Salvation

by Ahren Sanders

  The minute my eyes hit his, I scream, clambering to get over the back of the sofa. Cruz helps me, and people move as I run into my dad’s outstretched arms. I sink my head into his neck and wail, not caring about our audience.

  “How… What… Why…?” I stammer and stutter, trying to form words. The beating of my heart and the rushing in my ears drowns his response out. I hold tight as he runs a hand down my back.

  “Little Star, calm down. Shhh, calm down,” Dad soothes me and I’m momentarily taken back to the day he said the same words when he was going to prison.

  “Babe, it’s okay.” Robbie’s warm hand cups my cheek and pushes my hair behind my ear. “Please stop crying.” I nuzzle into his palm. “Birthday surprises.”

  It takes a minute for me to gather my composure, but when I lift back and see the tears in my dad’s eyes, I cry harder.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m out.” Relief and surprise hit me at the same time.

  “You’re out?”

  “Yeah, I’m out, here to stay. You’re old man is finally back.”

  “Oh, Daddy! How?”

  He looks over my shoulder, and I remember we’re surrounded by people, causing me to blush. Dad puts me down, and I turn to see every woman in the room with tears in their eyes and every man with a grin.

  I wipe my face and smile widely. “Everyone, this is my dad, Thad Walker.”

  If I thought the night couldn’t get any better, I was wrong. As soon as I introduce Dad, everyone moves in.

  Robbie pours champagne as Dad explains his premature release. I’ll never understand, but apparently, James Hayes works miracles. He talked to a few people and insisted that Dad’s parole be considered early, considering the shitty circumstances he was in jail for. He vouched for him and told the prosecutor that a man like my dad was a person of honor, not a monster. So they released him five months ahead of schedule.

  Dad acclimates to the group better than I imagined he would have. The few times he catches me staring, his face softens.

  Robbie pulls me away to the back porch and holds me close before speaking. “You okay?”

  “I can’t believe this. It’s the happiest night of my life.”

  “The night’s not over yet. I have a few tricks left up my sleeve.”

  “Robbie, I can’t handle anymore. I’m emotionally spent. How the hell did you pull this off? It’s still surreal to me that my dad is in the house, with our families, celebrating my birthday.”

  “You deserve this.”

  “I love you so much. Thank you.”

  He starts to say something, but Raven walks out, giggling. “Present time! Thad looks like he may blow a gasket if you two don’t come back in.”

  Robbie grunts as we follow Raven back to the living room. “Figures.”

  Perfumes, scarves, earrings, and design books scatter the table when Robbie hands me the last gift. His face is skeptical as I tear through the paper. When I open the box and see a black helmet with deep blue swirls, I scrunch my face.

  “It was made for you, for the bike,” he explains.

  “Really? Finally, I get to ride on the bike???” I put the helmet on, twisting for everyone to see.

  “Told you I’d take you. Needed the weather to be right, and now’s perfect.”

  “I’m so excited!”

  “Shit, I need a drink. A stiff one.” Dad says, getting up and heading to the kitchen. He mutters the whole way about ‘baby girl, serious boyfriend, fucking motorcycle’ and I fall to the side laughing. Cruz catches me and kisses my head lightly.

  “This is your life now.”

  “I hope so. Think Dad is going to go berserk when he finds out I spend four nights a week at Robbie’s?”

  “Oh yeah, but that’s the fun part… I’m glad to have a front row seat.”

  “I love you, Cruz. Thank you for everything.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I’m about to hit Declan up for tickets to a few of his shows.”

  I open my mouth to say something else, but Finn sits next to me, yanking me into a hug. “How ya doing 522?”

  “Do I have my own code now?”

  “You’re one of us, so, yeah.”

  “That’s the best gift ever. Well, besides my dad coming home, that’s the coolest.”

  “Get used to it. And know that 626 is looking at me with fucking spears. He thinks he scares me, but nah.”

  “626 can cool it. I’m hugging my hero.”

  His body rumbles with laughter as he hugs me close then kisses my forehead. “Happy birthday, Little Star.”

