by Leigh, Ember
“Holy fuck.” Her voice came out hard, like she was pissed. “I forgot how good this feels.”
He clenched his teeth, his fingers digging into the sides of her hips; he was so turned on he thought he might break skin. “I never did.”
Lila jerked on top of him, hips bucking against his, her need seeping into him, staining him down to his bone marrow. He tilted his head back to watch the emotions creasing her face, pleasure already making a dense coil down in the deepest part of him.
“When you ride me like this,” he said, his voice coming out as a rasp, “I won’t last long.”
She hooked her elbow around the back of his neck, drawing up until his cock slid out. She hovered there, her breath a desperate pant at his ear.
“You want a break?”
He laughed and groaned at the same time, pushing at her hips, urging her downward. “Don’t even think about it.”
She settled down on top of him again with a small grunt. He steadied her at the hips, holding her in place while he ground against her, starting a steady roll. Her head lolled to the side; words fluttered off her tongue, inaudible.
“Mmmm.” Sweat prickled at his brow, but this had nothing to do with the run. It was the exertion of beating back his orgasm, holding it at bay, squeezing out just a few more seconds of bliss with Lila’s velvety heat wrapped around him. “Babe, you know how fucking good it feels to be inside you?”
“How good, Lex?” A breathy whisper at his ear.
He grunted, drilling into her with all his force, grinding his cock so deep that his vision went spotty. “So good I could fuck you for a year and still want more.” His chest heaved as he paused, cock throbbing inside her. And then he lifted her up at the hips, bringing her off of him once more before slamming her back down. A strangled cry escaped her. She dragged her lips over his forehead.
“I’m close,” she whispered.
“Good.” He rocked beneath her, all the heat of his body coalescing in his groin. This climax would be fucking epic. He’d been saving this up for five full years. “Me too.”
She flexed against him, shifting the angle just enough that his cock slipped a fraction of an inch deeper. He groaned through a kiss, bumping against her as she rolled in a slow circle on top of him. This was it: the final precipice, the last gasp before the explosion. He wrapped his arms around her, wanting to eliminate every last inch separating them, desperate to feel her orgasm as intensely as his own.
Lila rocked against him, her pussy clenched, and his throat tightened, all the air in his lungs evaporating as his orgasm rocketed through him. It was a gut punch of pleasure, swift and consuming. His thighs went rock hard as he came, his abs flinching as the pleasure assaulted him. He buried his face in her shoulder, gripping her hips so hard he thought it might leave bruises.
Lila’s moan came out wispy yet guttural at his ear, her pussy fiery and pulsing as she came around him. Her teeth sank into his shoulder, stopping the moan. He smoothed his hands up her back as her pleasure receded, leaving them both heaving and airy on the bench.
Nobody spoke for what felt like an hour. Finally, Lila drew back enough that he could meet her gaze.
“Maybe now you won’t forget what it feels like,” Lex cracked, squeezing her chin.
Chapter 12
Lila’s world was made of glass for the first twenty-four hours after that orgasm. Fragile yet alluring, everything beautiful yet so very prone to crumbling if the wrong pressure was applied.
Her work schedule required that she take a hiatus from Lex. Every part of her complained about this except for her logical mind, the part that shriveled to an invisible speck the longer she stayed around Lex. But between her son, the twelve-hour shifts, and the heightened observation now that she crept closer to review time for the promotion, there was no way she could see Lex without him also seeing Lane.
When Lila and Lane got home that night, she set to work making dinner while Lane growled his dinosaurs around the living room floor. Lex flooded her thoughts. Of course. Her mind automatically went to the feel of him buried inside her, so deep it felt like he might pop out her lower back. The way only he could fuck her. The unbearable passion that had produced their son.
Her gaze drifted to Lane as she filled a pot with water. She wanted her son to know that he came from passion, that true, deep love had really been his origin.
But she wasn’t ready to bring Daddy into the picture yet. Mostly because she had no idea how to admit to the biggest betrayal of her life.
