The Longing Within (Desire for Discipline Book 3)

by Kole, Isabella

  After what seemed an eternity, he returned. She turned to look at him and saw that in his hand was the paddle Janis had given her. It didn’t seem like such a gag gift at the moment, it seemed very real and very scary.

  “Did you think about what you did?” he asked.

  “Y…yes…” she stammered in a quivering voice.

  “I’m sorry it has come to this. We made a decision together to separate work and home. If we go against that decision, it will be the beginning of the breakdown of the kind of life we agreed upon in the home. You understand that, don’t you? I don’t take work calls at home anymore. If there is an emergency situation, I always advise you of it before I take it. I don’t sneak off when your back is turned, now do I?” he asked.

  “No,” she replied in a voice barely above a whisper.

  “Stand up straight,” he commanded softly. “I’m going to paddle you ten times. I want you to count with me.”

  The first sting of the hard wooden paddle shocked her and she jumped. “Count,” he repeated.

  “One,” she said as she steeled herself for the second swat. Whoosh! The sound of the implement echoed through the air as she said, “Two.”

  With each slap of the wood against her bare skin, she could feel the tender skin getting hotter and hotter. When eight swats had been dealt, he stopped and put his arms around her. “Two more, and then we’re done,” he whispered in her ear. She stood up straight and took the rest of her punishment like a trooper. She wasn’t going to let him see her cry. She’d disobeyed the one important rule he had laid down when they became man and wife. She would take her spanking and she would take it with pride, no matter how humiliated she felt at that moment.

  The ninth swat smarted something fierce. She nearly asked him to stop, but her pride wouldn’t allow it. Her ass was on fire, but something else was heated as well. She felt the trickle of moisture between her legs and silently cursed her own body for betraying her.

  “Count, Lyndsey,” John said.

  “Ten,” she said in a loud, clear voice just before the final smack of the paddle made contact with her sore bottom.

  She heard the paddle fall to the wooden floor and John’s arms were around her. Is this what they call aftercare? He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He took a tube of aloe gel from the table beside the bed and rubbed it gently on her flaming cheeks. The coolness of the gel against her hot buttocks felt good. Relief flooded through her. Not only did the aloe help the pain, but John was no longer angry with her. He pulled her into his arms and held her close, rocking her back and forth.

  “Sweetheart, I hope I don’t have to resort to punishing you often, but some things I just won’t tolerate and you knew that.”

  “I didn’t think it would matter. I was just going to check the email and be done,” she explained in her defense.

  “I know you’re stressed about this takeover. I know that things are uncertain about your position. I get that, I honestly do, but all you had to do was wait a few more minutes and let me know you needed to check your email. That’s all you had to do.”

  “Things may change after Darwood takes over. I may have to work late nights at times, I don’t know. I have no idea what they will expect.”

  “If you do, we’ll deal with it. But, when you don’t have to, the office should be left at the office. We both agreed to that.”

  “Yes, Sir,” she said in a serious tone.

  “Lyndsey, you don’t have to call me Sir. We’ve already established that,” he reminded her.

  “It seemed fitting,” she replied, raising her face to his.

  And then he kissed her. It was a gentle, loving kiss, the kind that is given to reassure a woman and let her know she is loved unconditionally. A kiss to tell her that even though she had displeased him, he would never stop loving her with all his heart, it was a kiss meant to tell her that she was his and he would do anything to keep their happy home life.

  “Go, get ready for bed. I’ll brew some tea for you,” he said when he broke the kiss.

  She snuggled in his arms a short time later and sipped the hot brew he’d made. Hot Earl Gray with honey and lemon, just the way she liked it. He knew her so well. She fell asleep in his arms once more, secure in the knowledge that he would always be hers.

  Chapter Thirteen

  On Friday morning, Lyndsey left early for the office. She wanted to get in and get some things accomplished before the editor from Darwood made her appearance. There would most likely be a meeting and a lot of things would be discussed. She was anxious to see the changes Darwood had in mind for their little company.

  “Have a good day, baby,” John said as he kissed her goodbye. “I’m right behind you.”

  He walked out to the garage with her and waved as he backed his car out first. She sipped her travel mug full of coffee as she made the commute. Traffic wasn’t quite as heavy as usual due to the early hour and for that she was grateful. It allowed her to arrive in short time. She unlocked the door as she was the first one in that morning and immediately went to her office. She put on a pot of coffee in the lobby and started going through her emails. By the time she’d finished answering the most important ones and had poured a cup of coffee, others began trickling in, one by one. Mr. Starr stopped by her office door and stuck his head in. “Good morning, Lyndsey.”

  “Good morning, Mr. Starr. Your retirement is getting closer, any big plans?” she asked pleasantly.

  “The wife and I are taking a long-awaited cruise. After that, we’ll play it by ear. It’ll be nice to be able to just pick up and go whenever we want.”

  “Ah, but you’ll miss the conferences, won’t you?”

  “We may show up at a few of them, just not in a working capacity. You’ll likely see us at some of the bigger ones. Have a good day.”

  “You too,” she said as she picked up her coffee mug.

