Enraged: Iron Vex MC Book 1

by Knox, Elizabeth

  She draws her brows together and gives me a once over. “Not once since I’ve known you have you ever done that.”

  “Done what?” I question.

  She laughs. “You know what. Gettin’ all territorial and shit. I saw the way you looked like you wanted to strangle me. It crossed your face for a split second, but I saw it.”

  “That’s ridiculous. I did not.” I turn and head to my room, putting my hand on the door when Nikki says something that shakes me to my core.

  “You have the hots for him and you don’t wanna admit it.”

  I stare at the wooden door for a minute, breathing in and out slowly before I face her. Nikki has a smug look, showing me she thinks she’s right. “There’s no shame in admitting it, Gold. If you do, awesome. But things will probably get easier when you admit it to yourself. So, what do you want me to do?”

  “He told me I’m his personal clubwhore. I can’t fuck anyone else, that I belong to him,” I state, trying to change the subject without having to admit anything I don’t want to.

  Nikki puts her arms in front of her chest, crossing them. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  I don’t know what I like about him. He’s a complete asshole, does whatever he wants, whenever he feels like it. He’s rude, except in the few moments where I see a flash of something decent in his eyes. I oddly think he’s compassionate, especially since helping Faith and Iris with their situation. Although, I know Rage has horrible inner demons and more skeletons in his closet than some of the worst serial killers. Yet, it doesn’t deter me from him.

  “I don’t want to answer your question, Nik,” I call her by her nickname, showing her how uncomfortable she’s making me. I don’t like being pushed into a corner, and I really don’t like being forced to answer a question that I might not even fully have the answer to.

  Nikki cocks a brow, pursing her lips. “Your response is answer enough, hun. I’m sure you don’t see it, but you like him.”

  I shut my eyes for a moment, not wanting to get attached to another man. It never works out well for me and usually ends up with me crying in a bathroom, staring at a bottle of Xanax, wondering if I took twelve what it would do to me. I hate feeling that helpless, that reliant on someone in my life. Especially to know they could just get up and walk out of my life.

  It’s a cycle though. Falling in love with a man who seems to be Mr. Right when in reality, he’s Mr. Oh-So-Wrong. The last serious relationship I had was with Darrin. It was a few years ago and I haven’t given my heart to anyone since him. He fucked me really good in the head. Was a master at making me feel like I wasn’t living unless I was with him or doing something with him. He did a great job at building up our life together and boy, did he pull the sheet out from under me really quick.

  Our relationship didn’t end like one normally would. It was shitty as fuck, over the phone. He said he was leaving me after I found our apartment rid of all his clothes. I confronted him and he blocked my number, cutting me out of his life like I never existed. How is a woman supposed to recover from something like that?

  “I don’t want to talk about this,” I state clear as day, hoping she gets the message to stop.

  “If you didn’t want me to press you, I can bet you wouldn’t still be standing here, but you are. Which makes me think you want some sort of therapy.”

  “I don’t need a fuckin’ therapist. Have you lost your damn mind?” I bark back at her. Nikki and I have known each other for years. She knows I’m not the type of bitch who talks about her feelings. Instead, I stomp on them before they grow into a blazing fire.

  “Honey, you need somethin’ that’s for damn sure. What you need, I’m not sure, but I’m also not the type of friend who’s going to make the world easier for you. Gold, you know he can do whatever he wants. You’re not a claimed woman. You’re just a whore he’s said he wants to sink his cock into more than the rest of us. I don’t know what you’re thinkin’, hun. This won’t turn into anything and you know it. The last thing I wanna see happen to you is for you to fall in love with a man who doesn’t value you the way he should.”

  “I don’t need love,” I say, not believing a word of it myself. I used to repeat this phrase in the mirror over and over until I finally started to believe it. After Darrin fucked me up, I didn’t want to ever rely on someone the same way I did him.

  “I think that’s the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard out of your mouth. Everyone needs love. It’s how we continue on.”

