All In

by Renee Williams

  “Lisa, ok. I’m just going to go there. Why are you marrying Chris? I know you think your parents will be furious, but this seems a little extreme, don’t you think?”

  I shook my head. “How do you feel about Peyton?”

  I had prepared my speech for this conversation. I knew that she would not agree with my decision. In reality, she didn’t have to agree. I wanted her support, but I didn’t need it. I was an adult. Only I could live my only life.

  She wasn’t going to change my mind. I had made my decisions long before I had arrived in Tennessee. Chris agreeing made it final. No, I hadn’t planned on marry him, but plans changed. They got rearranged.

  She frowned as if I had asked her a stupid question.

  “You know I love Peyton with all my heart.” She was not understanding where I was going with this conversation. I could see her confusion.

  “We were both raised by our biological fathers. There was never a question of whether or not they loved us. We never had to wonder if they had our backs. They would kill a bear for us, and we knew it. Would you want anybody but Connor raising Peyton?” I quizzed her.

  She sighed looking at me. We were the only daughters both our dads had. We were spoiled outrageously by the boys in the family. Our dads were supportive, loving, and caring. Where some African American fathers got a bad rap, our dads had stayed the course and never wavered from the home. I wanted that for my baby too.

  “No, Connor loves Peyton. He’s a wonderful dad.”

  “If you guys hadn’t gotten back together before you had found out you were pregnant, wouldn’t you have given him a chance?” I asked her trying to get her to see my prospective.

  She shook her head. “It’s not the same, Lisa. Connor already loved me, and as stupid as I was, I already loved him too.”

  I smiled at her. “It’s the same, Haley. You know that I don’t lose control the way I lost control with Chris. I’m responsible. Something happened that night for me to allow him to sleep with me. I am not,” I shook my head, “or I was not attracted to white guys. He must have done something for me to pick him.”

  Haley looked at my nervously. “What if he took advantage of your drunk state?”

  I had wondered that for a while, but I couldn’t make myself believe it. All the things that he said that I had said that night sounded exactly like me. And, I trusted my instincts. I was a good judge of character. Chris had all the makings of a good guy.

  Hell, he wanted to marry a girl that he barely even knew to give our baby a strong support system. Not every guy would do that.

  “Do you think he took advantage of me?” I really wanted to know what she thought. She was my cousin. I trusted her judgement too.

  She sat staring at the wall behind my head giving it a sincere thought. “No, I don’t think that. From all appearances, he seems like a good guy,” she admitted.

  I nodded my head. “That’s what I thought too.” It was nice to have someone confirm what I had already believed in my heart.

  Taking a deep breath, “I want you and Connor to be our witnesses at our wedding. We’re getting married on Wednesday. I want you to be my bridesmaid.”

  “But, Lisa...,” Haley interrupted.

  “No, I want to do it soon. When we have this baby, we’ll be married. Other than this decision,” I said rubbing my rounding stomach, “I make good decisions. I trust that I am making one now.”

  She bit her bottom lip. “Are you sure?”

  I nodded my head. I had thought about my decision before I had ever moved to Tennessee. Not the marriage part, but I had wanted to try to see if a relationship could work between us.

  “Yes, you know I got your back like chiropract,” she laughed, “but please be careful, Lisa. I don’t want you to get hurt. A baby doesn’t make a marriage work.”

  “Trust me, Haley. I know, but we promised that we were going to be all in. We’ll have a true marriage with all the benefits that go with it.” I winked at her.

  She cleared her throat. “How are the benefits?” She raised one eyebrow.

  “Very good.” I laughed.

  “Really?” I knew I could depend on Haley. She was my best friend. My cousin.

  “Yass, honey. You would be shocked.” I grinned like a fool because at least I knew we had sex going for us.”

  “Really?”

  “Right! I didn’t expect it either. But, those benefits are going to be awesome.”

