by Roxe Anne
We always have fresh brown eggs from Grandma Irene’s hen house. Her favorite chickens, Rhode Island Reds, produce the best tasting eggs, and the yolks are always a darker yellow than the stores. Grandma will go out to the hen house with her Mama’s wire basket early in the morning to fetch eggs. Those Rhode Island Reds lay between 14 and 18 eggs every day. They will just be waiting at the old hen house for Grandma in the morning. When she enters the pen, they all swarm around her feet waiting for her attention. I almost feel sorry for those hens losing their eggs until I remember how good they taste.
I like my eggs over easy so I can dip my toast in the runny yolks. I sprinkle lots of pepper on my eggs, which always makes me sneeze. I don’t care. This is the way those eggs taste best. Katie says she wants to throw up watching me eat them.
• • •
We are going to have fried chicken at Grandma Irene’s for dinner. Grandma Irene, Aunt May, and Mama are all going to cook up the chickens.
First, we have to catch the old hens that are going to be our dinner today. Those chickens sure must know they are going to be butchered because they make a lot of racket and keep running around in circles to avoid us. We are going to fry those three old hens up in cast-iron skillets on Grandma’s wood stove.
I don’t much care for killing and cleaning those chickens. Grandma Irene has an old stump in the back yard they use for chopping the chickens’ heads off.
Herbert and Mary come to watch some of their old barnyard friends get their heads chopped off. They are following Grandma around honking and carrying on.
Grandma chases her geese around the stump with a broom. “Herbert and Mary, you go on now and get out of here or we’ll have you for dinner tonight instead!”
“Jimmy, you best stretch the chicken’s head over that stump so Roy can get a clean shot at chopping its head off the first time.”
Roy sharpens his ax the night before he chops the chicken’s neck off. I never did see such a sight before. The chicken just keeps hopping around all over the barnyard without her head, blood squirting everywhere. We kids have to help with the plucking of the feathers; those chickens sure stink!
Uncle Frank just watches. He has never seen a chicken killed before. He asks if he can chop off the next chicken’s head, but Roy tells him he never lets anyone else touch his chickens. Uncle Frank looks disappointed.
Those chickens are going to taste good later on when they coat them with flour, salt, pepper, and their secret ingredients. After they are coated, they fry them all in fresh lard.
Mama made her potato salad the night before to bring. Aunt May brought baked beans. Uncle Frank is going to boil the corn again. I’m sure that isn’t going to make him happy.
Mama, Aunt May, and Grandma Irene are going to bake corn bread in her wood stove. They are also going to bake Grandma’s favorite chocolate cake made with coffee, cocoa, and mayonnaise. Grandma Irene’s coffee is so strong she probably could flavor ten cakes with it. After the cake cools, Grandma will make whipping cream for the topping; using fresh cream from her cows.
“Mama, can I stay in and help bake the bread and make Grandma’s birthday cake?” Katie asks.
“Katie, I would love for you to help bake! It’s about time you learned to do a little cooking to help your Mama out,” Grandma tells Katie before Mama can even answer.
Rita, Bobby, Billie, and I decide to go outside and play. We don’t want any part of cooking.
Mama…Grandma, can we take a walk through your woods?” I ask.
“Scoot, off with ya,” Grandma Irene says.
“If it’s okay with your Grandma, then it’s okay with me. You had better not get into any trouble!” Mama tells all of us kids.
“Now don’t you kids be gone too long. We’ll be eating in a couple of hours!” Aunt May instructs us sternly.
“Mama, do you think we can have a basket to put stuff in if we find anything? Maybe we can find some flowers to give Grandma for her birthday!”
“That’s a good idea, Missy! There are usually some wild flowers down by the creek this time of year.”
Billie pipes up, “I want to go down by the creek!”
“I want to go to the creek, too!” Bobby chimes in.
Mama whispers. “Boys, I never said anything about going to the creek. I said there might be some flowers for your Grandma Irene down by the creek.”
“You boys had better not go in that creek!” Aunt May says, not hearing any of the conversation.
“May, they’re not going in the creek. Don’t worry,” Mama laughs. “For goodness sake, off with you before this conversation turns into you boys having already fallen into that creek!”