  I smile at his use of my nickname, formally reserved for family. “I think I love you, Finn Black. It’s impossible not to.”

  A groan rumbles from my side, and we both look up to see Robbie glaring. He sits down and scoops me into his lap, wrapping his arm around my waist possessively. “That’s better.”

  “Disease… all of you have lost your damn minds,” Finn mumbles.

  “You just wait,” Robbie replies.

  I’m about to ask what they’re talking about when Declan walks up and slaps Robbie on the shoulder.

  “I thought I held the title as best birthday surprises, but seems you beat my ass.”

  “Better up your game then.” Robbie chuckles.

  “I hate to tell you boys, but I don’t think anything in the world could outdo tonight,” I add.

  For the first time in my life, I feel lucky, loved, and completely safe.

  Chapter 28

  I’m Trash

  Ember

  My arms and legs tighten around Robbie as he guides his bike into the empty parking spot in front of my townhome. When he cuts the engine, I reluctantly peel myself away and hop off. We both remove our helmets, and I run my fingers through my hair, trying to tame it.

  “That was so exciting!” I squeal.

  “You say that every time, babe.” He laughs.

  “Each time we go out, it gets better. Can we go again tomorrow after work?”

  “Probably have to wait until next weekend. I have to work a few nights this week. The insurance project we’re working on is almost wrapped up.”

  “That sucks.” I try to hide my disappointment but fail.

  “Come here.” He tugs my wrist toward him. “You’re adorable when you pout.” One hand cups my cheek, forcing me to look at him. “Next weekend, we’ll go away. As soon as you get off on Saturday, we’ll ride until we feel like stopping.”

  “I’d really like that,” I say truthfully, wanting to spend some time away and alone with Robbie. Not that we don’t sleep together every night, but the last three weeks since my birthday have been hectic.

  The day after my party, Robbie finally found the reporter responsible for the slanderous article about Raven a few months back. He was hiding out. As the drama unfolded, we found out it was actually two employees of Sayge’s record label that leaked the false information. They were fired immediately, and action was taken. Then Raven and the band left for the summer tour.

  Then James put Robbie on a large project involving insurance fraud that has him working long hours. The shop has been busier than ever after word leaked that we did provide the formalwear for Raven’s wedding. Even though it was three months ago, the increase in business started after her reception in Nashville.

  On top of all that, Jenna and Evelyn, have kept me busy with requests for sketches.

  In the last five months, my life has changed so dramatically that I sometimes wonder if I’m dreaming. Robbie’s opened my eyes and my heart to complete happiness. If someone ever told me that I would be this in love with a man who treats me like the most precious thing in his world, I would have laughed.

  True to his word, he’s taken care of me. I’ve come to depend on his bossy ways and overprotective acts. I’m hardly ever alone in the store anymore, even during the day. Somehow, if my dad or Cruz isn’t with me, one of his friends just happens to ‘pop in’. Last week, when I had to close late,
Jimi and Abbi showed up to discuss their wedding attire. Long after they decided on their tuxes, they hung around until my last appointment left, and then Jimi walked me to my car. When I mentioned to Robbie it was ridiculous, he shrugged and ignored my protests.

  My dad may have been shocked at the depth of our relationship, but he’s grown to respect Robbie in the short amount of time he’s been home. He explained to me that he could see how much I cared for him when we visited him in prison, but he didn’t understand the level of devotion. But watching us together over the last three weeks confirmed my love for this man.

  “Ember?” Robbie’s deep voice brings me out of my head as his hands slide up my neck, gripping my scalp. “What’re you thinking about?”

  “Replaying the last few months in my head. Thinking about how happy I am.”

  “That’s the goal, babe.”

  “What about you?”

  “Am I happy? Is that what you’re asking? Because if so, I can tell you that happy isn’t even in the same category as the way I feel. My nightmares are gone, my guilt is fading, and I wake up to your beautiful face every day. Those are things that I thought were impossible. But, you, you make everything possible. If you think I’m ever letting that go, you need to think again, because you’re mine.”