Guilt crashed over her, swallowing and sticky, in a way that it hadn’t before Lex showed up again. Things felt so good with him right now; admitting the truth would irrevocably change things. Maybe she wanted to enjoy it for just a bit longer. See him again, feel the way things used to feel, before it all got complicated by drugs and then her deceit.
“Mommy, look at this!” Lane screeched as he galloped over to her, showcasing a dinosaur he’d twisted into a strange shape. “I made him look all funny!”
She laughed, setting the pot on the stove to boil. “I love it, hon.”
He zoomed back over to his toys, fiddling with dinosaur legs. Lila fished out her phone, finding a new message from Lex.
“How was your day, babe?”
She sighed, unable to fight the grin. “Long and tiring. Lots of unidentified fluids today. I’m about to eat and then sleep.”
“Want company? You probably need help washing those fluids off. I could even give you a few more.”
She snickered, tapping out a fast response. “I’m moments away from passing out. Once I’m out of my shifts for this week, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
It wasn’t the most gratifying response, but there was no other way to keep her little man a secret. Not that she wanted to for much longer. She just had to figure out the best words to use and the best time.
But maybe there would never be a best time. And the best words? She should cut straight to the chase: I’ve kept a secret from you for, oh, five years. Sorry.
She pinched her eyes shut, gripping the edge of the counter. Already the shame crippled her. Just imagining his anger was enough to make her crumble into pieces.
It has to be soon. Whatever you do, you have to tell him. He can’t find out any other way.
That, at least, seemed like a baseline. Even if they didn’t get back together, even if things went south in a horrible way…Lex deserved to know the truth from her lips.
He was a dad…and Lila wasn’t half the woman he believed her to be.
Tears clouded her eyes as she rummaged in the cupboards for the spaghetti. Was this the part that hurt the most? Falling from the pedestal Lex had insisted she live on since they’d met? He practically worshipped the ground she walked on, even to this day. Even after she’d left him to die on his own, wrapped up in drugs and the darkest fighting underworld. She’d chosen herself, and he still looked at her with that fucking sparkle in his eye.
He still was desperate to win her over, be by her side, check in on her days.
Lila’s breath hitched before a sob came tumbling out. She clasped a hand over her mouth, squeezing some tears out. If anyone should have reservations, it was Lex. Not her. Now that Lex was good, and stable, he deserved to make her life difficult.
She hastily wiped away the tears that had spilled, fumbling to open the long box of spaghetti. Lane raced over to her, tugging at her shirt. “See this one, Mommy?”
Lila plastered a smile on her face, looking at his oddly shaped dinosaur. “He’s even better than the last one, kiddo.”
Lane beamed and zoomed off. Lila’s smile fell, and she stared at the gently moving water in the pot.
Before Lex had shown up, her biggest dilemma was whether or not she could forgive herself for having Lane in secrecy, harboring him like a state secret.
But now, the true question was whether or not Lex would forgive her. If he could know that he’d been a father for five years and still look at her the same way.
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Because she might not be able to go on without having that man in her life.
This was the Lex she’d always dreamt of. And if she knew anything about herself, she wouldn’t be able to walk away this time.
* * *
Lex woke up at seven a.m. the next day. He was adapting to Lila’s schedule, getting used to when he’d be able to text her and get a response. Starting the day with her felt right somehow, especially when she insisted on staying absent after their mind-blowing fuck on the trail the other day.
Lex splashed water on his face in the bathroom, squinting at his reflection. Women had pregnancy glows; Lex had a Lila glow. He grinned at himself. Life had been great before Lila showed up again. But now that she was within arm’s reach? Fuck, he forgot how good shit could be with her in the picture.
He whistled as he went downstairs, headed for the pullup bar. Today marked the second full day without seeing her. Waiting out the work shifts was killer, but if that was the price, he’d pay it gladly. He sent her a quick good morning message before he got to work slamming out the pull ups.
