Never Again, No More

by Untamed

  “Come on. He’s not asking his sister to watch the kids. I am.”

  “Then ask his ass to watch his own kids. This sister shit was your idea. I told you to ask him to begin with. That way if he couldn’t, he’d probably ask his sister, and then that shit would be on him. But you always trying to look out for that nigga’s time and feelings and shit,” Pooch said with irritation. In essence, he was right, but he was being an ass because she was Terrence’s sister.

  “A’ight,” I said, relenting. I didn’t need him hyped up on no Terrence bullshit today.

  “I just gave you a stack. If you want to pay his sister, take it out of that. I already got unnecessary shit to deal with,” Pooch said, fussing some more. I told you. I knew he felt like this buyout was a waste of his money.

  He must’ve missed it when I tried to dead the conversation the first time, I thought. Instead of being pissed that he had continued to rant, I placed my hands on his shoulders and said, “A’ight, baby. Be safe. I love you.” I kissed him.

  When I saw his shoulders deflate, I knew the subject had been dropped. Thank God. Ain’t nobody had time for Pooch and all that noise. Damn. Here, I wanted to spend time with him so I could put these pent-up emotions for Terrence to rest, and all he could do was bitch and moan because I had asked for money to pay someone to watch the kids. The more I tried to show him that being in this relationship was what I wanted, the more he had to remind me why I had reconnected with Terrence in the first place. Grouchy and ungrateful-ass nigga. And he wondered why Dreads was so fucking appealing to bitches. He did shit that appealed to bitches, like spend fucking time and paying for other men’s kids, that was why. Dummy. Lawd! Help me. I want to try with him because I did love him, but I swear, I was on the verge of losing my shit with Pooch.

  He sighed. “I love you too. Remember that shit.” He turned to Big Cal. “Let’s go, nigga.”

  “A’ight. Bye, Trinity,” Big Cal said.

  “Be easy, Big Cal,” I said.

  They walked out of the house and then left in a rented Escalade.

  You know what? Fuck it. All I ever heard out of his mouth was criticism, fussing, and questions. Why would I want to give his ass the honor of my time? The peace of alone time was exactly what I needed. It was the perfect reward after so much hard work in school. Also, it would give me the time to figure out how to deal with things with Terrence and to dig deep on what I wanted out of my relationship with Pooch. I loved him, but I’d grown weary of these antics. Was this lifestyle enough to continue to put up with the attitude and disrespect? And I hadn’t forgotten the bedroom incident, either.

  It was a lot to think on, but tonight I wouldn’t think about anything except parlaying with my girls. This girls’ night was just what the doctor ordered. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. Ladies’ night, here I come!

  Trinity

  “What’s up, ladies?” Lucinda and I hollered in unison when we met up with Charice and LaMeka outside the entrance to Ruth’s Chris Steak House.

  “Hey, divas!” Charice greeted excitedly, hugging us.

  “My girls!” LaMeka said as she took her turn to hug us.

  “I’m so glad we got to do this. And, Ms. Charice, that dress is fire! Have we been BCBGMAXAZRIA shopping?” I said, zooming in on her designer duds. “Shit, Ryan has stepped his game all the way up. He’s got his baby mama straight as hell, I see.”

  “Oh, yes, ma’am,” Charice confirmed with a confident twirl. “I know you know the real deal. Pooch keeps you laced and icy,” she added.

  “Shit, that’s her new man, who she refuses to give up the info about,” LaMeka blurted, rolling her eyes.

  Lucinda and I looked at each other. “New man?” we chorused, in utter shock.

  Lucinda threw her hands on her hips, with her head cocked to the side, in confusion. Her blunt ass asked the question that I was sure we all were thinking. “When the hell did you get off Ryan’s dick long enough to find someone else?”

  After stepping in front of Lucinda, LaMeka wagged her finger and then pointed back at Charice. “She ain’t gon’ tell you. She won’t even tell me,” LaMeka said, pointing to herself and rolling her eyes again. “All I know is brotha is paid, and he keeps her draped, dripped, and dazzled. This heifer is flying everywhere, and the way that phone has been ringing, it’s for real.”