  Joanne stopped by a few minutes later. “I talked to Blake this morning. He’s been after me to come out for a visit. Do you think you and John would like to go?”

  “We did talk about that when Blake was here, didn’t we? I’ll mention it to John over the weekend. Are you ready to meet our new boss today?”

  “I guess so. I’m going to have to be ready, aren’t I? There’s no getting around it. Maybe she’ll be nice.”

  Lyndsey smiled. Joanne didn’t seem to be quite so negative these days. Maybe Blake was having a good influence on her attitude. Kudos to him if that was the case.

  Joanne went on her way and Lyndsey shifted in her chair. Her bottom still smarted occasionally from the paddling she’d received from John if she sat in the same position for too long of a time, another reminder to her to listen to him when he asked her not to do something.

  A little after ten, she received a call from her assistant telling her that the editor from Darwood had arrived and was calling a meeting in fifteen minutes in the conference room. Wow, she doesn’t waste any time, she thought as she went to the mirror to check her appearance.

  A few minutes later she made her way down the hall to meet with the others. Joanne was already there and had saved a seat for her. As she slid into the seat, she whispered, “I wonder what she’s going to say.”

  “It’s hard to tell. I texted Blake and told him you guys might make the trip with me.” Joanne seemed so unconcerned about the pending meeting that Lyndsey was taken aback by it.

  A few minutes later, a polished, sophisticated woman entered the room. She was carrying some files and walked to the place at the head of the conference table. She looked around the table and smiled before she began to speak.

  “Good morning, my name is Cassandra Lewis. I’m the editor-in-chief with Darwood Publishing and now that Starlight has become a part of the Darwood family, I’ll be working very closely with some of you. I know you’ve all been curious as to what changes we’ll be making once we take full control, which will be next week. Let me start out by saying your jobs as editors will most likely
be similar to the routine you now use. I’ll meet with each one of you individually throughout the course of the day to discuss things with you and answer any questions you may have. Although I work out of the main headquarters in New York, I’ll be popping in from time to time to check on things here and, of course, you can always reach me via email or phone. Now, that being said, I’ll let all of you get back to your work and as I said, I’ll make my rounds to your offices throughout the day, beginning with Joanne Rankin. Joanne, I’ll meet you in your office in five minutes. I’m going to grab a cup of coffee first.”

  “I’ll be waiting for you, Ms. Lewis,” Joanne replied sweetly. When Cassandra left the room, she whispered to Lyndsey, “Great, I get to be first.”

  Lyndsey laughed it off. “At least you’ll get it over with. The rest of us have to wait for Her Highness to make time for us. I’m not so sure I like her attitude, she seems very unapproachable to me.”

  “Now who’s being the negative one? I’ll catch up with you later. Maybe we can do lunch.”

  “Later,” she said as she stood up.

  She waited in her office for what seemed like an eternity, when actually it was only thirty minutes later when her new boss knocked on her door. She got up and opened the door to let her in.

  “Please, have a seat, Ms. Lewis.” She pointed to the chair across from her desk.

  “I’ll be brief, Mrs. Gordon. I wanted to meet with Miss Rankin and you first.”

  Lyndsey smiled as she replied, “Thank you.”

  “You may not thank me when you hear what I have to say. With the takeover of Starlight, we’ve evaluated the positions and we feel that given the fact Darwood employs several editors in our various sites; we don’t need to retain everyone on the staff here in the Nashville office. It’s been decided that Miss Rankin and yourself will be dismissed of your duties as of today. I’ve brought along a document stating the pertinent details and after you’ve read it over, I’ll need your signature. You will, of course, be given an attractive severance package. That should be sufficient until you are able to secure another position. That being said, I want you to read very carefully. There are some conditions attached to that.”

  Lyndsey looked at the woman in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I can assure you, I’m very serious. Most of the work that is done in the Nashville office can be handled in our main office. We employ many very capable editors there.”

  “What about my authors? They’re used to me, we have built a rapport,” Lyndsey pointed out to her.

  “They’ll adjust. If not, they’ll move on.”

  Lyndsey looked at the papers the woman had shoved at her across the desk. Through tear-blurred eyes, she began to read. She was to be given a severance package equal to half a year’s salary, provided she sign the ‘no compete’ agreement. If she began working for another publisher, she was not to contact any of Darwood’s current authors in an attempt to lure them away. Should she choose to start a small press of her own, the same rule applied. There were some references to her current benefits package, her medical insurance would remain in effect for two months, enough time for her to either find other employment or secure other coverage. They were being generous, but the document was concise and to the point. They wanted her out, just as badly as they had wanted Starlight Publishing. It was evident this company went after what they wanted and made sure they got it.

  “Your signature, Mrs. Gordon,” the woman reminded her.

  “Yes, of course, since it appears I don’t have a choice. I haven’t been given the chance to prove myself.”

  “Please don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with your abilities. It was a company decision, for the best of the company.”

  Lyndsey scrawled her name on the line provided for her signature and handed the papers to Ms. Lewis. “I trust we’re finished here. If you don’t mind, I need to begin packing my office. Eight years is a lot to pack up in one day.”

