Looking for Justice: Christian Contemporary Romance with Suspense (Dangerous Series Book 4)

by Linda K. Rodante

  “So she says! I—”

  “Mrs. Saltare, please let Professor Stephens finish.”

  Luke crossed his arms over his chest. “As you know, Alexis has handled abuse cases in Georgia and has established a house for victims of abuse.”

  “My daughter—”

  “Mrs. Saltare, please.”

  “However, Alexis cannot practice law in Tennessee. She is only trying to help Jessica.”

  “Well, I want Jessica out of her place today!” Dawn’s voice rose.

  Luke uncrossed his arms and leaned forward. “I thought you both went home the other day.”

  “We did, but Jessica went back last night.”

  “Did she?” Luke shifted his gaze to the President again. “I think Alexis could clear this up.”

  Jim nodded. “Probably, but she isn’t here today. She called in and said she would be out today for personal reasons.”

  “Personal reasons that have to do with my daughter!”

  Luke stared past her. Alexis hadn’t come for class? Well, he could understand – after yesterday. And then if Jessica did show up at her door last night… His chest emptied, leaving a crater inside. Last night he’d alternated between pacing and wanting to throw something to sitting and staring at the fire. He had stoked it so much that he had to open all the windows to rid the house of the extra heat. Today, he stoked his anger and held onto it to stave off the other emotions churning inside, but somehow, the thought that she wasn’t in the building left an even greater abyss.

  “Luke?” The President’s voice reached him.

  He shifted. “Yes?”

  “I think you and I and Professor Jergenson should talk about this on Monday.”

  “Monday?” Dawn’s voice shrilled again. “I want something done today.”

  The President stepped from behind his desk. “Now, Mrs. Saltare, I can’t do anything until I’ve talked with Professor Jergenson and your daughter. Jessica is an adult as Professor Stephens pointed out. I will have to hear what she says about this.” He walked to the door and opened it.

  “Well, she’s not thinking clearly, and she’s acting out.” Her eyes narrowed at Luke. “Too many people are trying to influence her.”

  “Come out here, Mrs. Saltare, and give my assistant your name and address. I will call you as soon as I speak to your daughter.” He led her through the doorway and closed it behind them.

  Luke stared at the closed door. Last time he spoke with Dawn, she said he and Alexis were angels from heaven. Things had changed when she and Jessica moved from Alexis’ condo, but what was going on? He reached for his phone before his brain stopped him.

  He couldn’t call Alexis even if she would take his call. The emptiness in his chest returned, and, with it, the anger.

  He stepped to the President’s desk and punched Cliff’s extension.

  “Dean Smithfield. Can I help you?”

  Luke’s jaw tightened. “Yes. I need to see you in the President’s office as soon as you can get here.”

  “Luke?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  “Good.”

  He cradled the phone. In a moment, Jim returned. He moved around Luke and sat in his chair. Neither said anything.

  Jim’s fingers rapped on the polished wood of his desk. “I’ll need some more information before I talk with her daughter.”

  Luke nodded, picked up a picture from the President’s desk and stared at the family portrait. How could this man whom he so respected do something unethical and secretive? He lifted his head.

  “I need something from you, too. I need more information on why Alexis Jergenson was hired and told to keep secret the fact that she is not a Christian.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  ”I heard you, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Alexis told me about this…this little scheme yesterday. It was not a good conversation for either of us. She specifically said you and Cliff knew she wasn’t a Christian and hired her. She said—”

  The door opened. The academic dean stepped in and closed it behind him. “Luke, your voice carries when you’re upset.”

  Luke’s jaw tightened. “I’m not trying to keep any of this under wraps.”

  Cliff nodded and stepped forward. “I thought when you called just now that you had to know about Alexis. I’m sorry. I understand your anger. I had no idea you and she would become involved. It never entered my mind that something like this would happen. And Jim knew nothing about it.”

  The President pushed up from his chair. “What didn’t I know?”

  “That I hired Alexis knowing she wasn’t a Christian.” Cliff held up a hand. “I know our policy, but I decided to make this a special case. I did not tell you because I wasn’t sure if you would agree. I told Alexis, however, that you knew. I lied. Christian or not, she would not have come without your approval and the Board’s. Her integrity is high. I finessed her into coming. We were desperate, and so was she.”

  Desperate. The word reverberated in Luke’s mind. Desperate to get away from the cases that kept her own wounds open. Desperate enough to run to a small Christian college and pretend she was something she wasn’t. And he’d brought Jessica to her and scraped the wounds open again.

  And yesterday? What had he done to her yesterday? He hadn’t handled it correctly. His record with her was not just poor, it was appalling. Not that the outcome could be any different, no matter how he’d handled it.

  He glared at the Dean. “What you did was deceptive and detrimental to the college.”

  “What I did was for the college.”

  “Deception, going against policy, will not help the college in the long run. You think God will reward that?”

  “From what I’ve heard, Alexis is an excellent teacher. The students are thrilled with her classes.”

  “That has nothing to do with—“

  The President dropped a book onto his desk. Both men’s heads jerked his way. His eyes focused on the Dean. “Cliff, you and I have some things to discuss. Luke, give us the time. Please wait on me before you spread this around.”