  He pulls me to him and brushes his lips across mine softly. “I fucking love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “You wanna pack a bag and follow me to my place, or we staying here tonight?”

  “Your place. But I need to do something first.”

  “What?”

  “I saw a shirt online I want to order right now so it’s here for our trip next weekend.”

  “What kind of shirt?”

  I giggle and feel the blush creep into my cheeks. “It says ‘Biker Bitch’ on the front. I think it’s cool.”

  “Don’t know about ‘biker’ but ‘bitch’ sounds appropriate.” The voice behind me sends a chill down my spine and forces my heart down into the pit of my stomach.

  Robbie’s arms circle my waist, and he pulls me against his bike forcefully. My knees wobble as I try to find my voice.

  Natalie is standing less than five feet from me, glaring.

  “Who the fuck are you?” Robbie bellows, and the chaos begins.

  Cars speed into the parking lot, and Cruz jumps out of his vehicle, followed by my dad, Alex, and Aunt Chloe. Everyone’s faces are masked with distress.

  When they reach us, Robbie has positioned me behind him and his body is solid in defense. I grip his hand tightly as my family surrounds us.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, Natalie?” Cruz screams. “Get the hell out of our life.”

  “Still have your gay bodyguard, I see. Figures you can’t even speak for yourself.” Her words are filled with venom. “I came to get money.”

  “Natalie, you deal with me and leave your sister alone.” Dad’s voice is so low it’s frightening.

  She finally turns her head to him, breaking our stare. “Daddy dearest, always sticking up for her. Fucking golden child… can’t fight her own battles. Looks like some things never change.”

  My heart beats wildly in my chest, seeing her for the first time in so long. She’s aged beyond her twenty-six years and looks awful. Her hair is stringy and knotted, her body visibly bruised. The clothes she’s wearing look dirty and ragged. When she looks back to see me, her eyes grow wide with hate.

  “Don’t fucking look at me, you bitch—”

  “Shut your fucking mouth!” Robbie shouts, and her eyes grow wide in fear. “Your trashy ass has three seconds to walk away.”

  “Or what, big boy? You gonna hit me? Make me leave? Ask Dad how well that worked out for him last time he fucking protected his precious Ember. Hate to see another man go to jail.”

  “Oh, I won’t be going to jail. Promise you that, but make no mistake, you’ll regret the day you fucked with her again. I’ve got resources, woman, and they go deep. And know this, I don’t play games.”

  She looks between all of us, and then the unthinkable happens. She starts laughing- loud, uncontrolled, and wicked laughter. We stare in shock until she slows down and looks at Robbie with a hollow glare. “You don’t scare me. This is between me and my slut of a sister.”

  Robbie’s body starts shaking, and I finally find my voice. “What do you want, Natalie?”

  “Told you. I’m here for money.”

  “I don’t have money.”

  “Ember—” Robbie’s voice vibrates with anger.

  “Yeah, you do.”

  “Why the hell do you think I’d give anything to you?”

  “You think you’re so high and mighty, playing the victim card. But you deserve everything you got.”

  “Natalie, you need to leave,” Aunt Chloe pipes in.

  “Are you all stupid? Ember’s not fucking made of glass. She’s a whore. Don’t you know what she did?”

  Another car flies into the parking lot, and my heart beats wildly as my mom gets out, looking at the scene in front of her. When our eyes meet, she looks at me sadly and goes straight for Natalie.

  “We need to go now,” she says, pulling Natalie away.

  “No! I’m not leaving here without money!”

  “Natalie, honey, we need to get out of here.” Mom looks around, her eyes landing on Robbie.

  “What the fuck, Mom? We have a plan.”

  “No, things have changed. We. Need To. Go!”

  Natalie doesn’t listen to the desperation in my mom’s voice, but instead focuses her hatred back to me. “You think you’re the shit, don’t you? Did you tell your boyfriend what you did? How you whored yourself out?”