  Chris

  I watched Lisa leave the room with Haley knowing that she was probably going to try to convince Lisa not to marry me. I was surprised to realize I didn’t want Haley to change Lisa’s mind. I liked Lisa. We were having a baby. I wanted to see if we could do this. We already had respect and attraction. It was a decent beginning.

  “You want a beer?” Connor asked reaching inside his refrigerator.

  “Yes.” I could use a drink. I didn’t usually drink during the season, but it was a lot going on. I needed to relax. Lisa had me all screwed up.

  “So, you and Lisa?” he asked popping the top off the beers.

  “Yep.”

  “I don’t want to get in your business, but I would be less than a friend if I didn’t ask are you sure you know what you’re doing.”

  If my friend was marrying someone out the blue, I would do the same thing too. I couldn’t fault him his concern. It was just unnecessary. It wasn’t possible for him to change my mind.

  “No, you should ask, but I’ll be honest. I’m going to marry her regardless of whatever you’re about to say.” Lisa and I were already committed. The test had confirmed that we were in this for the long haul.

  Connor gazed at me from the side of his eye. “I’m not questioning, Lisa. I trust her. She’s a good girl,” he began hastily, “but, are you sure it’s your baby. I don’t want to get in your business, but I have to ask,” he finished looking at me nervously.

  “We’ve already had the test done. We got the result yesterday. I’m the father.” I told him trying to set his mind at ease on this one subject.

  He nodded his head clearly relieved.

  “Congrats on the baby, but you guys don’t want to just live together first? Marriage seems pretty big.” Connor sat down on the bar chair next to me.

  “I know marriage is a pretty big deal, but the marriage was my idea. I don’t want to move in with her. I don’t want to be her baby daddy.” I held up my hands and made air quotes around the words baby daddy.

  Connor looked at me as if he wanted to say something but was too nervous to say it.

  I sipped my beer. “Ask me.” I wanted to know what he was thinking. He was my friend. I knew he thought he was looking out for my interest, but my mind was made up.

  “I didn’t know you dated black women.”

  I laughed. “I didn’t know that you dated black women either.” I wasn’t being funny or rude. Before Connor started dating Haley, he had never dated a woman of a different race either.

  He tipped his beer at me. “Touché! Still, our situations are kind of different. You guys hooked up on a drunk night, created a baby, and now you are getting married. Not really the normal order,” he insisted.

  I took another sip of my beer. “It might be different, but the outcome is the same. I’m going to try to make it work with Lisa. I don’t want anyone else raising my child. I know you can’t admit this, but Lisa is hot. She’s smart, hard-working, sexy, and did I say hot?” I grinned at him.

  Connor laughed shaking his head. “Dude, are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m very sure. This marriage is going to work regardless of how it’s beginning.” I was positive of that. I was going to make it so.

  “As long as you’re okay.” He smiled. “Well, at least Haley will have someone else in the family room after the game. When Haley first went to the family room, she was by herself. She can be Lisa’s support.”

  I looked up at Connor. “Are we okay, man?”

  He sighed. “Just don’t screw up okay. I love H
aley. I don’t want to disown you if you hurt her cousin.”

  “I don’t plan on hurting her cousin. I want to get to know her. I want to raise our child together.” I didn’t add that I hoped to eventually fall in love with her.

  “On another note, where you aware that Taylor is dating Ken Simmons?”

  I didn’t feel anything about that even though she had been my fiancée. But, it wasn’t surprising. She seemed like the type of girl that would move on with the next man. I guessed I couldn’t be mad. I had gotten Lisa pregnant. I wouldn’t be a hypocrite.

  “Dude, that ship sailed a long time ago. I don’t miss her. I haven’t missed her for a long time.”

  It was true. Taylor fell a long way from Lisa. Their personalities were miles and miles apart from one another. Taylor’s character couldn’t touch Lisa’s.

  Connor nodded his head. “Good, I didn’t like her anyway. She was rude as hell, and Haley hated the ground she walked on. Nothing made me happier than when you curved her.”

