HOLDING ON (The Destiny Series Book 2)

by Karen Stivali

  They drank their tea in silence. Roger checked his watch. “I should head back to Boston. I have a flight this evening.” He paused. “I’ll be back in the states a bit over the next few months. May I ring you? I’d like to get to know you better. And your children. They’re beautiful, Daniel. You all are. It would mean so much—”

  Daniel cut him off. “Fine. Call. We’ll see.” He knew Marienne would scowl at him for being so curt, but it was all he could manage.

  Roger seemed content with the response. “Good then. I will.”

  Chapter 45

  For Marienne, sitting on the park bench with Roger was the perfect way to spend a spring day. She was grateful he’d kept in touch over the past few months, in spite of Daniel’s reluctance to speak with him. When he’d called to say he would be in Vermont for a show she was delighted. She enjoyed his company and liked that Drew and Ella were getting to know their grandfather. She and Roger had pushed Ella and Drew on the swings together for almost an hour.

  Drew was worn out and had fallen asleep in his stroller, and Ella had started playing in the sand box.

  Marienne looked over at Roger. The kindness in his eyes as he watched Drew sleep was both endearing and heartbreaking. “You’re wonderful with them, you know.”

  He looked surprised. “Thank you. I don’t really know the first thing about being around children.”

  “You’re a natural. Just like Daniel.”

  Roger gave her a wistful smile. “You’re very kind. Daniel certainly does seem to have a way with kids. I imagine he’s an excellent teacher as well.”

  “He is. He’s kind and patient and charming.” She looked down. “With everyone except you.”

  “I do seem to bring out the worst in him, don’t I?” Roger shook his head. “I understand. He had a lifetime to learn to hate me. I’m lucky he’s even tolerating me at all.”

  “He’ll come around.” Marienne wished she was as certain as she made herself sound. “And he doesn’t hate you.”

  Roger’s eyebrows rose.

  “He doesn’t. He’s just having a hard time letting go of what he thought were facts. You’re very likeable.”

  A smile tugged at Roger’s lips. “He’s so lucky he found you.”

  Marienne swallowed the lump in her throat. Other than her chats with Ruth she hadn’t had this type of conversation with an older adult since her father had passed. Roger was so warm and sincere. It broke her heart how hard he was trying to make headway with Daniel. He really wanted a chance to be a part of their family.

  The jingling of the ice cream truck sounded and Ella raced over to Marienne.

  Roger’s eyes twinkled as he looked at her. “May I treat us to a round of ice cream?”

  Marienne invited Roger to join them for dinner, but he begged off, saying he should get back to Burlington as he had early meetings the next morning. She made him promise to call when he was driving back to Boston. She hoped she could get Daniel to agree to have him stop by then.

  Daniel’s car was already in the garage when she pulled into the driveway. The smoky scent of charcoal wafted into the car.

  “Is Daddy home?” Ella asked.

  “Yes, and it smells like we’re grilling tonight.”

  Ella scrambled out of the car and ran around to the back yard. Marienne worked on getting Drew out of his car seat. “Dadadadadada,” he said, waving his teething ring in her face.

  “Yes, Daddy’s home. Daddy’s making dinner. He’s usually a very reasonable man.”

  Drew giggled.

  She carried him into the house and found Daniel in the kitchen rummaging through the fridge. “Where’s Ella?” she asked, strapping Drew into his high chair.

  “On the swings.” He stood up, holding a package of hotdogs and a tray of steak. He leaned forward and kissed Marienne.

  She stroked the side of his face with her fingers.

  “Seems perhaps I should come home and start dinner more often.” He pulled her closer, his lips working their way down her neck.

  “You know I’ve always had a weakness for men holding meat.”

  Daniel chuckled and set the food down on the counter. “Ella said you went to the park?”

  “Uh-huh. We spent the afternoon there. With Roger.”

  Daniel’s face fell. “How did that happen?”

