by Kim Loraine
I spread my wings and break through the spell, the light of my power making her wince. Finally, a reaction. She sweeps her arm through the air as though she's trying to strike me, but she's too far away. Except pain blossoms across my cheek and I stagger. How did she fucking hit me?
"You think you can take down the Queen of Hell? That stupid traitor, Helena thought so too. She betrayed me with the angels long ago and I made it my life's mission to ruin her and the other two. I hope she's enjoying eternal suffering in purgatory."
"I know I can take you down because you're not a queen. You're a sad little girl who's playing pretend."
A vicious snarl comes from her chest and she holds out her palm, curling her fingers around empty air. I've seen this before, except she can't kill me.
"Bad news, I can't die."
She smirks and shakes her head. "I'm not killing you."
I glance back and see Devin on the floor his blood spilling across the white tile. "Devin!"
"One more step and you'll be responsible for his death. I can behead a vampire with barely any effort, you know. It's quite fun."
I stand stock still, desperate to figure out my next move. The moonstone glows from its place, a reminder of everything else we stand to lose. Calista can't be allowed to release Lucifer. Helena's death can't have been for nothing. Devin and I lock eyes, his crystal blue irises hold understanding, acceptance. I'll tell his wife he died a hero.
In the space between breaths, I charge her. My palm lands on her forehead and I send every ounce of power I possess straight into her body, burning her from the inside out. All I hear is her sharp gasp of shock before blinding white light consumes her and I smite her fucking ass. When all that remains is a pile of ash, I let myself fall to the floor. Exhausted.
"You were going to let her rip my head off." Devin's low timbre catches me off guard.
"Oh, good. You made it. I wasn't sure if I'd smite her in time to save you."
"Are you fucking with me? You can't be serious."
I glance at the table where the moonstone is and a cold pit forms in my stomach. "The moonstone is gone." I stand on shaky legs. "Where the fuck did it go?"
"She must have had it rigged with a spell. Look around, there's no one here who could have taken it. I killed every last demon."
"Bloody hell!" I scream.
Devin places a hand on my shoulder. "But you killed her. You got your vengeance. Your woman would be proud."
I nod, and we walk back the way we came. Vengeance. It should mean more, but numbness takes over instead. I feel…nothing. Helena is still gone. She's still going to spend eternity in purgatory. And I am without the other half of my soul.
"I don't have enough grace to transport us anywhere but through the portal."
Devin sighs. "I figured. It's all right. I'm just glad I'm still alive. It won't take me long to get home."
We trudge to the portal, my entire body burning from the effort to pull both of us through. "Thank you for your help, Devin."
"I'd say anytime, but I really wouldn't mean it. Honestly, Tamiel, if I don't ever see another angel again, it'd be too soon."
I nod. "You're called by God, vampire. That's why you have a soul and why you always choose to do your duty."
"I know, I know, but God always seems to call at the most inconvenient times."
A harsh bark of laughter escapes my throat. "That He does."
The vampire grips my shoulder and gives a light squeeze. "You take care of yourself. I know what losing the woman you love feels like. Don't let it ruin you."
I don't answer him, instead, I watch as he runs so fast he's nothing but a blur even to my eyes. How can I not let losing Helena ruin me? It's too late. I've tried hiding her memory, forgetting her, avenging her. Nothing helps. I'm lost. Broken. And above all, ruined.
18
Helena
"Where the bloody hell am I?" My head feels weird. Foggy. Everything around me is shades of gray. Blinking a few times, I will my vision to clear, for color to return to my life, but nothing happens. The world around me is devoid of hues other than black, white or gray.
I'm in some kind of forest. Trees, grass, fallen leaves crunching under-foot. But it's like nothing I've experienced. Is this a dream? Closing my eyes, I try to piece back together the memory of what happened before I got here.
Tamiel holding me.
Fear and grief on his face.
I love him.
I didn't tell him.
The ball of magic hitting me in the chest.
Izzy.
