Can't Be Love

by Julie Trettel

  “That’s who you are, Thomas. You are an Alpha, and you’re going to be a great one for Collier when your turn comes.”

  “Why do I feel there’s a but coming here?”

  “But,” I said dramatically, trying to lighten my mood a little, “I’m worried about what will happen if we complete the bond.”

  “If? Lily there’s no ‘if.’ You already said you love me. You have to know I love you, too. What’s all this about?” His voice had shifted and I could tell he was trying to stay calm, but his body was tense and emanating stress.

  “With me, you have a vulnerability. I’d make the entire Pack vulnerable. You did a great job of holding it together back there, but let’s face it, there’s a reason we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere in some crazy storm.”

  “Yeah, my wolf is very strong. He’s hard to control at times. It leaves me temperamental, irrational, and quick to make rash decisions. That’s not you, that’s me. We’ve always had our struggles.”

  “You let your guard down with me. Your wolf, too. I can feel it, and I can see the differences. That gives you a weakness, Thomas. A mate should make you stronger, not weaker.”

  He smiled, and I felt his entire body relax as he reached over and pulled me across the couch and onto to his lap. He cradled me close and kissed the top of my head. “Is that all this is about?”

  “Is that all? That’s pretty major, don’t you think?”

  I looked up at him and he looked so happy. “Lily, the kind of weak you make me is a good thing.”

  I smacked him. “I’m not talking about sex right now, Thomas.”

  He laughed. “Neither am I, slugger. My dad used to tell me my mate would be my biggest treasure and greatest weakness and I must always protect her above all else, even the Pack. It’s the burden every Alpha must bear. This isn’t something new or exclusive to us. I remember the first time he told me that, I laughed in his face. Told him no woman would ever weaken me. I was too strong. And he said that was the whole point.”

  “The whole point of true mates is for one to weaken the other? That’s bullshit.” I couldn’t believe he could really think that. Kelsey didn’t weaken Kyle, she strengthened him. Mom didn’t weaken Dad, did she? I always thought she was so strong and contributed so much to the Pack. Was I wrong? Did she bring down my father and leave him vulnerable, too?

  “Not weaken,” he said, caressing my cheek and forcing me to look at him. “Balance. Without you to ground me, I’m a loose cannon. I’m arrogant, cocky, and prone to anger and aggression. What you perceive as vulnerability isn’t. It’s bringing me back down to earth, shrinking my ego some, making me focus on someone besides myself. That’s not the same as weakness. It’s more humbling. You make me see the world differently.”

  I considered his words. He was arrogant and cocky. I’d seen his aggression flare, but I seemed to be the cause of it more than the tamer of it. Did I humble him? Seeing the world differently didn’t sound so bad. And earlier he had said he loved me.

  “Wait, back it up. Did you say you loved me?”

  He threw his head back in a deep sexy laugh. “Yes, Lily Ann Westin, I love you. I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly, but I do. I love you. I don’t just need you to calm my wolf and keep me grounded and make me a better man, but I want all those things and so much more. I want to spend my life with you.”

  I kissed him deeply, overwhelmed with emotions. “I love you, too.”

  “So, we’re good?” he asked, looking a little relieved.

  I gave him an evil grin and moved so that I was straddling his lap. I didn’t wait for my canines to elongate, instead calling them forward, and my wolf happily obeyed. I brushed my hair to one side, exposing my neck to him. When I smiled, showing him my teeth, I heard his quick intake of breath. “Almost,” I whispered before kissing him again.

  I felt his teeth sharpen and grow, running my tongue against the new sensation and change in his mouth as I smiled against his lips. He was breathless when he pulled back to stare into my eyes.

  “There’s nothing more permanent than this. We can wait if you need more time.” I shook my head. “You’re certain?”

  “I’m sure, Thomas, so stop talking and claim me already.” I was still protesting when the sting of his teeth sinking into my neck hit me. It didn’t hurt, quite the opposite. I almost lost myself in the crazy sensation he was invoking and forgot to bite him back.

