Forgotten Sins sb-1

by Rebecca Zanetti

  “Two months.” She sighed as hurt slammed into her abdomen. “Then you just left.”

  “Without a word?” His gaze narrowed.

  She shrugged. “Why are you in Washington?”

  “I asked you a question.” Quick as that, his voice turned hard.

  The tone was new. Her body stilled, while her mind spun. Intrigue kept her gaze fixed on him. So many times she’d tried to push him and make him lose control. Make him stop treating her like glass. Should she try now? “I heard your question.”

  “I need you to answer it. To help me.” His inflection remained the same, but an odd vulnerability darkened his eyes. “I have to know what happened.”

  For the briefest of seconds, and for the very first time, she saw the boy he might’ve been before turning into a soldier. Her heart warmed while her shoulders relaxed. No way could she turn away from the plea. “You kissed me good-bye in the morning, said you loved me, and that you’d be back.” After the most passionate night of their marriage, one she wasn’t ready to remind him about yet. “You didn’t come back.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know.” Even now, the words hurt. How many times had she lain awake at night, alone, asking herself that very question? Why hadn’t he returned? Had he even thought about her? She’d relived their last week together in her head repeatedly. “The last week—it was bad.”

  He stiffened. “Bad? How?”

  She exhaled. “You were off. Really sad. A week before you left, you found out one of your brothers had died. Your brother, Jory.”

  “Jory.” Shane frowned, rubbing his chest. “How did he die?”

  “I don’t know.” Anger returned in a flash. “Until that week, I didn’t even know you had brothers.” She struggled to stay seated and not jump away from him. He’d had a whole life, a family, he hadn’t shared with her. “Why do you think you’re here now after two years?”

  “You said you sent the divorce papers to my base. I assume I got them and came up to discuss the issue.” His shoulders straightened at the last.

  Was he going to fight her on the divorce? Dread pooled in her stomach. “Then where are the papers?”

  “I don’t know.” He took a deep drink of soda. “You’re a great cook, Josie.”

  Pleasure bloomed inside her chest. She’d learned to cook during college… hoping to have a family to nurture someday like the moms on television did. Sadness shoved the pleasure away. It hadn’t happened. “Thanks.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Are you a chef?”

  “No.” Memories flooded in. She’d almost taken the risk and changed her accounting major to cooking during her second year at Cal State. But she hadn’t had the courage. Plus, she could control numbers. Organization and hard work counted. She’d never need to rely on one person or an entire system again. “I’m an accountant.”

  Surprise lifted his eyebrows. “That explains the sexy suit.”

  Sexy? Not even close. She kicked off the high heels, rubbing her feet on the smooth tiled floor. She’d paid for the tiles with her second paycheck from her new job at the accounting firm’s local branch. It had taken an entire weekend of searching for just the right color, a homey beige. “Accounting is safe.”

  “Ah.” Understanding echoed in his low tone. “Safety is important to you. Interesting.” He rubbed his chin. “Something tells me I’m not so safe.”

  “No.” She smiled, even as sadness made her chest ache. “You were the only risk I ever took. It backfired.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  He studied her, no expression on his hard face. “Okay. You said I have brothers. Plural. Besides Jory, what do you know?”

  “Nothing about your brothers.” She didn’t want to have this conversation. She’d failed as a wife, or she’d know more about him. “But you do have nightmares. At least you used to.”

  He stilled. “What about?”

  Anger flashed through her. “I don’t know. You wouldn’t tell me.” She tossed her napkin atop her plate of half-eaten food. “Even before you woke up one night screaming Jory’s name, bad dreams made you a very restless sleeper.” She lowered her gaze to her fingers picking at pumpkins on the napkin. “That night, you sounded so broken. I’d never heard you sound like that.” A chill skittered across her shoulders. She’d wanted so badly to shield him, to help him. He wouldn’t let her.

  “I’m sorry.” The hoarseness of his voice wrapped around her heart. “You shouldn’t have to deal with something like that.”

