Epiphany

by Ashley Suzanne

  seethe, already feeling my blood pressure rising. I’m going to have to calm down.

  “After you came home, it slipped my mind.” Melissa finds the perfect moment to come back into the room. Maybe if Danny wasn’t so preoccupied with her, he would have remembered to tell me about everything.

  “Slipped your mind that you had a baby living in my body, and it died?” I yell, anger

  pouring out with every word. Skylar’s hands slip down my back and start massaging,

  trying his hardest to get me to calm down. I know him. He’s not going to let me

  go too much longer like this.

  “It’s not like that, Mira. He was confused and didn’t know what to do,” Melissa chimes in. My head whips in her direction at her sudden intrusion.

  “Oh. Thank you for your contribution to this very sensitive topic, Melissa. I wasn’t aware you knew something about my body that I didn’t. I’m very pleased to know that Danny had the balls to tell you and not me. It’s actually very comforting,” I spit, rolling my eyes. If I weren’t pregnant, I’d try to whoop her ass again. This bitch really grates my nerves most of the time.

  “Mira, stop,” Danny says harshly. Me? Stop? Oh, fucker, I’ve just gotten started.

  “You have some …” I start, but am quickly interrupted by Skylar’s who’s none too happy.

  “No, Danny. You fucking stop. Apparently, this is something all of us knew and didn’t

  think to tell her. But you’re not gonna sit here and be a dick to her. That won’t fly,” Skylar pipes in, taking the stress off me for a moment, allowing me to catch my breath.

  “This is a fucked up situation. Mira, I’m sorry. I really am. It wasn’t that I forgot, I just didn’t want to add more to your plate. I thought I was helping. I’m glad

  Skylar told you, though,” Danny says, back peddling, contradicting himself. One second it slipped his mind and the other he didn’t want to add more stress. I know him and Sky had words the other night, but Danny at least held his ground. Now, he’s acting out of character. Intimidation is a weird emotion, I guess.

  “He shouldn’t have had to do it. It wasn’t his baby. That was your job,” I mumble, wrapping my arms around my stomach, praying that I don’t lose this one, too.

  “Skylar, can we get out of here?” I’m done with this. Nothing he says is going to make it any better or easier to deal with. I’d rather just go home and get in bed … where I’m supposed to be anyway.

  “While you guys are here, I have some news,” Danny says, catching us before we’re out of the living room. At the same time, Skylar and I turn around to acknowledge his announcement. “I got the job in New York. I start in a week. My manager, Carrie, said that I’m not needed here anymore and would make a great contribution somewhere else.”

  “Congrats, Danny. I’m happy for you.” I reach out, pulling him into my embrace which he returns.

  I let him go, then walk toward Melissa while Danny and Skylar shake hands. “You’ll

  love New York. I was there once a few years ago. It’s amazing.”

  “Oh, I’m not going,” Melissa says, backing away.

  “I just assumed you’d be going with him. I’m sorry,” I softly say, feeling incredibly awkward.

  “No reason to be sorry. We talked about it and right now isn’t the right time for

  me to leave. We’re not breaking up or anything, but for now, he’s going by himself.”

  I’m not sure I would be okay with that—my man being ten hours away—but to each their own, I guess.

  “We should get together before you leave. Maybe a small party at the apartment or something?” Skylar asks, trying to bridge the gap. He really is such a sweet guy who always

  thinks about everyone and everything. All this understanding when he should just punch Danny in the nose. I know that’s what I want to do, even if I’m putting on this little front for them right now.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’m just gonna spend the time with Mel. We don’t have that much time before I leave and I’m not sure when she can make it out. I appreciate the offer, though.”

  “No problem. Okay, Sweets, let’s get you home. Doctor’s orders.”

  “Doctor? Are you okay?” Danny turns his attention back to me, and if I’ve never felt like

  I was under a microscope, I do now.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I mutter, not wanting to elaborate.