  “I’ll wait, but I won’t let this get swept under the rug.”

  “No one’s asking you to.”

  Luke nodded, glared again at the Dean, and walked out the door.

  Chapter 14

  The sound of the truck engine reached him before it rounded the corner of the house and pulled to a halt near the barn. Luke glanced at the tack in his hands. His Saturday routine could wait. He’d half expected a visit.

  Her brother climbed from the truck, shut the door, and stood glaring at him. Yeah. He’d guessed this missionary pilot had a temper that he fought to control as much as Luke did his. We all have our foibles, a thorn in the flesh with which to contend, don’t we, Lord?

  John Jergenson’s face and clenched fists displayed his battle. After a few moments, the man’s hands relaxed.

  “Luke.”

  Luke nodded. “John.”

  Silence stood between them for a moment.

  “You might as well have raped her.” John’s anger, though under control, was still there.

  A similar rage shot through Luke. He stepped forward, but stopped. The man loved his sister. They’d been through a lot this year. Let him say what he wanted and get the pain out.

  John’s eyes narrowed. “She trusted you.”

  “I trusted her. She lied to me, to her students.”

  “She didn’t lie. If you’d asked her, she would have told you the truth. The Dean instructed her not to say anything. You assumed—”

  “He was wrong.”

  “Yes, he was wrong. I didn’t know what she was asked to do. Sharee didn’t know. We would have advised her differently. But Alexis is not a Christian. She didn’t see this as a big deal.”

  “So she said. It is.”

  “Of course it is, especially if you’re in love with her.”

&
nbsp; Luke tightened his jaw, turned to the gate and flipped the halter and lead over the post. He took his time. John said nothing.

  Luke looked back at him. “Whether I am or not, it doesn’t make any difference now.”

  “Of course, it does. It makes all the difference. It’s why you would walk away. You can’t marry her if she’s not a Christian. Otherwise, you would have told her what she did was wrong, explained why it was wrong and tried to help her make it right. But you didn’t. You ran.”

  Luke’s chin jutted. His body stiffened. He’d wanted to hit something or somebody these last two days. Maybe he’d get the chance now.

  John raised a brow. “Well, come on. Give it a shot.” But a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “We’d both feel better, but I doubt it’s what the Lord wants.”

  Luke scowled.

  John moved forward. “Look, if this was anyone else, you’d at least try to explain why you felt what she did was wrong. Give her some grace.”

  Luke glared.

  “Or you could witness to her, give her a chance to receive Jesus as her Savior.”

  “She’s been in my class. She’s heard what I have to say.”

  “Teaching a class is not a direct witness.”

  “It never works between people who are close. It’s just me shoving my religion down her throat.”

  “How would you know unless you tried?”

  “You’ve tried, haven’t you?”

  “Of course, but I’m not giving up. If you give up, just dump her like she’s not worth the bother, then you’ve done the same thing those other men did – prove to her that she’s not worth anything. You’ve got to get past your hurt and your anger and think of her.”

  “I have thought of her. Too much.” He swept a hand toward the barn and the house. “Over the last few weeks, thought of her here with me. I assumed the leg would be a problem, not this.”

  “So cope with it. Give her a chance. And if it doesn’t work…well, give her the full explanation not the abbreviated one you did the other day.”

  Give her a chance. Yeah. And tear both their hearts apart.

  “At least pray about it.”

  He clenched his fists and stared at the other man. John stared back. Silence reigned until Luke nodded his assent. He knew before praying that her brother was right, and, deep inside, a tiny ember of hope burned.

  Fool, he told himself; but that didn’t stop the slight uptick in his heart.

  ***

  Alexis considered the long tumultuous weekend that had passed. She couldn’t leave Jessica yet. She palmed her phone and made the necessary call. She’d be out one more day. Missing class both Friday and today would be hard on her students and herself, but right now, leaving Jessica and facing Luke were two mountains she couldn’t – or wouldn’t – climb.

  She rested her elbows on the kitchen table and looked over her cup as Jessica walked into the kitchen.

  The girl had broken down as soon as she crossed the threshold Thursday night. Vacillating between sobs and anger, Jessica’s “What ifs” and “Why me?” echoed those of Alexis at sixteen. She could only hold the girl and listen.

  Jessica’s struggles had triggered memories in Alexis, memories of the first rape and then the second. Her parents had insisted she report the rape at sixteen, but she had never reported the second assault, never told anyone but John; and she’d sworn him to secrecy. Then she’d told Luke. Feeling her heart jerk at that thought, she swallowed against the tightening of her throat and sighed.

  Why had she believed Brock? She’d wanted to, wanted to believe that she could be free again. She’d let him talk her into the fact that in order to get over the first rape, she needed to have sex with someone who cared. In being so naive, she had invited her own violation. She had gone freely with him that weekend. So, the rape had been her fault. At least, that’s what she’d thought. Both John and Luke vehemently disagreed. She had told Brock “no” once they arrived at the cabin, and “no was no” both men insisted. Date rape might not have the same stigma to some, but it was the same act, tearing through dignity, trust, and personal confidence. And she was not to blame.

