Love You To Death: A Psychological Crime Thriller

by Rita Ames

  “Susie, I’d like you to meet my partner, Dave” Ben indicated the other man who stood and offered his hand.

  I shook it “Hello Dave” I said “Nice to meet you” I sat on the chair that he proffered.

  “Has Ben told you why we wanted to speak with you?” he asked.

  “Not yet” I said looking at Ben and raising an eyebrow in question. He looked uncomfortable and shifted from one foot to the other “Okay, out with it then” I said eager to get this over with.

  “It’s about Carl, Susie.” Ben said “We have some information to hand that leads us to believe he may have been involved in something” he paced back and forth in front of the wall that held all the bits of paper.

  “How well do you know Carl?” asked Dave.

  “Well, I met him when he was run over and we have spent a few days together, meeting for coffee, oh and he helped me move house, that sort of thing. He seemed nice enough” I responded, avoiding the obvious question in Ben’s eyes over my revelation the other evening.

  He sighed and came over to me, dropping to his knees beside me. He took my hands and looked into my eyes.

  “Some information has come to light that leads us to think that he may have been involved in someone’s death” Ben said softly.

  “What do you mean by involved?” I asked.

  “We have reason to believe that whoever killed Tina Stubbs on the night of Carl’s accident may have also killed a lot more. The locations of times of these killings tie in with when Carl was living in the areas.” Dave answered and Ben held my hands tighter.

  I was shocked “He doesn’t seem capable of it” I said and then I remember what he had done to me and how he had reacted with more force when I had begun to struggle.

  I looked at Ben “Do you suppose his dreams are actually memories? He always seemed so disturbed by them but refused to tell me what they were about”.

  “It’s possible he has been getting his memory back over the last few weeks and this has resulted in his unpredictable behaviour lately” Ben confirmed.

  “Are you telling me that I had a lucky escape the other night” I asked. I was still having difficultly thinking of Carl as a killer.

  “Possibly, although I do think he genuinely wanted to try to have a normal relationship with you” he responded softly.

  I stood and went over to the wall looking at all the bits of information that had been posted, seeing a kind of logic to what had first appeared as random stuff.

  “What do you need from me” I asked still not sure where I came into all this.

  “We wanted to see if you had any more information you could give us. Has Carl had any memory recall or has his personality changed at all” Dave asked.

  I looked at Ben and he nodded, looking at Dave “There have been signs that something is changing although we don’t know to what extent yet” he came over and put his arms around me. “We need to assume that he is remembering his previous life”.

  I nodded, cold dread filling me. “How many killings are we talking about here?”

  “We don’t have an exact number yet as some could still be listed as missing. We know enough that it has been happening consistently for many years. Mainly young girls as far as we know” Dave confirmed.

  “We need to get a DNA sample from Carl to run a match on it with samples found at two of the scenes” Ben said “and it would be best if we could get this without alerting him for the moment”

  “Why? Wouldn’t it be best if you just arrested him and got him off the street? Especially if he is this monster you are describing” I started to feel agitated.

  “Due to his accident and loss of memory, we need to get some conclusive proof before we arrest him. Otherwise a good lawyer could get him off on a technicality and then he could get away scot free” Ben looked at me “We need to tread carefully here. The last thing we want is this killer going loose, and worse still, disappearing to carry on somewhere else.” Ben held my hands “Susie, we may need your help with this” he sighed.

  “What can I do? I haven’t seen him for a while, and you know why” I said to Ben.

  “I know it’s not an ideal situation and the last thing I want is for you to be anywhere near that bastard. However, you are the only one he spends any time with” He looked into my eyes “I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise” he said.

  There was no point in thinking it over. I knew that if Carl was responsible for peoples deaths then I had no choice but to help.

  I sighed and nodded “What do I have to do?”

  Carl

  I was buzzing, my whole body was alive with power. I was indestructible! I looked down at the girl before me. I refused to give her a name any longer. She had ceased to be Lisa the moment I had silenced her with the gag.

  My body felt relaxed at last after the girl and I had enjoyed ourselves several times.

  Looking at the mess we had made (well, I wasn’t going to take all the blame, was I?)I was a little disgusted at how much cleaning up I would need to do. “You should be helping me instead of just lying there” I muttered at her.

  She just lay there staring with open eyes at nothing in particular. There was a nasty purple bruise on her cheek and I felt a moment of remorse at my earlier lack of restraint. It had marred her pretty face.

  I stood observing the scene as if from behind a glass screen. My mind was still feeling fragmented. I knew what I had done and I also knew that I had enjoyed it immensely on one level. Now though, I was disturbed by what I had done.

  Part of my brain was screaming out that I had killed a sweet and trusting girl and would burn in hell. It shouted at me that Susie could never love such a monster. I tried to ignore what I thought to be the voice of my conscience. My inner demon was still revelling in his sexual gratification, pleased with the messy display laid out before me.

