by Susan Lewis
Nodding agreement, he yawned again and threw back the duvet. ‘Actually,’ he said, planting his feet on the floor, ‘I think I’ll come now, because with the way things are going there might be a lot more of us around the place later, so I ought to make the most of my girls while I can.’
Biting down on her disappointment, Lucy said, ‘OK, I’ll wait downstairs.’
‘Hang on, before you go, I was wondering what you want me to call you now. I mean, if your real name’s Alexandra, is that what you want …’
‘Lucy’s fine,’ she interrupted.
‘Up to you, but I have to say I kind of like Alexandra, and the more I think about it the more it seems to suit you.’
Resisting the urge to ask if he felt the same about Mckenzie, as opposed to Winters, she picked up her bag and left the room.
An hour later she and Hanna were in the office catching up with emails while continuing to wait for Joe. Inwardly Lucy was seething that he was taking so long, since being in the same vicinity as the entire contingent of Bancrofts was wreaking increasing havoc on her nerves as the minutes ticked by. She knew so little about Becky that she couldn’t even begin to guess how she might be reacting, but her instincts seemed to be telling her that Becky wouldn’t be taking it well.
‘I’m going to find out where he is,’ Hanna suddenly announced. ‘He’s worse than us, the amount of time he takes to get ready.’
As she ran off to the farmhouse Lucy’s heart somersaulted at the sound of her mobile phone starting to ring, and when she saw it was someone from the manor her nerve almost failed her altogether.
‘Cromstone Auctions,’ she said, hiding behind her professional persona.
‘Hello dear,’ Rose said. ‘Simon would like to come and see you, so I’m calling to find out if it’s convenient.’
Lucy’s throat turned dry. ‘Uh, yes, of course,’ she said. ‘And what – how about Becky? Is she …?’
‘Just a moment. Becky, Lucy’s asking if you’re going too?’
Lucy’s heart turned over as a voice in the background said, ‘Not right now.’
‘It’s OK, I heard,’ Lucy said as Rose came back on the line. ‘Please tell her … Well, it’s fine. I don’t want to force myself …’
‘I know,’ Rose said gently. ‘Nor do we, so we must all take it at our own pace.’
After ringing off Lucy tried, and mostly failed, to stop smarting at Becky’s summary dismissal. Not right now! It had been hard to gauge her tone from the end of a phone line, but the words were enough to warn her that Becky was less than thrilled by the news her mother had imparted. Finding herself on the brink of rejection suddenly made Lucy realise how much she wanted to be accepted, which was both annoying and upsetting. It made her seem pathetic and needy when she was actually neither. She simply wanted the chance to get to know Becky, and find out if she felt the same sort of bond with her as she did with Sarah. Was that asking too much? She didn’t think so, but she guessed what mattered right now was what Becky was thinking, and since Becky had barely had time to start assimilating the changes to her life, Lucy decided she must be more understanding of why Becky wasn’t ready to meet her new sister just yet.
Simon, on the other hand, was on his way over, and torn between nerves and relief that he was at least coming, Lucy started back to the farmhouse. Since they’d got along well from the start she was going to take heart from that, and do her best to stop feeling so fearful all the time. What will be, will be, she muttered to herself as she entered the kitchen, and if they ended up not wanting her as part of their family she would simply remind herself that she’d managed this long without them, so she could do so again.
Finding no sign of Hanna or Joe in the kitchen, she went to the bottom of the stairs. Hearing Hanna chatting to someone on her mobile and Joe singing along to the radio in the bathroom, she decided to leave them to it for now. Joe and Simon in the same room was a ticking bomb she didn’t feel much like dealing with today, so she was going to remain hopeful that Joe stayed right where he was for at least the next half an hour.
Knowing the chances of that were about nil, she quickly went to make fresh coffee, then rummaged in her bag for some make-up. She’d just finished touching it up when she heard footsteps coming along the drive. Bracing herself with a stern reminder that she could deal with this, she began taking down cups ready to play the welcoming hostess.
‘Lucy, we’re here,’ Sarah said from the door.
Turning, with her heart in her mouth, Lucy met Simon’s eyes. Seeing a mix of amazement, amusement and tenderness there, she let her breath go in a gusty laugh.
‘Who’d have thought it?’ he said, coming to wrap her in his arms. ‘The answer to everything.’
With a mangled sob she said, ‘Can you believe it?’
‘I’m doing my best,’ he replied, continuing to hold her as though worried she might slip away, or simply evaporate. Then, tilting her face up so he could look into her eyes, his own lit with more irony as he said, ‘Another sister, just what I always wanted.’
Laughing, she said, ‘You know what they say about being careful of what you wish for.’
