If It Ain't About the Money

by Saundra

  “I said I think Penny is missin’! I don’t know. . . . I don’t?”

  “What do you mean, you think she’s missin’?” I prayed I heard her wrong, but the constant sound of crying told me I had not.

  “She’s missin’, Isis. I don’t know where she is.”

  “Where are you at right now?” I felt like the truck was closing in on me. Rico slowed down. He took a few glances at me while trying to watch traffic.

  “I’m at home waiting on the police.”

  “I’m on my way. Just hang tight . . . I’m on my way,” I repeated, wishing I could reach through the phone and comfort her. “Head to Secret’s house now. Penny is missin’,” I yelled, and I started crying at the same time.

  “I got you, baby, it’s gon’ be okay,” Rico said as he jumped off the E-way to find a shorter route to Secret’s house. He had taken me by there a few weeks ago to pick up some papers Secret had for me, so he knew exactly where to go. My chest pounded, and my stomach churned with fear and uncertainty.

  As we pulled up to Secret’s house, my heart dropped when I saw all the police cars parked in front. I couldn’t believe why they were there. This just could not be happening in real life. Inside, Secret was sitting on the couch trying to speak as best she could. Her whole face looked as if it was swollen from all the crying she was doing.

  “Like I told you, I haven’t seen her since yesterday. When I came home last night she was not here yet. But I didn’t think much about it. I was tired so I fell asleep while watching television. When I got up this morning, she was already gone. I figured she had left for school. I thought it was strange that she didn’t tell me was leaving. But she’s nineteen now; I just figured maybe she didn’t want to wake me. I tried calling her, but her phone went to voice mail. I assumed it was just dead. But when I came home tonight and she wasn’t here, that’s when I called her best friend Erica and found out that she didn’t come to school today.” She bent over like she had been punched in the stomach. Kirk, who was sitting next to her, grabbed her; I rushed over and hugged her tight.

  “It’s going to be okay, Secret. She’s coming home.”

  “And you say she never goes this long without contacting you?” a chubby, red-faced cop asked.

  “Hell, no, I told you we talk at least once during the day. She’s fuckin’ missin’, okay,” Secret shouted. “Just go find my gotdamn sister.” She fell into my arms crying. The two cops who were standing in front of us told us they were going to file the report and would keep us posted. They told us to keep our phone lines clear just in case she called. With that they left, taking the other three cops who had stood by the front door like bodyguards with them. I rolled my eyes at their sorry asses. It had taken five of them to say they were going to file a report. The one and only reason I didn’t snap on them was because I wanted to keep Secret calm.

  “It’s all my fault,” Secret cried out when the cops had exited the condo. “I should have waited up until she came home last night. But I was tired, so I came home, had a few drinks, and dozed off.” Her face was soaked with tears as she shook her head in disappointment.

  “Secret, this not your fault. You had no idea.” I tried to comfort her but felt as though I was weak with no breath left in my lungs.

  “We gon’ find her, I promise you that.” Kirk walked back over to us. He had stepped away while he chatted on the phone. “I want y’all to stay put. I already done put word out on the streets. I’m about to go out looking for her. I’ll let you know.” He looked at Secret, bent down and hugged her. Rushing out the door, he turned and looked at us all one last time, then shut the door behind him.

  “I don’t know if I can just sit here. We should be out looking for her, too,” Secret insisted.

  “No we have to wait here just in case she comes home. We need to stay put like Kirk said.”

  Scaring the shit out of me, Secret suddenly jumped to her feet. “Jackie, why didn’t I think of her? Maybe she’s with Jackie and thinks I’m going to be mad if I find out. She’s been talkin’ about her a lot lately.” Hope appeared in her eyes again.

  “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to check,” I agreed.

  “Let’s go then. Rico, you stay here just in case Penny comes home. If she comes, don’t let her leave.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll keep her here,” Rico tried to reassure her.