  Sucking her teeth, Charice scoffed at LaMeka and pushed her back to the side. “Ain’t you got nerve?” she muttered to LaMeka, who simply shrugged it off. Charice held her hand up, as if she was under oath. “Ladies, I promise you that when my new beau and I are ready to reveal our relationship, you all will be the first to know, besides my kids and parents.”

  Wow. Honey had come up. Admittedly, Charice was the most educated of all of us. If Ryan hadn’t abandoned her and left her with three children to raise solo dolo, there was no doubt in anybody’s mind that she’d be owning her own dance company or some shit right now. Charice had three children and had still earned a degree before all our asses, and she had a decent job. However, Mr. Man had elevated not only her clothes and shoes but also her damn mind and vernacular. Hella impressed was I. Damn. High fives to this bitch.

  “Did y’all hear that shit?” I said, smiling. “He must be a real bourgeois brotha. She talkin’ ’bout her new beau. Who the hell in the hood calls they man a damn beau? This nigga money must be hella long!”

  Charice giggled. “Like I said, when he and I are ready to reveal our relationship, you all will be among the first to know.”

  We all looked at each other. Then we shouted things at her as she laughed.

  “Is he married?”

  “Is he gay?”

  “He’s white, right?”

  “Y’all are too funny, but in due time you all will know,” Charice said. “Now, can we go in here, before we lose our reservation?”

  Reluctantly, we dropped the subject, seeing that she was not going to reveal a thing to us, and shuffled inside the restaurant. Once inside, I reveled in the fact that we were all grown up and looked hella good. Smiling as I reminisced, I realized we were a far cry from the skinny teenagers who rocked the ponytails and jeans, ate at McDonald’s, and hung out at the teen clubs. We’d become some fly-ass, sexy divas.

  We really enjoyed ourselves as we ate, caught up, and had a true ladies’ night. Our flirtatious waiter even hooked us up with a free bottle of wine. Not that we needed it after all those Caribbean Pearls, but that move clinched him an excellent hundred-dollar tip.

  Afterward, we headed over to the Compound and got in free and enjoyed VIP treatment because of Charice, or rather because of her new, well-known title, Ryan Westmore’s baby mama. The place was jam-packed tonight, but we didn’t have to worry about crowding as we made our way to our lounge sofa in the back and sat down to talk and listen to the music. After a while, I was ready to get my drink on.

  “How about a bottle of Cîroc?” I asked.

  “I’m in,” the ladies all said in unison.

  “When the waitress comes by, I’ll order,” Charice volunteered.

  I stood up. “Cool. I’ll be right back. I’m going to head over to the ladies’ room.” On my way, I bumped into the waitress. “Excuse me. When you get a moment, our table would like to order a bottle of Cîroc, please,” I told her, and she nodded, then rushed over to the table.

  “What do you know about Cîroc?” I heard a man behind me ask.

  I turned to see who was addressing me. “Say what?” I asked, throwing my long, wavy jet-black hair over my shoulder. Terrence and two of his homeboys were standing there. This shit brought me back to when I first officially met Terrence in the club when I was fifteen. He looked as fly now as he had back then, and I was just as giddy to see him now as I’d been back then. He looked fine in his Polo ensemble and his Polo chukkas. I smiled at him, and we embraced.

  “What are you doing in here, bugging me?” I joked.

  “I was just hanging out with the fellas. Tomika told me
you were having a ladies’ night out. That’s good that Pooch let you come out and live a little,” Terrence said.

  “Oh, whatever.” I fanned him off and turned to speak to his two friends. “What’s up, Skeet and Rome?”

  They hugged me.

  “Ain’t nothing. What’s up, Miss Trinity?” Skeet said.

  “Just chillin’ out with my girls,” I replied.

  “Long time no see. We miss you around the block,” Rome said.

  “Well, I’m sorry you niggas miss a sista. A sista misses y’all niggas too.” Skeet, Rome, and I shared a laugh, and when I looked up at Terrence, he eyed me closely as he stuck the toothpick he’d been holding in his mouth.

  Rolling the toothpick around in his mouth, Terrence sucked his teeth and then rubbed his hands together. “So what the hell Pooch have going on that he is letting you hang out without the entire dope-boy clique being around?” he asked.

