Autumn Spring

by Shelley Thrasher

  Linda took a deep breath. “Release them through loving sex.”

  Bree’s grin almost split her face. “That’s more like it. Okay, I’m ready.”

  “Down, girl. Remember what you just made me promise.”

  “What? I don’t remember a thing.”

  “You can’t fool me. Seriously, having the Emperor in this final position is quite a challenge. He represents your impatience and desire to control, but he usually shows that your life will soon change in a big way. You’ll have to control yourself and learn to manage the emotions and creative urges bouncing around in you. If you can’t, you’ll probably run away again.”

  Now who was being harsh? Linda asked herself. She prayed Bree could break the patterns of a lifetime—she prayed they both could—but felt confident they’d work together toward that shared goal.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  “I’m so glad you insisted that we wait.”

  “Are you sure?” Linda wrapped her arm around Bree’s waist.

  “Yes. Even though it’s been the three longest and hardest weeks of my life.”

  They stood together in Carolyn’s large living room, a quiet island in the middle of a sea of murmuring locals.

  “Are you ready? It’s getting late.” Bree glanced at her watch. “Sandy promised to have Mother back at Silverado by midnight.”

  “Do you think she’ll turn into a pumpkin if she’s late?” Linda rubbed her way up Bree’s back, massaging it. She loved to tease this woman.

  “There’s no telling what those two might get into if we don’t keep an eye on them. They’ll be forming a coven at the assisted-living place before we know it.” Bree’s eyes were clearer and more full of energy than they’d been in high school.

  “And that would be a problem…how?”

  Carolyn walked over to them. “What are you two dreaming up?”

  “Whatever we can. By the way, thanks so much for hosting this Yule Eve celebration tonight. I wish we could all stay here till sunrise and greet the new year together.”

  Carolyn suppressed a yawn. “Eleven o’clock on a weeknight is way past my bedtime, and I suspect quite a few of the others feel the same way.” She glanced around the room, where the crowd had thinned considerably. “I’m amazed so many people showed up.”

  “Of course, a lot of them thought they were simply here to celebrate Ann and Carl’s recent marriage and Bree’s retirement and official homecoming. They would have been appalled to realize we were celebrating several other events as well.”

  “I think all those people have left, Linda, so we should assemble the coven before half of them fall asleep. Sandy said she plans to keep the ritual very brief tonight.” Carolyn motioned to Sandy, who loudly cleared her throat.

  “Fellow Wiccans and sympathetic others. Once, in California, I attended a Yule ritual on the beach. We all stripped naked and plunged into the freezing surf.”

  “Makes my teeth chatter just to think about it,” someone called out.

  “Yes, my teeth were definitely chattering, but the more we frolicked in the waves, the more alive I felt. I’ll never forget that experience.”

  “So what do you have up your sleeve for us tonight, Sandy? Surely you won’t ask us to try to top that.”

  “Actually, I want to announce another wedding—of two more people we love and respect.”

  Everyone glanced around the room, some with a knowing smile and others with blatant curiosity. Even Ann and Carl had elected to stay, though they stood on the fringe of the group.

  “For several weeks Linda and Bree have been preparing for their union and at the last minute decided to make it official. Come on up here, you two.”

  As she and Bree stood in front of Sandy, Linda felt as if her heart were floating in the cold Pacific. It tumbled, it quivered, it rode the waves until it washed ashore at Bree’s feet.

  Sandy stood before them. “As an ordained minister, I’ll preside at their marriage,” she said.

  Linda took Bree’s hand, which felt as frigid as her own. What was racing through her beautiful head?

  Sandy interrupted her musing. “Linda and Bree have written their own vows, and I promise to be brief.”

  Linda dropped her shoulders a bit when Bree squeezed her hand.

  “Do you two pledge to do your best never to try to hold power over one another, as our society has too often taught us to do?”

  She glanced at Bree and they replied, in unison, “We do.”

  “Do you promise to keep yourselves whole and balanced, to honor the power that exists within you, and to share it with one another freely and gladly?”

  “We do.”

  “Are you willing to talk through every difference of opinion, to try to reach an amicable compromise, and to respect your differences?”

  Linda turned to Bree and gazed at her strong features. Could she trust that Bree had changed enough to honor these vows? Could she trust herself?