  Reaching for my hand, Secret grabbed her keys, and we rushed out the door. We ran at least two red lights and swerved at least four times to avoid hitting someone before finally arriving at the last place Jackie had been known to live. To both our disappointment, the house had a “For Rent” poster out front and no sign of anyone or thing living there. Secret’s entire face dropped. Placing her head on the steering wheel, she cried; unable to control myself, I cried with her. Realizing that I had to keep it together and be there for her, I pulled myself together; it took me twenty minutes to convince her to allow me to drive back to her house, because she simply was in no shape to do it.

  Chapter 35

  Secret

  Two agonizing days had passed, and still there was no word about Penny. I felt as if I might die. The only thing that kept me alive was the possibility that she would come back. I was a mess, though; I was sick with no real medical reasons. My body was exhausted from no sleep or food. I had tried to eat, but there was this huge knot in my throat that refused to move. The only thing I could get past it was liquid, and even that was a struggle. I simply felt nausea all day, at all times. Every time I attempted to close my eyes, Penny was there holding her hand out reaching for me. Her lips would be moving, but no words came out. I reached out for her, but she faded. I felt tormented and enraged all at the same time. So I decided that staying awake was best. Erica had rounded up mounds of friends and some of her family and basically set up a task force to find Penny. They had all had been out for two days pounding the pavement, hanging posters all over Miami. She had even set up a Facebook page, as well as a tip line where people could call in any information they might have. She was truly holding her best friend down. I thanked God for her. Because I wasn’t able to do anything, my mind had folded up and I was sinking.

  Isis and I lay around the living room on my huge sofa, wrapped in our throws, waiting on anything. She had not left my side since she had arrived two days before. In addition to going to Jackie’s last known address, I had put word out to Jackie in the streets, but still had not heard from her. But I was not shocked. If it wasn’t about Jackie or a bottle, she was nowhere to be found. So I decided not to hold my breath about hearing from her.

  The ringing of my cell phone ended my debate with myself on Jackie. “What you hear, Kirk?” I asked right away. I had seen his name on the caller ID.

  “Aye,” he said, and I knew he had something. But he was taking too long, and I was not in the beating-around-the-bush mood.

  “Fuckin’ what is it, Kirk?” I barked into the phone.

  “I don’t want you to get worked up. But I just got this call from a source tellin’ me where I can find Penny.”

  My heart leaped with joy. “Is she okay?” The mention of her being okay woke Isis. She sat up, waiting on information. “Where is she? Who called you?” I questioned as I cried with my mouth half covered.

  “I’ll get back to you on that later; I just wanted you to know that everything is going to be all right.” He ended the call.

  “Wha’d he say?” Isis was on the edge of her seat.

  “He got a call, and he knows where to find her. She’s coming home.” Tears ran down my face. Isis wrapped her arms around me.

  We sat as patiently as possible and stared at my cell phone, waiting to hear from Kirk. Finally an hour and a half later it rang. I answered so fast I almost denied the call. “I found her and she’s alive . . .” He paused. “But I need you to meet me at Jackson Memorial.”

  I felt faint. “The hospital? What’s wrong?” My voice almost faded.

  “Secret, just get down here. We will talk
then.”

  I was unable to drive, but Isis got us there in record time. I wanted to run down the halls, but I couldn’t find the strength. The sight of the hospital and the fear of the unknown had me feeling sick. Isis went to the receptionist’s desk to find out about Penny, but before she could get any information, Kirk rounded the corner.

  “Is she okay, Kirk?” I managed.

  “She will be . . . but she has been beaten badly. They got her in the back.” My legs simply gave out, and I dropped to the floor.

  “Secret.” Isis rushed over to me, calling my name. She and Kirk both pulled me up and walked me over to a chair in the lobby.

  “You got to be strong. She’s going to be fine,” Kirk tried to assure me. I wanted to believe him, but I was sick with doubt and uncertainty. We sat in the lobby for two hours before the doctor finally came out to give us any information.