  I glare at her comment, turn and open the door to my bedroom, slamming it shut. Everyone might need love, but I’m not like everyone else.

  12

  If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.

  ~Unknown

  Rage

  I rode out around the corner to a small dive bar to clear my head. The last couple of days have been a real mind fuck. I don’t have any proof it’s him doing all these things, but I know in my gut. After all, who else could be doing this shit?

  As a kid, I did a damn good job of trying to forget that night ever happened. I didn’t want to see him with his hand wrapped around her neck, holding her up in the air like he was hanging a Christmas ornament. I thought he choked her to death at first. It’s what I wanted to remember, how I wanted to remember the ordeal, but I’ll never forget the way she looked at the closet like she knew I was there.

  I felt a lot of guilt as a kid for not breaking out through those doors and standing up for her. Sure, I was a kid, but I could’ve done something. Maybe if I had, she wouldn’t have died. Maybe if I had . . . I wouldn’t have turned out the way I am. I might’ve been a hell of a lot better person in a different life. Fuck. Guess we’ll never know.

  All I do know is I can’t change the past and the only way I can redeem myself for all the shit I’ve done is by nabbing him. I’m sure I won’t make up for every bad thing I’ve done, but maybe it’ll level everything out a bit more.

  “You want another?” the male bartender asks, looking down at my Jack and Coke. I give him a curt nod, trying to drown all my sorrows in alcohol. Sorrows and regrets that is. I’m not an emotional type of man. Never really have been, but I’m a thinker. I over-analyze the shit out of everything around me. If I can’t find a solution, I stop doin’ it, but if I can, you bet your ass I’ll do what I can to fix it.

  For instance, patching the Demons over into Iron Vex. That derived from a plethora of over-analyzing the shit outta how to save our asses.

  The bartender brings me back a new glass with Jack and Coke. I place my hand around the ice-cold rim and bring it up to my lips, taking a heavy sip.

  “You’re Rage, right?” I look to my left and see a black chick with dreads. She’s wearing some sort of skin-tight white tank top with jeans that were pretty big in the late eighties.

  “Who’re you?” I question, running my gaze over her.

  “I’m Nikki. I’m at the club, the same way Gold is. Kinda shocked to see you in my secret spot.” Alright, so she’s a clubwhore.

  “Ah, shit. Didn’t realize this place was claimed,” I chuckle.

  “It’s alright. I’m a sharer. After all, I am an Iron Vex.”

  I snicker lowly at her innuendo. “Touché.”

  “Hey, Rad. Can I get whatever this guy’s got?” She points down to my Jack and Coke, catching a smile from the bartender.

  “Sure thing, Nikki. One sec,” he responds, and I don’t miss the glares he’s getting from patrons who’ve been waiting for him to get their drink orders. He’s quick to get hers ready, though. If anything, it makes me want to learn more about the girl.

  “So, I’ve heard a million stories about you. You’re kinda notorious,” Nikki says, keeping her eyes trained on mine. I’m kinda getting the feeling she knows more than she lets on.

  “Well, none of them can be any good. That’s for sure.”

  “You’re right about that. Everything I’ve ever heard has branded you as a monster, murderer,
and heretic.”

  I nod, knowing the woman isn’t wrong. “There was a time I was all of those things. No use in hiding it.”

  Her eyebrows draw together and she gives me a once over. “You’re saying you aren’t any of those anymore?”

  “No, I’m not denying it. Hell, it doesn’t matter, whatever I do now to redeem myself, sweetheart. I will always be everything you’ve just called me. Now, what’s your reasoning in coming over? Something tells me you didn’t just show up out of the blue for no reason.” I’ve had a lot of experience with women over the years, and they always want something. I’d rather just cut to the chase in this situation.

  Rad sits her drink on the bar in front of her and she takes a sip, giving me a smile that tells me she’s up to no good. But I watch her expression shift into something else. Something entirely more serious. “I don’t know what to think of you. Calling you an enigma would be inaccurate. Though, I do know you aren’t what you seem, and it makes me nervous for her.”

