When You Were Mine

by Serle, Rebecca

  “What?” Olivia answers for me.

  Juliet looks at me. “Rob Monteg? I’m sure you remember. You guys were best friends.”

  “Right, yeah. He still lives here.” I can feel Olivia’s eyes on me, but I don’t offer anything more. I’m not sure what to say, anyway. That Rob’s my boyfriend now? Is that even true?

  “It’s been a long time,” she says, but it’s unclear whether she’s talking to me or remembering to herself.

  “So you guys just moved?” I ask, steering the conversation away from Rob.

  She nods. “Your parents tell you?”

  I shake my head. “Actually, no. I saw it in the paper.”

  She smiles slightly and clicks the lock on her car. “Makes sense.”

  “This is kind of weird,” I say. “It’s been forever.”

  “Yeah,” she says, but again, that’s all.

  When I was little, I used to think about this moment over and over. If she ever came back, if I ever got to see her again, what I would say. How I would forgive her or apologize or throw my arms around her neck and beg her to play dolls with me. But we’re seventeen now, not seven, and I’m not sure how to act. Rob’s better at this. He can talk to anyone, about anything. One time we went to Colonial Williamsburg on a trip with our parents, and he talked to the shoemaker for an hour about their mutual love of the Lakers. I didn’t even know colonial people watched television, but Rob got it out of him. His smile just kind of melts people. They end up spilling.

  “So where are you guys living?” Olivia asks.

  “Some house by the beach,” she says. “It’s fine.”

  “Cool.” Olivia looks at me like, Good luck with that, and turns to go back over toward Ben. “Nice to meet you!” she calls over her shoulder.

  Juliet smiles, but it’s stiff. And she doesn’t wave. It’s a smile far better suited to the girl who beheaded my favorite Barbie than the one who was my best friend in kindergarten.

  “Do you need help finding classes or anything? Thursdays we don’t have assembly, so we just go straight to first period.”

  “I need to find . . .” She rummages in her gigantic bag and extracts a piece of paper. “Mr. Johnson,” she says.

  “He’s probably in his office at Cooper House,” I say. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

  We start walking. Rob, Ben, and Olivia are descending toward Cooper House below us, but I decide not to call down to them.

  “So how come you’re starting today?”

  “We were in Italy yesterday,” she says. “My dad couldn’t get back.” Italy. Right. I remember when we used to make pizzas at Rob’s together. I guess life is pretty different now.

  “Sounds exciting.”

  “I guess,” she says flatly.

  Okay, then. “So, what brings you guys back?”

  “My mom wanted a change. LA gets tiring after a while.” She readjusts her book bag. It’s Tod’s. White leather. The kind Olivia wanted to get this year.

  “Mhm, I’ll bet.”

  “Have you ever lived there?”

  “Oh, no,” I say. “But, you know, I get it.” Of course I’ve never lived there. I would have called her. We would have been friends, wouldn’t we?

  She gives me a look that I take to mean I definitely do not get it. Luckily, we’re at Mr. Johnson’s office. So for now, my time with Juliet is coming to a close.

  “Here’s your stop. He should be in there.” I point to the left, past the entryway.

  “Thanks.”

  “We usually have lunch in the courtyard, if you want to join us. And I guess our families will get together, so I’ll see you.” The silhouette of Rob’s and my parents in our living room last night comes back to me. Something tells me that they’re not quite as interested in rekindling a friendship as I am. And I am. Seeing her again makes me think about how close we were, and how I miss her, even after all these years. Maybe once she settles in, she’ll let her guard down.

  “Sure,” Juliet says. She smiles, and it seems genuine, or at least as close to it as I’ve come so far. I glance down at my watch, and I’m already a minute late for Spanish. Charlie is going to kill me. I open my mouth to say good-bye, but I’m met with the back of her head. She has already moved on.

  Scene Five

  “So I’m telling Jake this is ridiculous,” Charlie is saying. “I mean, who would possibly camp out outside an IHOP? It’s not like it’s the opening of Star Wars, or whatever. It’s a twenty-four-hour diner.”

  “That’s why I love Ben,” Olivia says. “He’s totally unexpected.”