  After what seemed like an eternity, Bree said, in a loud, clear voice that emerged at the same time as Linda’s, “Yes, I am.”

  Sandy stared at them as if seeing into all their hidden places. “Now I have one vow for the rest of you to respond to.”

  She addressed everyone in the room. “Do you all promise to support the union of these two women, to consider it sacred, and to defend it if and when others try to demean it?”

  Hearing the voices of family and friends ring out in the affirmative made Linda’s throat seize up. This simple wedding seemed so much more valid and meaningful than her elaborate first one had.

  Sandy stood before them, strong and tall. “On this eve of Yule, the shortest day of the year, and by the power inherent in me, I am happy to confirm that you two women have joined your lives in this most meaningful of ways. May tomorrow be the first of many lengthening days full of growth and love, for yourselves, each other, and those of us who support you.”

  Linda slid a plain gold ring onto Bree’s finger, and Bree did the same for her.

  “When you look at these rings, let them remind you of your connection. I hope you will always be as happy and content as you both deserve. Blessed be.”

  Bree turned to her, beaming, and kissed her, and then the others formed a circle around them. The new ring on Linda’s finger shone as brightly as Bree’s did, and the sincere glow on the faces of all those in the room confirmed and strengthened her union with Bree.

  “Congratulations,” someone called, and everyone echoed the word as the energy seemed to crescendo. Linda felt well and truly married.

  Sarah came up and put her arms around both of them. “My dear daughters. Welcome to the family, Linda. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather see Bree spend the rest of her life with. Now I won’t worry about her starving.”

  They all laughed, and Sarah turned to Bree. “And you, my darling, seem to have finally found who you are and what you want. My dream about you being stuck in the Renaissance makes sense to me now. In fact, I’m giving you two my painting of it as a wedding present.”

  Linda would never forget the way Bree smiled at her mother, even though she’d have to ask Bree about that dream. “Thank you. We’re honored,” she managed to say, in spite of her tight throat. “I could never find a better mother-in-law than you.”

  Sarah scoffed and shifted into her usual no-nonsense voice. “Well, I better go find Sandy. It’s getting late. I’ll probably sleep through breakfast.”

  “She’ll never change, will she?” Bree asked as they watched Sarah herd Sandy toward the door.

  “I hope not,” Linda said. “After all, she produced the best daughter in the world.”

  *

  “Do you think we’re silly for waiting until after we’re married to make love?” Linda asked as they strolled to Bree’s home, arm in arm under the cold December sky.

  Bree stopped and looked up. “Do those stars seem distant and frigid to you?”

  Linda turned her face skyward. “Of course they do. I’d hate
to have to warm my hands by them.”

  “But think about it. Each one is a fiery ball of energy that would incinerate us if we wandered too close.”

  “Agreed. But what’s your point?”

  “This may sound corny, but we might have burned each other up if we’d slept together when we first discovered we were attracted.”

  “You must be a really slow learner, because I discovered my feelings for you fifty years ago.”

  “Ha. Who’s the slow learner? I didn’t get married, have children and even grandchildren, before I realized I loved women.”

  “But I didn’t waste my time flitting from woman to woman like you apparently did. I stuck with my attraction to you all those years. Now top that.” Linda wrapped her arms around Bree.

  “I don’t want to top that. I don’t even want to top you, you wonderful woman,” Bree murmured. “I don’t want to do anything but taste every part of you, smell all your fragrances, touch every inch of your body, and hear your voice as I watch you fall apart.”

  “And you think you can make me do that, do you?” Linda squeezed Bree fiercely.

  “I hope so. If you’ll let me.”

  Linda seemed to melt. “I’ll think about it.” She glanced up. “Look at the moon. It should be full in a few days, probably by Christmas.”

  “That’s how I feel. Almost full.”

  “Anything I can do to help you become completely full?”

  Bree buried her face in Linda’s sweet-smelling hair. “You know there is.”

  “Then why are we standing around out here looking at the moon?”

  “I’m just waiting for you to say the word.”

  Linda’s smile was lazy. “I’ve already said it. I trust you.”

  “Ready to go try out that new queen-size bed I had delivered today?”

  “I’d sleep on the ground in a tent here in the backyard with you.”