  He paused, hesitating for a moment as reality came back to me and I followed his lead, letting my teeth sink into his neck. Heat spread through my body, sending tingling sensations up and down my spine as I sucked on him.

  I thought Thomas had made me feel as incredible as was physically possible in the few times we’d been together, but as our bond sealed, a new level of ecstasy came with it. I reached down and pulled his shirt up, needing to feel him. I rubbed myself against him and protested when his canines finally retracted and pulled away from my skin. I eased up on him and smiled at the sight of my mark on his skin. I licked it and planted a kiss there, soliciting a moan from my mate.

  He eased my shirt off me and quickly discarded my bra. I supposed he felt the same all-consuming need as I did, like a pulsing that thundered through my body. We couldn’t seem to stop kissing, though I pulled back long enough to lift his shirt over his head. I moaned as his lips found me again and worked magic across my body.

  We hadn’t even disposed of our jeans or shoes yet, but I was throbbing all over and seeking release. Thomas carefully stood, carrying me with him. I wrapped my legs fully around his waist as he carried me to the bedroom. It was warm, almost too warm, thanks to the wood burning stove. The added heat only contributed to the crazy sensations of the moment as he laid me on the bed and carefully removed the rest of our clothes before joining me.

  “Mine,” he growled, nibbling on my ear as he took me with no further foreplay.

  I aggressively met him stroke for stroke until I reached my climax, growling out his name. He slowed his pace only long enough to kiss me before flipping me onto my stomach and claiming me fully in the most Alpha way possible. I didn’t think I could come again so quickly, but the telltale signs began building almost immediately. He reached around to stroke my breasts as he picked up his pace, causing us both to shudder in release.

  Thomas

  Chapter 24

  Lily lay beside me, watching me with a look of wonder on her face. I had been a little rougher with her than I had meant to be. I couldn’t even put into words the driving need to make her fully mine.

  “Mine,” I said softly, leaning down to brush my lips gently against her swollen ones.

  “Yours,” she replied happily. “I can’t wait to see your mark, but at this moment, I’m not sure my legs would hold me if I tried to make it to the bathroom.”

  I laughed, and as quickly as I could, I climbed off the bed and scooped her up into my arms and carried her to the bathroom, carefully setting her on the counter to admire my bite mark in the mirror. I turned my head to the side to get a full look at the one she had left on me, too.

  “It’s perfect,” she said, touching the spot on her otherwise flawless skin. We stood there looking at each other and admiring our marks for a while. It seemed so surreal. Our bond was complete. Lily Westin was mine forever.

  “I love you,” I told her, staring into her eyes through the mirror.

  Her face brightened as she said, “I love you, too.” Then the moment was gone as her face contorted. “Okay, get out. I really have to pee.”

  I shook my head and helped her down to the floor before leaving. I checked on the fires as she finished up and opened the front door to see that snow had begun to fall. She joined me, hugging me tightly. It never dawned on us that we were standing there, still naked, until my wolf ears picked up a human gasp and I looked up at the main house just in time to see a couple walk away.

  A low grumble sounded in my chest, but Lily just shook her head, unable to wipe the smile from her face.r />
  “Hope they enjoyed the show,” she said.

  Life with Lily would always be interesting. You just couldn’t predict what was going to come out of my girl’s mouth.

  “Doesn’t look too bad so far. Maybe we’ll luck out and be back on the road tomorrow. That will require sleep though. Come on, back to bed . . . to sleep this time.”

  She groaned in protest, the little minx.

  It took a good hour for me to finally fall asleep. Lily had done everything in her power to provoke me into another round, until she finally crash out, leaving me in an awkward and uncomfortable state, but at last sleep did find me and I spent the remainder of the night dreaming of a future with the beautiful woman snuggled next to me.

  When I awoke, Lily was draped over me and the room was chilled. I knew I should get up and stoke the fire again, but she didn’t exactly leave room for me to move. Pinned to the bed, I tried to rouse her. I already knew waking the dead was easier than getting Lily to move in the morning. She snored softly, her breath tickling my chest.