Oh, no.
I died.
"Fuck me," I mutter. I died and left Tamiel and my sisters.
"I don't think we know each other well enough for that, milady."
I spin on my heel, already willing a spell between my palms before I remember, Calista has my magic. Calista has the moonstone because I was an idiot. The man stands before me, his chiseled jawline and rugged features making him look equal parts gallant and dangerous. Dark eyes, glittering with amusement look me over.
"Who are you?" I manage.
"I was about to ask you the same thing. I've not seen another person arrive here in far too long." He glances over his shoulder and I catch sight of his sword sheathed at his hip. A sword. Not a dagger or some kind of knife, but an honest-to-God, sword. In fact, the man is wearing chainmail, polished boots, and breeches. He looks like he's playing at being a knight.
He seems uneasy for all his playful nature. His hands are tense and at the ready, as though he's been fighting for his life here.
"Where are we?" I ask.
"We're serving our penance."
"Purgatory," I whisper.
"Yes, milady."
Who the hell is this guy? "And you just happened to be wandering purgatory and found me?"
"No. I saw you arrive. The flash. It announces every new…resident."
"What's your name?" I ask.
He shakes his head and turns sad eyes on me. "I can't remember."
"Have you been here long?"
"Yes. Longer than anyone, save the demons."
"How do I get out of this place?"
He laughs. "The only way out for us is to serve our penance, earn forgiveness for our sins. Or…" he trails off and casts his eyes down. "There's always Hell."
No, thank you. "I'll pass. I know the bitch who is running that place. She's not on my list of people I want to see."
"You…know her? Wait…her?" His shock is obvious from his tone alone.
"Oh, yes. Lucifer is locked up in a cage. You're welcome, world. But apparently, that's not enough to get me a ticket upstairs. Calista, a very powerful witch, took control of Hell. She's dangerous and now that I'm dead, I don't know how we're going to stop her." A flash brightens the sky, nearly blinding me and the air grows heavy for a moment before returning to normal. "What was that?"
"New arrival. Get behind me."
"What?" I ask, but he's already grabbed my arm and pulled me behind his body.
A man stumbles toward us, his body a broken mess. "Help," he calls, staring at us.
The knight tenses and puts his hand on the hilt of his sword. "Don't," he warns me.
"Where am I?" the new arrival asks, his voice a rough rasp.
"You're awaiting judgment." The knight's words are strong and confident, but there's sadness behind them.
"No. This can't be real."
Low growls fill the air around us, vibrating and sending my heart pounding. But I'm dead. I shouldn't have a heartbeat. The knight puts one arm behind him, keeping me in place. "Stay still. You might want to close your eyes. It won't be pretty."
"What—" I start, but as soon as the word leaves my lips three enormous beasts leap from the bushes and tear into the man in front of us. I'm thankful for the lack of color in this place as he screams and his blood spills onto the ground. Then he's gone, the beasts vanish, and we're left alone as though nothing had happened.
"He was judged. Most peop
le just pass through. But there are those of us who have the opportunity to earn our place in Heaven."
"So…if I haven't been eaten by dogs yet, I've got a chance?"
He cocks an eyebrow and grins. "That's one way to look at it. Or, you could be like me. Stuck here."
That idea is not a pleasant one. Stuck here, waiting for my sisters to join me. If Gwen doesn't break her curse, that means she'll be here in a matter of months, and Izzy might never die thanks to her shifter side being nearly immortal. Damn Calista and her curse.
"There has to be some way out of here. You said there are demons, are they trapped as well, or do they come and go?"
"No one comes into purgatory by choice. They arrive, are judged, and leave. The demons are sent here as punishment as well."
A crack of thunder sounds overhead, making me nearly jump out of my skin. Clouds roll in, their ominous darkness causing a chill to run down my spine. The knight grips my hand and starts running, pulling me with him.
"Come on, milady. We have to get to shelter before the rain starts."
"The rain? Why are you afraid of that? Is it made of acid or something?"
