The Last Secret of the Deverills

by Santa Montefiore

  Kitty told her mother that her father had settled into a comfortable routine and found contentment at last, living in the Hunting Lodge and taking consolation from his memories. ‘Losing Harry has been unbearable for all of us,’ said Maud. ‘I understand why Beatrice dived beneath the blankets and refused to see anyone after Digby died. That’s how I felt after Harry was killed. Utter despair. Blackness. A void that you know will never be filled because Harry was irreplaceable.’ Maud reached out and took Kitty’s hand. Kitty did not resist, although her mother’s touch felt very odd. ‘I couldn’t bear to lose you or Victoria or Elspeth. I couldn’t bear to lose Bertie, either. I don’t think my heart could take any more loss. What I’m trying to say, and badly at that, is how much I regret the years we have drifted. You’re forty-five now and I’m at an unspeakable age, and I look back and kick myself for the wasted years.’

  ‘Nothing is wasted if you learn from your mistakes,’ said Kitty. ‘And mistakes have been made by all of us. None of us is blameless. You put up with a great deal: Papa’s affair with the maid and the illegitimate child he raised as his own. You had every right to be appalled.’

  ‘What is JP like?’ Maud asked. ‘Is he like Bertie?’

  ‘Very,’ Kitty replied. ‘He’s a Deverill through and through.’

  Maud smiled wistfully and Kitty frowned. If Maud was now smiling at the thought of JP, something cataclysmic was taking place.

  And at last Maud revealed what it was.

  ‘Arthur has asked me to marry him,’ she said. ‘He’s asked me to divorce Bertie and to marry him.’

  Kitty’s heart sank for her father, who still held a torch for Maud and who still harboured a fragile hope that she would one day go back to him. ‘Have you told Papa?’ Kitty asked.

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘When are you going to tell him?’

  ‘Soon.’

  ‘He’ll be very sad.’

  ‘No he won’t,’ said Maud with certainty.

  ‘Oh, he will.’

  ‘Not when I tell him I’m coming home.’

  Kitty gasped. She didn’t think she was capable of happiness under the circumstances, but this made her deadbeat heart splutter back to life. ‘You’re not going to marry Arthur?’

  ‘How can I marry Arthur when I love Bertie,’ said Maud, and Kitty was sure that she could see her mother’s eyes glistening with tears. ‘It’s taken me a very long time to know myself, but now I do, I’m going to ask Bertie if he’ll take me back.’

  ‘He will take you back. I know he will,’ said Kitty, laughing. ‘Oh Mama, that’s the best news I’ve heard in such a long time.’

  ‘And you need some good news,’ Maud said, squeezing her daughter’s hand.

  ‘We all do,’ Kitty added. ‘But no one deserves it more than Papa.’

  Martha had been in London for six weeks, working at the American Embassy, when she received a letter from Countess di Marcantonio. It was written on ivory-coloured paper with three bees embossed at the top in gold and black. In neat, deliberate handwriting she thanked Martha for her letter and invited her to stay at the castle so that they could discuss her plans in more detail. I’m just the right person to approach about this, she wrote. I’m so pleased that you felt you could write to me. You must come at once so we can start the process. Your job sounds very interesting in London, but I fear it is not conducive to your goal. You must stay with me for as long as you need to.

  Martha was elated. She was more determined than ever to change her life radically and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. The fact that the Countess had invited her to stay in the castle was more than she had hoped. She gave in her notice at the Embassy and bought a passage to Queenstown.

  Ireland was as beautiful as it had been when Martha had left it just before the war. A thin mist hung over the coastline as the boat approached the harbour. The sun shone through it causing the little particles of water to sparkle like glitter. She watched in awe and delight as the boat motored into its midst and she was at once enveloped in the magic of it.

  It had been almost seven years since she had arrived with her heart full of anticipation and excitement at the thought of seeing JP. Seven years since she had left with her heart in pieces. But she had sought comfort in God and He had delivered. Now Martha felt a serenity she hadn’t felt before, as if the wings of God’s angels were wrapping themselves around her, protecting her from the ghosts of the past. She concentrated on the beauty of the landscape, on the soft green hills and the clean, damp air and let the mysticism that runs through Ireland like deep underground rivulets carry away the memory of her pain. She was returning to Ballinakelly but, with God’s help, she would be impervious to the emotions she had left there.