  “He’s in Burlington, for an antique show, for the next two days. I asked him if he wanted to spend the afternoon with us.”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t bring him home for dinner.”

  Marienne sprinkled Cheerios on Drew’s tray. “I asked, but he didn’t think you’d like the idea so he politely declined. I was hoping you’d say we can have him over. He’ll be driving right by our house on his way back to Boston.”

  “How did you even know he was going to be in Burlington? Is he calling you now?”

  “We email, mostly. He doesn’t know anyone here, Daniel. And he’s incredibly lonely. I checked in with him yesterday, and he mentioned that he had the show in Vermont.”

  Daniel busied himself putting the steaks on a plate and digging through the kitchen drawer. “Where are the bloody tongs?”

  Marienne reached into the drawer and handed them to him. She inched closer to him, her fingers massaged the base of his neck. She felt him start to relax. “Are you mad at me?”

  Daniel’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t understand why you’re spending so much time with him, that’s all.”

  “He’s really very nice. You’d know that if you gave him even half a chance. Aren’t you tired of this routine yet?”

  “What routine?”

  She felt the muscles in his neck tighten again. “The tough guy act you put on whenever Roger’s name is mentioned. Can’t you just give him a break?”

  “Why are you so bloody fond of him?”

  “Because he reminds me of you.”

  Marienne handed Roger a cup of tea and curled up on the couch, facing him. She couldn’t get past how much he looked like Daniel. His long, nimble fingers, his high cheekbones, his aristocratic nose.

  Roger caught her staring and his brow furrowed. “Something wrong?”

  “Not at all.” She hesitated, unsure how to say what she wanted. “Do you mind if I ask you a question? It’s personal.”

  Roger paused, tea cup at his lips. “By all means. Ask whatever you’d like.”

  “What was Daniel’s mother like?”

  A melancholy mood washed over Roger’s features, his eyes glazed with a faraway look, as though he were actually seeing her. Marienne waited. She’d heard Daniel talk about his mother and she’d seen a few photos, but she wanted to know more. Roger clearly knew a part of Elizabeth’s life that Daniel hadn’t been privy to—a part that had shaped who she was.

  Roger set his tea cup down on the coffee table and shifted to face Marienne. “She was a spitfire when I first met her. Didn’t seem to need anything from anyone. But as we got to know each other I realized that was all an act. She was gentle and tender. Almost fragile. And incredibly talented. Bright, artistic, an uncanny eye for detail. She was probably the warmest, most generous person I’ve ever met. She had this way about her. When she listened it made you feel like you were the only person on the planet, like you had her complete attention.” Roger’s face clouded and Marienne could tell he was picturing her again. “And she was unspeakably beautiful, though she never seemed to think so. Her hair was long and dark, with auburn highlights, like antique mahogany. And she had the most amazing green eyes. Daniel’s eyes. I see it every time I look at him. The same disdain, as well.” Roger returned his attention to his tea cup, reaching for it with a shaky hand.

  “I’m sorry. Is this too difficult? I don’t mean to pry.”

  “No, don’t be silly. I’m the one who’s insinuated himself into your family, you’ve every right to question me to your heart’s content. What else would you like to know?”

  “I don’t know. I just know she was such a huge part of Daniel’s life, and
he still carries her loss with him. I want to know anything you can tell me.”

  Roger paused, as if he were sorting through his memories, trying to find the right ones to share. “She used to write these amazing letters. I’d have to travel a lot of the time, for work, and I’d arrive at the hotel and find a letter already waiting for me. She’d tell these fanciful stories, or she’d describe her day to me, or include a drawing. I’d settle into my room and read them and it was like she was right there with me. They were magical.”

  “That sounds lovely. And quite romantic.”

  “It was. I always wrote her back. Though I fear my attempts at romance likely paled in comparison. When we’d see each other again, nothing mattered. We only wanted to be together. I imagine that sounds horrible, given that I was married at the time.”

  Marienne shook her head. “Actually, it sounds rather easy to relate to. I know what it’s like to be married to the wrong person. I take it your marriage wasn’t very good?”

