Slumber (Beauty Never Dies Chronicles Book 1)

by J. L. Weil

  “I don’t want you to,” I whispered and reached up, rubbing my cheek against his stubbly one.

  But he pulled back, and our eyes locked. A wealth of emotion shone in his eyes. “Shit,” he muttered, taking a ragged breath.

  Not the response I’d been expecting. Not when my body was starved for contact, starved for him.

  Chapter 22

  We were twisted up in each other, and my skin was flushed. “What’s wrong?”

  His eyes, shimmery silver, burned into mine. “There is nothing I want more right now than you. Nothing.”

  He had no idea what it meant to me to hear him admit his feelings. I could barely swallow. Dash had a way about him that made me feel loved, cherished, and crazy beautiful. Since I didn’t have the words to tell him what was going on within me, I reached up to seal my lips with his.

  “Wait. Just hold on a second,” he murmured against my mouth.

  What could possibly be wrong? Then it dawned on me. “Let me guess. There are no condoms in the new world.” I might never have done the deed, but the last thing I needed was to risk getting pregnant in this world. Thank God one of us had sense to remember.

  He let a nervous chuckle. “There are other ways.”

  “Good.” I assumed we would go back to kissing, but he only stared at me. Why did I feel like there was a big fat but coming?

  “But. …”

  And here it came. My arms dropped away from his neck as I waited for him to tell me what was bothering him. The haze slowly began to wear away, and I noticed the lines of unease wrinkling his forehead. I brushed away a strand of dark hair that had fallen over his forehead. “What is it? You can tell me anything.”

  “I never expected to feel like this. No matter how much I want this—and trust me, I want you—we can’t do this.”

  I lay there shocked, stunned, and stupefied. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “I get that sex is complicated, but I’m not asking you to marry me.”

  “It’s not that,” he replied.

  “Then what?” I pressed.

  He exhaled right before he dropped the bomb. “There was someone else before the mist.”

  I was rendered motionless. And then it hit me all at once, what he was telling me. “You have a girlfriend,” I accused.

  He closed his eyes and nodded. “I don’t know why I didn’t say anything before. It’s no excuse. I should have told you, but I stupidly thought I could resist you, resist this pull I can’t seem to control that draws me to you.”

  The life was sucked from the room, a piercing ache stabbing my heart. I shoved at his chest, throwing his body off me. “Why are you just now telling me this?” Pain lanced within me, making my voice crack. Being smacked would have felt better.

  Lying back on the bed, he raked his fingers through his disheveled hair. Tousled by me, I might add. “Because I’m a jerk. I didn’t know things between us were going to get. …”

  He didn’t need to finish. I’d heard enough. “You’re looking for her.”

  “Yeah,” he admitted.

  I tried to rein in the anger suddenly assailing me as it accompanied my great disappointment. “But you found me instead.”

  “I never intended for things to go this far.” His voice was soft and flooded with regret.

  He had warned me, and maybe I should have listened, but it’s not like he had made it easy on me: kissing me, flirting with me, touching me. He hadn’t acted like a guy who was in love with someone else. “It’s a little too late.” If he apologized, I was going to lose it. I didn’t want to hear he was sorry he’d kissed me, sorry he’d touched me, sorry he’d developed feelings for me.

  I rolled over, pissed off and cursing Dash Darhk to seven different kinds of hell. I bit my lip, refusing to let the tears that threatened to spill, even though my chest ached so badly.

  “Freckles—”

  I flinched and shook my head, and a flash of lightning cracked outside. That was Dash’s cue that I didn’t want to talk anymore tonight. And if he’d tried to touch me again, I would have singed all the hair from his body.

  Silence ticked away the minutes. Eventually, he sighed and rolled over. Back to back, I inched as close as I could to the edge of the bed, putting space between us. With my nose kissing the wall, my comfort mattered very little. It wasn’t as if I was going to sleep at all.