  The Countess had sent her chauffeur to pick Martha up at the port. He waited beside her shiny green car in a pristine uniform complete with gloves and cap. The drive was comfortable and Martha gazed out of the window with her spirits high on the excitement of being once again in the country which, in spite of the sorrow she had suffered there, had not lost its power to enchant.

  As the car motored up the drive, between the lustrous rhododendron bushes, Martha thought of Lord Deverill, her real father, who had once lived in this castle. It seemed strange to think that she had a connection to this place – that her parents had conceived her here. How different might her life have been had her mother raised her in Ballinakelly. She gazed at the formidable stone walls, towers and turrets, chimneys and ramparts of Castle Deverill and marvelled at the long history of this once powerful family of which she was part.

  When she arrived she found the Countess much changed. She seemed smaller than she had been that morning in the milliner’s, and she wore black from head to toe, which Martha later discovered was due to the recent death of her husband. Bridie embraced her like an old friend, asking her dozens of questions as she led her upstairs to a sumptuous bedroom overlooking a large box garden below. While a maid unpacked her bag Bridie sat with her in her little upstairs sitting room where a fire burned heartily in the grate and tea was served on a silver tray. She introduced Martha to her sister-in-law Rosetta, who was as fat as lard but as sweet as summer fruit, and the three women talked without pause as if they had known each other forever.

  ‘I have arranged for Father Quinn to come to the castle tomorrow at eleven,’ said Bridie. ‘I have told him about you and he is ready to start.’

  ‘That’s wonderful news,’ said Martha. ‘I’m so grateful to you, Countess, for your kindness.’

  ‘Please, call me Bridie. That title has never suited me.’

  ‘Bridie then,’ said Martha. ‘You are very kind to go to so much trouble.’

  ‘It is no trouble at all, is it, Rosetta?’

  ‘Bridie needs a project,’ said Rosetta, as if she were talking about a restless child. ‘Even before Cesare passed away she was bored.’

  ‘You see, when I lived in America there was so much to do. There were so many parties and life was such fun. Here, it’s so quiet. I tried to entertain Cesare, but Ballinakelly was too small for such a larger-than-life character.’ Bridie’s voice faltered then. ‘I wish you could have met my husband. He was the most wonderful man. A true gem and I was lucky to have found him. I miss him every day, but thank the Lord that I had so many happy years with him. Truly, there is no man alive who can compare to my darling Cesare.’

  Rosetta smiled stiffly. ‘He was unique,’ she said tightly.

  ‘But now you are here, Martha, and I am in the fortunate position of being able to help you. My life has been an extraordinary adventure. I started here as a child born into poverty and made my way to America where I made a fortune. But I have never lost my faith. Indeed, my faith has been the one thing that has supported me through all the difficult times, and there have been many, many, believe me. God has never forsaken me. You said in your letter that God has shone His light into your dark and troubled soul and shown you the way. I have been there, Martha. I have been to very da
rk and troubled places and God has always shown me the light. So, I want to help you convert to Catholicism, which, as you told me in your letter, is the religion of your mother’s family, the Tobins. And I want to help you achieve your ultimate goal.’

  Martha was close to tears at Bridie’s moving speech. She put her hand on her heart and sighed. ‘You will really do this for me?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course. You see, I know the perfect convent for you.’ Bridie couldn’t imagine why she had suddenly decided to mention the convent where she had suffered such unhappiness. But it just felt right to do so.

  ‘You do?’ said Martha.

  ‘Yes, it is the Convent of Our Lady Queen of Heaven in Dublin.’

  Martha stared at Bridie in wonder, for that was the very convent where she was born and where she had later gone in search of her mother. At that extraordinary coincidence, she began to weep.

  ‘Have I upset you?’ Bridie asked, concerned. She looked at Rosetta who shrugged.

  Martha shook her head. ‘No, I’m just so touched. It feels like Fate. It feels like I’m meant to be here, with you. It feels like God Himself has led me to you.’