  “Dreadful. We married far too young and had absolutely nothing in common. By the time I met Elizabeth it was already long over, but Claudia didn’t want to hear it. She was too busy with her ladies luncheons to be bothered with getting a divorce. Elizabeth was really the only woman I’ve ever been in love with. She was everything to me. Apparently I never made that clear enough to her, and for that I’ll always have regret.”

  Marienne could see the pain in his eyes. She reached for his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you.” That could have been us. A chill ran up Marienne’s spine.

  “No, they didn’t. Star-crossed. Not meant to find our way together. I only wish I’d known she was with child. I’d have tried so much harder. I didn’t realize. I thought she was through with me.”

  “It’s so sad.” Marienne felt the tears welling behind her eyes.

  “Yes, well. I think she managed to make a good life for her and Daniel. He certainly seems to have fond memories of his childhood. She was obviously an excellent mum. I can’t speak to her mothering skills but she was fiercely protective of Daniel since before he was born. I realize now that the last two times I saw her, she was carrying him. If there were any physical changes to her, I was too distraught to notice. She was tiny, you know. No more than five foot. Around your height.”

  Marienne smiled. “I didn’t know that.”

  “You’re actually quite a bit like her. It’s no wonder Daniel fell in love with you.”

  “That’s interesting, because his first wife was the complete opposite. Tall, blonde, gorgeous, and not a nurturing bone in her body.”

  “Well I suppose that explains why he’s no longer with her. And why he’s so completely in love with you.” Roger’s eyes twinkled at her. He set his tea cup down again. “You know, I don’t blame Daniel for being so protective of you and the children. He has a wonderful life here with you, and I can understand why he’d want to go to any length to defend that.”

  “But you’re not a threat. I wish he could see that.”

  “I threaten his memories. If he believes what I say then he has to shelve some of the things he believed as absolutes about his mother. That has to be difficult. Particularly when she’s not here to discuss it all.”

  “I know.” Marienne plucked the edge of a throw pillow. “I also know what it’s like to miss a parent. My father passed years ago, and my mother and I don’t speak. I don’t want Daniel to give up on the chance to have a father in his life. And I like having you around.”

  A smile spread across Roger’s face, crinkling his eyes. “That’s very kind of you.”

  “It’s not kind. It’s selfish. You’re wonderful company.”

  “The feeling is mutual.”

  Chapter 46

  When Daniel saw Roger’s name in his inbox he almost deleted the email without reading it. Just seeing the message sitting there made him angry. Why can’t he leave me alone? Curiosity got the better of him, and he opened it.

  He raked his hand through his hair, then started to read.

  Dear Daniel,

  I’m sure the last thing you want right now is a letter from me, but I feel like I have no other means of communicating with you. I understand your hesitance to trust me, but I wish you would give me more of an opportunity to get to know you. You don’t have to like me, I’m not asking that, I just want the chance to get to know you better.

  I’ll be heading back to England in a month and I don’t know when I’ll be back in the States again. The past 30 years have been a series of missed opportunities for me. I’d hate for this to be another one. You can reach me by phone at any time, or I’d gladly meet you anywhere you’d like. I don’t want you to feel as though I’m always intruding in your home. Please consider it and let me know.

  Best regards,

  Roger

  Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. He doesn’t get it. I’m well aware of the fact that I can call him whenever I’d like. I choose not to. Can’t he take a bloody hint?

  He heard Marienne walking down the hall and closed the email screen before she could see who the message was from. He was tired of having her try to convince him to ‘do the right thing.’ This was his decision. If he wanted to talk to Roger he knew where to find him. He didn’t.

  Marienne held out a mug of tea and Daniel took it, feeling guilty that he’d rushed to close the email. She hadn’t even glanced at his computer screen.

  She curled up in the cushiony chair next to his desk, cradling her cup in her hands. “Are you writing?” she asked.

  “No, checking emails.”