  “Love?” Charlie guffaws, and some of her sandwich goes flying across the table.

  “No, not love,” Olivia says, blushing. “You know what I mean.”

  “I just don’t understand.” Charlie sighs. “I ask Jake to plan a fun weekend activity, and this is what he comes up with?”

  “He wants you to camp out at an IHOP?” I ask. I’m draped over the table sipping on a Coke. I’ve forgone sparkling water today. I need the caffeine.

  “Yes,” Charlie says. “Obviously my life is a joke.”

  Olivia nods in agreement, and Charlie shoves her. “I’m just trying to be supportive,” Olivia mumbles. “Anyway, I thought we were going to Malibu?”

  “We cannot go to Malibu. We have a school dance. A dance we are planning.” Charlie looks at me, and I’m surprised to see her eyes are welling up. “I’m just so sick of doing everything all by myself.”

  “You can’t let him get to you like this,” I say. I can’t believe she’s this upset about Jake. I mean, it’s Jake. He still thinks fart jokes are funny and refers to his parents by their first names.

  But then I realize I have it all wrong, and I could practically kick myself for being so stupid. She’s not thinking about Jake. She’s thinking about her mom. She presses her fingertips against her temples, and it’s all I can do not to go over and lean my head on her shoulder and wrap my arms around her. She wouldn’t let me, though. Lunchtime in the courtyard is not the place she wants to be talking about her mom dying. Not that she likes to talk about her at all, actually. I think we’ve had exactly two conversations about it since her mom passed away in the seventh grade. The first was when we started high school. My mom took us shopping for back-to-school clothes, and Charlie started crying in the dressing room, saying how she wasn’t sure if she should buy this black sweater because her mom always said she looked so much prettier in color.

  The second time was when she decided to sleep with Matt. She knew her mother wouldn’t approve, and she started asking me all these crazy questions about whether I believed in God and what if religion had it right and we were going to hell. Because really, she said, how would we know?

  Charlie’s comment has silenced the three of us, and I’m not sure Olivia understands why, but she’s not saying anything either way.

  When Charlie’s mom first got sick, Charlie slept over at my house for a week. She refused to go home. She wouldn’t even talk to her mom on the phone. I remember being terrified. I think I was more scared of her reaction than I was when her mom actually died. There is something about Charlie that is so hard sometimes. So set and determined. It was like she couldn’t figure out a theory on death, and until she did, she wasn’t going home.

  “If you had to rank who is cutest in our class, who would you list as the top five?” Olivia asks, looking thoughtful.

  “Do they have to be in order?” Charlie asks. She looks grateful for the subject change.

  “Yes. But it has to be objective. Like, you can’t put Jake first.”

  “Well, what if I think Jake is the cutest?”

  Olivia considers this. “That’s fine, I guess. So we’d have Jake, Ben, obviously, Rob. Definitely Matt—” Charlie looks revolted at the mention of her ex, but Olivia continues. “Char, come on. It’s true.”

  “Who would you put down?” Charlie asks me.

  “Rob, I guess.”

  Olivia nods, writing. She looks up,
kind of sheepish. “You know who else I’d put?”

  “Hmmm?” Charlie hums, pulling apart her sandwich.

  “Len.” Olivia bites her lip and looks at Charlie.

  “Len?” Charlie balks.

  “You’re kidding,” I echo.

  Olivia squints at the entrance to the cafeteria. Len is standing there talking to Dorothy Spellor. I wonder if they’re dating, but I doubt it. Somehow he doesn’t exactly seem like the boyfriend type.

  “That’s nauseating,” Charlie says.

  “I just don’t see it,” I say. “His hair is greasy.”

  “Exactly,” Olivia says, eyebrows raised. “It’s sexy.”

  “Are you attracted to the drive-through guy at McDonald’s too?” I ask.

  “Funny.” Olivia looks back down at her list. “There’s just something interesting about him, you know? Like there’s more to him than meets the eye. Stuff we don’t know about him.”

  “He’s an idiot,” Charlie says. “That’s really all I need to know.”

  I glance back at Len. He’s juggling two apples, then tossing one to Dorothy. She smiles.

  “Hey.”

