Another Man's Wife

by Dallas Schulze

  But lately he’d started to think that maybe twenty years was long enough to punish himself. Maybe, just maybe, one disastrous mistake didn’t have to mean spending a lifetime without a home and family.

  But Danny didn’t need five minutes of psychoanalytic garbage. He needed a simple answer, as close to the truth as Gage could offer.

  “Your mom and I aren’t planning on getting married,” he said, choosing his words carefully.

  “So you’re not going to be my dad?” There was no mistaking the disappointment in Danny’s voice.

  “There aren’t any plans in that direction,” Gage told him. “But I’ll tell you what, if things change, you’ll be the first to know. Okay?”

  Danny hesitated a moment and then nodded. “Okay.” It might not have been the answer he’d been hoping for, but as long as his small world was still intact, he wasn’t going to get upset about things he only half understood.

  Gage stood before reaching out to ruffle Danny’s hair. “See you in the morning.”

  “Good night, Uncle Gage.” Danny slid his legs under the covers and lay back against the pillows.

  “Good night, kiddo.”

  Gage turned away from the bed and found himself face-to-face with Kelsey.

  From her expression, it was clear that she’d heard enough of his conversation with Danny to be upset. He caught only a glimpse of eyes before she moved past him, but it was enough for him to see the glitter of tears. He hesitated a moment before continuing on his way out of the room, leaving her alone with Danny.

  * * *

  When Kelsey left Danny’s room, she knew just where to find Gage. Even without the scent of brewing coffee to guide her, she’d known that Gage would be in the kitchen. It was funny how so many of the most important conversations in her life seemed to take place in the kitchen, she thought as she eased her son’s bedroom door almost shut. There was probably some profound reason for that, something to do with the kitchen being the heart of the home or some deep-rooted tendency to see food as a source of comfort during a crisis. Or maybe it was as simple as the fact that the coffeemaker was in the kitchen.

  Not that she gave a damn why so many of life’s most important moments occurred in the kitchen, she thought. It was just that it gave her something to think about other than wondering what she was going to say to Gage. Or worse, what he was going to say to her. As it happened, his first word was innocuous enough.

  “Decaf,” he said as she stepped into the kitchen. He barely glanced at her before going to the cupboard and getting out a pair of cups. She noticed that he was favoring his injured leg, his limp more pronounced than it had been for the past couple of days.

  “You’re spending too much time on that leg,” she said. “Let me get the coffee.”

  “I’m okay,” he said, then caught her eye. Though she would never have believed it possible, they were suddenly smiling at each other. “You get the coffee,” he conceded. Waving his hand in the direction of the machine, he limped to the table and sat down, stretching his leg out in front of him.

  “Is it healing all right?” Kelsey asked as she poured coffee into the cups and carried it to the table. “Should you see a doctor?”

  “It’s fine.” He caught her skeptical look and grinned ruefully. “Really. It just aches a little in the evenings.”

  “That wouldn’t be because you overdo it during the day, would it?”

  “Nah.”

  She shook her head as she sat down across from him and reached for the sugar bowl. “You’re as stubborn as Danny.”

  Just that quickly, the air was full of tension. The mention of Danny had effectively banished the calm facade. There was a long moment of silence, broken only by the clink of Kelsey’s spoon against the side of her cup as she stirred sugar into her coffee.

  “I won’t have Danny hurt,” she said, as if continuing a conversation they were already having.

  “I agree. Danny’s happiness is important to me, too.”

  “I think you should move out.” She hadn’t planned on saying it, not now, anyway. Looking at Gage, she saw the impact of the words in the way his jaw tightened, his eyes going blank for a moment as if with shock.

  “Why?”

  “I think it’s best,” she said, keeping her voice level with an effort. She wanted to shout at him that it was obvious why he had to move out. He’d been right all along; they couldn’t go back to the way things had been. He couldn’t even begin to guess just how impossible going back really was.