"Exactly."
Tamiel
"Brother, you can't do this to me. I need something to occupy my time. I'm dying just sitting on my arse and doing nothing," I say, hoping Gabriel will finally assign me to a post. I've been roaming the earth for the better part of a week, watching, waiting for something to do and I'm going stir crazy.
"Michael hasn't tasked you with anything as of yet and he's right to hold off. Your heart is still suffering. You can't serve Father if you're still grieving."
The mention of my grief, my pain, brings a fresh wave to the surface. Now that Calista is dead, I should feel some sense of closure. I don't. I've tried to bury her, to let my love for Helena languish behind walls I built up, but she's still there, unmoving, impossible to forget.
"I've done everything to let her go. I can't."
He nods. "I know. I've been watching."
"Help me. End my pain. Make me forget her."
"You know I can't do that."
I step toward him, wings extended, chest burning with heartache. "You can." Michael's sword manifests in my hand, brilliant and blazing with angelic fire. "Smite me."
His eyes widen, and he takes a step back. "Brother, no. I won't."
"Then I'll fall again. I'll take the sword to Sariel. He still possesses some grace, perhaps he can wield it." I ready myself to fly, but I can't move. My limbs won't work, frozen and under Gabriel's control. "Are you going to keep me immobilized for eternity? You'll need all your power at some point. I'll get free and end this existence."
Gabriel grits his teeth and lets out a frustrated growl. "Fine. I'll assign you a station. It won't be much more interesting than aimlessly wandering, I'm afraid."
"I'll take anything. I need a purpose."
He releases me from his magical hold and the sword of Michael falls from my grasp. The white-gold flames vanish, and he picks up the blade. "You won't be able to wield this any longer."
"What? Why?"
"I can't allow you to have such power if you're going to threaten to end your existence with it." Another sword appears on the grass at my feet. "But I won't leave you without a weapon. This blade was infused with Michael's grace but doesn't have the all-powerful ability of his broadsword."
I stare at the detailed lettering that runs down the length of the blade, the jewel-encrusted hilt. "This…this sword has been lost for centuries." My words are a whisper.
"Not lost. Hidden until the right time. Now is the time. In the right hands it is unable to miss its intended target, in yours…it will only smite demons and vampires. You won't be able to truly end the fallen brothers you might encounter, but where I'm sending you, it's only demons you'll have to worry about."
"Where are you sending me?"
He smirks. "Don't get excited. I'm assigning you to stand sentry at a portal."
That's one step up from watching over the seas. A job for a lesser angel, but I'll take it. "A portal to where?"
A glint of excitement fills his eyes. It's uncharacteristic for my brother who rarely shows emotions other than boredom. "Purgatory."
My heart lurches. That's where my Helena is. "Gabriel, she's there."
He rolls his eyes. "Do you think I'm not aware? You'll guard the portal to ensure no one breaches the wards. It's your duty. If demons infiltrate purgatory, we have no chance at those trapped souls earning redemption."
"But she can't be redeemed. She's cursed. Purgatory is eternal for her."
"Is it?"
I don't understand. "It is. We couldn't break her curse. She died before it was possible. Calista escaped, she has the moonstone with the power of all three of the siren coven." I shake my head, frustration rolling through me. "You know all this. Why am I explaining it again?"
"Fine, fine. Then if your love is beyond the portal, it's poetic for you to spend eternity guarding it. Don't you think?"
Ah, there it is. Gabriel's got a soft spot for romance. "Tragedy at it's finest."
"One might say that. She's destined for many things, Tamiel. You included."
Hope blooms in my chest at his words. He referred to Helena as though she weren't dead and lost to me. Most creatures have to fight their way through a portal, the magic around the gates strong enough to keep them out. But I am an angel. Meant to cross realms. I could see her again. If I used the portal…
"Don't go in after her, Tamiel. I can see it in your eyes. You'll never escape. You'd be a fool."
Then I'm a fool.