• • •
“You know, girls, Caroline’s coming over later for supper.”
“Mother, she always causes trouble when men are around. Not on your birthday,” Aunt May cries out frustrated.
“You girls know she’s Roy’s daughter and I can’t say no. Now, I don’t want to hear anymore whining from either of you!”
“Mother, she never brings any food, she never helps you, and she drinks as much as Roy!” Aunt May comments worried.
“Hush with you, let’s just try to forget about Caroline until later on. Don’t you girls’ go talking about Roy like that anymore. He really is a good man!”
“Good for nothing!” Mama says under her breath.
“What did you say, Dot?”
“Nothing Mother, nothing at all.”
Aunt May coughed. “Yeah, she said nothing at all.”
“You girls’ hush or I’m going to send you to the woods with those kids of yours.”
“Katie, what are we going to do about your Mama?” Grandma Irene asks her.
Katie winks. “Let’s ground her for two weeks so she can’t see her boyfriend, Grandma.”
“I’d like to see you try and ground me, either of you!” Mama tells them both.
“I guess I couldn’t do anything with you girls when you lived at home. You just climbed out the window and down our tree. It wouldn’t do me any good to try now!” Grandma tells Aunt May and Mama.
“Mother, don’t say things like that in front of Katie; you might give her ideas!”
“Off with you kids. I thought you were going to the woods!” Mama tells all of us.
“We were, but we rather enjoyed the thought of Grandma grounding you and Aunt May at your age. We wanted to see if she could really still do it,” I say laughing.
“Okay…outside…go play…you’ve heard enough stories for one day,” Aunt May says to us kids. We know we had better get going before she changes her mind.
• • •
“Can we play cowboys and Indians, Missy?”
“Billie, no one wants to play cowboys and Indians.”
“How about we make a fort out of branches?” Bobby asks.
“Bobby, I don’t want to play in no dirty fort!” Rita says disgusted.
“How about we follow the path to the creek and when we get there, we can skip rocks,” I suggest.
“That’s a deal!” Bobby says. “But can we make it a contest to see who can skip their rock the farthest?”
Rita and I just give each other that look like, why does everything have to be a competition? The boys know we usually lose.
“We suppose,” we said.
“Do you think there are any bear in these woods?”
“Billie, stop asking dumb questions. No, there aren’t any bear in the woods around here,” I tell him.
“Don’t forget, we are supposed to be looking for flowers for Grandma’s birthday on our walk to the creek,” Rita says happily.
Rita spends more time with Grandma Irene than the rest of us. She likes to help Grandma cook and collect eggs in the mornings. Grandma is teaching her to garden. She especially wants to learn how to can pickles and beets like Grandma. They are her favorite. I don’t spend the night much. I don’t much care to use the chamber pot or the outhouse in the dark.
The boys
don’t care much to spend the night, either; Roy makes them work too hard.
Katie really doesn’t like staying at the farm either. There aren’t any boys around her age.
• • •
When we reach the creek, we find a tree that has been struck by lightning and has fallen over the creek. The water under the log isn’t too deep, so we aren’t worried about falling off and drowning. We just want to see how well we can balance on the old log.
Bobby goes first. He thinks he is going to be our hero and rescue us if we fall off. I will show him. No boy is going to out do me! I sure can’t wear shoes and keep my balance. I take my shoes off and go barefoot. Splinters or not, I need to be able to use my toes to hang on.
“Come on, Missy, let’s see you do it!” Bobby and Billie taunt me. Rita doesn’t say a word against the boys.
As I step on the log, it begins rolling. My heart races. I think for sure I am going to fall. The log is narrow at the beginning and wider toward the middle. After the first couple of steps, I think I make it. Then Billie takes one end of the log and Bobby grabs a hold of the other end and starts rolling it back and forth to make me fall.
“You guys, stop it. This isn’t funny. I’m going to get even with you when I get off this log!”
I sit down on the log and don’t move. No one is going to make me fall in the creek and get into trouble, especially with Roy. I don’t like him at all. He is mean to me and even worse to Grandma Irene. I don’t want any bruises like he gives her!