  “She’s pregnant and needs to be in bed,” Skylar says. I instinctually slap him in the gut, wishing he would have just kept his damn mouth shut. I try laughing it off, but the prying eyes don’t lose their focus.

  “Congrats, guys,” Danny says, kind of gloomy and without emotion.

  “Thanks,” I say, turning back to walk out the door. Skylar stays behind a few minutes

  while I wait for him in the car.

  I can’t believe he would say something. After I told him how scared I was, he’s running around telling everyone in the free world. Well, not everyone, but still. This isn’t Danny’s business and Skylar should have respected my feelings. I know he’s excited. I know he wants to shout from the mountain tops. I do, too. What happens if I lose this baby, though? Then what? We have to call all these people he wants to share the news with and tell them. No.

  “Sorry, I didn’t think he would talk my ear off,” Skylar says, angling into the driver’s seat. Nodding to confirm that I’m listening, I keep my eyes forward, not wanting to get into another fight.

  “Mira, talk to me,” he pleads.

  “About what? I told you I didn’t want to tell people and what do you do? Tell Danny. Not cool,”

  I say, exasperated.

  “I can’t help it. I’m excited. You’re carrying my baby and I want everyone to know … especially him,” Skylar admits. How could I have not seen this coming from a mile away? He’s marking his damn territory like a fucking dog. Two pissing matches in one week—what a lucky girl I must be.

  “You’re gonna have to calm down your caveman antics sometime, Sky. I’m with you. I chose you. My heart chose you. It’s over.” I try to make him understand that my not wanting to talk about it has nothing to do with him. But he ignores me all together.

  The remainder of the ride home’s uncomfortably silent—Skylar’s deliberate refusal to speak to me, the absence of even the radio, making the silence feel deafening.

  By the time we make it home, I’m ready to just crawl in bed and sleep the rest of

  the day away. It’s crazy how fast these hormones start to affect you. Once second,

  I’m full of energy, ready to take on the world and then the next, I’m dying for a

  nap. Unfortunately, I promised Kylee I’d call her once I was home, so that’s just

  what has to be done.

  ME – Hey. I’m home. Kinda tired. Can we hang tomorrow?

  KYLEE – u ok?

  ME – yea, just tired. Call u later?

  KYLEE – uh huh, yea, later.

  ME – Ky, plz don’t be mad.

  KYLEE – I’m not, just worried bout u.

  ME – I’m good, I swear. Sky’s takin good care of me.

  KYLEE – he better. Ok. Love u

  ME – Love u 2

  Now that all that business is settled, I can finally just relax. Fluffing a pillow behind my back and pulling out my tablet, I put my feet up on a stack of pillows and rest back into my haven. Opening a book I started a few days ago, I’m just starting to get drawn back into the story when Skylar comes into the bedroom.

  “What time is Kylee coming? I need to take off in the next twenty minutes or so.”

  “She isn’t. I just wanna relax. You can take off now if you want,” I say, not taking my eyes off the words on the screen.

  “Let me call Prowler and ask him to check in on Maddie tonight then. No use in me leaving if you’re gonna be here alone.” Skylar pulls his phone out of his front pocket, kicks off his shoes and starts to dial a number.

  “No. It�
�s fine. I’m just gonna lie here and read anyway. I don’t need a babysitter, babe. I’m a big girl.”

  “I know, I just worry. What if you need me and I’m not here?” I can’t help but giggle. Apparently, in

  Skylar’s eyes, we no longer live in the twenty-first century.

  “Babe. It’s called a phone. I pick it up, dial a number and call you. Then you come home.

  It’s pretty simple and doesn’t sound very difficult.”

  “Okay, smartass. I’ll take off then, but you call me for anything. Anything, Mira. I mean it.”

  “Promise,” I say as he leans over, giving me a sweet kiss and rubbing my belly lightly.

  Ten minutes goes by and I assume he’s gone since I don’t hear anything from the living

  room or kitchen. I’m about to go run a shower when Skylar saunters back through the

  door, carrying a plate of food and a few bottles of orange juice.