  Bridie smiled with satisfaction. ‘He has led you to me, Martha. And I am ready to do His work and help you become a nun.’

  Chapter 28

  It was a cold November afternoon in Ballinakelly but the skies were clear and the light was golden as the sun sank slowly behind the trees, casting long shadows across the damp ground. Bertie was in the garden talking to Mr Flynn the gardener, casting his eyes in dismay over the untidy shrubs and elder, which seemed to have taken over every border, and wondering whether Mr Flynn did any work at all besides chopping logs and laying them in neat piles in the barn, which had become something of an obsession. Bertie had grown benign in his old age and didn’t reprimand the man, after all, he didn’t show much interest in the garden so he couldn’t really expect his gardener to be inspired. If only Maud were here, he thought. She’d enjoy creating a beautiful garden and Mr Flynn would be motivated to do a little more than chop logs.

  Bertie’s two big wolf hounds, who accompanied him everywhere, raised their heads and pricked their ears. ‘Well, who’s that?’ Bertie asked with a good-natured chuckle. He’d already taken them on a long walk over the hills and shot a rabbit for his dinner. ‘I think what’s needed is a lot of cutting back,’ said Bertie, rubbing his chin. The gardener nodded and frowned. It was a big job for one man. The dogs began to bark and the rumbling sound of a car grew louder.

  It was a cab. Bertie wasn’t expecting anyone. ‘That’ll be all, Mr Flynn,’ he said, putting his hands in his coat pockets and heading off towards the front of the house. ‘Who’s that then?’ he asked the dogs again who, excited by their master’s tone of voice, shot off at a run.

  The car was just drawing up when Bertie reached it. The cabbie got out and went to open the passenger door. Bertie watched as one elegant ankle in a shiny black court shoe stepped out onto the gravel. ‘Good Lord!’ he gasped. ‘It can’t be!’ But it was.

  ‘Hello, Bertie,’ said Maud, and the smile she gave him lifted his heart higher than it had been for a very long time.

  ‘Maud. Why the devil didn’t you telephone?’

  ‘I wanted to tell you to your face, not down a wire,’ she said, straightening her hat, which didn’t need straightening. As usual, everything about Maud’s appearance was flawless.

  Bertie walked up to her, his face flushing. ‘What did you want to tell me?’ He noticed the cabbie putting five suitcases onto the steps. ‘Maud? What’s going on?’

  ‘I’ve come home,’ she said with a sigh.

  ‘You mean . . . ?’

  She looked at him and her eyes betrayed her uncertainty. ‘If you’ll have me, of course.’

  Bertie beamed. ‘Oh Maud! You’ve made me the happiest man alive!’

  Then she gave him the sort of smile for which she had once been celebrated, the sort of smile men had gone to great lengths to deserve, the sort of smile she hadn’t given Bertie in forty years. He took her hand and pressed it to his lips. ‘I promise you, Maud, that everything will be different now. I will love you and value you and never let you down. I have changed.’

  ‘And I have changed too,’ said Maud.

  Their attention was at once diverted by the cabbie, who was now standing by the car, looking at them uncomfortably. ‘Oh, I see, of course,’ said Bertie, putting his hand in his pocket. He grinned as Maud walked into the house. She hasn’t changed that much, he thought joyfully as he handed the cabbie his fare.

  Jack felt as if he had been born again. With this new beginning came the gift of choice: the chance to change for the better, to choose right over wrong. With this fresh start came a renewed and heightened perception. He not only felt different on the inside but the world looked different on the outside as well. The hills were greener and more vibrant, the sea a deeper shade of blue and Emer, his precious and beloved Emer, radiated a sublime beauty. Jack’s heart overflowed with gratitude for all the small things he had previously taken for granted. He was grateful for his family, his home and the beautiful country of his birth. He needed nothing more and the idea that he had put it all in jeopardy for the love of another woman now appalled him. Kitty was part of him, there was no denying it, but a part of his youth and there she must stay.