“I’m not moving until you boys stop rolling this log, even if it takes all day!”
“Missy, you’re no fun. Okay, we’ll let you off,” Bobby says amused.
“Aww…do we have to, Bobby?” Billie asks.
“I think we better.”
I don’t have any problem crossing the log when it isn’t rolling. I walk across the whole log without even scooting. Rita just scoots across. She isn’t even trying to walk across. She knows she has no balance.
Billie has no problem crossing the log either. He even wore shoes.
After we cross the log, we all look for the best flat rocks we can find to skip across the creek. This is going to be fun. I have been practicing skipping rocks secretly at the river. If these boys want a competition, I am going to give them one. I’m not going to lose this time!
“Now, don’t go too close to the creek and get muddy, boys,” I say.
The boys think they know everything about skipping rocks, but I’ll show them.
“Okay, everyone line up right here along this bank,” Bobby tells us.
“When I say three, everyone skip their rocks at the same time,” he directs.
“One…Two…Three…”
Billie smiles at me. “Missy won! Missy won!”
“Something’s not right here. Missy, did you step closer?”
“No, I didn’t step closer. I won fair and square!”
“Let’s try it again. Rita, will you watch to see who wins? Bobby asks his sister.
“I guess. Billie and I don’t have a chance anyway.”
“I’ll go again, but I won. You’re being a poor sport, Bobby!” I tell him, aggravated at him for not believing I didn’t cheat.
“Are you ready?” Rita asks us.
“We’re ready.”
“One…two…three…go.”
“Missy won! Missy won! I told you she won,” Billie smiles at me.
“All right, I guess you won, but I don’t know how you did it. I must have had a bad rock.”
“Ah, forget it; let’s go find Grandma Irene some flowers, Bobby,” Rita says.
“Let’s follow the creek for a ways. Mama said there should be some flowers around here somewhere.”
“I saw some tall flowers by the back of the barn, Missy,” Bobby says.
“I don’t think Roy wants us to pick his sunflowers he planted, Bobby. Besides, they won’t have blooms until we start back to school.”
“What about those flowers,” Billie says, pointing to something white up by the path.
“That’s Queen Anne’s Lace. Mama doesn’t like it much, but it’s sure pretty like the doilies Grandma Irene makes. It does have the word queen in its name,” I say.
“They’re white as snow and look like snow flakes.” Rita remarks, as she picks the flowers and puts them into Grandma Irene’s basket.
“Missy, I think they look more like the doilies Grandma crochets than snowflakes,” Billie says. He taps me on the shoulder. “I thought you told me there are no bear in these woods!”
“There aren’t any bears in this part of Illinois. Now quit being a baby and keep walking. It must be about dinner time by now. We still have to find more flowers for Grandma’s bouquet.”
“But, Missy…”
“What now?”
“What does a bear look like?”
“It doesn’t matter, just keep on walking.”
“Are bears black with a lot of short thick black fur?”
“Yeah, but there aren’t any bears around here.”
“Missy…Bobby…Rita…run. There’s a bear!” Billie screams, pointing to a big black bear as he runs toward Grandma’s house.
“Bobby, climb the nearest tree!” I shout, as I keep running.
Rita runs down the path toward Grandma’s house tightly hanging on to her basket. “Help, there’s a bear! Help, someone!”
“Rita, stop! We can’t leave Bobby. Find some big rocks. We’ll throw them at the bear. We have to save your brother!” I shout, while trying to catch my breath.
The bear is at the bottom of the tree Bobby is in. It won’t be long before the bear takes a hold of him and maybe even kills him. We need to find a way to save Bobby fast!
“We need to distract the bear. Billie. Make as much racket as you can. Scream, whistle, do anything!”
We see Bobby climbing down the tree.
“No, Bobby. Stop! Wait till we scare the bear away!” I scream at the top of my lungs.
Bobby laughs hysterically. “It’s not a bear, Missy! It’s Grandma Irene’s dog, Bear.”
Rita runs and gives Bear a great big hug, ruffling his fur. “Oh Bear, you scared us. Where were you, you naughty dog?”