  I turn around, and Juliet is standing there. She has changed outfits since I last saw her, or maybe it’s just that she now has a bright pink cardigan over her white dress. She’s balancing a tray with a sandwich and an apple. I’m happy she decided to join us. Maybe it’s a first step.

  “Here, sit.” I gesture next to me, and Olivia reluctantly moves over.

  Charlie gives me a sideways glance with her eyebrow arched—Who is this girl? The only people who ever eat with us are Jake and Ben and Rob, and maybe Lauren, but generally only if SAC’s afternoon meeting has been canceled or we have business to discuss. Charlie would say inviting a stranger to sit with us without checking with the others first is not appropriate courtyard behavior. But Juliet’s not a stranger. She’s my cousin.

  “Hey,” Olivia says. She lifts her hand off the table and gives a small wave. “How’s your first day going?” Her words are a little slurred. She has her lunchtime apple stuck in her mouth.

  Charlie clears her throat, and I interrupt. “Sorry. This is my cousin, Juliet. Juliet, this is Charlie.” I flip a casual hand in Olivia’s direction. “You guys met this morning.”

  Charlie smiles coolly. “You’re from LA, right?”

  “Yeah,” Juliet says. She doesn’t question where Charlie got her information, but why would she? Her move was announced on the front page of the paper. I’m sure she’s used to strangers knowing her life story.

  She plays with the edges of her napkin, and everyone goes back, more or less, to eating.

  “So what’s the deal with the guys at this school?” Juliet asks.

  “Do you have a boyfriend at home?” Olivia says.

  “Not really. My parents think I do. Some intern from my dad’s office.” She waves her free hand around like even the idea is ridiculous. “His name is Paris. Can you imagine?”

  Olivia smiles. “I once dated a guy named Belgium.”

  “That wasn’t his real name,” Charlie interrupts. “Anyway, the boys here are okay. We tolerate them. Well, besides Rose.”

  Charlie winks at me, and I can feel my face get hot. Please don’t say his name. Please don’t say his name.

  “What’s up with you?” Juliet asks me.

  “Nothing,” I say. I glare at Charlie and search for her leg under the table.

  “She’s dating the best guy in school,” Charlie says, unfazed. “It’s totally unfair. He’s, like, the only good one.”

  “Hey!” Olivia interjects.

  “Oh, please.” Charlie rolls her eyes. “Ben is my brother. It’s well within my rights to call him an ass.”

  “So far I’ve only seen one who I think is pretty hot,” Juliet says.

  “Yeah?” Charlie says, leaning over me. “Len?” She looks at Olivia and winks.

  Juliet shrugs. “Dunno his name. We didn’t meet. Cute, though. Blue T-shirt, khaki shorts. Great body. Totally my type.”

  I swallow. Hard.

  Rob has on a blue T-shirt today. Rob is also wearing khaki shorts. Is it possible she wouldn’t recognize him after all these years?

  Charlie clearly hasn’t caught on, because she mumbles something about pointing him out. “You’re pretty,” she says, looking Juliet over, “and boys at this school are idiots. You’ll do just fine.”

  Charlie has a rule about new friends. It’s really simple: She doesn’t make them. Not good ones, anyway. She says loyalty is hard to come by, and once you find it, you hold on to it. She doesn’t trust new people. It took her almost a year to get to the point where she really let Olivia in. I know Charlie isn’t being incredibly welcoming to Juliet, but I’m impressed she’s being this nice.

  “Are you coming to the dance tomorrow?” Olivia asks.

  Juliet looks up from her sandwich. “I didn’t know there was one.”

  Olivia nods enthusiastically. “Fall Back. We plan it. We’re on the social committee.”

  “We are the social committee,” Charlie corrects. I can tell she’s wishing Olivia would stop talking. We can both see where this is going.

  “We’ve decided not to bring dates, though,” Olivia says.

  “Why?” Juliet looks put off, but it’s hard to tell if that’s just her permanent face. Everything seems like it mildly offends her.

  “We’re spending some girl time?” Olivia looks at Charlie to clarify. Charlie just rolls her eyes. “Anyway,” Olivia says, “you’re welcome to come with us.”

  “Thanks.” Juliet glances at Taylor Simsburg as he passes. Olivia notices and opens her mouth to object, or something, but Charlie pipes up first.