19
Helena
I'm cold. If I'm bloody well dead, why am I cold? This is unfair. A shiver runs through me and my teeth chatter. It's dark and damp in this cave the unnamed knight and I hid in for shelter from the storm. We've lit a fire and I can make out a crude sort of bed against one wall.
"Acid rain? Really?" I ask, incredulity in my words.
"Really," he says, holding out his arm and shoving up the linen of his shirt. I reach out and touch the burn scar marring his forearm.
"Do you live here?"
He nods. "If living is what you'd call it."
"But you don't remember your life?"
"Bits and pieces. I can recall fighting, betrayal, hurt, and in my dreams, the soft touch of a woman."
I scoot away. "Well, I'm not going to be helping you relive that. So get that idea out of your head right now."
He laughs and shakes his head. "Not you. She's long gone. I lost her long before I ended up here, of that much I'm sure."
My stupid heart hurts for him. I know how it feels to lose your love. Like part of your soul has been ripped away. Rolling my eyes, I sigh. Damn angel has me feeling things even when we're in different realms.
"I'm sorry," I tell the knight. "I lost someone too."
He takes my hand and squeezes. "Well, aren't we a matched pair?"
"I don't bloody think so. You'll be wanting to take your hands off my woman." Tamiel's voice sends a wave of longing through me. Is this a trick of purgatory? Show me what I want most and take it away again?
I release the knight's hand and stand, unable to keep from walking to the mouth of the cave. A dark figure stands in the entry, shadowed and looming, wings spread. "Tamiel?" His wings disappear and he approaches, breathing hard, eyes frantic. It is him. He's here. I throw myself into his arms, relief coursing through me at his touch. "You're here. You came for me."
"I'll always come for you. Always." He cradles my head and strokes my back, holding me tight to his chest. "You're mine and there's nowhere you exist that I wouldn't find you."
His mouth finds mine, a blazing melding of our souls as he tastes me, kissing me like there's no tomorrow. In truth, there isn't. "Why did you come here?"
"Are you daft, woman? I told you I wouldn't be without you. Gabriel assigned me to guard the portal to purgatory for a reason. He either knew it would be a punishment or, mor
e likely, his soft spot for love made him place me there."
"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get out of here."
Some of the light leaves his eyes. "We…we can't leave. The only way out is through redemption."
"Wait, you chose to come through even though you knew you'd be stuck here?" My heart feels like it's going to burst. How could he do that? Even in death, I've ruined another man's life.
He cups my cheek and runs his thumb across my lower lip. "I love you. Where else would I be?"
Tears fill my eyes. "That was stupid, Fallen."
"I'd rather be stupid than be without you."
The sound of a throat clearing behind us makes me turn. The knight stands near the fire, his hand on the hilt of his sword. "Milady, this might be a trick of purgatory, not your lover."
I'm in front of Tamiel, not willing to let anything happen to him. "If you touch a hair on his head, I'll ruin you." It doesn't matter that my angel is close to a foot taller than me, that his broad shoulders are nearly twice the size of mine. I won't let this knight harm him.
"I can assure you, sir knight. I am who I claim to be." He spreads his wings and a brilliant light fills the room. "Tamiel, angel of the Lord. And this woman is my soul mate."
"She's yours, yet you let her be killed. Some angel you are." The knight's tone holds a note of disgust.
Tamiel flinches, I feel it in his body pressed against mine. "I failed her. You're right. But I'm here for her now. I'll spend eternity making up for my shortcomings."
He's different. All the fight and fury has left him. I turn in Tamiel's arms and stare up at the face I love so desperately. "No. You didn't fail. I threw myself in front of Izzy. There wasn't any way you could have stopped that."
"If I'd paid better attention, loved you better, you wouldn't have ended up in Calista's hands. They had your blood because of me."
I roll my eyes. "That's quite enough of the pity party. We're together now. But this place is harsh and unforgiving. There are creatures who will tear us limb from limb out there, and I don't have any magic."
