Wishing for Us

by Sydney Landon

  This is what it feels like to have a family. The thought struck him suddenly and without forewarning.

  He had a great relationship with his parents and his brother, but even though he was a father, he’d never experienced a family moment like this since he became an adult. He’d twirled Casey and she’d ridden on his shoulders countless times, but never with a happy Chris alongside them. This type of behavior was known to irritate her beyond reason. Even at Casey’s young age, Chris felt as if she should act like an adult. Jake, on the other hand, wanted his daughter to enjoy being a child. Those carefree years would be gone before any of them knew it, and they could never get them back again.

  One of Casey’s favorite places was Johnny Rockets. She loved the burgers and milkshakes there, so Jacob ran it past Lydia first to see if the location worked for her and then they walked in that direction. The hostess gave them a big booth, and Casey insisted they all be on the same side so she didn’t have to choose who to sit with. As his daughter used the coloring page and crayons to create another masterpiece for his refrigerator, Lydia looked over her head at him and said sweetly, “She’s precious, Jake. After one afternoon, I’m totally in love with her.”

  A sense of pride filled him as he smoothed his daughter’s wavy hair. “Regardless of everything with her mother, she’s the very air that I breathe,” he replied quietly.

  Nodding her head in agreement, Lydia said, “I understand why you were willing to do anything to keep from losing her.” They both kept an eye on Casey, making sure she wasn’t paying attention to their conversation. She appeared to be engrossed in her artwork and have tuned out the rest of the world.

  “You were amazing with her today,” Jacob said truthfully. “She’s always been a little wary around strangers, which I normally encourage for safety reasons, but she connected with you almost immediately.”

  Lydia appeared touched by his words. “Thanks. I’m an only child, so I’ve never really been around children much. Brett did have a nephew that we saw at all of the holidays, but that’s pretty much the extent of my experience with children. I’ve always loved them, though, and today was a real treat for me. Seeing a place you’ve been dozens of times before through the eyes of a child is unbelievable.”

  They continued to talk throughout the meal whenever they could get in a word around Casey’s chatter. By the time they left the restaurant and walked back to the truck, it was nearly time to drop his daughter at home. Casey begged Lydia to sit in the back with her on the drive, and Jacob noticed them cuddled up together through the rearview mirror. If he’d been looking for the perfect stepmother for Casey, he’d found her. They were two peas in a pod. But sadly, all good things had to end, and that time had officially come as he pulled into Chris’s driveway and parked behind her BMW.

  The house was a modern-style craftsman that Chris complained about constantly. It was in a great neighborhood and a premiere school district, so Jacob ignored her. It also had an amazing fenced backyard, where he knew that his daughter would be safe. Chris would rather live in a trendy condominium, but he’d put his foot down. If he was picking up the tab, then his daughter was going to have the type of house he’d grown up in. As he opened his door and came around to Casey’s, he stood awkwardly for a moment. “Lydia—”

  “Jake, you don’t have to say it. I’m going to move to the front seat and wait for you in the truck. It wouldn’t be right for me to barge in there until you’ve talked to her about me.”

  Feeling the tension leave his body, Jacob gave her an appreciative wink. “Thanks for understanding, sweetheart. You’ve been so great today. I don’t want to subject you to any more ugliness.”

  He took his dozing daughter into his arms and heard Lydia close the door behind them as he moved carefully down the walkway with his precious cargo. It appeared to be his lucky night because Chris was on the phone when she answered the door and made no move to end the conversation as she took Casey’s hand when he set her on her feet. He gave her a hug and kiss then walked out. He was always sad when he left Casey behind, but somehow, knowing Lydia was waiting for him made it more bearable. She’d been with him for one full day, and already, he was eager to be with her. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking of her as his wife today and the need to make that into something other than a title was fast becoming an urge he was having trouble denying.