  This nigga was slick with the snide remarks. Crossing my arms, I leaned on one foot, my hip poking out to the side, attitude on high. “You know, this whole thing between Pooch and you is so aggravating at times, but on the real, Pooch is out of town on some business. And before you make another smart-ass comment, he knows I’m out with the ladies. In fact, he thinks it’s a great idea,” I said, rolling my neck and eyes at Terrence.

  “But I bet he doesn’t know that you’re killing that dress,” he complimented slickly, then sipped on his Henny.

  Blushing, I couldn’t help but notice the fact that he still noticed me. But I played it off. “This old thing?”

  “Ha! Why you playing like it ain’t brand new? Even when we were together, you always bought a new outfit when you went out,” Terrence said and laughed. “But on the real, you look hella good,” he added, the effects of the brown liquor showing in his eyes.

  I laughed nervously. He was right about the outfit and the “looking good” part, but on that note, I had to slide out. “You look good yourself. I better go. You fellas be easy.” I turned to walk away.

  “Yo, Trin!” Terrence yelled after me.

  I stopped and turned to face him.

  “Save me a dance.”

  I laughed and winked at him before continuing on to the restroom.

  “You were gone forever,” Lucinda said when I got back to the table. She was pouring the concoction for everyone.

  “I was just—”

  “We saw you over there talking to Dreads. You two seemed mighty close,” Charice said before taking a sip of her drink.

  Sitting back, I picked up my glass and took a sip. “He’s my children’s daddy. We gon’ always be close.”

  The three of them looked at me and laughed.

  “Honey, well, you ’bout one in a damn million of sistas who is close to their baby daddy. Hell, I’m technically still in a relationship with mine, and we ain’t nowhere near as close as you and Terrence, so please miss me with that shit,” LaMeka said.

  Charice and Lucinda agreed.

  “Ryan is cool now, but our kids are five years old. You and Dreads have always been cool,” Charice chimed in.

  “And, hell, look at me. Raul ain’t never been a daddy. You were damn sure blessed,” Lucinda added.

  Fuck was this? “Gang up on Trinity” night? Besides, I had chosen to hang with my girls to get my mind off Terrence, not to focus on how great he was. Nothing about this conversation helped with these crazy up-and-down emotions I had been experiencing over Terrence lately, either. It damn sure didn’t help Pooch’s case, either. So I needed them to change the damn station.

  “Okay. I get the point, but can we just enjoy each other? That is what we came for, right?” I asked, getting aggravated.

  They nodded, and we continued to tear up the Cîroc. I was good and tipsy when the DJ began playing throwback songs. The first was very appropriate for our situation—“Tipsy,” by J-Kwon. We all got up and hit the dance floor on that one. I guessed it was the “get drunk” song hour, because the next one was “Wasted,” by Gucci Mane and featuring Plies, and the rest of the songs struck the same theme. We danced to a few more songs when the DJ switched it up a bit and played this old joint called “Headboard,” by Hurricane Chris and featuring Mario. OMG! If that shit was not fire, I didn’t know what was! It had everyone in there singing the lyrics and dancing.

  “We be in the bed girl . . . getting all wild . . . fucking like it’s going out of style. And we be like, yeah . . . yeah . . . getting all loud . . . fucking like we tryin’a have a child . . . Got you up against the . . . headboard . . . Got your body screaming like, oh, oh, ooh . . . Baby grab the headboard. . . make it go . . . make it go . . . oh, oh, ooh,” I sang as we wound on the dance floor.

  Suddenly, I felt somebody behind me. I knew it was Dreads. I was so fucking tipsy, though, that I didn’t give a damn, and apparently, neither did he, as he was grinding up on me, and I threw it back to him.

  “I’ll make your head hit the headboard till it squeak. I’ll put it on you, have you thinking ’bout me for a week,” Dreads sang, rapping along with the song in my ear.

  I turned to face him. “You think so, huh?” I said as he pulled me by my waist and began to grind up on me.

  “I know so. I’ve already done it plenty of times before,” he whispered in my ear. I giggled.

  I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Lucinda. “Be cool, hon. You don’t know who knows Pooch up in here,” she whispered to me. I looked back to see my girls and Terrence’s boys staring at us in utter shock and disbelief.

  I pulled back from Terrence. “Dreads, I better get back over to where my girls at.”

  “Running again?”