  “She’s going to be okay physically,” he explained. “She was beaten badly, mostly external bruises . . . and she was raped.”

  A gasp from deep within me slid out of my mouth. I swayed, but Kirk caught me. I tried to speak, but my whole body seems to shake. I took a deep breath and forced my vocal cords to work. “Can I see her?”

  “When she came in she was in a bit of shock. She passed out and hasn’t regained consciousness . . . but she will in time. Her body needs the rest. We gave her something to keep her comfortable. Only family is allowed back to see her for now.”

  I grabbed Isis’s hand tight. “We are her sisters.” The doctor nodded his head with an approving motion then showed us to her room. He left us to be alone with her.

  One look at Penny lying there helpless sent me doubling over in pain. Her bruised, swollen face looked so peaceful. I just didn’t understand how something so bad could happen to her. Penny had never done any wrong to anyone; she was always honest and good. In a million years she could never deserve this.

  Isis tried to be strong for me, but I looked over and she was trembling. I walked over to her and helped her take a seat on the sofa in the room. Turning my attention back to Penny, I walked over to her and softly touched her bloodstained hand. My legs shook violently as I tried to stand strong. Bending over, I kissed Penny on the cheek and whispered in her ear that I loved her and she was going to be okay.

  A nurse came into the room and asked us to step out for a minute. I did not want to hear that. I was not about to leave her side; she needed me. “Listen, my sister been missin’ for two days, and I ain’t leaving her,” I cried.

  “Ma’am, it will only take a minute. We are switching shifts and I need to pass my last meds and chart.”

  Isis walked over to me. “It’s okay, Secret. We’ll just go out into the lobby area and let them do their job. Then we can come back and stay all night.” Giving the nurse the nastiest look I could muster, I reluctantly left the room. Each step I took away from the room seemed to hurt worse than the last. I needed to be with Penny. I was surprised to see Sway in the waiting area talking to Kirk. He approached me, and I fell into his arms with contentment and broke down. I felt so safe in his strong arms. I was glad that he had come.

  After a while, we all sat down. “I just can’t believe this shit. Who would do this to her?” I continued to cry.

  “A fuckin’ monster. That’s who,” Isis spat.

  “Trust me, I’m going to find out who the motherfucker is. But that call that I got was anonymous. I put money on the streets to get information, but whoever this is, motherfuckers didn’t bite for that right away. Which tells me this some other shit.”

  “But what, though? Who would want to hurt Penny? I swear when I find out who is responsible I will kill them!” I said through clenched teeth.

  “Nah, you don’t have to worry about that, because I’ma dead that motherfucker. Believe that. Whoever the bitch is can’t hide ’cause I got a fifty-thousand-dollar bounty out for information. And you know in the hood a nigga will give up his mama for that type of cash. So we wait.” The scowl on Kirk’s face told me he meant business, and murder would be the case before this was all said and done.

  Chapter 36

  Isis

  Days crept by, and Penny still had not awakened; the doctor didn’t want to say she was in a coma, but she was. Secret and I had been in the room with her the entire time. I refused to leave Secret’s side. She needed me, and to be honest, I needed her. I trembled inside every time I thought about Penny and what she had been through. To watch her lie helpless sickened me. Secret had fallen almost completely apart, and I feared that if Penny didn’t wake up soon she would have a nervous breakdown. The three of us had been through some pretty tough times together, and through them all we had survived. I prayed this would be the same.

  And I thanked God for Rico, Kirk, and Sway. With them there with us, it helped fill the void. It felt good knowing someone else had our backs since our parents were not there. There still was no word from Jackie, and at this point I prayed she didn’t show up. Secret would probably attack her for showing up this late. It was sad that now was no better than the past: when they needed her the most, she was nowhere to be found.

  “I think now would be a good time for you to go home and get some rest. When she awakes, someone will notify you.” The doctor tried to convince Secret. The area around her eyes was dark and her eyes were red; she resembled a ghost. But even I knew at her worst she would not be moved.