  We might be safe here for a night, but I wasn’t comforted. I’d never felt more alone in my life. And it wasn’t until I heard the gentle inhales of Dash sleeping that I gave in, allowing the tears to flow freely and purging myself of my internal emotional mess.

  Tonight I let myself be a girl. I let myself hurt.

  Tomorrow was another battle.

  I’d never woken up with such a strong urge to kick someone off the bed. The only problem: when I rolled over, he wasn’t there. I was alone on the squeaky, old mattress. Blinking away the sticky residue of sleep and tears, I searched the room.

  If the two-timing scum had left me here, tucking his tail between his legs and running, so help me, I’d track him down and do more than squeeze his balls. I’d—

  Wow. I sounded like one of those psychotic girlfriends who slashed their boyfriends’ tires and stalked their Facebook. And I was definitely not one of those girls. Or hadn’t been, prior to meeting Dash.

  What was he doing to me? I’d never threatened a guy’s manhood in so many ways in my other life. I wasn’t convinced Dash was the best influence on me, but it didn’t stop the hurt of being rejected or my heart from wanting him.

  In a span of less than thirty seconds, I managed to get myself worked up, and it was all for nothing as my eyes settled on Dash. The morning light cast fluttering shadows over his face as he sat, brooding, out the ivy-covered window, and my heart stabled to a reasonable pace.

  Why did he have to be so damn good looking? Why couldn’t he be fat and short, instead of the perfect specimen of male? Why did I have to fall for someone who was honorable and unavailable? My chest squeezed.

  To my great disappointment, he had tugged his shirt back on, but the same could not be said for me.

  Crap.

  I was more or less naked.

  Trying to make as little movement as possible, I scanned the bed and the floor for my shirt while, at the same time, keeping the blanket wrapped around me. It wasn’t precisely an easy task.

  “You’re awake.” Dash’s voice filled the quiet room.

  My eyes snapped up, and I tried to remove any lingering dewiness from my expression.

  He strolled over the rickety wooden floor and scooped my shirt off the floor, my eyes trailing his every movement. “You looking for this?”

  Heat traveled up my spine, and awkwardness descended. Here I was, sitting in the bed, shirtless, and the guy I should spurn was making my heart gallop.

  He tossed me my tank. “You thought I left you,” he said, reading the range of emotion still on my face.

  I angled my head, giving him a challenging glare. “Can you blame me?” I channeled my embarrassment into anger, but more than anything, I was hurt. I refused to let it show, so anger it was.

  Sitting on the edge of the mattress, he took a deep breath. “I should have told you from the get-go.”

  I snatched the tank off the bed. “Yeah, you should have,” I said, whipping the material over my head, irritation shedding any propriety I might have felt.

  “I can say sorry until I’m blue in the face, but it won’t change the past. It was never my intention to hurt you. I’ve done nothing but try to protect you, as hard as that is,” he added, muttering.

  I cut him a sharp look. Now was not the time to joke. I didn’t feel like laughing. Scooting around him to the end of the bed, I looked for my boots. I couldn’t stay in this little house another second. I needed air.

  “Okay, bad joke. But seriously, you can’t stay mad at me forever.”

  That was what he thought.

  But
he was probably right. My feelings for him got in the way, making it impossible to stay angry for long, though he deserved it … and more. “Just until hell freezes over.”

  “I think it already has.”

  He had a point.

  I laced my boots, and without a backward glance, I trekked down the stairs, snagging my bag on the way out. I’d miss this little house, and before last night, I’d thought it had been the answer to my prayers—a little slice of life prior to the mist untouched and preserved.

  Dash had tainted that dream.

  Throwing my hair up into a messy bun using some twigs, I worked my way through the tangle of vines. This was more effort than it was worth.

  Dash was waiting for me, leaning against a tree when I finally broke free. I didn’t bother to ask him how he was suddenly outside.

