If It Ain't About the Money

by Saundra

  As soon as she saw my face, the solemn look on hers evaporated. “Hey, sweetie.” She looked as though she had been relieved of some sort of gruesome pain. “It’s been a minute since you been out to see me. I missed you so much, Isis.” I could hear the cry in her voice, full of evidence of the love that she carried for me. Still I fought not to soften.

  Like a pro I bottled my emotions and remained my usual Isis. I didn’t even give her a hello. I jumped right in. “Why did you have to send word to me to come down here? And by Karen of all people.” I said her name as if a pile of shit was connected to it. I didn’t have anything personal against Karen; I was simply annoyed by Felicia’s actions. “If you need to reach me, you know how. You know where I am. The same way you know I will eventually come to see you. I don’t need to be summoned like some child,” I reminded her like I was the parent and she was the child.

  The calm look on her face confirmed that, as always, she was choosing her words carefully so as not to upset me. I think she worried that if she pissed me off I might get up, walk away, and not return. “So what have you been up to?” She chose to change the conversation.

  “I’ve been busy with this or that.” I kept it simple. There was really nothing else I could fill that question with. But I wanted to keep my lies at a minimum, because then I would have to remember what I said.

  “Well, you look good.” She smiled at me. “So how is school going for you?” I swear she wanted to piss me off on purpose. Not once had I told her I had signed up for school; that was just her way of getting that conversation started, when she knew that was the last thing I wanted to discuss.

  “I’m not in school, but you know that already . . . So why do you keep bringing this up at every visit? It’s just not the time.” I sighed with annoyance. The look of disappointment hid behind the shadows. She tried her best to hide, but it was too late. I had seen it. “Listen, like I’ve said several times before, I am happy being what life has allowed for me to be.”

  “And there is nothin’ wrong with that. I just want to be sure you’re happy and secure. That is all.” It felt good to hear her say she just wanted me to be happy. I hoped that was the truth, because at this time I had no real idea what I would do next.

  “Good, so let’s drop the school talk . . . I have to get going, though. I got plans for later.” That was the best way to sum up what I really had in store. How could I say I was headed back home where I would be catching a flight so that I could participate in the messy scheme of robbery? Exactly, I could not. So a simple goodbye would have to do.

  Chapter 22

  Secret

  Ever since talking with Isis about a month ago about the condo she had visited, it really got me to thinking. With the money I was making I could more than afford a condo. I was already on the come-up so why not take it to the next level. But then Isis suggested that we just find a condo together and lease for a year, then get our own. I wasn’t ready for her to move out yet, so I quickly agreed. After a careful search of a host of condos in the Miami area, Isis and I narrowed it down to a downtown location that was just absolutely beautiful. A 1,495 square feet, three-bedroom, three-and-half-baths masterpiece. We would have full access to a swimming pool and our sun deck. There were also free yoga classes, a state-of-the-art fitness center, and more in the building.

  Today was the day that we told the manager that we could fill out the application and sign the rental lease. Signing on the dotted line was magical; we couldn’t wait to drop the down payment in the manager’s hands.

  “Let’s go for drinks,” Isis suggested to me after we walked out of the manager’s office.

  “Yeah, this deserves a toast. Besides, she said she’d be calling us within an hour so we may as well stay on this side of town,” I agreed, but wouldn’t be able to wait much longer than that. Finding a close bar and grill, we strolled inside, sat down, and ordered martinis.

  “You think we’re gettin’ in over our heads? That rent ain’t cheap,” Isis asked, sipping on her drink and pointing out the obvious.

  “See, there you go with that shit. Hurry up and drink that liquor down quick. Wait, no, where is the bartender?” She scanned the room like she was looking for the waitress. “Because you need something stronger. I’m ’bout to get you a shot of that brown, yep, that Hennessy,” I chirped.

  Isis chuckled. “I don’t need a damn stronger drink. This is fine.” She raised her drink like we were about to toast.