  “I’m fine. I’ll rest when she wakes.” Her eyes never left Penny.

  “You need to understand that she could wake up at any moment. And when she wakes is when your work really starts. You need rest,” the doctor continued to try to persuade her.

  “Doctor.” Secret bounced her head in his direction. I braced myself and waited, afraid she was going to curse him out. “Thanks for the concern, but I’m all my sister got. For no reason am I going to leave her side. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” This time he just nodded his head in agreement and exited the room.

  “I’m sooo sorry.” Erica, who was sitting in the recliner across from me, let out a painful cry from deep within. It was so strong I felt it penetrate my soul like a drum beating. Secret slowly turned around and looked at her. “It’s my fault this happened to her.” She tried to lift her hand to point at Penny, but it just dropped to her side like a sack of potatoes.

  “Erica . . .” I started to say something, but she cut me off.

  “No, it is . . . When she was done with her class for the day, she came to my last class to meet up with me so that we could ride home together. But this guy Sidney I had been flirting back and forth with asked me to stay after class and said that he would take me home. And I am so fuckin’ stupid tryin’ to smile up in this nigga face. If I had went with her, this wouldn’t never have happened. I was supposed to be there and I wasn’t,” she bellowed some more.

  Feeling her pain, I got up and walked over to her. “Erica, you can’t blame yourself.”

  Secret walked over, bent down, and hugged her. “You have been nothin’ but a friend to Penny, the best a girl could ask for. And I’m proud of you. This is on the monster who did this to her. And whoever it is, their days are numbered. Trust it’s not your fault. So you wipe those tears. Penny will need you to be one hundred when she wakes up.” Damn, I was proud of Secret; in as much pain as she was in, she took the time out to be strong for Erica. But her words rang true. Lifting herself back up, she walked back over to Penny.

  “You’ve been here with us for the last few days. Why don’t you go home and take a shower, and get some rest. Like Secret just said, Penny gon’ need you when she wakes up.” I smiled at her.

  “But I . . .” She opened her mouth to protest, but Secret intervened.

  “It’s a good idea,” Secret said, agreeing with me. “Go home and rest up.”

  Reluctantly, she stood and walked away, but not before making it clear that she would be back.

  Sitting back on the couch, I glanced at the overhead television as The Price Is Right came on. A
text came to my phone from Rico, telling me he was out in the lobby. “Secret, I’m going to step out in the waiting area for a bit. Rico is here.”

  “Cool,” she replied, still not taking her eyes away from Penny.

  “Hey.” Rico hugged me tight. Tears instantly poured down my face. I hugged him even tighter. I craved his comfort. “Babe, it’s all right.” His voice was comforting.

  “I know. It’s just hard to watch her like that.”

  “She still hasn’t woken up?”

  I shook my head no. “All her vitals are good. The doctor says there is nothin’ physically wrong besides the bruises. He says she’s just resting from the shock of it all.”

  “Wow. Hopefully she’s up soon. How is Secret holdin’ up?”

  “Not good.” I shook my head. “I’m worried about her. She refuses to leave Penny’s side, except to use the bathroom. She was refusing to eat until the doctor threatened to admit her.”

  “All that will pass, though, once Penny wakes up. She’s just shook, that’s all.”

  “I pray it’s soon.”

  “How about you? You need to go home and get some sleep. A good night’s sleep will be good for you.” I one hundred percent agreed with him. I was so exhausted the day before, I had started to see double, so I had taken a nap.

  “Sleep sounds wonderful, but I can’t leave Secret.” I shook my head. “I can’t leave her,” I repeated matter-of-factly. “You know the three of us always had it hard in one way or another, but just . . .” I paused as the emotion swelled up inside of me, but I tried to control it. I sucked my teeth. “Just as our lives start getting better, and now . . .” My voice started to shake. “Now this has to happen.” No longer able to control it, my emotions spilled down my cheeks. Rico wasted no time wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. All the comfort I needed was in his embrace.