  “Figured you’d want to snack later and I didn’t want you to have to get out of bed,”

  he says, setting everything down on my nightstand.

  Looking at the assortment he’s brought me, my heart swells and stomach growls. A

  bunch of sliced up vegetables—celery, broccoli, tomatoes and cucumbers—adorn the platter

  with a small bowl of Ranch dressing in the middle. Regardless of anything stupid

  Skylar’s ever done, or will do, this just proves yet again that he’s the man for me.

  “Babe, you’re the best.” I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck, splattering wet, messy kisses all over his face.

  “I try,” he jokes, rubbing his fingernails on his shirt. Never one for modesty.

  “I’m really leaving this time, though. Do you need anything else?”

  “Nope. This is fantastic. I’m just gonna hop in the shower and lie in bed the rest of

  the night. Thank you for all this. You’re amazing.”

  I stand, grab a towel out of the linen closet and am ready to shut the door. Skylar sneaks up behind me, circles my waist with his arms and lifts me, hugging me tighter than he ever has before. “You are the amazing one,” he murmurs, giving one last squeeze before he puts me down.

  “I love you, babe,” I call after him.

  “Not as much as I love you, Sweets.” With that last statement he’s out the door and

  I’m headed for the shower.

  Adjusting the temperature to heavenly, I step under the flow of the water. Letting

  it rush over me, I begin to wash my body, the pear soap leaving silky smooth skin

  in its wake. As my hands graze over my still flat stomach, I take a little extra

  time massaging the area. It’s hard to imagine what I’ll look like fat with this baby.

  Of course, all of the scary relationship details enter my mind, making my heart beat

  a little faster and my mouth become dry. Will Skylar love me when my hips are wider?

  Am I going to look like a damn tiger who finally got her stripes? Is my body going to be too grotesque for him to want to

  make love to me? Will he stray because of it? What if I have a C-Section? Will

  the scar gross him out?

  Before I can let myself attempt to answer any of those questions, I try to push them

  aside and focus on the positive. He’s going to love this baby, be an exceptional

  father and never make this little person question his love. Those things outweigh

  the negative; I just have to keep reminding myself of that every day.

  In a low, soft voice, I speak to my unborn baby. “You’re already so loved. No matter what happens, you just know that you have a mommy and a daddy that love you more than anything. You stay strong in there baby. I’m out here fighting for you.”

  I rinse my body, wrap myself in a towel and walk into the bedroom. Sneaky Skylar strikes yet again. I thought he left and I was wrong. Sometime after I went in the bathroom, he came back in and laid out a pair of comfortable PJ’s for me, as well as a glass of ice for my orange juice, plugged my tablet in so it wouldn’t die and pushed all his pillows to my side of the bed.

  Climbing onto the huge California king, I take a few bites of the veggies, open a

  good book, turn the TV on for background noise and try not to fall asleep with all

  the comfort surrounding me. If this is what pregnancy is going to be like, I’m sold.

  A little after ten, Skylar comes through the door, carrying an extra large cheese pizza. The rest of the night is spent in bed together. I know it’s going to sound corny, but there’s no other way I would have liked to ring in the New Year. Just Skylar, me and the baby makes it absolutely perfect.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Mira

  The last two weeks has gone by smoother than I would have ever imagined. Still very much pregnant, the doctor says I’m able to resume light activity in short intervals. Between Skylar, Kylee and my mother, I’m never alone and it’s starting to wear on me. Seriously, can’t a girl just have a few hours to herself?

  Danny moved away last week. We tried to convince him again to have a going away party; he still refused, wanting to spend whatever time he had left with Melissa. I can’t fault the guy, but we’ve been his friends for years and I’m going to miss him. He called a few days ago to tell us about his new, swanky apartment in Manhattan. This new company must really value him because I’m sure a view overlooking Central Park can’t be cheap by any means. He also hasn’t mentioned the pregnancy since Skylar spilled the beans, which I’m forever grateful for.