  “Real talk, though. We gon’ be fine, and you know we can afford that amount easy. What we gon’ be out of forty-five hundred a month. That includes our rent, parking, condo fees, and all. We halve that shit down the middle and it’s nothin’, just like we previously discussed. We make that in a week,” I reminded her.

  She stirred her martini as if she was confirming what I said in her mind. She shook her head in agreement. “You right, we got this, I just want to be sure. Because we also need to focus on saving: that’s equally important. Especially since we plan to get our own crib eventually.”

  “Hell, and I can’t wait to get my own crib to get away from your ass,” I joked.

  “I know, right. A party will be thrown when I buy my first place and become delivered from you. With yo naggin’ ass.” She laughed. “But you know you will miss me.”

  “I guess I might.” I chuckled, then finished off my drink. The waitress walked past, and I signaled her to grab me another martini. This time I asked her to add an extra shot of vodka. The first one was good, but it seemed a little too light for me. “How did the visit go with Felicia?” I asked.

  “Same ol’ visit. She worried about me and school, as if that matters. I told her to dead that conversation. Ain’t no school for me, and it’s time she accept that.”

  “I know, right. I can’t believe she still be on that.”

  “Girl, yes, she does, that’s the one thing she never forget to ask me about on each visit.”

  “I get it, and it sounds good but . . . we gotta get this money. Real quick.”

  “But that’s just it, though, Secret, we got money now. It’s time to try something different, like turn up. And I mean all the way up.”

  “Aye, I can get wit’ that.” I was relieved. I thought she was about to say something like it’s time to get out of the game. And I was not down to hear that shit no time soon.

  “I got an idea. How about we get with Kirk and tell him not to book anything next weekend. ’Cause we about to shut the club down.”

  “Turn up,” I chanted and raised my glass in the air. “But listen, you get right on that.” I looked at the time on my phone and realized we had to get going soon because I had a flight to catch. “I gotta get back to the house, my flight leave soon. I need to grab my whip and my bags. You are gon’ have to finish up with the process after she approves the application on your own.”

  “A’ight. By the time I drop you by the house she should have an answer.”

  “I’m sure,” I assured her, then polished off my drink.

  Thankfully, I landed safely. No sooner than I got to my hotel room, I took a shower and started to get dressed. Isis called to let me know that we had been approved and could move in right away. Excited, I finish getting dressed and headed out to meet up with my date, Kenny, at a bar inside another hotel.

  Right away we hit it off, and I made it my business to keep Kenny tossing back cognac shots. It seemed to take a while for him to get tipsy, but eventually the drinks started to wear him down. Back at his place we both drank some more, but I was careful to only sip as I was trained to do.

  Taking a seat close to me, Kenny started to slightly rub my right thigh. I teased him with a soft kiss on the inner left section of his neck. “Tell you what, you let me use your bathroom, and we can really get this party started,” I whispered seductively in his ear.

  Licking his lips, Kenny gripped my thigh tight and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. “You go ahead and take your time, beautiful.”

  A qui
ck search of the house and I presumed the coast was clear, so I sent the text. Hurrying back to Kenny, I returned to my spot next to him. Wanting to waste time until my relief arrived, I tried to make small talk, but Kenny wasn’t having that. And instead of the alcohol making him sleepy, it made him extra frisky. It felt like his hands were all over me. I was running out of ideas and fast as I waited for it to go down. But nobody showed. Then I finally got a text on my cell phone, but he was so close to me I couldn’t answer. My instincts told me that I needed to look at that text, but I had to play it off.

  “Kenny, can you please get me some ice for my drink? I need a good cold shot.” I kissed him softly on the nose. “The chill from a cold shot usually gets me going.” I did a quick grind in my seat and smiled for good measure.

  “I’ll be right back.” He hurriedly stood up.