  Jack’s love for his wife intensified in the light of her forgiveness. She didn’t berate him for putting them through such agonies and she didn’t torment him with tales of their despair. She let the matter go altogether and stood firmly in the present, treasuring as he did their newfound freedom from fear and uncertainty and their appreciation of each other. Now, at last, they could finally live in peace.

  Liam and Aileen quickly forgot the unhappy episode as they accompanied their father on his visits around the county. Life swiftly returned to normal and the memory faded. For Alana, however, it was an entirely different matter. She could not forget the love letters she had found in his bag.

  Jack assumed that his eldest child’s resentment was due to the misery he had put her through. He believed she lacked her mother’s maturity, so he did not expect forgiveness to come easily, and she lacked her siblings’ naïvety, which enabled them to accept so readily and move on. He resolved to give her time.

  It wasn’t until he noticed the absence of Kitty’s letters in his veterinary bag that the truth was finally revealed. He hadn’t realized they were missing because he hadn’t gone looking for them. It was only after waking up in the middle of the night with the thought of what those letters could potentially do that he crept downstairs to find them and destroy them. He was horrified to discover that they weren’t there. Of course he had only kept some of them in his bag and was relieved to find the other bundles where he had hidden them. After burning those he realized that Alana must have found the ones in his bag. If Emer had come across them would she have welcomed him back so warmly? If Alana hadn’t, would she resent him so? He couldn’t imagine what had motivated her to go searching in his veterinary bag and he deeply regretted having kept such incriminating evidence there; but so it was and he had to somehow put it right.

  Now he knew the reason for Alana’s unhappiness he understood why she had broken off her engagement to JP Deverill and why she had not confided in her mother, and he was wracked with guilt. It all made sense. Alana was suffering alone and he couldn’t allow it to go on.

  He found her at the Fairy Ring. He knew she’d be there. It was no longer his and Kitty’s special place; it was Alana and JP’s.

  It was late afternoon and the winter sun was low in the sky, casting long, eerie shadows across the damp grass at the foot of the megaliths. There was a brisk wind blowing in off the water and below the waves crashed loudly against the rocks. Alana was surprised to see her father. She’d been gazing out to sea, thinking about JP and trying to find a way through her unhappiness. Jack was the last person she expected to see, and the last person she wanted to see. She folded her
arms defensively and turned her face back into the wind.

  ‘We need to talk,’ he said, standing beside her. Alana said nothing. ‘You found the letters, didn’t you?’ he continued. She looked at him in surprise and his suspicions were confirmed. ‘I thought so,’ he said. She chewed her lip, not knowing what to say. He sighed and thrust his hands into his coat pockets. ‘I’m not going to deny that Kitty and I loved each other—’

  ‘Then don’t,’ Alana snapped. ‘I don’t want to hear your excuses.’

  ‘But it’s over. I’ve been an eejit, Alana, and I regret it more than I can say. I made a mistake. A massive mistake.’ He turned to face her and Alana tried hard to keep her gaze trained on the horizon so as not to weaken. She was determined to make him suffer for his infidelity, to make him suffer for the distress he’d caused her, even though his remorse might be sincere and heartfelt. ‘When I was hiding out at Badger’s I had a lot of time to think,’ he went on. ‘I realized then that Kitty was nothing more than nostalgia. It was your mother who meant the world to me. I didn’t think of Kitty grieving at the news of my death, but I thought of Emer and you and Liam and Aileen, and it tormented me. It drove me to madness. I knew then that what I had with Kitty was not real, that I had been selfish and self-indulgent. I resolved to change and I have, Alana. I see the world with different eyes now. I thank God for your mother, my wife. I know I don’t deserve her. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope at least you’ll understand.’

  Alana looked at him steadily. ‘Mam must never know,’ she said. ‘You must never tell her. Promise me you’ll never tell her. It will break her heart.’

  Jack nodded and Alana had to turn away again because it hurt her to see his eyes so full of regret, regret that was genuine. ‘I hate to ask you to harbour a secret such as this,’ he said. ‘You’re too young to be burdened with my sin.’

  ‘I will do it for Mam,’ she replied tightly.

  ‘And what about you? JP played no part in this. He is as innocent as you are.’