  I let my hands roam over her back, memorizing the curve of her sides and hips. I kissed the top of her head and rolled her gently to her side. The proper thing to do would have been to get up, take a cold shower, or handle things myself in there, and then put more wood on the fire. Too bad there was a little validity to her douchebag nickname for me. I was hungry for my mate, and curious just how long it would take me to wake her properly.

  With an evil smirk, I let my hands trail further north to the peaks of her breasts. There were a few faint pink marks left behind from our lovemaking the night before. I leaned down and kissed each one in turn before sucking one nipple into my mouth. She whimpered softly, but still did not wake. I moved to the next nipple and nothing. A few sexy sighs were all I could elicit from her.

  I stared down at her beautiful naked body and grinned evilly. Kissing my way south, I explored every inch of my mate, tasting her for the first time. Soon her breath was quickening, and she was bucking against me. I could feel her muscles begin to tighten as she let out a loud moan. Her eyes shot open, wide in shock, as she looked down at me. I smiled against her, humming appreciatively as her head flew back and she screamed my name. I stayed with her until her body calmed and the quivering subsided.

  “Oh my God! What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, her breathing not quite back to normal yet.

  “Good morning,” I simply said.

  “Uh yeah, it’s a great morning, but what was that all about?”

  I laughed. “You are impossible to wake up, but you looked so damn sexy, I couldn’t help myself. I figured it would be a better option than Oscar’s cold water method. And look, it worked.”

  She started to argue. I could see in her eyes it was her first instinct to do so, but she shut her mouth before she spoke and caught me off guard when she did finally reply. “Best wake-up call ever. I’m going to expect that every morning from now on. That was better than a triple grande peppermint mocha.”

  I laughed and felt it rumble through my entire body. I didn’t remember laughing or being so genuinely happy before Lily waltzed into my life and turned it upside down. It felt good. It felt right.

  I stood and stretched. I knew I was standing at full attention, and I watched her lick her lips as she openly admired me.

  “Perhaps I should repay the favor. You look like you could use some help with that.”

  I knew then and there this woman was going to be the death of me in the best ways possible.

  “As amazing as that sounds, I need to get this fire restarted, and see about breakfast.”

  “Fine,” she huffed. “You tend the fire, I’ll get the breakfast.”

  By the time I had the fire roaring again, the cottage smelled of mouthwatering goodness. Lily had fried up eggs, bacon, and potatoes, and she made toast. It was all delicious, though not quite as delicious as my beautiful mate.

  When the meal was finished, and the dishes done, I grabbed the comforter off the bed and wrapped us up before opening the front door. There was nearly two feet of snow with the door imprint clearly marked on it, and it was still falling fast and thick.

  “Guess we’re going to be here a while,” Lily said, not sounding disappointed at all.

  To pass the day along, we spent time continuing to get to know each other. It was a rare opportunity where neither of us had anything better to do. She had insisted on repaying me the favor of her wake-up call, and then requested a do-over when she thought she could do a better job. Who the hell was I to argue with that?

  Clothes had been a non-issue as we made love and talked, with some occasional food thrown in. Day one was hands down the best day of my life.

  Day two, I awoke Lily in the same manner, deciding I could get addicted to her quickly, and the smile on her face instead of the snarl, cursing, and anger I had previously experienced from a Lily Westin morning, was much improved.

  Lily was a little sore from where we’d overzealously gone at it the day before. We found some cards and board games in the cabinet under the TV to help pass the time. I learned quickly that she cheated at both and had an obsessive need to win.

  After lunch, I drew her a hot bath in the enormous tub, and though it took more willpower than I knew I possessed, I left her alone to relax with a book she had found.

  I took the time away from her to call Dad.

  “Hello?” my father answered. “Son? Is that you?”

  “Hey, Dad.”

  “It’s Thomas,” I heard him say, likely to my mother.