  “I think we’d be a lot more comfortable in our new bed, though if you insist…” She pulled Linda toward the garage where the family’s camping gear was stored.

  “On second thought, we’d probably sleep better inside, especially since we plan to wake up to watch the sun rise. Have you set the alarm?”

  Bree kissed her. “I was hoping we’d still be awake.”

  “You never know, given our advancing years.”

  “Ha. I feel younger than ever.”

  “I’ll remind you of that in the morning.”

  “Okay. Ready for your wedding night?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  *

  Linda smoothed her hand over Bree’s arm as they stood in her bedroom. “Here. Let me help you take your sweater off.”

  Linda’s hands burned Bree where they touched her, but she stood rigid, staring into green eyes accented by the earrings she’d bought at the syrup festival. “Two months ago I would never have imagined this scene.”

  Linda circled Bree’s waist with her arm and guided her to the edge of the bed. “And you haven’t thought about it since Thanksgiving, when we first kissed?”

  “No. I’ve tried to during the past few weeks, but I’ve drawn a blank every time,” Bree admitted. “My feelings for you aren’t like any I’ve ever had.”

  “Just let go.”

  Was an alien inhabiting her body? Bree asked herself. They should be stretched out in each other’s arms, kissing like nothing else mattered. But suddenly, everything mattered…too much.

  “Talk to me.” Linda sat close to her on the side of the bed, gazing into her eyes. “Tell me what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling.”

  Bree heaved a great sigh. “I feel as bare as the old willow tree we just walked past. My leaves have fallen, and I’m shivering in the cold.”

  Linda continued to stare at her. “Do you realize how beautiful that tree is, stripped to its essentials, its graceful, unadorned limbs shining in the moonlit sky?”

  “I can’t get past my graying hair, my sagging breasts, and my spreading hips.”

  “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You’re even lovelier now than the first time I saw you. Just in a different way. Believe me.”

  “I want to. But I still have a long way to go before I root out the self-hater inside my head that I’ve always listened to.”

  Linda’s smile made Bree relax a bit. “We all do, especially we older models. Want to fight it together?”

  Bree sighed again. “How do we begin?”

  “Just breathe. Feel the air deep inside you, then push it out. I’ll do the same.” Linda took a deep breath too.

  Bree’s belly expanded, then contracted as the warm air circulated through her.

  “That’s it.” Linda’s voice sounded like it came from far away. “We’re breathing the same air. Sharing it. That’s as intimate as you can get. If you want, we can share any other part of ourselves in the same way. Until you’re completely comfortable with your own body, you won’t be able to share it fully with me. And vice versa.”

  “With all my experience you think I need lessons?” She nuzzled Linda’s neck.

  “I think we all need them.”

  Bree lay back and simply breathed, focusing on each breath. She tried to forget that the woman she hadn’t been able to keep her hands off for the past weeks now lay beside her. She tried to forget everything except the fact that she was exactly where she had chosen, with the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

  She inched her hand across the soft expanse of comforter that separated, no, joined them. She didn’t have to prove anything to Linda or satisfy her in a unique way. She could simply be, and let Linda be, and whatever they did or felt like doing would please them both. She didn’t have to be anything or anyone but who she was at the moment.

  “Better?” Linda whispered as Bree touched her cheek.

  “Much. I’m looking forward to getting to know you, and myself, as fully as possible. Thanks for taking this journey with me.”

  Linda covered Bree’s hand with hers and squeezed. “You’re welcome. Believe me, it’s my pleasure.”

  Bree rolled nearer and lay on her side, propping up her head with her hand. “You mean our pleasure.”

  Linda scooted within kissing distance. “Yes. That’s exactly what I mean.”

  About the Author

  Shelley Thrasher, world traveler and native East Texan, has edited novels for BSB since 2004. A PhD in English, she taught in college for many years before she retired early. She has published poetry, short stories, and essays, as well as one scholarly book. Shelley and her partner Connie, with their two dogs, cat, and parrot, live near Dallas, Texas. Her first novel, The Storm (2012), was a GCLS historical-romance finalist and a Rainbow Awards runner-up for best debut novel. Her second novel, First Tango in Paris (2014), is based on her travels abroad. In Autumn Spring, she returns to her roots in East Texas and creates a world populated primarily by older women.

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