Shades of Pink

by 33 authors

  I grunted and pushed myself off the floor before punching him in the arm. “Get out so I can get ready to meet Daddy; we have a trip to the DMV this morning.”

  “Alright, but hurry up, I’m driving you over to his place.”

  “Can I drive?” I begged.

  He ran a hand over his face then mock glared at me, “Fine.” He walked out of the room and I quickly went to work tossing clean clothes on, then throwing stuff I would need for the next month in my duffle bag. The clothes I would bring with me while on the road with them were over in my room at Daddy’s house so I just needed to get a few basics along with my phone charger and iPod. I was finished and out my bedroom door ten minutes later in search of my brother. I was ready to get out of this house and to be Jake again.

  I found him sitting in the kitchen with my mama, sister, Cliff, and his daughter eating breakfast. Of course the one day the day I was finally being allowed to leave this place was the day they wanted to play family. I dropped my bag on the counter and walked over to the empty chair between Ravi and my mama, and plopped down in it. Which got a warning glare from Mama, of course.

  “Happy birthday, Neveah,” she said in her sugary voice.

  “Thank you,” I murmured kicking Ravi under the table and glaring at him.

  He shrugged then kicked me back.

  “Are you all ready to go visit your father?”

  “Yes, Mama.”

  “Mmm,” she said and I saw her face scrunch up in distaste. “Well eat some breakfast.”

  I nodded and began putting fruit and whole wheat toast on my plate; Mama was a stickler for eating healthy. I sighed in my head wishing for once there was bacon on the table, or some other food that I enjoyed eating.

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather stay here?” my mama tried again.

  “I’m sure,” I told her still having a kicking fight under the table with Ravi.

  “Sit still, Neveah,” she ordered.

  “Sorry,” I said then turned to Ravi sticking my tongue out at him.

  “Neveah,” she scolded, “that is not polite behavior, what have you been learning at the cotillion lessons of yours?”

  “Uhm, how not to flash your thong,” I answered and Ravi choked on the orange juice he had been drinking and ended up spitting it all over the table. I giggled, but quickly stopped when Mama glared at me.

  She sighed, “Neveah, I think your time would be better put to use staying here and learning how to behave like the proper young lady you are. I think it’s time that you put this tom boy routine to a rest.”

  I opened my mouth to tell my mama exactly what I thought of her opinion when Ravi quickly jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow.

  “Now Mama, you wouldn’t be thinking of trying to stop Daddy from seeing Jake, now would you?” he asked in a concerned voice.

  “Ravi,” she started.

  “No Mama, you know what he said, if you didn’t give him his equal time with her that he would call the lawyers again. Mama none of us want to go through that again, I know Chloe and I are legal adults now, but Jake isn’t. She needs time with both her parents equally just like the judge said last time.”

  Mama sighed and gave Ravi a tight smile. “Of course, I wouldn’t want to go through all that unpleasantness again.”

  “Thank you, Mama,” he said quietly. “I just hate it when you and Dad fight, it makes it uncomfortable for everyone.”

  She nodded and scowled down at her plate pushing her food around.

  I looked over at my brother a bit flabbergasted at how he handled her, he always handled her and I never understood how he did it. It was a skill I had always wanted to learn, only it seemed I wasn’t capable. All Mama and I did was fight about what I wasn’t—I wasn’t girly enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t as pretty as my sister, Chloe. The only thing I ever was too much of was being like my daddy, or so Mama liked to remind me. What I never understood though, if I was so much like Daddy then why did she fight so hard to keep me around. She had her perfect Chloe who was exactly like her, Ravi who was her golden boy—why did she feel the need to keep me around when everyone knew I would rather be with Daddy anyway?