  Chapter Five

  Lydia had become good friends with Mia Gentry through their mutual friend and colleague, Crystal. So when Mia had called her at the office and invited her to lunch, Lydia had gratefully accepted. With Crystal away on her honeymoon, Lydia was in desperate need of some girl time. Plus, she was dying to talk to someone about her situation with Jake. The hours they had spent together yesterday, first at the aquarium, and then at dinner, had been one of the best days she’d had in a long time. Being with Jake and Casey had been so easy and natural. When they’d gotten back to his home after dropping Casey off, he’d poured her a glass of wine and he’d had a beer while they talked about their jobs and families.

  Of course, it only made sense that she know his background if she was to convince Chris that they had a real marriage. He had assured her that Chris herself didn’t know much more about him than a stranger off the street would know. Jake’s parents came to see Casey often, but Chris had never visited with them nor had she expressed any interest in doing so. He said that she simply used them as another backup babysitter in the event he was out of town and her parents were unavailable.

  Lydia could hardly believe it when Jake had mentioned that it was almost midnight. They’d been sitting and chatting for hours by that point. They’d walked down the hallway together and again he’d had what appeared to be a bashful moment when he stood uncertainly at her door before leaning forward to drop a kiss onto her cheek. “Thanks for today—for everything.” She’d stood there fighting the urge to follow him as he headed in the direction of his own room. Sexy Jake’s powerful presence was a heady thing to be around, and sweet Jake was melting her inhibitions and her underwear at an alarmingly fast pace. If she wasn’t careful, she’d be sneaking into his bed before their first week of marriage was over.

  “You look like a woman who’s got it bad, sugar,” remarked an amused voice. Lydia’s eyes flew to the open doorway, where Mia now reclined against the frame. “Don’t bother to tell me you’re over there pondering a work problem because I won’t believe it.”

  “You had it right the first time,” Lydia admitted wryly. Why deny it since she planned on asking her friend for advice during lunch anyway? She got to her feet and pulled her purse from the side drawer of her desk. “Want to walk around the corner to the sandwich shop?” she asked as she moved toward Mia.

  “Sounds good to me. I could totally murder a turkey sandwich right now,” Mia joked as they rode the elevator down to the lobby. Mia chatted about the latest security system installation she was working on for Danvers while they ordered their food and found a quiet table in the corner.

  Despite her earlier statement about being hungry, Mia pushed her sandwich aside after a few bites and asked, “What’s going on with Jake? I called you a couple of times over the weekend to check in but kept getting your voice mail.”

  Lydia dropped her face in her hands and mumbled, “The quick answer is that I’m hopelessly infatuated with him.”

  “Mmmhmm.” Mia smacked her lips. “He’s totally fuckable. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t feel the way you do.”

  “I was attracted to him from the start, but now I feel as if I’m just a step away from attacking him,” Lydia admitted.

  Shrugging her shoulders, Mia asked, “So what’s the problem? You’re both adults. Make a nookie date and get to it. Hell, you can even have dinner first if you want to keep things civilized.”

  “I’m living with him,” Lydia blurted out. “I agreed to help him with some issues he’s having with his daughter’s mother.�
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  The bite of food Mia had taken appeared to lodge in her throat as she made a choking sound. Lydia leaned over to thump her on the back until she waved her away. “Jake has a kid? And baby mama drama? Holeee shit! Why am I just now hearing about this? Did you know?” she asked incredulously.

  Shaking her head, Lydia said, “Nope, sure didn’t. When I left with him after Crystal’s wedding, we went to his house to have a chance to talk and he told me everything. He offered to give me an annulment; actually, he wanted to arrange it. Then—”

  “Wait.” Mia held her hand up. “I thought you guys did the dirty in Vegas. Was he going to lie to avoid going through a divorce?”

  Trying to keep any trace of disappointment from her voice, Lydia said, “No, apparently we never had, er . . . intercourse. Which makes sense considering I can remember us fooling around, but it’s been driving me crazy that I couldn’t recall the main event. He said even intoxicated, he wouldn’t let that happen without me being completely sober.”

  “But it was okay to marry you while you were tipsy?” Mia said dryly.