  Unlocking my phone, I quickly opened the text. My heart dropped. It read, “Running behind got pulled over.” I almost freaked as I replied, “Hurry the fuck up this guy ready to fuck and right now.” Just as I exited the text and locked my phone, Kenny entered the room. Nervous, I had no idea what I would do.

  Passing me the ice, he watched as I slowly poured it into my drink. I picked the glass up and I drank. Kenny’s eyes never left me. Sitting back down next to me, his hands found both my breasts as he jumped right back in where he had left off. Frustrated and fresh out of ideas, I asked him to slow down. He looked in my eyes briefly, chuckled, and continued fondling me. I tried to remain calm and prayed that he couldn’t feel my heart about to jump out of my chest as his rubbing and feeling became more aggressive by the second. I could no longer take it. “Wait a damn minute,” I yelled, annoyed.

  Suddenly I felt the blow from the center part of his big-ass hand as a slap landed across my face. Blood flew out of my mouth. Shocked, I glanced at him, and anger covered his face. “Bitch, you being a fucking tease,” he accused me. Before I could speak, he attacked me. I tried to fight back as I was met with blows and punches to my body back to back. With each lick I felt myself growing weaker as he tugged at my clothes from all directions. Feeling dazed and realizing that he was about to rape me, I gathered all the strength left inside me and kicked him in the balls. Taking both of my thumbs, I pushed forward and pressed them hard into both his eye sockets. “You fuckin’ half-breed bitch,” he cried out in agony.

  As he struggled with the new pain I inflicted on him, I pushed him off of me and tried to get on my feet. Just as I tried to find balance on one leg, he grabbed the other leg, and I fell back to the floor. Using my free leg, I kicked at him and tried to crawl close to his built-in fireplace. I reached for a statue of a tiger that was resting there. Out of breath and panting really hard, I flipped myself halfway over and somehow hit him in the face with it.

  All I heard was a loud thud, then saw him on the floor next to me. Jumping to my feet, I grabbed my cell phone and clutch purse off the couch and burst out the front door. Not sure which way to go, I raced down the street. I saw lights and realized a car was approaching. The car came to a complete stop. One of the guys called me by name as he got out and helped me inside the car. With no questions asked, they rushed me to the nearest hospital.

  Chapter 23

  Isis

  Tears flooded down my face as I snatched the door open to find Kirk standing there holding on to Secret. I thought I would never see or hug my friend again. Kirk had called around two thirty in the morning and woke me up out of my sleep, saying that he had to fly out to get Secret, because the guy that she was setting up had attacked her. He had tried as best he could to assure me that she was okay. But I wouldn’t believe that until I was able to lay eyes on her. And now here she was, all in one piece, standing in the doorway.

  Kirk had told me that Secret didn’t want me to tell Penny what was going on, to just let her go to school as usual. Since I had taken her out to the airport the day before to pick up Secret’s car, she didn’t need me to take her to school. When she stuck her head in my door as she sometimes did before going to school, I played as if I was extra tired. This way she would just leave. But really, the last thing I wanted her to do was see my face. She would have been able to instantly tell that I had been crying.

  “Are you okay?” I gently wrapped my arms around Secret.

  “I’m fine, really, I’m okay,” she tried to assure me, hugging me back tightly. She had a bruise on the left side of her face. Her skin was too light to hide any kind of bruise. I stared at it in dismay. She looked as if she was turning into a blueberry. The right side of her face appeared to be a bit swollen. She glanced at me again; this time a slight fake smile appeared. “I’m fine,” she repeated.

  “Well, it don’t look like it at all.” I got emotional.

  “I promise you it looks a lot worse than what it really is.”

  “Yo, Kirk, what the fuck happened to her? This shit supposed to be safe. Remember?” I was sarcastic on purpose. I reminded him of his own words that he had used to convince us that this was okay.