  “Here come the Three Musketeers now,” she says.

  Ben, Jake, and Rob are headed our way. Jake is wearing a baseball cap, so I know immediately he will be fighting with Charlie. They’re illegal on school grounds, and Charlie is constantly saying things like “Why don’t you get in trouble for something worthwhile?”

  Rob, as I thought, is wearing a blue T-shirt and khaki shorts, and the second he comes into view, Juliet squeals, “That’s him!” It’s the most animated I’ve seen her get about anything all day. Italy included.

  “Who?” Charlie says. She’s already accusing. There is no good option out of the three.

  “Blue T-shirt,” Juliet says, clearly not catching on to Charlie’s tone. She pulls a tube of lip gloss out of her Tod’s purse. I put my sandwich down. All of a sudden I feel like I’m going to lose my lunch.

  Charlie opens her mouth wide and looks at me, but by the time she is ready to say something, the boys are already at the table. Juliet is delicately blotting the edges of her mouth with a napkin. I wonder what her power move is. Whatever it is, I have a feeling I’m about to see it.

  Thankfully, Rob comes over and stands directly behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I lean my head back on his stomach and close my eyes, briefly. It’s the most forward I’ve been with him in public, but I want to do something to show Juliet that he’s taken. That he’s mine.

  “This is Juliet,” Olivia says to Ben, who has scooted himself in next to her and is picking off her plate.

  “You have no manners,” Charlie announces.

  “Tell Dad,” Ben says, winking.

  Rob takes one of his hands off my shoulders and extends it to Juliet.

  “It’s been forever,” he says. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “Oh my God. Rob?”

  Rob laughs. “Yep, that’s me.” His voice is soft, and he lets his hand brush the back of my arm.

  She nods and bites her lower lip. I study her, closely. That might be it. The power move, I mean. It’s hard to tell. A lot about her seems, well, structured. Like she’s got a plan. One thing she doesn’t seem is surprised. Not shocked that Rob is clearly with me. Not even remorseful of calling him hot.

  “How’s your first day back?” he asks.

  “Okay, I gu
ess,” she says, not taking her eyes off him. “Better now.” She glances quickly at me and Charlie to show she doesn’t just mean Rob. “Hey, are you going to the dance tomorrow?”

  For a second I’m not sure who she’s addressing, but then Rob lifts his hand off my hair, and I see Juliet is staring at him.

  “Think so,” he says.

  “Be my date.”

  I can’t possibly have heard her right. She did not just invite Rob, my Rob, to be her date to the school dance. His hand is on my shoulder. We’re touching.

  “Oh, come on, Rose,” Juliet says. “You girls are going together. Lend him out. I don’t know anyone else. And it would be good to catch up.” Her tone of voice has changed. She’s talking to me like we actually are cousins. Like we’ve known each other for forever and she’s asking to borrow my gray sweater. Not Rob.

  I look at Charlie. I’m desperate to have her say something, anything, but she has ripped the baseball hat off of Jake’s head and is waving it around. She might as well be in the math cubicles, she’s so far away now. Olivia is whispering something to Ben and giggling. I’m alone here.

  Rob will turn her down. Any second now he will say “Sorry, I don’t think so” or “You should go with the girls.” But he doesn’t say any of those things. I arch around, and he’s staring at her. His expression has changed. He looks confused. Like he doesn’t know the answer. How could he possibly not know the answer?

  “Come on,” Juliet says slowly. “It’s just a dance.” She bites her lip again.

  “You should really come with us,” I interject. “It’ll be fun, and we’re getting ready at Olivia’s. Her house is, like, the size of Texas.” I’m pulling out all the stops, but Juliet’s house is probably better stocked than Olivia’s. I doubt this is even tempting her.

  “I want to go with Rob,” Juliet says.

  Here’s the thing about me: I’ve never liked confrontation. Ever since I was little, I’ve been terrified of upsetting people. I’d much rather just keep the peace. Which is fine, usually, but it also means I have absolutely no idea what to do now. Charlie is the one who can tell people off, the one who has no trouble standing up for herself. And me? Well, I’m used to standing behind her.