  Alexis’ fingers tightened around her cup. She bowed her head and took a sip of the cocoa-colored liquid. Should she share with Jessica what had happened to her? Would it help or hinder things?

  The girl’s anger and heartache were complicated by her feelings of betrayal from her mother and heightened by the fact that Leland had not been arrested. What if he found her again? Fear, Alexis knew, would follow her for some time. The multitude of emotions flowing through her needed validation, and Alexis shared the knowledge she’d accumulated from the rape crisis center and from victims she’d represented over the years.

  She’d always held herself aloof when being told of the trauma women and children—even some men—went through from assaults. But now, as she ministered to Jessica, the words she used chipped away at her own hardness. Telling Luke had cracked that rigidity, and the openings had widened as the weekend progressed. The desire to be free of the past seemed like a mythical siren calling her. Could she ever be free?

  Alexis covered a yawn, shoved the personal thoughts aside and studied Jessica. Something was different this morning. The girl had combed her hair, washed her face, and put on make-up. Not something she’d done either Saturday or Sunday.

  Jessica brought her coffee to the table and sat across from Alexis. “I need to forgive Leland and my mom.”

  Alexis straightened. Where had that come from?

  “Rachel called last night. I…we talked for a long time. No matter what either of them has done to me, I need to forgive them.”

  Forgive them? Alexis didn’t want to go there. Wanting to be free of the emotions that bound her did not equate to forgiving the offender. Did it? She changed the subject. “So, your mother still wants you to withdraw the complaint?”

  Jessica glanced down, then met her gaze. “Yes.”

  Alexis nodded and sipped at the warm liquid in her cup. More cream and a quarter bar of chocolate in the coffee would help. She put it down. “But you won’t withdraw it, and you’ll give evidence at the trial?”

  “Yes. To both.” Jessica lowered the mug she held. “Professor Jergenson, forgiving him doesn’t mean that what he did was right. It means I release him from my own vengeance. I give him to God. God, after all, forgave us our sins. That doesn’t mean we don’t have consequences in this life. In this world, there are often consequences. Leland will have to live with his, but I…I have to do what is right.”

  Okay, they weren’t going to get past this. “You forgive him?”

  “Well, I’m working on it. I’m willing. Rachel helped me see that last night. I have to forgive.”

  “You have to?”

  “The same way I have to have the baby. Because God says we must, and,” she emphasized the conjunction, “He will bless it if I do. Sometimes, we can’t see the far-reaching effects of something, but God does. He’s all-knowing. I know He will work things out for the good. I…I just got off-kilter for a while. Mom is not a believer. She doesn’t understand.”

  Alexis turned her head away. The force that had driven her life came from anger not forgiveness. She’d wanted justice all these years. She still did.

  “You know, Jessica, I’m not as big on forgiveness as you are.”

  “I figured that, Professor Jergenson. In fact, a number of us wondered if you really knew Jesus.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You never reference God in the classroom. You let others talk about Him, but you don’t.”

  Alexis studied her coffee for a minute. It’s not like it wouldn’t get out. She’d be gone in a few weeks, anyway, if not sooner. Being on the same campus with Luke, the same floor, listening to his voice coming down the hall from his classroom… Her heart stalled. She had never imagined caring this much.

  In other circumstances, she’d finish what she started; but once everyone knew, they
might ask her to leave, anyway. Luke would probably talk with the Dean, and even if he didn’t, she would. The charade had lasted too long.

  “So you all decided I wasn’t a Christian?”

  “Pretty much.” Jessica took a sip of the dark liquid in her mug, added more vanilla flavoring and smiled. “It’s all right, though. We all like you and your class.”

  Alexis smiled. Warmth stirred inside. “Thank you for saying that.”

  “We’ve learned so much. About the law, about people, and how that all connects to God whether you formally taught it or not.”

  “How it all connects to God?”

  “Yes. You know, if you stay within the laws of this country, for the most part, you stay out of trouble. I mean the laws are meant to help people. We get it that they don’t always. But they’re man’s laws. God’s laws are different. He’s perfect, so they are, too. If we stay within His laws, then our lives are blessed. Now, I’m not saying nothing bad ever happens. That’s crazy. We’re still in a fight with the devil and sin, but God’s blessings come when we do what we know is right.”

  Alexis sucked in her breath. Her chest hurt. Stay within God’s laws. That’s what Luke would do. He wouldn’t marry her. But he’d thought about it. Find a man, he’d said, that would walk her up the aisle. If he hadn’t considered it himself, the words would never have come from his mouth.

  Funny. She hadn’t thought about marriage in years. Marriage, children, a home. And now, before the desire had fully formed, the dream was snatched from her.

  She blinked her eyes. Time for another subject change. “Have you thought more about whether you will raise your baby yourself or place him for adoption?”

  Jessica shook her head then smiled. “Him or her.”

  Alexis smiled, too. “Yes, him or her. When will you find out?”

  “In a few more weeks. They have free sonograms at the pregnancy center. I can probably see the heartbeat now. I just need to get down there.”

  “”Will that make a difference to you?”

  “Oh, no. I just want him or her to be healthy and happy.”