  Finally, the tense breakfast was over and I was released, or I thought I was until Mama and Cliff called me to follow them. I looked longingly at my duffle bag then the front door before following them. They headed into the garage and I was starting to feel a bit better about what was going on. I watched as they stepped aside with matching indulgent smiles on their faces looking over to the side of the garage. I looked in the direction and found a BMW M3 sitting beside the other status symbols my family called cars. There was a giant pink bow sitting on top of it. I looked back at Mama and Cliff and forced a smile.

  “Is that for me?” I asked trying to make myself sound excited, when in reality I wanted to roll my eyes. My mama really didn’t know me at all if she thought I would want a foreign car, exactly like my sister’s. In fact, upon better inspection, I noticed it was my sister’s—the one they just replaced with a new model M3 for her graduation. The brand new car she had been given for her sixteenth birthday was the gift my mama gave me for mine.

  Mama nodded still smiling, only now it looked a bit forced. “Yes, Neveah, happy sixteenth birthday.”

  “Thank you, Mama, thank you, Cliff,” I replied forcing my own smile.

  “It’s only three years old,” Cliff said not noticing the tension. “We didn’t see the point in buying another new car when we had this one.”

  “It’s great, thanks,” I whispered trying to hide the hurt his words caused me. I mean, it’s not like I wanted a BMW but still it kind of settled where I lay in this family. Every other kid even before Mama and Cliff had gotten married had been given a car for their birthday. Ravi was given his old truck that he and Daddy rebuilt, Chloe was given her BMW that she wanted. Hell, even Cliff’s kids had been given new cars from what I heard. Me, though, I got the hand me down from the sister who ignored my existence.

  “And since you’ll be gone for the month, Neveah, you won’t mind Everett driving it while he’s in town, right?” Cliff asked.

  “No, that’s not a problem,” I murmured.

  “Thanks,” he said patting my shoulder oddly. “Have fun with your father.” Then he turned around and left my mom following close behind.

  “Hey Jake, you ready to go?” Ravi called.

  “Yeah,” I said turning my back on my birthday present ready to get away from Neveah, wanting to become Jake again.

  I walked out of the garage and straight to Ravi wrapping my arms around him tightly.

  “You okay, Jake?” he whispered while hugging me back.

  I shook my head burying my face in his chest. “I just want to go home,” I mumbled.

  “Ok, well let’s go tell everyone bye and head home.”

  Ravi hollered that we were leaving only for Mama to tell him to be safe and to call her soon. Chloe just glared at me while I grabbed my bag. I climbed into the passenger side of Ravi’s truck and pulled my knees up to my chest after buckling the seat belt.

  “I thought you wanted to drive, birthday girl?” Ravi asked quietly after climbing into the driver side.

  I shook my head and let the tears finally come. “I just want to go home.”

  He nodded and started the truck, driving away from the place I lived and towards my home.

  * * *

  We pulled onto the long driveway of the farm and I felt the knot that had been slowly tightening in my chest begin to loosen, I wiped the tear tracks from my face and took a real breath for the first time in a month. I looked over at Ravi and grinned before reaching over and flipping on his stereo, when Drowning Pool started playing I turned the volume up and started singing along. This is where I belonged, the old farmhouse that Daddy still lived in when he wasn’t off traveling the country with his team.

  The place where I had grown up following my brother and sister, where all my best memories started and ended. When Mama st
ill cared about me, Chloe was a doting big sister, and teasing Ravi about the girls he dated, before the divorce. Before Mama changed when Daddy signed the big sponsorship eight years ago, before Chloe started high school and forgot me, before Ravi left to go to college. I wasn’t one of those girls who was deluded about her parents getting back together, in truth I didn’t want that. They didn’t do anything but fight for years; Mama mad that Daddy was gone so often, and Daddy mad about Mama spending so much money. They divorced three years ago, Mama moved Chloe and I in with her and Cliff immediately after she left Daddy. They bought the house a year ago then finally married last year. I still wasn’t sure why they waited as long as they did. It wasn’t like it was a big secret that Mama was cheating on Daddy with Cliff.