His back prickled with sweat before he got a response. He stared at his phone as he finished his set, counseling himself not to break his focus. Worse than a damn teenager. Glued to the phone. Sitting on pins and needles waiting for any word from her.
He was eighteen all over again, strutting his shit as hard as he could to get Lila to even notice him outside the halls of school. Nobody made him preen or flash his feathers the way she did.
He knocked out an extra set for good measure—as if this might prove to himself he wasn’t fucking hopeless after all—and then dropped to the ground, checking his phone.
“Morning, stud. In traffic per usual. It’s cloudy today, I need something bright to look at. Got any ideas?”
He hefted with a laugh, wiping his forearm over his upper lip. He snapped a quick selfie and sent it to her with the caption “You left the door open for a dick pic, but I thought I’d surprise you.”
Her response came through less than a minute later. “I like the pic but actually hoping for dick.”
He laughed as he picked up his next set, drifting between fantasies and memories as he wrapped up his pullups and moved on to breakfast. They messaged until she clocked in at the hospital, where it would be radio silence until at least lunch.
Late morning hung cool and gray as he strutted into Holt Body Fitness a couple hours later. The familiar glass walls tunneled ahead, showcasing the patrons inside the gym like they were extras in a trendy commercial. At the reception desk, Travis stood with his arms crossed, squinting down at something on the desk that Melanie showed him.
“What up, fam.” Lex held out his fist for a bump from Travis.
“Morning, bro.” Travis tapped his knuckles against Lex’s.
Melanie smirked up at him. “You look chipper this morning.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not,” Lex said.
“I’m serious! Ever since that cute little blonde girl started showing up here…”
Travis snorted. “Yeah. Lex has a girlfriend.”
“I don’t know if she’d call us that yet, but yeah, basically.” Lex beamed down at Melanie. “So, what’s new today?”
Melanie shrugged, clicking through some screens. “Schedules are posted for next week. Lex, you’ve got a new eleven o’clock training session, a new guy who wants to get into the camp.”
“He needs to see you before he can join camp though,” Travis said. “Vet him.” When that warning came with a new camp potential, it usually meant Travis wanted an extra set of eyes to scan for the main red flags: steroids or gang affiliation.
“Got it. Anything else?”
Melanie pinched an eye shut as she thought, swiveling in her chair. “Uh, that’s it. Oh, some guy kept calling this morning and asking for a Cheshire.” She made a face up at the two of them. “Sounded like a creep, too. I told him to quit calling.”
Lex’s stomach bottomed out. He replayed her words in his mind a few times, ‘Cheshire’ echoing like it had been shouted into a tunnel. Travis ran a hand through his hair, brow furrowed as he nodded.
“Cool. I’ll be in my office for a minute, guys.” He sent a quizzical look to Lex, to which Lex nodded.
“Yeah. I’m gonna go gear up for the clients.” He cleared his throat, forcing his legs to move behind Travis, following him toward the employee hallway. When they were out of earshot of Melanie, Travis slowed.
“Dude.” Travis held out a hand, gripped Lex’s shoulder. “In the underground circuit…weren’t you…?”
Lex swallowed an icy knot, barely able to see past the hammering thoughts. So he hadn’t escaped this guy’s sights so easily. “What?”
“Cheshire.” Travis’s brown eyes shone with concern.
Lex moved his jaw back and forth. “Yeah. But I don’t know…”
“Who…?”
A defeated burst of air escaped his lips. Lex rested his palms behind his head. The implications of fielding a call like that at work, his fucking workplace, sent rage and despair spiraling through him. These guys wouldn’t stop with the call. Oh no. This was a warning. But did Travis know that?
“I’m not Cheshire anymore,” Lex finally said, jerking his gaze up to meet Travis’s. “I haven’t been for years. I don’t know why the fuck someone is calling here asking for that name.”
Travis’s jaw tensed as he watched him, nodding hard. “Okay. Yeah. I figured.”
“I’m not too happy about it, either.”
Tense silence stretched between them.