  “For who?” I inquire, immediately thinking she’s worried about my daughter.

  “Gold. She’s been my friend for years. In all honesty, she’s been fucked up pretty good in the past by men like you. Honestly, if you were twenty years younger, you’d be Darrin. I’m gonna shoot it straight with you right now. I don’t want her to be hurt like that again and you mark me as the type of man who doesn’t care about women’s feelings. I’m trying to figure out what you want from her, basically claiming her as your personal toy at the club but not in any other ways.”

  So, Gold’s friend is pissed I didn’t claim her as my old lady? Fuck, I’ve never done it and I never will. “Listen, I’m not claimin’ her as my ol’ lady. I’ll never do that shit. What I’m not likin’ is how you’re coming up here and demanding shit from me. I don’t owe you any answers.”

  Nikki takes another drink, smirking at the end. “See, I knew you were exactly like him. You’re all the same, just pieces of shit trying to use women for your own personal gain. It pisses me off, dude. Fuck. The girl likes you, and I love Gold. I love her so fucking much. She’s like a sister to me. What I don’t want to happen is for you to fuck with her head, Rage. You got me?”

  “How would I be fucking with her head?” I’m pretty damn curious.

  “Jesus. You men are imbeciles who don’t understand jack shit. Let me spell it out for you, asshole. Gold likes you. You know, in the schoolgirl crush kinda way. Don’t ask me why, ‘cause I don’t find you that interesting. You’d be fine for a quick fuck but nothing more than that. So, lemme ask you again. What do you want from her?”

  I blink a couple of times in a moment of silence, truly thinking about what Nikki has just asked me. “I want companionship. I don’t want anything difficult. I don’t want an ol’ lady, but I don’t wanna be alone. I’m older, kid. You never know when I’m gonna croak or what the hell will happen to me. I’m not lookin’ to stir up trouble. Trust me, I’ve done enough of it through the years.”

  Nikki’s eyes scan over my face. “Something is wrong with you.”

  I pick up my drink and take a sip myself, smirking like the girl doesn’t know a damn thing. “It’s adorable you think that. If there was, the entire club would know by now.” I laugh at the end, hoping to sell my lie but note the way she thinks there might be something she doesn’t know.

  Nikki can think what she wants, but if she doesn’t have any proof, it won’t do her any good. I refuse to give her any leeway. She can think what she wants, but thinkin’ won’t confirm anything.

  13

  Childhood is when you idolize Batman. Adulthood is when you realize the Joker makes more sense.

  ~Freaks Community

  Rage

  “Are you ready to head out?” Tala asks, sounding a little worse for wear. I look over from the couch to her standing in the doorway. She’s wearing one of those ‘fashionable’ torn off the shoulder t-shirts that really only make her look homeless. Way too tight black jeans cover her legs with high heeled biker boots.

  Nodding, I give her my answer. “I sure am. Are you?” I rise from the couch after already getting ready for the trip earlier this morning. I packed a small duffel that I can fit into one of my saddlebags on my bike.

  Tala looks down to the bag, “Is that all you’re bringing?”

  “Yeah, figured Gold would need the other saddlebag.”

  Tala cocks a brow. “Who said we were bringing any clubwhores? I told you who was coming, which is you, me, Abyss, Devi, and Chuckles. Why does Gold need to come anyway?”

  “She doesn’t need to come, but I like her around, so I’m bringin’ her,” I clearly state. I’m not in the mood for arguing. She might try and start a fight with me right now but I hope she doesn’t. Tala might not realize it, but she needs me to go to Canada with her. If I don’t go, they won’t show her nearly as much respect as they should. She could tell me not to go with her, but I’d just end up getting there before her ass would and show up anyway.

  “I really don’t see why Gold needs to come. This is strictly business. More importantly, Gold doesn’t belong to you. She’s part of my club.”

  I straighten my jacket out a little and chuckle lowly. “I’m very well aware of that, sweetheart. Do you ever know me to do something without thoroughly thinking it through? Toronto and Calgary aren’t used to the . . . risqué ways of the Iron Vex MC. I hoped by bringing Gold she could talk to them and let them know how things operate here in case they choose to adopt the whole swinging thing.”