  Reluctantly I went to get the cleaning equipment from the other room. It was going to be a long night. I pulled on some of the overalls in the locker, now understanding the purpose behind them.

  My bad leg was already throbbing insistently and I knew that dragging the body up the stairs and burying it would mean I was going to suffer days of pain as a result. I was far from the fit and agile killer of the past.

  I became angry at the girl and thumped my fist down into her stomach, she didn’t move.

  I started the task of wrapping her in black liners. It was going to be a very long night.

  Susie

  After my meeting with Ben and his partner, Dave, I returned to the hospital to finish my shift.

  Ben was due to come round for dinner that evening and we would discuss our next move where Carl was concerned.

  I was still having trouble reconciling Carl with the kind of monster that would kill so many girls in cold blood. They had shown me some pictures which had turned my stomach and I couldn’t face eating lunch when I finally returned to work.

  I went through the motions for the rest of the day. One or two colleagues asked me about Ben. Of course they were more interested in knowing if he was single that with any interest in what I was doing. I told them he was taken and that was the end of that conversation. I shrugged and got on with my work.

  On the way home I stopped off and picked up some groceries and a bottle of wine for the evening. Ben thought we were getting a takeaway curry. I decided to cook one instead as a surprise. It had been such a long time since I had cooked for anyone that I was looking forward to it.

  I busied myself in the kitchen and once the curry was happily simmering and the water on to boil for the rice, I headed into the shower for a quick freshen up.

  I was just pulling on some jeans when the doorbell rang. I hopped over to the door, just getting the button on my jeans done up as I opened it. Ben stood there holding a bunch of flowers with a gooky grin on his face. He held them out as he entered.

  “They’re lovely” I smiled taking a deep inhale of their fragrance. I took them to the kitchen and pulled a vase
from under the sink. Filling the vase I quickly arranged the flowers and went into the lounge to place them on the coffee table. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes”.

  “I brought wine too” he placed it on the table and went to get some glasses. I watched, amazed at how comfortable he looked in my home. I imagined what it would be like if he lived here with me. It was a nice thought.

  “Has there been any more news about the case?” I asked.

  “No, the profiler is working on it and there are a few more details due back from forensics”. He went over to the window and checked the street below as if he was expecting someone to be out there.

  “Is everything all right?” I asked. His actions had un-nerved me a little.

  “No, I don’t want to alarm you. I just had the feeling that someone was watching me when I came in here” he sighed and chuckled “I think maybe the case is getting me a little spooked. Although, I am worried that Carl might try to contact you, especially after what happened”

  I put the plates of food on the table and we sat down to eat.

  “I haven’t heard anything from him since then. I ignored all his attempts to contact me and then it stopped. Maybe he has given up” I said hopefully.

  “I think that’s just wishful thinking” he said “You are the only one he could turn to when he was struggling with things, it would be dangerous to assume that he would just go away”

  My appetite left and I put down my fork and looked at Ben.

  “He hasn’t really hurt me so far. Are you sure he is really some kind of monster?” I asked. I was still having trouble balancing the gentle but disturbed man I knew as a friend with some ruthless serial killer.

  “Let’s not talk about it anymore” Ben said “I don’t want it to spoil our evening. We haven’t really had much time to ourselves have we?” he smiled and the look in his eyes made my heart flutter.

  We cleared away the plates and turned on the dishwasher, making coffees and returning to the lounge. I was feeling a little shy now that we were alone.

  I put the TV on and we sat on the couch watching some crime series, not the best choice considering what we had been discussing earlier. I went to turn it off and as I did Ben grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back down onto the seat.

  He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to mine. I melted.

  We spent a lovely evening making out and later retired to my room where he proceeded to chase away all my insecurities. I was left under no illusion that Ben wanted me, and wanted so much more from me. I, for one, was happy to reciprocate, very passionately.

  Carl

  The man looking back at me in the mirror was someone I didn’t recognise. He was covered in mud, and something else that I didn’t want to think about. His hair was matted and dirty, but it was the eyes that made me want to turn away. They had a manic look that scared me to death.

  I turned on the tap and splashed my face, the water was cool and soothing. The rest of my body was in agony.

  It had taken me most of the night to finish what I had started when I had left the apartment. I had gone out with the intention of finding myself a girlfriend, somehow thinking it would make Susie jealous so that she would come back to me.

  I laughed at this. How the hell could Susie get jealous if she didn’t even know about Lisa? That meeting wasn’t going to happen now what it? Lisa was taking a nap in a cold, dark hole that I had slaved all night over.

  The leg that had been shattered during my accident was now throbbing like a bitch and every muscle screamed at me.

  I turned on the shower and stepped in allowing the hot water to sooth away some of the ache.

  After a long, long shower I finally felt clean. The bathroom was covered in muddy splashes so I had to wipe the walls and floor to get it clean. I chuckled thinking that all this cleaning was probably not worth the hour or two of fun I had had earlier that night.