  There was something different about him. Guilt. Remorse. I couldn’t put my finger on it and chalked it up to what had happened between us last night. Of course, things were going to be different. No matter how much I wished it could be otherwise, things had changed between us.

  And it saddened me.

  Nothing was going to be the same. There was this weird vibe—neither of us sure how to act around the other—and I had almost no one in this world. I couldn’t afford to lose the one who had been there for me since the beginning. There were bigger things than my disappointed heart. I still needed to find my parents, and I couldn’t leave my sister in the power of the Institute.

  Everything was so messed up.

  How did my life become a tangled web?

  I had no idea how I was going to find my parents or save my sister, but I had to. And that was where Dash came in. I needed him. Without him, I was a lamb in the lion’s den—bottom of the food chain.

  Trees lined a stony path as we began our journey toward Somber Mountain—and somber it was. We couldn’t afford to stay in the same place for more than a night or two, the perks of life on the run.

  The air seemed to be saturated in a perpetual mist, but as I squinted, looking in the distance, something caught my eye through the fog—the peak of a tower above the rolling vapor. There was only one place in this vicinity that had a fortress that could reach the sky.

  Diamond Towers.

  My even footsteps wavered. We were headed in the wrong direction, not away from the white city, but right toward its front gates. I stopped. “I thought we were going to Somber Mountain.” My sense of direction might not always have been on point, but it was hard to mistake the gleaming city.

  What is Dash up to?

  “So does this mean you’re talking to me?”

  I risked a glance at his face. Wrong move.

  It was almost impossible to stay mad at him when he used his dimples, and I hated him for it. My defenses dissolved, making room for sympathy. “It does if you tell me why we’re headed to Diamond Towers.” I was probably being paranoid and there was a rational explanation, but it didn’t stop the curdling of sour in my stomach.

  “Change of plans,” he informed me.

  I didn’t like the sound of that.

  “I’ve had some time to think, and—”

  Well, so had I. And I’d come up with a few of my own ideas. “I want to go after Monroe,” I interrupted. “I want to save her.” Whether it had been accidental or pure luck, Dash had done what we had set out to do: find my family. Well, part of my family, but I couldn’t abandon her now. Monroe needed me, more than I needed Dash to love me.

  He shoved his hands into his back pockets. “I knew you were going to say that. Twenty-four hours ago, I would have told you the idea was insane. I would have done everything possible to change your mind, maybe even kidnapped you, but … I understand.”

  “You do?” I was all prepared to give him this long-winded speech about how I couldn’t abandon Monroe/Ember.

  “I still think it’s a crazy idea,” he grumbled.

  “The Institute kidnapped my sister.”

  His brows slammed together. “Trust me, I get it. If it was my brother, nothing would stop me, which is why we’re going to Diamond Towers, not Somber Mountain. I’m a step ahead of you.”

  I crossed my arms. “Then why the gloom and doom face?” He was hiding something. It was in his eyes.

  His scowl deepened. “So, I might have an ulterior motive. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.”

  Ugh. I knew it. There was more. There was always more. I folded my arms and shifted my weight to one foot. “Just tell me. If you know something. …”

  He didn’t say anything for a long moment, and I thought I was going to have to threaten him. “The moment I realized Ember was your sister, it fell into place.”

  “What did?”

  Dash looked at me. “Charlotte, I know where your parents are.”

  “What do you mean? How could you possibly know?” The tense lines on his forehead and the dismal silver eyes made me uneasy. He was going to tell me something I didn’t want to hear, like my parents were dead.

  “They’re in Diamond Towers.”

  My mouth dropped. I wasn’t expecting that bomb.

  “At the Institute, to be specific,” he clarified, making matters worse. “Your parents are one of the founding trustees. They run the Institute.”

  He was lying. He had to be. I honestly didn’t know what to say. “You can’t be serious. My parents? No way.”

  He sighed, rubbing his palm along his jaw. “I wish I was wrong.”