  Tala gives me a look that tells me she knows I’m bullshitting her, but gives in. “Fine. Bring her. I don’t fucking care. But we leave in ten minutes and I’m not waiting for a second longer if she’s unprepared,” she huffs out, walking out of my sights.

  I pick up my duffel bag, walk into the hallway, and head for the second floor, walking up the stairs and in the direction of Gold’s room. It’s relatively early, so I’m sure she’s still up here and not downstairs in the bar area yet. After all, I haven’t seen her drink anything that early yet.

  I tap my knuckles on her door lightly after hearing some shuffling coming from her room. “Who is it? I’m still getting dressed!” she grumbles out.

  I take this as an opportunity to open the door, walk inside, and shut it behind me. My eyes fall right on Gold’s and I see she’s irritated. “I should’ve known it was you. God, don’t you let anyone know when you’re coming around?”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t know I had to call ahead just to talk to you.”

  She scans her eyes over me, pursing her lips out like a sassy little shit. “Doesn’t look like you wanna talk considering you have a duffel bag in your hand.”

  “Yeah, I’m going to Canada and so are you. You should probably pack a quick bag, but nothin’ bigger than this.” I point to the bag in my right hand.

  She looks confused for a second. “Boss didn’t tell me I had to go on the trip with you. She specifically told me I was staying here, helping everyone hold down the fort. I have responsibilities here, Rage. I can’t just get up and do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it.”

  “I got it cleared with her,” I say, continuing. “Hell, you don’t think I’d go against my own daughter. Do you?”

  She snickers, continuing to get dressed. I watch as she puts on a bra and a tight shirt. She already had a pair of black legging kinda things. A few moments of silence pass us by as she goes over to the corner of her room and grabs a duffel bag, opens her dresser drawers and throws a few things in.

  “Fine. Guess I’m going.” She walks past me and goes into the hallway, down the stairs, and I assume to the garage bay.

  For some reason, I thought getting her to agree would be a hell of a lot more difficult. Since this went so easy, I’m sure she’ll give me attitude later on.

  14

  “I don’t know how many years on this earth I’ve got left, but I’m gonna get real weird with it.”

  ~Frank Reynolds

  Rage
<
br />   It’s been far too long since I’ve taken a ride up to Canada. My ass, back, and legs are practically screaming for relief as we make our last stop a few miles away from the clubhouse to fill up on gas and stretch our legs a bit. It’s a little colder than normal, even with it being early March. If you ask me, I’m ready to bundle up in another coat. Though to the locals around here, this is practically mid-summer. They’re born and bred for the worst of conditions.

  I put my kickstand up as I position myself at the pump, allowing Gold to get off first. Turning back, I hear a chattering sound and witness her teeth clanking together like she’s at the very top of Mt. Fiji. “I told you to bring a jacket, girl,” I grumble, unzipping my hoodie and pulling my sleeves from my cut. It still blows my mind Tala even gave me a cut or wanted me in her club. I do need to help show my old men how things are going to be now, and this includes me being an example for them.

  I start to hand Gold my jacket but decide to put it on her myself, ensuring she’s warmer and a bit more comfortable. I dig into my pocket and pull out some Canadian cash I’ve had on me since my last visit. “Go get us a couple of coffees. Before we head out, we’ll drink ‘em and get a little warmed up.”

  I can tell Tala overhears my conversation because she turns her head to the side from the pump in front of me and gives me a suspicious smile. Gold takes the cash from my hand and heads over to the station to grab our coffee.

  “What’re you smilin’ at, kid?” I ask Tala, glancing over to her for a moment while I fill up my tank.

  “Oh, nothin’. Just didn’t realize you actually have a thing for her. It’s weird.”

  “What’s weird?” I ask.

  “Just the fact you’re treating a woman with kindness. I’m so used to you being a dick. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that.”