  I glanced at Connor, “Curved her?”

  He laughed, “Right. Meaning you broke up with her. Haley’s brothers are always using some slang. It’s easy to pick up on shit you didn’t even want to say.”

  “Sure.” I wasn’t sure how many siblings Lisa had, but I was pretty sure that they were all going to hate me at first. I would have to win a bunch of people over. I was used to it. I wasn’t like Connor. I hadn’t been raised with money. I had fought my whole life to be successful. I went to college on a full scholarship for hockey. I worked my ass off to get where I was today.

  I turned when I heard the women come back into the room.

  “Haley agreed to be our witness at the wedding,” Lisa said coming back into the kitchen and sitting next to me.

  I reached for her hands and squeezed it. I was happy. I wanted Lisa to have one of her family members with her for the wedding. She was going to be my wife, and her happiness was going to become my priority.

  I don’t know why it didn’t bother me, but I looked forward to showing Lisa that I was dependable and worthy of her trust and one day her love.

  “Good.” At least we had passed one test. I guess the wedding was on.

  Lisa

  On the day of the wedding, my stomach felt nauseous. I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. I was glad that Chris and I had decided to wait to share a room till right after the wedding, not that it really mattered. But, at least, it felt like we were trying to keep some wedding tradition.

  I looked down at my cream off the shoulder dress that I had purchased with Haley the day before. She had told me that she didn’t care that I wasn’t having a wedding. We were going to stick to some damn rules and traditions.

  I shook my head thinking about the long day we had yesterday. Haley called me demanding that we find a wedding a dress. She claimed there was no way she was letting me get married in some old closet foolishness. Whatever that meant.

  I ended up finding the perfect dress. It was a cream colored off the shoulder long dress. It was a wedding dress that I would have selected if we had been getting married on the beach. It was my dream mermaid dress, but I did love it. After I found my dress, Haley and I had a spa day. I had been plucked, massaged, and groomed within an inch of my life.

  Now, I stood by Chris with a small bouquet of flowers that Haley had given me when I got in her car.

  After the ceremony, we all went to a pricey restaurant to eat that Haley and Connor had paid for. Connor’s sister, Tiffany, had been unable to attend the wedding. However, I had spoken with her over the phone. She seemed extremely sweet. She was a college student, and Chris took care of her. I didn’t ask about his parents. I figured he’d tell me when the time was right.

  On the way to the house, Chris gazed over at me dozing off.

  “You tired?”

  It had been two long days. Actually, it had been a long week. Going to the party and telling Chris about the baby, getting the DNA test to confirm paternity, spilling my guts to Haley, and getting married. I was exhausted, but I was now Mrs. Banks.

  “Yep,” I replied laying my head on the headrest of his Range Rover.

  “Well, you can take a bath and relax. Then, go to bed. We did have a long day. Do you work tomorrow?” Chris asked looking over at me.

  “No, I took the day off. Who goes into work a day after their wedding to the man of their dreams?” I winked at him gazing at him suggestively.

  “Man of your dreams, huh?”

  I closed my eyes. “Yep, you’ll just have to make it happen since you wanted to be all in.”

  His lips quirked. “I’m certainly going to try.”

  I glanced over at Chris testing this man of my dreams comment. “So, I have an ultra-sound tomorrow. Do you want to go?” I didn’t know how involved he wanted to be in the pregnancy. I knew he wanted to make our marriage work, but I wasn’t sure what type of man that made him.

  “Of course. Is this where we find out the gender?” he questioned me, looking over at me out the corner of his eye.

  “If we want to find out the gender.” I wasn’t a hundred percent certain I wanted to know. I’d make a decision by tomorrow.

  “I wouldn’t mind knowing.”

  “Maybe.” I guessed it couldn’t hurt. We could fix up a baby room and prepare better if we knew the gender of the baby.