  “If it’s about this afternoon, I don’t think he was overly traumatized by seeing us kiss,” Gage said slowly.

  “Of course it’s about this afternoon,” she snapped. She dropped her spoon on the table with a sharp clank. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe seeing us kiss isn’t such a big deal. But it brought up questions in his mind. And if he sees us kiss again, it’s going to bring up more questions.”

  “So you figure, if I move out, you’re not going to have to deal with those questions.” Gage’s tone was careful and so reasonable that Kelsey wanted to hit him. “Maybe it will solve the problem for now, but what about in the future?”

  “I’m not worried about the future.” Not when the present was already so ridiculously complicated.

  She stood, pacing across the kitchen to stare out the window over the sink. She could see the arch of the greenhouse outlined against the night sky. She’d been so excited about seeing it finally in place, getting up at three in the morning just to savor the reality of it. She felt a momentary hatred of it, remembering how that evening had ended, thinking how complicated her life had become because of it. If she hadn’t bought the damned greenhouse...

  But that was stupid. She hadn’t slept with Gage because of the greenhouse. She’d slept with him because she wanted to. Still did, God help her.

  “I’ll deal with the future when it happens,” she said, turning to look at him. “Right now I’m only concerned with the present and I think it would be easier for all of us if you moved out. Obviously you can still see Danny, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for the two of us to be living in the same house.”

  Gage said nothing for a long while. He sat with his hands cupped around his coffee mug, his blue eyes searching as they looked at her. Kelsey did her best to maintain a calm facade beneath that look but she could feel herself starting to crack into a hundred different pieces.

  “Running isn’t going to change anything, Kelsey,” he said just when she was sure the silence was going to go on forever. “I’ll move out if that’s what you want. But I don’t think it’s going to make it any easier on you or on Danny. There’s something between us. I don’t know what it is yet but I don’t think it’s going to do any good to pretend it doesn’t exist.”

  Kelsey stared at him. He was right, of course. There was something between them, something real and vital that she hadn’t been able to ignore or forget. Damn him for making her face it. But there was more wea- riness than anger in the thought. Because even without this...whatever it was between them, there was still one unbreakable tie. One he didn’t even know about yet.

  It suddenly struck her as hilariously funny that Gage was trying to make her see the bonds between them when he didn’t even know just how powerful those bonds were. She laughed abruptly, the sound holding more than a hint of tears.

  “Kelsey?” Gage rose and started toward her, his eyes full of concern.

  “I’m okay.” She waved one hand to hold him off and drew a deep breath, fighting the urge to just keep laughing, knowing she wasn’t that far from complete hysteria. “Sorry. It just struck me as funny.”

  “What did?” He eyed her uneasily, and Kelsey couldn’t suppress a weak giggle.

  “You telling me that there are ties between us. You don’t even know the half of it.”

  “I don’t?”

  “I was going to tell you anyway but not until after you’d moved out.” She sighed. “I don’t know why I thought you should move out first.
It isn’t like it’s going to change anything. Whether you’re here or not, the rabbit still died. Not that they actually use a rabbit anymore.” She frowned. “At least I hope they don’t use a rabbit.”

  “What rabbit?” He took hold of her shoulders, his grip a little too tight.

  Kelsey looked up at him, feeling utterly calm. She’d been dreading this for weeks, but now that the moment was here, she felt almost detached from what was happening. Poor Gage. At least she’d had time to deal with it.

  “What rabbit, Kelsey? Tell me.”

  “I’m pregnant. I’m going to have your baby.”

  Chapter 14

  Gage couldn’t have released Kelsey faster if she’d suddenly burst into flame. He took a quick step back, his eyes locked on her face.

  “You can’t be,” he said hoarsely.

  “I am.” Now that the words were out, Kelsey felt an enormous sense of relief. It was done. No more secrets, no more lies. “The baby is due in late February.”

  “We used birth control,” he said, as if that proved that she had to be wrong.

  “The only birth control that’s one hundred percent effective is abstinence,” she pointed out dryly.