  “I didn’t whore myself out!” I scream.

  “Yeah, you did. You just didn’t know it. Mom’s the one who made the arrangements. Brad wanted one weekend with you. Easy target since you were disgustingly naive.”

  And there it is. My past collides with my present. I barely hear the growls from every man in the area as my ears ring in disbelief. My mom? She orchestrated the most humiliating thing in my life? I try to push the thought out of my mind.

  “I know you hate me, but please tell me she’s wrong.” There’s a flash of regret before she looks away.

  “Oh my God!” I move back to run but knock into the motorcycle, causing it to crash loudly to the pavement. My body scrambles over it as Robbie reaches for me.

  “He didn’t give a shit about you,” Natalie screams as my mom continues to try to pull her away.

  The shock registers on everyone’s faces and shows what I hoped to never see in my life. Pity and disgust.

  I sob, trying to get to my feet. Robbie’s arms engulf me as he yells at my mom and my sister. Aunt Chloe is trying her hardest to hold Cruz and my dad back as a police cruiser flies into the parking lot, trapping in my mom’s car. I see it all through a haze as shame and horror sink in.

  Nothing registers as I’m lifted and carried into the house. My body goes into shut down mode, reliving the memories and knowing I’m trash. This shouldn’t surprise me, because they hated me so much, but when Mom asked me to talk to Brad, she convinced me I could help. Natalie wanted to get clean, and if I could convince him, then he’d leave her alone.

  Robbie’s growling into his phone, and I realize he’s still holding me but talking to his dad. Words like ‘restraining order’ and ‘murder’ spill out of his mouth. I clamber out of his arms and run for the stairs before he can stop me.

  His face is full of disgust as I shut my bathroom door and lock it. The sound of shouting comes from downstairs, but I turn the shower on and strip, climbing in.

  It’s hot, so hot I want to scream, but the need to be clean overpowers my senses. Finally, when I’ve scrubbed myself raw, I sink to my knees. The sense of security and happiness I felt thirty minutes ago diminishes, and I realize I’m a dirty fucking slut. Shame, regret, and humiliation wash over me as I cry into my hands. How can Robbie ever look at me the same way aga
in?

  My lungs burn, begging for air. The pounding on the door gets louder and louder, then stops, finally leaving me to my misery. The sound of splintering wood startles me, and then the shower curtain is ripped back. I try to scream, but my voice catches in my throat as Robbie turns off the water and climbs in behind me, holding my shaking body to his.

  “Don’t shut down on me. I’m not going to let you.”

  “D-d-d-didn’t you hear that? I’m a slut.”

  “No. What I heard was a pathetic excuse for a mother and sister trying to bring you down. They are the worst form of bitches, babe. And they’re gone. We need you to come down and talk to us. Tell us you’re all right.”

  “I’m not, Robbie! I’m mortified. The most important thing in the world to you is family, and you just saw how mine is. And now everyone knows I lost my virginity to a guy as payback for my sister’s drug habit.”

  He growls and tightens around my body. “Family is important, but you’re my family, too. We work through this together. You aren’t alone, babe. No way are you going back into your shell. We’re going to get through this. Together. If I didn’t have an oath not to hit women, I’d lay your sister out. You’re stronger than this, Ember. Let me help you.”

  “Aren’t you disgusted?”

  “I’m pretty disgusted, but not for the reasons you think. You’re precious and incredible. To know what you went through has always hurt me, but this afternoon, I wanted to fucking kill.”

  I roll into his arms. “I’m not a dirty whore to you?”

  “Never. If anything, you are the brightest diamond cut from the stone. Jesus, I didn’t think it was possible to love you more.”

  I cling to him and wrap my arms around his neck, soaking him even more with my wet body. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Never apologize to me, babe. I’m sorry no one was around to take care of you. As much as I want to take you to bed and curl you in my arms, we have a very upset group we need to get to downstairs.”

  I nod and allow him to pull us out. Toweling me off gently, his eyes meet mine with tenderness. I force myself not to cry again because the worst is yet to come.