  It felt so weird talking about the baby with Chris. In reality, I hadn’t talked to anyone about the baby because I was trying to keep everything a secret. Now, I had Haley and Chris to discuss my fear and excitement with about the baby.

  Pulling up to his driveway, I was a little apprehensive. I had spent two nights here, but tonight was different. We would consummate our wedding vows.

  He was my husband. I would have to learn how to let that roll off my tongue.

  Husband.

  We walked through the door of his house. No, it was our house. We would live here and raise our baby together. I would have to get used to that too. It was a gorgeous home on a smaller scale than Haley and Chris’s house, but I loved it. It had floor to ceiling windows that overlook a beautiful lake. It had a wrap around porch that I could see myself sitting on during cool nights.

  The kitchen was state of the art even though I didn’t cook very often. Being a doctor, kept me busy, but with a baby, I planned on cooking meals for my child. We would not be eating a bunch of unhealthy meals. I had seen too many obese and unhealthy kids with health issues to allow my child to be one of them.

  “Are you going to take a shower?” he asked guiding me inside the living room. I loved his huge chocolate sectional couch. The huge surround sound speakers and tv would be great to sit and watch movies late at night. Hopefully, cuddling with my husband.

  Just thinking about cuddling with him made my mouth water.

  “Yes, I’m exhausted. I’m going to take one right now. I just want to relax. It has been a long few days.” I walked toward the room at the end of the hall. Chris had moved my stuff into his room earlier that morning.

  I carefully took off my dress and hung it in the closet. I would have it laundered and put it away for safekeeping.

  I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and took a quick shower. Usually, my energy was good, but my body was dragging. I was an OBGYN doctor, and I knew the toll that a baby took on the body. I put on the transparent negligee that I had purchased at the mall. I wanted to look my pregnant sexy best. I hoped he was just as turned on by me as I was by him.

  Hell, all in meant that he was going to go all in tonight. Anticipation raced through my body. I looked forward to exploring his body.

  I slowly walked toward the bed. I was going to wait up for Chris. It was our wedding night. Surely, he was expecting us to make love. I grabbed my pillow and pushed it under my head. I blinked my eyes a few times determined to wait on my husband.

  I woke up to Chris lying beside me snoring lightly. I was embarrassed. I had fallen asleep on our wedding night.

  He was sleepin
g with his arms covering his face. I eased from beside him wanting to make up for last night. Unfilled desire thrummed through my pulse.

  I straddled his body, licking and kissing his nipples. His snores abruptly ended with a moan.

  I kissed my way down his body going toward my ultimate goal. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure if I had gone down on him before, but I was this morning.

  I eased his boxers down his leg. He lifted up to assist me.

  I took his cock in my hand and started stroking him up and down. I stroked him for a minute and then bent over and licked him from bottom to top and back again. I rolled his balls between my fingers giving them my attention too.

  I took him in my mouth, making sure that I allowed my teeth to scrape lightly around his dick.

  “Lisa,” he groaned pressing my head toward his cock. I swirled my tongue around the head, and I tasted his pre-sperm. It tasted salty. I had never been a fan of swallowing, but sometimes a girl had to have a little salt on the rim of her Margarita.

  He threw his back on the pillow moaning louder. His muscles unclenched beneath me. I gripped him tighter with my mouth, hollowing out my cheeks to take more of him in. He pressed my head forcing me to go faster and faster as if I really needed anymore prompting.

  I teased the underside of him with my tongue.

  White girls weren’t the only ones that knew how to give blowjobs.

  “Lisa,” he breathed choppily. “I’m about to cum, baby.”

  I licked him one more time because swallowing was something that I had absolutely no interest in doing.

  I kissed my way back up his body straddling his hips. Moving my panties to the side, I impaled myself on him.

  We both groaned in unison. It felt good. Sleeping with him without protection was bliss. He was the first guy that had ever entered my vajajay without that piece of elastic between us.