  She coughed out irritation. “You should be sorry. Not for exposing me but for shutting me out.” For one second, when he’d almost kissed her senseless, she’d thought he’d changed. That he could see the real her. The woman who could be his match.

  He pushed back from the table. “You’re beautiful, Josie. Soft and delicate. You should be protected.”

  Ah. There was the rub. She shook her head. “You don’t know me, Shane. You never did.”

  Chapter 4

  Josie crossed her legs, fighting the urge to grind a palm into her eyes. She sat on her bed, a myriad of ledgers spread out before her. After dinner, she’d left Shane to head into the guest shower, saying she had work to do before changing into comfortable sweats, her hair in a ponytail.

  But the numbers in the accounts before her weren’t adding up. There were problems in several of the accounts she’d taken over a few months ago. Either she’d made a mistake, or the accountant she’d taken over for had screwed up. Not that it was a huge surprise, considering Billy had had to leave for a drug rehabilitation center.

  She flipped back open the main manila file for Hall’s Funeral Home. The numbers swam before her eyes. She blinked several times, allowing them to right themselves.

  Wait a minute.

  Scrambling for the accounts payable ledger, she quickly scanned the items. Triumph had her nearly laughing out loud. Of course. Billy had counted the sales of several plots to one family as a lump sum, and not as monthly income. The sale was spread over several months, and the money wouldn’t be paid until the fifteenth of each month. But Billy had counted the money before getting paid.

  Thank goodness. The problem was an easy fix. Josie took a deep, relaxing breath. Maybe all four troubled accounts had similar mistakes. Drugs had apparently really messed with Billy’s brain. Though to be safe, she should double-check all his files, even the ones that seemed all right, especially since competition at the firm was crazy at the moment. She glanced at the other files perched on the bed.

  Maybe she should just go to bed and forget about work. It was only a little after eight, but exhaustion made her head feel heavy. She eyed her knitting basket in the corner. Knitting. Precise, logical, and yet somehow creative. Mrs. Lilly, one of her favorite foster mothers, had taught her when she was eleven. Before Mrs. Lilly got too sick to take care of lost kids. More recently, her old hobby had allowed Josie to make friends in a strange city and show a side of herself she often hid.

  With a smile, Josie noted a striped hat perched on the dresser she’d recently knitted for her secretary. Sassy, bright, and bold, the woman would love the pattern. It was so different than Josie’s first disastrous attempts on her own. Now she could picture the final result in her mind while buying yarn at the specialty store on the other side of town. The owner knew her there… and while shopping, Josie became part of something. A community of people who created.

  Times were tough. People knitted to make money, to keep their families warm. While women with adorable kids searched the cozy aisles, Josie could almost pretend she had a family, too. That she had a skill to pass down and share with somebody else.

  A somebody with Shane’s eyes and her nose.

  Even if she stayed alone for life, she could create. Something of her would remain… so long as the yarn held true.

  Shane had loved her knitting. Something old-fashioned and feminine about the process. A part of her wanted to
go back to the living room. To be near him. But they really didn’t have anything to talk about except the need for him to sign the divorce papers. What if he wouldn’t sign?

  What if he would?

  The phone rang, jarring her from thoughts of Shane. She grabbed the handset. “Hello?”

  “Mrs. Dean, it’s Detective Malloy.” Rustling papers and ringing phones sounded across the line, surrounding the detective’s voice in noise.

  “Hi, Detective.” A shadow crossed her doorway. She glared at Shane. He more than filled the entrance, his large bulk contrasting with the feminine tones of her room. Wet hair curled at his nape.

  The detective cleared his throat. “We’ve had some developments in your husband’s case, Mrs. Dean.”

  Unease straightened her posture. “Developments?”

  “Yes. I know it’s almost eight at night, but I’d like for you and your husband to meet me at the station in thirty minutes.” The detective hung up.

  Josie pulled the handset from her head, turning to stare at it. Developments? Malloy needed a book on proper phone etiquette. She hung up the phone and turned toward the doorway.