“I’ll take care of it,” Lex added once Travis’s gaze became unbearable.
“I know.” Travis squeezed his shoulder, breaking the heaviness. He wasn’t an idiot when it came to the implications of these underground fighting rings. Travis had rescued enough guys from the life to know just how bad it was. His silence spoke louder than any words could have. “I’ll see you later.”
Lex watched him walk away, his chest drawn tight like a rubber band. Curse words ran through his head as he headed for the employee room to drop his duffel bag off. Calling his cell phone nonstop was one thing; calling his workplace represented a whole new level of wrong.
But that had to be their approach. Make it impossible to ignore.
Lex crept through work that morning like the floor might fall out at any minute and prove to be spikes; nothing felt safe anymore. They’d called asking for Cheshire. His past had bloated up like a cyst, trembling and ready to pop.
Of his coworkers, only Travis and Geo knew about Lex’s origins, and he intended to keep it that way. Whenever clients asked where he learned to fight, Lex used a short, warped version of the truth: street fighting. Sort of true, and no need to mention the Kings or the frightening depths of their murky underground pool.
Just after two, Melanie came into the back gym, eyebrows wrought into a perplexed ridge. When her gaze landed on Lex, she made a beeline for him. Lex’s stomach plummeted; nothing about the look on her face bore good news. Lex excused himself from his client, meeting Melanie halfway across the gym. She was breathless when she spoke.
“Lex, you need to come up front.” She wiped her smear of bangs off her forehead. “Someone named Ulrich is here. He said he had an appointment with you, but I don’t have it in the system.”
Lex kept pace alongside her as they left the gym and wound through the back hallways. Ulrich. Sounded like a fake name. He knew who this was, who this had to be. “Is he here for a session?”
“I doubt it.” She scoffed. “Certainly not dressed for it.:”
His stomach turned into a clenched fist. “Did you try to put him into the schedule?”
“He needed to see you now,” she said. Peering up at him, her eyes narrowed. “Did you used to be called Cheshire? He mentioned that. Maybe he’s the guy that called this morning?”
Lex wouldn’t have answered even if his voice hadn’t shriveled away, leaving behind a sandpaper-
parched throat. They rounded the corner headed toward the grand foyer. The glass tunnel of the entryway sparkled in the early afternoon sunlight. And there, leaning against the receptionist desk, was a glowering dark cloud.
Ulrich.
Lex recognized him as soon as he saw him, but Ulrich wasn’t his name. Years ago, they’d called him Knuckles, the joke being that he was the only guy in the underground ring who didn’t use his knuckles. He was one of the higher ups, one of those who oversaw the matches and handled the betting. He dressed like a business man with dark slacks and a white, pressed shirt, but the shadows on his face betrayed his shady dealings.
And the fact that he stood in the lobby of Holt Body Fitness told him everything he needed to know. This was no social call.
They want you back.
Lex strode toward him, keeping his face neutral while Knuckles’ gaze prickled over him. His lips curled into a sneer as he approached. Lex grabbed him by the elbow without a word, guiding him toward the front door. He could sense Melanie’s curiosity bubbling over behind him.
“Not even a hello?” Knuckles’ raspy voice sent dread streaking through him. That jagged scar through his eyebrows was a type of familiar Lex would pay to erase from his memory.
“You don’t show up to my workplace.” Lex struggled to keep his voice steely, to not let the fear seep through. Once they were through the front doors, bright midday sun bore down on them. Lex stood his ground on the sidewalk, arms crossed over his chest. “Now what do you want?”
Knuckles sent him a creepy grin, one that made Lex grimace in response. “You, Cheshire. We need you.”
“No, you don’t. I’m out. I’ve been out.”
“We need you back.” Knuckles reached into the pocket of his pants, pulled out a slim tin. He popped it open, running his thumb over a neat row of hand rolled cigarettes before choosing one, almost purposefully. His words came out mumbled around the cigarette. “We miss you, Cheshire.”
