the abuse wouldn’t end well for him. Nothing ended well for him these days.

  “Can I beat him now, master?” Vinny smirked at Worm.

  “Not right now. I’d have to wait to resummon him, and even his pathetic damage is better than nothing. Maybe later.” Quint looted the bodies and pointed further into the dunes. “That’s enough resting, let’s go.”

  Vinny nodded, walking off in front of Quint. Worm was left to scramble to his feet and hurry after them. Worm’s mana had barely returned before the next attack came. This time, three Dune Spiders all burst from the ground around them.

  Two of them appeared to either side of Vinny, the last sinking its fangs into Worm. With a surprised scream, Worm was knocked flat as the Dune Spider savaged him. Vinny ignored the scream as he got aggro on the first two.

  “Vinny, save Worm,” Quint sighed as he cast his first Fire Blast.

  Vinny grunted and bashed one of the spiders back, turning to target and taunt the third spider. Backing up, Vinny brought the trio of spiders into a clump in front of his shield.

  Worm whimpered as he climbed slowly back to his feet. His body had been riddled with poison again, preventing mana regen until the debuff fell off. Still, he focused on the same Dune Spider that Quint was.

  Vinny was taking a beating as he could only block one spider at a time. Quint advanced to buff the Destroyer, leaving Worm doing the only real damage, depleting his mana even faster.

  “I am poisoned,” Worm told Quint, knowing it wouldn’t matter to the Summoner.

  Snarling, Quint glared at the Imp, “Gods be damned. I so hope the Succubus is more useful than you!”

  “She will be, master,” Vinny grunted under the onslaught. “Imps are the bottom of the barrel.”

  Worm’s mana was almost gone before Quint began casting his own Fire Blasts. Worm started toward the spiders, his lips pulled back into a snarl. He threw himself at one of the remaining two, doing what little damage he could with just his teeth and fists.

  The rest of the fight left Worm with mostly claws and teeth. When the third Dune Spider finally fell, Worm again flopped onto the sand.

  Quint shook his head as he looted the spiders. Vinny grinned evilly at Worm, leaning down to whisper, “Today, I am going to pull your limbs off one by one.”

  Shuddering, Worm huddled slightly. “Muscle for brains. If I had the chance to retaliate, it would be a vastly different story.”

  A deep belly laugh echoed from Vinny, “Oh, Darkness, you are so funny.”

  Quint looked at them. “Explain.”

  “Worm thinks if you let him fight back, he could stop me from killing him,” Vinny grinned.

  Laughing, Quint shook his head, “Oh goodness, how amusing.”

  A surge of anger brought Worm to his feet. “I could. If given free rein, I can win.” His words only prompted more laughter, which made his eyes start to spark. “Let me prove it, then! Or are you both afraid to see the truth? That Vinny is nothing but dumb muscle and you’re a useless cat—” Worm suddenly realized what he was saying, his eyes wide with horror at what he had just done.

  The laughter cut off abruptly. “Cat? Cat!?” Quint roared, “I am Lunari, the best of all the races on this world. You small, pathetic Infernal. You are the weakest of the Infernal races, and of your own race, as well. You want to prove your worth? Fine, I accept. Vinny, tear his limbs off. Worm, you may resist.”

  Worm took off running from them the instant Quint had finished speaking. Vinny grumbled as he started after the Imp. “Come back and play,” he rumbled.

  “Catch me, you dumb brute!” Worm called back over his shoulder. He came to an abrupt halt and cast two Fire Blasts at Vinny’s bare chest before he took off running again.

  Vinny growled as the two blasts hit. They only did a few points of damage each, but they had partially blinded him. As his steps slowed, he lost ground on Worm, who began to angle around him.

  Worm snarled at the Destroyer as he kept moving, “Come on, ugly! Catch me! If you don’t, I’m going to fuck your wife tonight.”

  With a roar, Vinny took off at a sprint after Worm. “I’ll pull off your least used appendage first.”

  An Imp’s skipping run is just as fast as other race’s normal running speeds, so Worm was easily able to kite Vinny around the unhappy Summoner and pepper the Destroyer with a steady stream of Fire Blasts. “Your wife liked it last night, didn’t she tell you?” Worm taunted with a cackle.

  “I’ll stomp you into the ground,” Vinny growled as he continued to chase the Imp. He didn’t understand that Worm could run and toss Fire Blasts for hours on end without pausing, if he paced himself to not run out of mana.

  Vinny’s life fell to half and Quint began to realize how one sided the fight would be if he let Worm kite the Destroyer. Lips twisting in distaste, Quint intervened, “That is enough, stop right now.”

  Both Infernals came to a dead stop, as commanded. “I was winning,” Worm smirked.

  “Silence,” Quint snarled. “You are not allowed to speak again for the rest of the day.” Turning to Vinny, Quint frowned, “Let’s go. We’ve got more hunting to do today.”

  “As the master wishes,” Vinny rumbled, moving past Worm with a glare.

  Several hours and a few dozen dead spiders later, Quint call
ed a halt to the day. He’d finally reached level sixteen. “About damn time. Vinny, good job today. Worm, if you lip off again, I will let Vinny kill you twice every day, even if that means my hunting is delayed.”

  Vinny grinned as Worm tried to talk, but failed as he was still ordered to not speak. “Are we done, master?” Vinny asked, his hands flexing as he looked at Worm.