Bear is Grandma Irene’s old black Chow Chow. They usually put him in the barn when they have company. He is protective of his property. He likes Rita best; he has been around her more. When Bear gives you kisses, he kisses you with his big black tongue.
“I wonder if Grandma knows where you are, Bear? You scared us half-to-death. Come on; let’s take you back to the barn,” Rita tells Bear. She bends down to retrieve the flowers that had fallen out of her basket.
Bobby points to something yellow in the distance. “Hey, Rita, there’s some flowers over by that old John Deere tractor.”
“Bobby, thanks, those are black-eyed Susans. Grandma’s going to like them!”
“Why do they call these flowers black-eyed Susans, Rita? They look like a daisy to me with dark-brown centers,” Bobby states.
“I don’t know, but they’ll make a nice bouquet with the Queen Anne’s lace.”
We put Bear back in the barn; I don’t think he is too happy. He just laid down on his straw bed and batted his eyes at us.
• • •
Rita hands Grandma her basket. “We picked flowers for your birthday!”
We see tears welling up in Grandma’s eyes as she takes the basket of flowers. She lovingly looks at the Queen Anne’s lace.
“You girls have the best kids in the world. They are so thoughtful and considerate. You ought to be thankful they’re not out causing trouble!”
“You kids come over here and give me a hug, and then we’ll go find these flowers a vase fit for a queen.”
Bobby and Billie just look at each other. We know they will be getting a big kiss on their cheeks from Grandma. Rita and I don’t mind much, but those boys’ faces sure do turn red.
Grandma grins from ear to ear. “Now, off with you kids to the pump. We ar
e going to eat soon.”
“Your house sure does smell good, Grandma,” Rita says.
Katie boasts. “I made Grandma’s cake by myself!”
Grandma winks at Mama. “You sure did. It looks and smells wonderful. No one will ever want my cake again after they eat yours!”
Pleasing Grandma Irene isn’t something that happens often. We all know Katie can be proud of herself today. You can tell Mama is proud of her daughter today, too.
“Boys, go out and tell the men folk to wash up. It’s time to eat, and we don’t want this dinner to get cold. You girls can pour us all some fresh milk,” Grandma directs.
We do as we are told. We can’t wait to eat. The food smells so good and we are hungry after all our exercise running from Bear.
• • •
“Grandma, Caroline’s here,” Bobby informs her. “Roy said to tell you to set another place for dinner.”
“Not Caroline, not at dinner time! That girl sure does have bad timing. Just as I said, she never does a thing but impose. You better set another place at the table, Rita. Don’t forget to pour her some milk. Maybe it will help her from getting drunk later on!” Aunt May says fuming.
“May, let’s have a pleasant meal. If you can’t be pleasant to Caroline, then do it for my birthday!” Grandma pleads.
“Rita, set Caroline’s place next to Roy’s, will ya, honey?” Grandma walks up to Caroline and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “I’m glad you could make it, dear.”
“Isn’t my girl pretty today, Ma?” Roy asks.
“Sure is, almost as pretty as the bouquet of flowers on the table the kids picked for me today.”
“Oh, you guys, stop now; if only it were true, Papa,” Caroline says blushing.
Uncle Frank and Uncle Jimmy must think she is pretty, too. Uncle Frank pulls out the chair for Caroline to sit in, and Uncle Jimmy asks her if there is anything else she needs. I haven’t heard either of them ask to do anything for Mama or Aunt May today. Mama and Aunt May are already looking a might bit angry at those two men.
This is the best meal I have eaten in a long time, except our family’s fish fry. Katie’s cake is really good. It possibly might be better than Grandma Irene’s, but I’m sure not going to tell either of them that.
Uncle Frank, Uncle Jimmy, and Roy are all more attentive to Caroline than to Grandma on her special day. Roy just keeps on having Grandma get this for him and that for him. I don’t think she sits for a minute at our meal. He sure doesn’t do anything for her. He just keeps talking to Caroline like no one else is around. You can almost feel the air around us getting colder and colder, even though it must be 85 degrees outside and even hotter inside from all the cooking.