  “Angel?” Shane leaned against the door frame in faded jeans and ripped T-shirt, the casual stance belied by the sharp gaze in his too-pale face. His head was probably killing him. His scent of heated cedar wafted her way, suffusing a maleness into her comfort zone.

  “Detective Malloy would like to speak with us.” Her hands clutched the thick comforter with its pattern of homey tulips. She’d purchased the cover from a catalog, waiting impatiently until it arrived before choosing the whimsical table lamps that matched. She normally counted her pennies, but she’d splurged on creating her home.

  The king-sized bed had been another indulgence.

  Memories of heated nights and fun mornings spent grappling in another bed with Shane filled her mind. He was a big guy and needed a king-sized bed. She fought a blush.

  Shane lifted an eyebrow, leaning against the wall she’d painted a soft beige. A shadow lined his sharp jawline, giving him the look of a rebel. “Why does the detective want to speak with us?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know.” Blood stained Shane’s ripped shirt, a testament to the violence that stalked him. “Give me a second while I change, and we can go see what this is about.”

  His eyes warmed. “Need help?”

  Her abdomen heated. “No.”

  His shrug made him wince. “Suit yourself.”

  “Are you okay?” The unwanted concern reminded her of emotions she thought she’d destroyed.

  “Fine. Just a headache.” He pivoted on his bare feet and disappeared from view.

  Yeah, there was the Shane she remembered. Blocking her out on the pretext of protecting her delicate nature. Dumbass.

  It was time to move on and unravel the hold he had on her. The emotions Shane evoked were raw, dangerous, and so deep. She’d never completely expel him from inside her heart.

  He was a soldier and he’d staked his claim.

  The sooner he left, the sooner she could return to pretending she’d moved on. Maybe someday she actually would. Her feet hit the cold wooden floor. She’d been searching for a rug for the bedroom for more than a year—someday she’d find the perfect one.

  She dressed in comfortable jeans and a blue sweater that brought out the varied hues in her eyes. Not that she was dressing to impress Shane. She just liked that sweater.

  Indecision had her biting her lip until, with a shrug, she grabbed a faded men’s T-shirt out of the bottom dresser drawer. On cold nights, or lonely nights, she often slept in one of Shane’s old shirts. He couldn’t very well go to the police station in the ripped one.

  She found him at the kitchen table, eating the rest of the cold lasagna. “You’re hungry again?”

  He finished chewing. “I like your cooking.”

  The T-shirt landed on the table with a quick toss. “I have one of your old shirts. It’s clean.”

  He wiped his mouth with a napkin, his gaze on the shirt. “Am I supposed to read something into this?” Deep and dark, his voice lowered to a rumble that sped up her heart.

  “No.” Only that she hadn’t gotten over him yet. No matter how hard she tried to lie to herself. “Some of your clothes must’ve been mixed up with mine when I moved.” Nothing would make her admit she also kept a shirt of his she refused to wash, hidden in the back of her closet. Even after two years, his unique male scent still clung to the worn cotton.

  “All right.” He whipped off the bloodied shirt and pulled on the clean one. “Thanks.”

  “Sure.” One glimpse at his impressive chest and she wanted to lick him head-to-toe. Man, she needed to get herself under control. She grabbed a jacket from the small closet near the door. The emotional walls between them were suffocating her, and she needed to get outside. “We should get going.”

  Shane nodded, unfolded himself from the kitchen chair, and opened the door slowly and deliberately. “Okay.”

  Concern stilled her movement. “Are you all right?”

  “Yep. Just a headache. I’ll drive.”

  Josie thought about arguing. But why bother? He’d end up driving, and frankly, driving at night wasn’t her favorite activity. She’d liked that about Shane during their brief marriage. Driving was a pleasure for him, and she could just sit back and relax during the ride. “Whatever.”

  She waited until he’d backed them out of the driveway before giving him directions. They drove in silence until he reached town. Josie picked distractedly at a fray on her jeans. “Any memories come back?” Only stubborn will kept her gaze off the capable hands on the steering wheel. She’d loved those hands.