  The old white farmhouse came into view after the last turn and I smiled even wider when I saw Daddy standing on the porch waiting for us. As soon as the truck came to a stop, I was out the door running towards my dad. He grabbed me into a tight hug, swinging me off my feet around in circles just like he always has.

  “I missed you,” I mumbled holding him tightly when he finally stopped spinning us around in circles.

  “I missed you too, baby girl,” he murmured kissing my forehead before putting me down. He looked me over and I could see his face pulling into tight lines. “You okay?”

  I nodded, “Yeah, I am now,” I said and smiled, I noticed Ravi shaking his head at my dad from the corner of my eye.

  “Everything okay at your mom’s?”

  I shrugged, “They’re normal.”

  He frowned opened his mouth then closed and looked away before looking back at me a smile back on his face. “Happy birthday, Jake.”

  “Thank you, Daddy,” I squealed.

  “How does it feel being sixteen, feel any different than you did yesterday?”

  He always asked me this question on my birthdays. “Nope, but I hope that will change after our trip to the DMV.”

  He nodded. “We’ll go soon. First, I want to show you your birthday present.”

  The mention of birthday presents made me flash to the car sitting in the garage at Cliff’s house, but I shook it off, I was Jake now, not Neveah. It didn’t matter what Mama thought or did, or that’s what I tried to convince myself. Though as many times as I told myself this it still felt like I was being torn in two at every step, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to do it before I finally split in half.

  I followed Daddy around the house towards his shop that he had built behind the house. “So what did you get from your mom and Cliff?” Daddy asked.

  “Uhm a car,” I mumbled.

  “A car?” he asked sounding surprised.

  I nodded.

  “What kind of car?”

  “Uhm they gave me Chloe’s old BMW,” I muttered looking off towards the trees that surrounded the property.

  “They gave you the car I bought for Chloe to you for your birthday present?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay, what else?”

  “Nothing,” I whispered, “just that and a party at their country club.”

  “Oh,” he murmured looking at me sadly.

  He walked up to one of the garage doors and slowly pulled it open smiling at me. “Happy birthday, Jake,” he said while pushing it all the way open.

  I gasped when I saw what was sitting there. “Oh my god,” I whispered staring. “This is for me?”

  “Of course,” he said looking at me strangely.

  “Daddy, I love it!” I squealed running off towards my present, only to stop quickly, run back to where he was standing kissing him on the cheek before turning around and looking at my present.

  “1970?” I asked and he nodded.

  “You got me a 1970 GTX 440 for my birthday?” I asked in awe then giggled, “And you painted her pink?”

  He shrugged. “It’s your sweet sixteen. The guys and I thought a pink car was the way to go.”

  I giggled again. “I love her,” I said eyeing her over. She needed work, a lot of work and they had painted her a horrid pepto pink with purple flames with what looked to be, “Did you really paint my car with spray paint?”

  He grinned at me and nodded.

  “She’s perfect,” I mumbled. “Does she run?”

  “Uhm no.”

  I nodded. “Thank you so much,” I squealed and ran over hugging him.

  “Same deal as I gave Ravi, I’ll help you fix her up, and I’ll pay for half.”

  I nodded thinking about what I had sitting in my bank account; I had made quite a bit of money racing junior dragsters so I wasn’t worried about getting her up and running.

  “Think we can have her up and running by next summer?”

  “Yeah, we can do that,” he said smiling just as widely as I was. “And the guys want to help.”

  “Yay,” I said squealing once again while bouncing. “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “So you ready to go and get your driver’s license? The guys want to have a small celebration for your birthday this evening then we leave in the morning for California.”

  “Okay,” I said eyeing my car over once again before closing the garage door. I looked over at my daddy smiling, “Let’s go.”

  “Thought you’d take the test in the super bee, since that’s what we’ll be taking with us for you to do your practice laps.”

  I gulped at the thought of being able to drive that car, my daddy’s pride and joy—his 1968 Dodge Super Bee.