  “I know how this looks. But I promise you are safe . . . Shit just went down wrong. Nigga that was driving the car swerved and got pulled over. I got y’all; though the nigga that was drivin’, I already took care of his ass . . .” He looked at Secret’s face then slowly gazed at me. “And the nigga who did that to her already pushin’ up daisies.”

  And we all knew what that meant. Still, I was not satisfied: the danger that had been clear from day one was now even more evident. “Fuck that,” I said, frustrated, pacing and rubbing my forehead. “We both quit,” I spoke up for Secret and myself. In case she didn’t have the sense to do it, I would do it for her. “Kirk, I can’t lie, this shit has been good to us, but our lives come first.” And I meant that. Even I knew that money was no good if you weren’t around to spend it.

  I waited for Kirk to plead with us not to leave, but instead he declared he understood. Spinning in Secret’s direction, he apologized to her. With every sorry that oozed from his lips, I knew they were sincere. Soon after, he left.

  “I knew that shit was not safe.” I marched over to the alarm monitoring system and turned it on. For some reason I didn’t feel safe. Even though this had happened in another city, I was still a bit shaken. “We could have been killed at any moment. Damn!” I yelled. “We should have never gotten involved in this mess.”

  “But I’m okay, Isis,” Secret tried to assure me. I knew better; the pain was colored all over her bruised face. The thought of what she had been through caused knots to twist and turn in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to run to the bathroom and throw up my insides.

  “No, you’re not, Secret. You are just saying that.” I was painfully honest. “And what are we going to tell Penny? Or have you not thought about that? I’m sure this is going to freak her out. We lied to her about what it was we were doing. Now it has come back to bite us in the ass in a major way.”

  “And that’s why I’m going to tell her the truth, or at least get as close to it as I can.”

  “Do you really think that’s a good idea? She’ll be mad we lied to her.”

  “But she’ll get over it.” She wiped a tear off her lip that threatened to enter her mouth. “And you have to stop worrying, because I’m okay. I’m stronger than you realize. Jackie made sure of that long before some nigga came along and decided to punch me.” She gave a slight chuckle but had to hold on to her side because of the pain. “Besides, compared to Jackie that nigga hit like a bitch.” She attempted a joke.

  I tried not to smile but couldn’t help it. Even in the midst of turmoil Secret was cracking a joke. And I loved her for it. But even that couldn’t warm my heart; I was sick with hurt, yet grateful that she was still alive. Grateful that we had another shot to get it right. There had to be something out there for us that didn’t require us to sell our dignity. I just wished I knew what it was and where to find it.

  Chapter 24

  Secret

  Months had slipped by since the incident and I
had tried my best to move on from it, but occasionally I still had nightmares about it. I think what bothered me worst were the punches. It reminded me of Jackie and her abuse. The last time she put her hands on me I vowed that was the last time anyone would lay their hands on me. And there I was, laid flat under some stranger while he pounded his fist into me. I wished with every ounce of me that Kirk had not killed him; that should have been my job. And if anyone else ever tried it again I would kill them, but I had to get on with my life, and I meant to do just that. If I didn’t allow my own mother’s stupid actions to ruin my life, I damn sure wouldn’t let a stranger’s. It was bad enough we had lost out on our condo deal. And I wasn’t about to give up on that completely; it was just not going to happen right now. But it would.

  Kirk had been blowing me up for the past two weeks trying to get me and Isis to meet up with him. Once again he claimed to have a different play for us. Now that I was healed, I was bored and ready to get money again. Money was always on my mind; fuck being depressed, that shit was for the birds. Isis on the other hand was relaxed; the first time I told her Kirk had called, she waved me off. But he had just called again, and I had to try again, because I was not about to give up.

  “Kirk called,” I announced as soon as she sat down on the living couch. She had just come out of the kitchen; she was cooking dinner.

  “What he want?” She tried to play dumb. But she knew exactly what he wanted. What else would Kirk want?

  “This is Kirk we talking about, Isis. What else would he want? So what’s up? It’s been months since we worked. So we could at least hear him out.”