  “I...God, I don’t know....” He thrust his fingers through his hair. His eyes had the dazed look of someone in shock. “I never thought of this.”

  “Neither did I, but the symptoms are unmistakable.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “My doctor confirmed it.”

  “My God.” He ran his fingers through his hair again. His face was pale. He shook his head, his eyes suddenly focusing on her. “Are you all right? What does the doctor say?”

  “I’m fine. And the doctor says I’m pregnant.”

  “Funny,” he said without a trace of humor. “You know what I mean.”

  Obviously this was not the time for witty remarks. Kelsey shrugged, her mouth twisting in a half smile. “Everything is fine. I’m healthy. It looks like a perfectly normal pregnancy.”

  * * *

  Normal? That wasn’t the word Gage would have used. Incredible, maybe. Unbelievable, definitely. Stunning, absolutely.

  “Good.” His eyes dropped to her stomach, and he stared at it as if he could see through the fabric of her jeans to the child she carried. “A baby. I can’t believe it,” he murmured, speaking to himself more than Kelsey.

  He felt as if he’d just been kicked in the gut, as if his entire life had just been picked up, thoroughly shaken and then set back down, leaving him to deal with an entirely new world order.

  A baby. A baby had never entered into his thinking. He’d just wanted to persuade Kelsey that they couldn’t walk away from whatever was between them without taking some time to... Time.

  “You must have known for quite a while,” he said abruptly. “When did you plan on telling me?”

  “I don’t know.” Kelsey shrugged and moved away from the counter, walking to the table. “I don’t think I had any plans. I’m still getting used to the idea myself.”

  “I can understand that.” Gage couldn’t imagine ever getting used to the idea.

  A baby. His baby. His and Kelsey’s. He felt a tiny surge of something that could have been excitement. A baby. No matter how many times he repeated it, he couldn’t quite make it real.

  He was going to be a father. Gage waited for the panic he should have felt at that thought. It was there but it wasn’t the overwhelming fear he’d have thought he’d feel. Somewhere over the past few weeks, he’d started to let go of the old fears, started to look to the future rather than the past.

  But there was a lot more to consider than how he felt. He limped over to the table and sank into a chair across from Kelsey. She was trailing her finger through a small spill of sugar on the tabletop.

  “Do you plan on having the baby?” It was an effort to keep his tone even, revealing nothing of what it cost him to ask that question.

  “Are you asking if I’ve considered abortion?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought about it.” She kept her attention on the aimless movement of her finger, as if the pattern she was creating in the tiny crystals of sugar was of utmost importance. “I can’t do it. It’s not right for me. I’m sorry if that’s what you were hoping would happen but I just can’t do it.”

  “Kelsey.” When she didn’t look at him, Gage reached across the table and caught her hand in his, holding it until she finally lifted her eyes to his face. “I don’t want you to have an abortion. I want this baby.”

  Saying the words made him realize how true they were. He did want this baby, wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. Kelsey’s eyes searched his, as if weighing his sincerity. Whatever she saw there must have reassured her, because he could feel an easing of the tension in her.

  “Me, too,” she said quietly. “I want it, too.”

  “Good.” Gage squeezed her hand before releasing it. He sat back in his chair. He longed to know if the fact that it was his child had anything to do with her wanting it, but he decided not to risk asking a question, the answer to which he’d almost certainly not want to hear.

  Kelsey was surprised by the relief she felt at having told Gage the truth. No doubt her mother could have quoted some adage about the hazards of keeping secrets or maybe something about weaving tangled webs, but adage or no, it felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her. Gage knew. No more hiding. No more pretending. No more worrying that he’d look at her and somehow know the truth.

  Besides, now that Gage knew about the baby, she didn’t feel so alone. That was something she hadn’t expected but maybe she should have. For the past four years, Gage had been the person she’d counted on the most, the one she’d always been able to turn to for help. More often than not, he’d realized what she needed before she did herself.