  “Of course, I’ll let you get started and I’ll send someone to help you. You can expect your payment to be deposited into your account next week. You’ll also receive your final paycheck and payment for any vacation and sick days you have accumulated. Good luck in your search for new employment. I’m sure with your experience, it won’t be a problem.”

  When the woman finally made her exit, Lyndsey sat, not moving, staring into space. This can’t be happening. Eight years, a job I love, over just like that. I never imagined that the sale to Darwood would mean I would lose my position with the company. She thought about Joanne. She must be beside herself. Finally, she picked up the phone on her desk and called her friend’s extension.

  “Joanne, are you okay?” she asked.

  “I’m fine. This is a chore packing, though. Maintenance brought up some boxes, but I’m going to need more. I guess you’ve had your visit with the dragon lady.”

  “You don’t seem upset by this,” Lyndsey said through the tears that clouded her vision.

  “I’ve already spoken to Blake and he told me to pack up and come to Pennsylvania. Can you believe it? He wants me to join him there. He said I can look for employment there and stay at his place. I really think I’ve found the one, Lyndsey. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. The decision to go to Blake wouldn’t have been an easy one. Now, it’s a no brainer.”

  “I’m happy for you. I’ve got to go. Maintenance is here with boxes and one of the girls from the front office is here to help me pack.” She hung up the phone and told the man where to set the boxes. She instructed Janie, the girl sent to help pack, to start on her bookshelf. She excused herself and left the office to get some fresh air. As she put on her jacket and walked outside into the chilly spring air, she thought about phoning John. She really should let him know what was happening, but she couldn’t. Not just yet. The pain and shock was too new, too raw. She had to pull herself together and accept the fact she no longer had a job before she shared it with anyone else. She began walking aimlessly and thirty minutes later turned around to go back to the office. She didn’t want to. Packing up her office, her home away from home for the past eight years was the last thing she wanted to do right now. All she wanted to do was disappear, shut out the world and all its cruelness. She wished she’d never heard of Darwood Publishing, or Alexandria Avery, or Cassandra Lewis.

  By the time she returned, the entire bookcase had been packed and the girl had started on the shelves behind her desk, where she had placed some knick-knacks.

  “I’m really sorry about this, Lyndsey. We’ll all miss you around here,” Janie said when she threw her jacket on the chair.

  “Thank you. It looks like you’ve gotten some things done while I was gone. I’m sorry I ran out on you like that. I had to get some air. I’ll start on my desk. Why don’t you take a break?”

  “I understand the need to get out of here. I’ll just go grab a cola from the lounge and be right back. Can I get you anything?”

  “No, thanks, I’ll be fine.” When the girl had gone, she opened the top desk drawer and began to separate the things that belonged to her and the ones that would stay at the office for its next occupant. When she finished with the desk, she looked around the room. The shelves had all been emptied and packed. There were pictures hanging on the wall that she had excitedly purchased at an art festival a few years ago. She took them down and packed them in the paper that had been provided. The office looked lonely, empty and desolate, the way her heart felt.

  Janie returned. “Looks like we’ve got it all, oh, the closet, I’ll check there.” She opened the door and saw that it was empty except for office supplies.

  “Thank you for your help. I know you were roped into it and packing isn’t anyone’s favorite task, but it made things much easier.”

  “Good luck, Lyndsey. I’m sure you’ll be working again in no time.”

  Joanne popped her head in the door a few minutes later. “Well, I’m off. The last of my things has been loaded into my car. Now,
I get to go home and start making arrangements for my move. We have to get together before I go.”

  “I’ll be leaving soon, too. I just need to get maintenance up here to help me carry these boxes out.”

  “What did John say when you told him?” Joanne asked.

  “I…I haven’t…told him yet,” she stammered, close to tears again.

  “Oh, Lyndsey, you’re really upset by this. I’m so sorry. Here I’ve been babbling away about moving to Pennsylvania, and I never stopped to think you’d be so distraught. It’s going to be okay. I mean, now that you’ve met the dragon lady, do you really think you would have been happy working with her?”

  Lyndsey attempted a weak smile. “Go on. You have a lot to do. Call me before you leave town.”

  Joanne walked over and hugged her. “It’s going to work out. You’ll see that I’m right. It’s all a blessing in disguise.”

  “I hope you’re right. We’ll talk later.”

  Joanne left and Lyndsey went to the phone and dialed the extension for the maintenance department. She was told someone would be up to assist her shortly. She went to the various offices of her co-workers and said tearful goodbyes to all of them. After she had returned to her office and the last box had been carried out, she took one last long look around her former office and sighed. “It’s been a good eight years,” she said aloud.

  “It certainly has been,” a voice answered.

  She turned and saw Mr. Starr standing in her doorway.

  “Mr. Starr, I was going to find you and say goodbye on my way out.”

  “Lyndsey, I can’t tell you how shocked and saddened I am to hear what Ms. Lewis did today. I never imagined that anyone would be let go, and definitely not Joanne or you.”

  “It’s not your fault.”