  It seems like that’s all these people want to talk about—Skylar, Kylee and my mom, that is. I can’t get away from it no matter how hard I try. Skylar left me alone on that first night, but every night since then, Kylee’s been here, or my mom. Not that I mind the company, but the constant need to entertain people is grating my last nerve. I just want to … be.

  “You okay in there?” Skylar asks on the other side of the bathroom door. See what I mean? I can’t get away for more than five minutes without someone starting a search party.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” I respond exasperated. God forbid I choose to ignore him, I’ll never hear the end of it. I’m also quite certain that if I didn’t answer, he’d break the door down.

  “Just checking.” Aren’t you always just checking?

  While I finish applying my makeup, I contemplate jumping out of the window, then I realize I’m eight stories up and that probably wouldn’t end well for me or the baby. With one last swipe of mascara, I’m out the door, only to run smack into Skylar.

  “Are you kidding me?” Zero privacy.

  “I was just coming back to ask when you’d be done.”

  “It’s not been two minutes since you last checked on me. I get your concern, I really do, but shit. I just want to be left alone for a minute. Give me some

  time with my own thoughts or something.” I immediately regret snapping when his face

  drops and some of the sparkle in his eyes disappears. He just loves me and wants

  me to be okay. Looking up at the ceiling, I inwardly curse all things hormones.

  “Babe, I’m so sorry. I’m just all over the place. Please don’t hate me,” I beg,

  grabbing the sides of his face, pulling him to look at me, to see my sincerity.

  “I know, it’s just hard. I’ll try not to smother you anymore.” He leans toward me, kisses the tip of my

  nose and nearly drags me into the living room.

  Slipping into a pair of flats and tossing a jacket over my shoulder, I’m ready to

  head out for the evening. With everything going on with the baby, Maddie and regular

  life stuff, we haven’t had a chance for any kind of date. Tonight, though, is a different

  scenario. Both of us have our phones turned off and we’re headed out for a night

  on the town.

  First stop—dinner.

  Opting for valet parking, Skylar hands the
keys over to the attendant. He makes it very clear to the young kid who can’t be any older than eighteen that if there are any scratches on his car, he’s not going to be too happy about it. The kid brushes him off until he sees the ‘Hooliganz’ sticker on the back window and quickly changes his story, speaking clearly and using a lot of ‘sirs’ when addressing Skylar. It’s fucking hilarious.

  The maitre d’ takes us to our table, where we’re immediately met with a smiling, well dressed waiter who’s ready to take our drink order. Unlike many of the restaurants we’ve frequented in the past, this waiter doesn’t even pull out a fancy little notepad to take our order. I’m impressed.

  “I’ll have a diet cola please,” I say, redirecting my attention to the menu that’s filled with just about everything. It all sounds so delicious; I’m salivating over the thought and barely register Skylar not giving his drink request. Peeling my eyes from the menu, I look over it and see Skylar scowling at me.

  “What? If you want to drink, I won’t be upset. Get whatever you want. This is your night, too.”

  “You can’t have diet pop,” he whispers, leaning over the table, like he doesn’t want to embarrass me.

  “Are they out?”

  “The baby books say no diet anything. Not good for …” His eyes scan below my breasts, eyeing my stomach. Not good for the baby? Since when?

  “What the hell are you talking about?” I hiss, apologizing with my eyes to the kind waiter who’s standing impatiently waiting for us to finish our debate.

  “I read one of those books. It says no diet pop. You already had coffee today and

  that’s all the caffeine you’re allowed, too. Maybe just some water?” Christ. He tries to be proactive and be on top of all this baby nonsense and he

  picks to read about the stuff I can’t have.

  “Never mind on the diet, I’ll take a water instead,” I mutter, not very happy with this decision. Water is so … bland. The

  nice guy that Skylar is, he orders a water also, which just pisses me off even more. It shouldn’t, but it does. Just because

  I can’t have something doesn’t mean he can’t. This child is making me insane already—I

  can’t keep my emotions in check to save my life.