  I was hurting and tired but I knew that I didn’t want to sleep so soon after what had happened. I was also eager to get round to Susie’s apartment. I had decided that I needed to see her face to face to apologise and try to make things right.

  I still saw her as my one chance at happiness and I was damned if I was going to let the opportunity slip. If I couldn’t hold on to her I was afraid I would lose myself to the darkness.

  Throwing on some clothes I grabbed my keys and headed out.

  *******

  It was still early so I sat in my car and watched the building as the sun came up. It was still outside and the silence calmed me. I put the events of the night to the back of my mind as if they hadn’t occurred.

  To me, they had been committed by someone else, the person that was locked up in my head. I did not wish to associate with him at the moment and therefore I made sure his evil little mutterings were silenced.

  As 8am arrived I decided that it was now late enough to call on Susie. I was just about to get out of the car and cross the road when the front door of her building opened.

  I couldn’t believe my eyes! There she stood in her dressing gown, kissing the Detective! He had obviously spent the night with her and was heading off for work.

  I held back the scream that threatened to break forth, not wanting them to hear me. I ran my hands through my hair and realised a tear was rolling down one cheek.

  What the hell was she thinking sleeping with a cop? Obviously what happened between us had meant nothing to her at all. She had been ignoring my calls and texts all this time in favour of him.

  Anger welled up within me. I wanted to smash his face in, hell I wanted to smash her face in. That was a feeling I didn’t want. I loved Susie. She was mine, damn-it. He had no right to try and take her from me.

  I needed some space or I knew that I would march over there and break the door down. Some part of my heartbroken brain knew that would be a big mistake.

  I started the car and headed back home. I needed to think about my next move.

  Ben

  I was floating on air. My evening with Susie had ended on a much better note than I had hoped.

  My God, for a quiet girl she certainly handled herself well in bed. I was shattered, in a good way, and looked forward to repeating the experience many more times in the future.

  I knew that I was in love with her and that one detail was going to make my job that much harder. I had no intention of putting Susie at risk. The only problem was, how could it be avoided when she was the only contact we had with Carl. Even though we hadn’t yet gained the concrete evidence against him, my gut was screaming that this was our guy. Dave was of the same opinion and we spent the morning going over our evidence in detail to ensure that when the time came we would be able to catch the bastard.

  *******

  The profiler’s report came in later that day and upon reading it we were even surer that we should be talking with a certain Mr Carl Dawson.

  “It’s difficult to be sure, what with his change of personality since the accident.” Dave commented after reading the report.

  “Yeah, well I think he might be reverting to type” I muttered remembering Susie’s previous confession.

  “If he hasn’t done anything since the accident, will we be able to convict him?” Dave asked.

  I sighed, this being something I had been wondering myself. If Carl was now unable to kill, did he deserve to be punished for something that he wouldn’t do now?

  “I have a feeling things are changing” I said. “From what Susie says I believe our Mr Dawson may be re-gaining some of his memory”

  The phone rang. Picking up I listened to the information being given and my heart sank. I had hoped that there would be no more bodies before we caught this bastard. I hung up and looked at Dave.

  “Another one?” he asked.

  I nodded “A dog walker came across something in Aspen Woods” I grabbed my jacket and went to text Susie that I might not make it round to hers that evening.

  “Aww crap” Dave muttered as we left
for the crime scene.

  *******

  The body had been found some way into the wooded area and it took us a while to get there from where we had to park the car.

  “Shit, I should have changed my shoes” Dave complained “These are Italian leather and they’re gonna be fucked with all this mud” he continued to trudge through the undergrowth muttering.

  I smiled. Dave always dressed like a bag of rags but his shoes were always top notch. He had a thing for Italian shoes and the guys at the station were always ribbing him about it.

  When we finally got to the scene the rest of the team had the excavation well under way.

  “What do we have?” I asked one of them.

  “It’s a young woman, sir” she said “Early twenties, and looks like she had a rough time before she died. There are signs that she was manacled and possibly tortured. Also signs of severe sexual abuse, although we won’t know everything until forensics get finished” she looked a little upset “she wasn’t buried very deep, although out here it was a million to one that she was discovered. Not a lot of people come out this far for dog walking” she confirmed.

  Dave and I scoured the surrounding area. It was pretty remote. A few hundred meters away we found an old ruin. It looked like it was once a large house.

  “I think this used to be some rich family estate, until the last owner died and it was claimed by the state” Dave informed me.

  There wasn’t much left of the house, just a few low remnants of wall and floor here and there.

  We walked back to the burial site and put in a request to have the area surveyed. It was just a precaution, to ensure there were no other surprises awaiting innocent walkers.

  It was dark when we finally left for home. I called Susie to see if it still ok to visit her. She said to come over as soon as possible. I told her I would get a quick shower at home and pick us up some food on the way over.

  Carl

  I had been sitting in my car for a while trying to come up with a rational excuse for the way I had treated Susie the last time I saw her. Nothing seemed good enough to excuse my behaviour.