  With my newly printed paper license in my hand, I walked around to the back of the house where my dad’s pit crew was cooking on the BBQ grill. When I came into view I was greeted with a chorus of “Happy birthday Jake” then everyone went back to talking shop. I went around hugging each of the guys who were more like uncles to me than anything else. Most had been with my daddy for years now. I had my hair ruffled, was kissed on the cheek, and money slipped into my hand. I spent the evening laughing, talking about plans for my new pink car, and generally having a good time at my party. This was the kind of thing I loved, easy going relaxing atmosphere of friends laughing together. I eventually headed into the house after eating too much food so I could pack to leave the early the next morning.

  “Shawna, what the hell were you thinking?” I heard my dad say from his office at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Oh Erik, it was nothing, you’re overreacting,” Mama said back, I sighed of course they would be having this fight over speakerphone for everyone to hear.

  “You gave our youngest daughter the car I bought our oldest daughter for her sixteenth birthday, after I paid for a new car for her graduation, and I am overreacting?”

  “Yes,” she hissed. “What does she need with a new car?”

  “That’s not the point, Shawna, you hurt her.”

  “Please, like she even cares, and at least she got a car, you spoil her.”

  “She cared and I don’t do anything for her I don’t do for our other kids. You’re the one who treats her differently. She did get a car, the car she wanted, for her birthday from me,” he growled.

  “What?” Mama screeched. “You didn’t talk to me about this.”

  “Just like you talked to me about your gift?”

  “I didn’t need to!” she yelled.

  “Well then neither did I, especially since I paid for your present to her also!” he yelled back.

  I had had enough and quickly ran up the stairs trying to ignore their screaming until I was safely tucked away in my room. I turned my stereo on and cranked up the volume drowning up the yelling I could still hear and went to work gathering clothes for my upcoming trip not letting myself think about what was happening downstairs. I had heard enough of their fights to know the name calling was coming soon, before someone finally hung up on the other.

  After I was packed, I took a quick shower then climbed in to bed, I was ready to go and race.

  * * *

  The next morning we all climbed into the private jet Daddy’s sponsor p
rovided for his use. Well, everyone except the two crew members who were chosen to drive the trailer holding Super Bee, and some extra parts from the main shop up to Ohio. I plopped down in one of the chairs; they were set up in an arrangement so that you could have four people grouped together and a table in the middle. There was also a couch in the back that I was contemplating using to sleep on later when we were allowed to take off our seat belts. Ravi sat beside me curing his arm around me, I laid my head on his shoulder and yawned.

  “Still tired, Jake?”

  I nodded.

  “I heard about Mama, I’m sorry.”

  I shrugged which caused him to laugh.

  “Wake up.”

  “No,” I groaned.

  “After we take off, we’ll get coffee, okay?”

  I nodded, again.

  “Why are you so tired, you went to bed before anyone else?”

  “It’s three a.m. if you failed to notice.”

  “I noticed,” he said laughing at me.

  “Why does she do it?” I asked my brother quietly.

  “I don’t know, she hasn’t always been like this, Jake.”

  “I know, I just miss my mama, you know?”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “So why does she hate me?”

  “She doesn’t hate you, Jake.”

  I looked up at my older brother like he was crazy.

  “She doesn’t hate you, I just think she wants you to be someone else. Someone who doesn’t remind her of life before now, only this is who you are. Regardless of how much she pushes, you push her right back. Chloe doesn’t do that, nor does she want to, she’s happy, she’s finally the princess she always wanted to be. Mama is happy, I think in some screwed up way she’s trying to help you be like them, only she doesn’t see that you’re not, but she will eventually.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No, I don’t think she will. Did you know that the grand sixteenth birthday party she threw for me was actually a client party they had booked for Cliff? They realized at the last moment that it was my birthday and added it to the party by including the kids Mama finds acceptable and their parents to the guest list.”