  Lydia felt strangely defensive of her husband, the man she barely knew. “It might not have been the best idea, but we were both in a dismal place that night. I was missing Brett, and what might have been if he hadn’t gotten sick. Jake and his ex are pretty close to battling for custody of their daughter. She’s saying she’ll drop her part if he’ll either marry her or pay her more support. And he’s determined to get joint custody. He’s afraid that his daughter is going to get dragged through a custody case and he doesn’t want that to happen to her. He thought if he were married, Chris might back off her demands and the court would look favorably on him if he presented a more settled image, and I just wanted to know what it would feel like to say, ‘I do.’” Rubbing at the slight ache in her temples, Lydia admitted, “As insane as it may sound, I was upset when I found out that we hadn’t had sex that night and our marriage could be ended so easily. I mean, it’s not like I’m in love with him, but he makes me feel desired again. I’ve been like a robot since Brett died.” Pausing, she looked around to make sure no one was listening before continuing, “I haven’t . . . you know, wanted anyone sexually in years. But from the moment I met Jake, it’s as if my body is some kind of computer that’s abruptly come back online.”

  Mia propped her face in her hand and studied her. Finally, she asked, “So you’re going to pretend to be his wife to make him look like a better father? What if he doesn’t deserve it? He could be a horrible parent.”

  “He’s an amazing dad,” Lydia piped up enthusiastically. “His daughter spent the day with us yesterday. We went to Ripley’s Aquarium and then to dinner. She is simply precious, and he hangs on her every word. Their bond was readily apparently whereas the one she has with her mother showed more signs of resignation than affection.”

  “Whoa,” Mia croaked. “You’ve already met the ex as well? Yikes! How did that go? What’s she like?”

  Lydia laughed at the rush of questions from her friend. Mia was nothing if not curious. “Well, she’s—different,” she said, trying to be diplomatic. “She wasn’t happy about me being at Jake’s house that morning and didn’t mind letting it be known. She basically called me a tramp and stomped off in a huff with Casey. But a few minutes later she was back needing Jake to babysit because she had plans.”

  Wrinkling her nose, Mia deadpanned, “She sounds awesome. If she was calling you those kind of names so quickly, then she must still have some feelings for our Jake.”

  Lydia took a drink of her tea before placing it down. “Oh, yeah, she does, but I’m not sure they have anything to do with loving him. According to him, she’d been putting on the pressure in the last year for him to marry her. Then when she never got anywhere with it, she thought attempting to take his daughter away would finally get him where she wanted him.”

  Mia finished the bite of food that she’d just taken before asking, “If he was willing to marry a stranger, then why not the mother of his child?”

  “That’s the same thing I asked him,” Lydia admitted. “It didn’t make sense to me. But he explained how toxic the environment was for Casey when he and Chris were together for any extended amount of time. And just from being in the same room with them for a few minutes, I can see that he’s right. Apparently, she was a one-night stand and they never had any type of relationship outside of that before she got pregnant. He believes she’s only interested in marrying him for the financial security. Outside of Casey, I don’t think they can stand each other.”

  “Wow, that’s sad,” Mia sympathized. “It’s hard enough on kids when their parents divorce, but when there’s not a good relationship to begin with, that must be horrible for everyone involved. Has he told her about his new wife yet?” She looked Lydia up and down before adding, “I assume he hasn’t since I don’t see any scratches or loss of hair.”

  Grimacing, Lydia said, “Nope, he didn’t want to tell her in front of Casey since she’s likely to freak out. He’s supposed to talk to her sometime this week, I believe.”

  Mia leaned back in her chair and wiggled her eyebrows. “Now that we’ve got all the heavy stuff out of the way, let’s circle back to your desire to jump his bones.”

  “Um . . . what about it?” Lydia asked haltingly. “We don’t really know each other. And he probably doesn’t think of me in that way. I’m helping him out of a situation and that’s it. He hasn’t made any moves toward me since we’ve gotten home.”