  “Obviously Danny doesn’t know,” Gage said quietly.

  Kelsey felt an abrupt return of her earlier tension. “No.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I’m going to say to him, how I’m going to explain it.”

  “We’ll tell him the truth.”

  “The truth?” Kelsey’s laugh held no humor. “That we slept together and now his mother is pregnant by a man other than his father?”

  If she’d been less absorbed in her own guilt, Kelsey might have noticed the way Gage flinched back as if her words dealt an actual physical lash. But she wasn’t looking at him. Her gaze was turned inward as she wrestled with her own demons.

  Gage didn’t need psychic powers to know what was on her mind. She was thinking that this should have been Rick’s baby, that it should have been Rick sitting here, sharing this joyous piece of news with her. He felt a sudden, fierce resentment of the other man, followed by an immediate surge of guilt. What was wrong with him? Rick had been his best friend. He’d grieved as deeply as anyone when he died. He had to have lost his mind to be resenting him now.

  “We’ll tell Danny that we made love and now you’re going to have a baby,” Gage said with a calm he was far from feeling. “He’ll accept that, as long as neither one of us makes a big deal out of it.”

  “I suppose you’re right. If we treat this as a normal, everyday event, he probably won’t have a problem with it.” She laughed abruptly. “I guess having a baby is a normal, everyday event. It just wasn’t exactly what I’d had in mind for the next six months.”

  Kelsey rubbed her fingers across her forehead, and Gage was suddenly aware of her pallor, of the dark smudges under her eyes. He felt a rush of concern. She was obviously exhausted. It wasn’t much past nine o’clock, but it hadn’t exactly been an uneventful day. And hadn’t he heard somewhere that pregnant women were supposed to need more sleep than usual?

  “Why don’t we call it a day,” he said quietly. “You look like a strong wind would blow you right over.”

  “We haven’t settled anything,” she said, but it was a weak protest at best. “There are still decisions to make.”

  �
��We’ll make them tomorrow.” He gave her a twisted smile. “I could use a little time to get used to this whole idea anyway.”

  “I guess there’s no rush,” she said slowly.

  “Nothing that has to be decided in the next eight hours. Why don’t you get some rest? And don’t worry. Everything is going to work out.”

  When he said it, she could almost believe it, Kelsey thought. She pushed herself to her feet, suddenly almost sick with exhaustion. Not even ten o’clock, and yet it felt as if this day had already encompassed far more than twenty-four hours. She hesitated, unable to shake the feeling that there should be so much more to be said.

  It didn’t seem possible that the moment she’d been dreading had come and gone. Gage knew about the baby. There’d been no terrible scene, no fireworks, no explosion of rage or denial. He’d taken the news more calmly than she’d ever imagined. Although now that she thought about it, she wasn’t sure just what it was she’d expected him to do. As well as she knew him, why had she expected anything other than what had happened?

  She paused in the doorway, turning to look at him. For a moment, she thought his expression was painfully bleak, but it must have been a trick of the light because when he saw her watching him, he immediately smiled. She wanted to say something, to tell him...tell him what? Kelsey didn’t even have the words to express the jumble of emotions inside her. She settled for the obvious.

  “Good night.”

  “Good night, Kelsey.”

  She hesitated a moment longer, caught by the feeling that there was so much more to be said. But she was too tired to think of what it might be. With a slight shake of her head, she left the kitchen, leaving Gage sitting alone at the big table.

  * * *

  Gage hadn’t had any particular destination in mind when he began driving. He’d just wanted some time away, time to think. His Corvette, which was stored at his mother’s house when he was out of the country, had been sitting in the driveway, courtesy of Cole, who’d brought it over a few days before.

  He’d spent the night staring at the ceiling, his mind racing, reeling from the idea that he was going to be a father, to the question of how Kelsey really felt, to what Danny was going to think of the whole situation. He’d fallen asleep somewhere near dawn and awakened a few hours later, feeling as if he hadn’t slept at all.