  “No.” Shane glanced again at the rearview mirror.

  Josie turned to look at the cars behind them. “What are you searching for?”

  “The van that followed us earlier today.”

  Maybe his concussion was worse than they thought. “I think your imagination took over. You do have a head injury.”

  “Perhaps.” He checked behind them again. Frustration and doubt slid across his face, to be masked by a pleasant smile. One that didn’t fool her a bit. “Regardless, I don’t sense any danger now.”

  Yep. He still kept secrets now, didn’t he? Josie turned her focus to the night outside the car.

  Shane exited the freeway, drove for a mile, and parked the SUV in front of the three-story brick building. Bright lights surrounded the station, banishing the night. Jumping out, he crossed to open her door before she grabbed the handle. Strong hands helped her out of the vehicle, where the autumn breeze cut into her skin.

  “Ah, Josie? How about letting me do the talking with the detective?” The door shut with a soft click, and Shane gestured her forward.

  “Why?” She was perfectly capable of answering questions from the police. Not only had she done nothing wrong, but she’d grown up in foster care. Dealing with authority and its agenda was nothing new for her.

  Shane opened the door. “I have a feeling Malloy is after something. I don’t like that he didn’t tell you any details about his new developments.”

  She was surrounded by manipulative people keeping hidden agendas, and that included Shane. Even if the amnesia was real, he wasn’t exactly forthcoming with the truth.

  The waiting room of the police station held two leather couches, a myriad of live plants, and several wide orange chairs. Homey and comfortable. A slice of small town in a city that had grown unexpectedly. A forty-something woman with riotous red hair sat behind a broad counter walled off by thick glass, humming contentedly through the night shift. Behind her spread a wall of photos depicting police officers at various award ceremonies. She smiled and spoke through the speaker, her voice emerging tinny. “May I help you?”

  Shane stepped forward to answer just as a buzzer rasped and a door opened next to the counter. Malloy held it open with one beefy hand. “Come on in.”

  Josie pivoted to walk into a wide, quiet hall
way. Shane’s broad hand settled at the small of her back, pressing her along. Possessive and protective—completely in charge. She’d forgotten that feeling of being his.

  Several closed doors lined the hall as the three approached a large double door that blocked the hub of the police station from the public. Malloy pushed open a scratched metal door, gesturing them inside a conference room with a thick oak table and leather chairs. Josie slid into the chair Shane pulled out for her, glancing at the pleasant watercolor of a snowy mountain scene adorning the side wall. “Where’s the two-way mirror?” she asked.

  Malloy snorted, walking around the table to sit and drop manila folders on the polished wood. “The interrogation rooms are closer to the cells. This is just a meeting room.”

  Shane sat next to Josie. “Right. Exactly what are we meeting about, Detective?”

  Josie leaned back in her chair and away from the comfort she’d find leaning into Shane.

  Malloy rubbed his chin, studying them with shrewd and tired-looking eyes. He’d discarded the rumpled suit coat and old tie, rolling his shirt up to reveal dark hair along his arms. He focused on Shane. “Have any of your memories returned?”

  “Not yet, but they will.” Shane ignored Josie’s move away and reached out to place one broad arm across her shoulders. “Have you heard from Pendleton?”

  “Not yet, but I will,” the detective parroted Shane’s tone. He eyed Josie. “When you were married, did your husband ever talk about his skill set in the military?”

  The arm around her shoulders stiffened, but Shane’s body remained relaxed and his expression unconcerned. Josie stilled. “No. Shane didn’t talk about his past, about his future, or about his job, Detective. I believe we’ve covered this.” Admitting her marriage was a sham settled like a rock in her stomach. She crossed her legs. “Why do you ask?”

  Malloy glanced at Shane and flipped open a file, taking out three photographs to place on the table. “I ask because we found three dead bodies down by the river a couple hours ago.”

  Josie sucked in air, her gaze glued to the pictures of dead men lying on metal slabs, their bodies covered by flimsy sheets. Just like on television. Shock set off a roaring in her ears. “Who are they?” she croaked out.