  Time stopped, and the balance of the universe shifted. I didn’t want to believe what he was trying to tell me. I’d only known Dash for a few weeks. My parents had been there for me my entire life. “You’re serious.”

  He nodded. “Afraid so.”

  My throat felt like steel wool as I swallowed, and my shoulders slumped in the finality of his words. “I-I don’t understand.” Everything he’d ever told me about the Institute portrayed them to be monsters, but my parents weren’t. They were loving, kind, and smart.

  “Neither do I,” he said. “At the Institute, Ember was one of the younger recruits. She was already there when I woke, and it didn’t take long to figure out her rank in the Institute. It was because of who her parents were that gave Ember the cocky, borderline bitchy, attitude.”

  I narrowed my eyes. This was my sister he was talking about, but after seeing her the other day, I had to agree. She had been a bitch. It was hard to hear the things he was saying about my family. Everything I’d heard about the Institute had been bad. “I need to talk to them. I need to see them”—with my own eyes. How could my parents be mixed up with something as corrupt as the Institute?

  He nodded. “I knew you would say that, which is why you’re not going to Somber Mountain.”

  “But Diamond Towers? Isn’t that risky?” My voice was flat.

  “Everything with the Institute is a risk.” Eyes tapered, Dash looked at me. “I’m convinced you’re trying to get me killed.”

  I held up my wrists, lips twisting. “Guilty. That’s been my plan the whole time. I’m a secret agent.”

  “I knew it.” He smiled, but it was forced.

  I bristled, reading the expression that settled across his face. I didn’t need to be a mind reader to know what was coming next. “You’re not coming with me,” I guessed. In the back of my mind, I’d always known we eventually would part ways, but now that it was here, I wasn’t ready to say good-bye.

  Dash cleared his throat, avoiding my gaze. “I can’t. You know I can’t. The Institute will just put me back in the dungeon or worse. And I still need to find my mom and brother.”

  My heart stuttered. “Find her.” I hated the jealousy in my tone, but there was nothing I could do to prevent it. The idea of him with some other girl ate away at me, filling me with bitterness.

  He lifted my chin. “I promised her I would.”

  “Right.” I rolled my eyes, squelching a burst of disappointment.

  His gaze veered toward the towers as he went back to that d
ay when devastation hit in the form of a toxic vapor. “Before the mist rolled in, we’d been together,” he began.

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear this. Kicking a rock, I told myself to hear him out, because I could see it was important to him that I understood.

  “I picked her up from school when the emergency warnings started going off, followed by the public announcement. Chaos hit: people running everywhere, cars jamming together on the roads trying to escape the bustle of the city. I don’t know how, but together we made it to one of the safe zones, and it was there we got separated. We were ushered down different halls, and before she disappeared, I told her I would find her.”

  And he was the type of guy to keep a promise … or die trying. That didn’t mean I had to like her, because I didn’t. Right now, as shallow as it might have been, I wished he would never find her. Then maybe he would see what was right in front of him—what we had together … what we could have together.

  It made perfect sense to me, like the universe was telling us something. I didn’t think Dash just happened to find me in that holding pod, or that I conveniently woke up when his lips touched mine. There was something between us I couldn’t explain, but I felt it deep within my bones. Call it fate, but no matter what name you slapped on it, there was no denying the natural connection. For me, it was crystal clear.

  I could wait.

  Or so I told myself, but faced with the knowledge this might be the last time I saw him, caused my heart to lodge itself in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn’t catch my breath.

  Lightning cut through the sky behind him, casting his features in a ghostly glow. My emotions were getting the best of me, causing me to lose my grip on reality. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what was right from wrong—what was good or bad.

  Dash dropped his hands to his sides, careful not to touch me. Wise move. My body was humming with the current in the air. “Don’t be mad. I’m going to make sure you’re safe.”

  “And how do you plan to do that?” I asked.

  “I don’t want to fight with you, Freckles. You have a choice. I won’t force you to go. I have no loyalty to the Institute.”