  “You know I can’t,” I told him. I stepped back, walked away abruptly, and rejoined my girls in the lounge area.

  “Girl, the hell is wrong with you, wilding out with Terrence like that?” LaMeka asked me as I sat down.

  I pointed at the bottle as I eased back in the seat. “It was just this damn liquor and shit,” I lied.

  “Well, we’re going to get out of here and hit another club. You down?” Charice said.

  The turnup had gotten a bit too real for me. Although I wanted to hang with my girls, if I wilded out any more, Pooch was bound to catch wind of it, and ain’t nobody had time to play Twenty Questions with him. I was good on that.

  “Nah. I think I better get back home,” I said as we all stood up to leave.

  Lucinda decided to hang with Meka and Charice, so I said good-bye to all three of them before they all headed to Charice’s SUV. I headed toward my Mercedes. As I turned the corner, I ran smack into Dreads.

  “My bad. My boys and I were just leaving,” he said.

  “Me too.”

  “Ain’t that your girls heading out over there?”

  I looked back. “Yeah. I’m a little tipsy, so I’m calling it a night.”

  “Yeah, I am too. Skeet was gonna drop me off and head to a strip club. I can’t feel giving my money to a broad who ain’t doing nothing but showing me what she got. Hell, I know what the hell a woman has.”

  “It’s not about that,” I said, laughing at him. “It’s about the illusion of wanting something you can’t have.”

  “I don’t need a strip club for that,” he said with a seductive look in his eyes.

  I bit my lip nervously. “Well, good night, Dreads.”

  “Still running, huh?” he called out as I began to walk away. “What are you scared of?”

  I sighed and turned back, then got up in his face. “I ain’t scared of nothing.”

  “Bullshit,” he challenged.

  “Well, we both should be scared of Pooch,” I said matter-of-factly.

  He laughed almost mockingly. “Since when have I ever been scared of Pooch?” He exhaled slowly as a serious look crossed his face. “Look. We both should be, but neither one of us is, so you tell me, li’l mama, what are you really afraid of?”

  Damn, he knew me so well. I shook my leg nervously and looked down, but he lifted my chi
n so that my eyes met his. “Stop please,” I begged him.

  “You don’t ever have to be shy or ashamed around me. You’ve always kept it one hundred with me, and me with you. So keep it one hundred right now,” he said, pressing.

  Looking into his eyes, I admitted, “I’m scared of . . . Shit! I can’t believe this. I’m scared of what I might do if I keep being around you.”

  “Me too,” he murmured.

  Nervously, I walked slowly past him. I couldn’t believe that I’d finally spoken my feelings aloud and to him. Something about knowing that my feelings were out in the atmosphere made it all seem real, like I couldn’t turn back the hands of time and could just move forward. I didn’t know what took over me, but I stopped in my tracks, and without bothering to look back, I addressed him. “So you coming or what?”

  Without any hesitation, Terrence walked with me to my Mercedes and got in on the passenger side. He texted his boy and told him to go ahead without him, and I called Lucinda and asked her to cover for me in case Pooch checked for me and to tell the others that if anyone asked, I was with her. We rode around for a few minutes in silence before Terrence suggested we head to a hotel for some alone time. That was a good thing, because there was no way my car could be seen at his apartment. And there was no way I would ever risk having him in the house I shared with Pooch.

  I half expected him to jump all over me the moment we were out of the club parking lot, but I think Terrence recognized my nervousness. He didn’t say much to me as I drove. Rather he showed affection. Not lust. Affection. Slowly, his fingers glided through my wavy hair. Jesus. His touch damn near drove me insane. Since I couldn’t close my eyes and savor the moment, I simply pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and suckled on it. His strong fingers found my delicate neck and softly kneaded the tension as I drove. Though desire dripped off him like running water, he never allowed it to ooze over onto me. He behaved like a champion, full of grace and patience. But, hell, I didn’t need him to seduce me. I was already seduced, and my own desire was evident by the moans that escaped my lips.

  When I finally arrived in Suwanee, which was far enough away to avoid anyone with direct links to us, I pulled into the parking lot of the nearest hotel, a Marriott, and Terrence hopped out and rented a suite. After parking, we walked to the suite in complete silence. I think we were afraid that if we said something, we’d lose the nerve to go through with this.