  She confirmed my suspicions quickly by joining in the call. “Thomas, sweetie, are you okay? Lily’s with you right? Tulok called and explained what happened. I’ve been worried sick about you both. Where are you? He said you insisted on driving and wouldn’t wait out the storm.”

  “We’re fine, Mom. Lily’s with me and we’re holed up in some bed and breakfast waiting for the storm to break. I promise, we’re both safe.”

  “It’s a fifty-hour drive, Thomas. What were you thinking?” she continued. as if I were a small child.

  “I was thinking that even with Lily found, my wolf wasn’t going to settle down as long as I was in Tulok’s territory. I was thinking I really needed to get the hell away from there before I did something I’d regret.”

  “Leave him alone, Cora,” my father said. “He’s a grown man and he knows his wolf better than men five times his age. If he was that agitated—and with Lily’s disappearance, I imagine he was—then he did the right thing.”

  “I know, I know. I just hate knowing they are stranded out there like that.”

  My father snorted. “Something tells me he’s not minding that one bit.”

  I laughed.

  “Do you think they finally bonded?” my mother said excitedly.

  “I’m right here and can hear you, you know,” I chimed in.

  “Well?” my mother asked, waiting for a response.

  “Yes, we bonded. I was calling so Dad could officially start the stupid mating challenge clock.”

  I heard their excitement through the phone as Mom relayed the information for the others.

  “Congratulations, son. I’ll get the news out immediately.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  I heard him walking away, the voices growing more distant, and then a door shut.

  “What happened?” he asked seriously.

  “Have you spoken with Kyle?”

  “Westin? No, why?”

  “The Westins know a lot more than they’ve let on. They knew exactly who took Lily and were tipped off on how to find her. There’s a lot to catch you up on, but it’s probably best to wait and do it in person. I don’t even have all the details yet, only what Patrick O’Connell filled me in on.”

  “Who did this, Thomas?” he asked, using his most serious tone.

  “A human faction, Dad. They know about shifters.”

  “The Verndari?” he said, sounding surprised.

  “You k
now about the Verndari?”

  “I do, but kidnapping shifters? That doesn’t sound like them.”

  “Patrick said it was a small group of their young people going rogue,” I confessed.

  “I see,” he said. “I’ll reach out to our contacts and find out what I can.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about them, Dad?”

  “All in good time, son. You take care of your new mate and leave the rest to me. I also think a visit to your new in-laws would probably be a good thing. Since you and Lily are off on this wild road trip anyways, how would you feel about swinging over to the coast and paying a visit to Kyle to find out all you can?”

  “Are you certain you don’t need us back sooner? I’m sure Lily would love to visit her family.”

  “I’m sure. And I think it will do you both some good. Get to know each other better and all.”

  I grinned as we said goodbye. I had already gotten to know Lily in every way imaginable, but I was up for the challenge of learning more.

  “What are you certain I’d love?” she asked, standing in the doorway of the bedroom wrapped in a towel to keep from dripping on the floor.

  “Dad thinks we should consider rerouting and heading for Westin. He thought maybe talking to Kyle and getting more details on what’s going on would be a good thing.”

  “Really?” she asked excitedly. “Can we stop by the ARC and see Chase and Jenna on the way?”

  I shrugged. “Don’t see why not. We don’t have anything to rush back for at the moment, so might as well enjoy it.”

  She jumped in glee and clapped her hands before running and tackling me in kisses.

  “Thanks,” she said breathlessly.

  We spent the rest of the day in bed, and I realized quickly, I’d do whatever it took to always keep her that happy.

  On day three, the snow finally stopped. Gino cleared a path from the main house to the cottage, which allowed us to walk over and have lunch with the other guests in the dining room. Bunny fussed over Lily and made certain everything was fine. We assured her it was great. I squared up on our payment and didn’t care one bit what she charged me. It was worth every penny. I had no doubt we’d be staying at Bunny’s Bed and Breakfast for many years to come. It just seemed like it became our place, and I was already making plans to book the cottage for our one-year anniversary.