  “Blah, blah, blah.” Mia opened and closed her fingers to simulate someone’s mouth moving. “Everything doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes sex can just be about feeling good.” Laughing, she added, “Of course, in this instance, Jake married you before he slept with you, so you’ve already put the proverbial cart before the horse.”

  Feeling embarrassed, Lydia admitted, “I’ve only ever been with one man, and we dated for quite a while before we slept together. I loved Brett so much. But . . . I feel something completely different when I’m with Jake.” Guiltily, she added, “I was never this sexually aware around Brett. But when Jake is near me, it’s almost as if I don’t recognize my own body or the intense that he brings out in me. I want him with a force that I’ve never even experienced—how can he have this kind of effect on me?”

  Mia put a hand over hers as she said earnestly, “There is nothing to be ashamed of. The average person loves more than one person in their lifetime and your reactions to two different men will always be different because they aren’t the same person. I know it’s hard, but you’re single, Lydia. There’s nothing wrong with you desiring another man.” Quirking a brow, she added, “I was going to say every relationship doesn’t have to end in marriage, but that’s a moot point now.”

  Lydia giggled, grateful for the comic relief before Mia continued. “Remember when we were talking to Crystal about how lustful she felt toward Mark and how she just needed to go for it?”

  “I think it’s safe to say she took our advice and then some,” Lydia agreed.

  Snapping her fingers, Mia said, “Exactly! And now you need to do the same. If you want Jake, then you go after him. And trust me, honey, I saw the way he looked at you at Crystal’s wedding. There is no way he’s opposed to heating up the sheets with you. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say he wants you as much or more than you want him.”

  “Really?” Lydia blinked, hardly able to believe Mia could have the right read on the situation. Was Jake feeling the same pull of physical attraction?

  “Oh, yeah.” Mia nodded. “Now, I want you to go forth and seduce that man. And trust me, there won’t be any challenge there. He might feel like he can’t approach you because you’re doing him a favor by helping with his custody situation. But if you crook your finger and let him know that you’re ready and willing, he’ll come running.”

  “I don’t know,” Lydia murmured uncertainly. “What
if I do and he turns me down? I’d feel like a fool, and I’d have to face him every day after that.”

  Shaking her head empathically, Mia said, “I’m telling you, he won’t. Outside of the fact that you’re a beautiful woman, you’re also flipping hot.”

  “You’re just saying that because you’re my friend.” Lydia felt sure that the other woman couldn’t have said it with any kind of sincerity.

  Mia shrugged her shoulders as if she were talking about the weather. “Honey, look at yourself in the mirror. You have the kind of hourglass figure that every man fantasizes about. Big boobs, small waist, and a squeezable booty. Old Jake has probably damned near worn his hand out in the last twenty-four hours with you under the same roof!”

  Lydia wanted to crawl under the table when she saw a group of men at a nearby table begin to snicker while darting glances their way. She had no doubt they’d heard some of the more embarrassing parts of their conversation. “Oh God, they’re listening to us,” she whispered to Mia as she nodded her head toward the other table.

  Uncaring of the attention, Mia turned her head and faced the eavesdroppers without batting an eye. “Hey, dudes,” she called out. Instantly, they fixated on her as if waiting anxiously for her next words. Of course, the fact that Mia was gorgeous probably didn’t hurt any. “Since you guys are obviously catching some of our discussion, how about giving us your honest opinion.”

  “Oh shit,” Lydia moaned in horror, terrified of what was going to come out of her friend’s mouth. There was no way it would be good.

  One of the men, who’d apparently appointed himself the spokesperson for the group, leaned forward and smiled. “We’re always happy to assist pretty ladies. What can we help you with?”

  Mia turned to Lydia and uttered under her breath, “Just remember, this is for your own good.” Clearing her throat, Mia moved her chair closer to the other table and lowered her voice. “Do you see my friend over there?” When they nodded, she asked, “How many of you would go out with her if given the chance?” As Lydia was in the process of wilting into her chair, she saw something mind-boggling. The hand of every guy at the table flew up as if shot from a cannon.