  “Anything interesting?”

  Does she already know? “Nothing in particular.”

  She squinted at him.

  He never could lie to her. He dug his hands through his hair again. “I had a message from Roger.”

  “What did it say?” She looked so hopeful. Why does she care about him so much?

  “That he’s heading home soon, and he’d like to talk to me before he goes.”

  Marienne opened her mouth then closed it.

  “What?” he asked.

  “I don’t want to argue.”

  “Neither do I.”

  She took a deep breath then blew on her tea. He knew she had something to say, and it bugged him that she wasn’t coming out with it.

  “What?” he asked, feeling more impatient.

  “I really think you should at least sit down with him for an afternoon. That’s all. Get to know him, just a little. Then if you still hate him, fine.”

  Daniel rubbed his forehead.

  Marienne reached out and put her hand on his knee. “I don’t want you to wind up with regrets.”

  “I don’t think I’ll regret not getting to know a man who’s never meant anything to me.”

  The Roger issue plagued Daniel for the next several days but he had more pressing matters at hand, including another trip to California. He headed home from work hoping to pack and have a moment to relax with Marienne before he left.

  He opened the door to his house and froze. There, in the kitchen, stood Bob, plaid covered arms wrapped around Marienne. She was on tiptoe, leaning toward him, her tiny hands white against his shirt. She was hugging him back. Daniel dropped his bag and strode toward them.

  “Get off my wife.”

  Bob and Marienne jumped apart, looking startled.

  “Daniel.” Marienne’s voice sounded shocked but Daniel didn’t look at her.

  He couldn’t take his eyes off Bob. “You should go.”

  “Look, I’m sorry.” Bob raised his hands.

  “Good. You should still go.” Daniel’s heart was beating so loud he could barely concentrate.

  Marienne stepped between them and put her hand on Daniel’s arm. “You’re being ridiculous,” she said.

  “Am I?’ he asked, staring straight into Bob’s annoyingly pale eyes.

  “No,” Bob said. “You’re right. I should go.” He backed up, grabbing
his keys off the kitchen counter.

  Daniel stalked after him toward the front door, trying to resist the urge to slam him into the wall.

  Bob stepped onto the deck. “Katie, come on. Time to go.”

  Katie ran over to their car. “Daddy, can I stay longer?”

  “No, honey, we need to get going. Say goodbye to Ella.” Bob looked at Daniel. “I’m sorry.” He walked down the porch steps and climbed into his car.

  Ella waved and continued drawing on the driveway. “Do I have to come in yet?”

  “No,” Daniel said. “Just stay on the driveway. Don’t go near the street.”

  “Okay, Daddy.” She went back to her chalk while Bob’s car pulled out and drove away.

  Daniel turned to find Marienne glaring at him, arms crossed in front of her, hip defiantly jutting to one side. “What is wrong with you?”

  “What’s wrong with me?” I can’t believe this. “I come home and find you standing in my kitchen hugging bloody fucking Bob, and you’re asking what‘s wrong with me?” His nostrils flared with indignation. He was wishing he had punched Bob when he’d had the chance. He turned and stormed up the stairs.

  Marienne scurried up the stairs after him, following him into their bedroom.

  He stopped and whirled around to face her. She almost crashed into him. Her mouth was still set in defiance.

  “Why don’t you see it?” he asked.

  “See what?” Her brow furrowed atop her narrowed eyes.

  “The way he is with you. The way he looks at you. He’s in bloody love with you.” The words hurt as they came out. What if she does see it? What if she likes it?

  “That’s crazy. He’s not in love with me. He’s a friend.”

  “I think I know Bob a bit better than you in this regard. He’s wanted you since you first met him. Trust me. I know what that feels like.” It stung to admit that, to remember what it had felt like to be in love with Marienne when she belonged to someone else. He’s a friend. Well I used to be just a friend too. Anger and fear boiled up inside him, rising in his throat. “You’re wrong.” Marienne shook her head.