Clearly delighted, he hugged her to him again, while holding out an arm for Sarah to come and join the embrace.
‘Are you OK?’ Lucy asked her.
Sarah smiled. ‘Still getting used to my demotion to half-sister,’ she tried to joke.
‘That’s not how it is,’ Simon said firmly. ‘You’re still every bit as special as you always were, possibly even more so now that you have exclusive rights on Douglas.’
His joke didn’t quite make it either.
‘You heard what John said,’ Sarah told him, ‘he’ll always accept that Dad has been more of a father to you than he has. He doesn’t want to force himself into your life, he just hopes you can be friends, for Mum’s sake as much as anyone’s.’
Sighing, Simon said, ‘I know. I guess it would just be easier if Dad were here. He always had a way of making things seem clearer when the rest of us were flailing about in the dark.’
‘I think,’ Lucy said tentatively, ‘that John has his qualities too. Doing what he did so that you could stay with your mother … There aren’t many men with that sort of integrity, or courage.’
‘Or foolishness,’ Simon added, but there was no rancour in his tone, only a lingering residue of bewilderment and perhaps, Lucy thought, a last belligerent soldier of male pride still refusing to lie down.
‘Shall we have some coffee?’ she suggested. If it weren’t for Becky she might have offered champagne, but with that ominous cloud still hovering on a close horizon, along with those formed by her parents, any kind of celebration would have been completely out of place.
‘I’d love one,’ Joe announced, coming into the kitchen.
Lucy immediately tensed, but to her relief, with no hesitation at all Joe turned the charm to full flow as he went to shake Simon by the hand.
‘Seems I got it wrong about you,’ he said with no small irony, ‘and for that, as well as the right hook, I owe you an apology.’
‘Accepted,’ Simon told him, though his tone wasn’t quite as warm as Joe’s.
Telling herself this was the best she could hope for right now, Lucy watched Joe overdoing his fondness for Sarah with a giant bear hug, and was just starting to pour the coffee when someone else appeared in the doorway.
Knowing instantly who it was, Lucy felt her insides dissolve into turmoil. She might be a taller, less radiant version of Rose but the similarity was striking, as was the directness of her gaze, which was scything through the room straight at Lucy.
‘Becks,’ Sarah said, glancing nervously between her and Lucy. ‘You came, that’s great.’
Becky’s eyes didn’t leave Lucy. ‘Well, your colouring’s similar,’ she stated matter-of-factly, ‘and I suppose, at a stretch, we could say you resemble John …’
‘Becky,’ Simon cut in darkly.
Aware of Joe bristling, Lucy said, ‘
We’re about to have coffee, if you’d …’
‘The family has no money, I hope you’re aware of that,’ Becky told her. ‘Oh, but of course, John does, so I guess that’s …’
‘Who the hell do you think you are?’ Joe snarled, starting forward.
‘It’s all right, Joe,’ Lucy said, catching his arm. To Becky she said, ‘I didn’t ask for this.’
Becky’s brows formed a supercilious arch.
‘You haven’t even given her a chance,’ Sarah told her.
‘I’m not as gullible as you,’ Becky retorted. ‘Or as taken in by a pretty face as my brother seems to be.’
‘Becky, why did you come?’ Simon demanded.
‘I wanted to see her for myself, and I’m telling you, Simon, she’s no sister of ours,’ and giving no one the opportunity to respond she turned on her heel and left.
Chapter Twenty-Three
AFTER SETTLING BRIAN comfortably in his chair, Daphne passed him a cup of tea and went to check her phone to make sure it was charging. She hadn’t meant to leave it behind when they’d set off, but by the time she’d discovered she’d forgotten it they were already too far into their journey to turn back.
The trip to Hastings had really taken it out of Brian. He was worryingly pale now, and could hardly keep his head up, he was so tired. It was alarming her to see how rapidly he was fading. Even taking a week to make the journey, stopping often and doing none of the driving himself, had been too much for him, but she knew he wasn’t sorry they’d gone. They went every year to put flowers beneath the tree they’d planted themselves, at the edge of a playground close to where they’d lived before the tragedy of the fire.
After making sure he was still comfortable in his chair, she wrote a note to remind him where she’d gone when he woke up, then put it on his lap along with the note Lucy had left when she’d come with Michael. Daphne could only feel relieved that she and Brian had already set out on their journey by then, because they’d needed to make one more visit to the tree before they faced the consequences that were swarming in over the horizon.
The drive to the lay-by was mostly downhill, winding and dipping as she cut through the swathes of mist like a lonely apparition. Beside her on the seat her mobile was starting to come to life, letting her know that there were voicemails and texts all needing attention.
As she pulled into the lay-by tears were blurring her vision, and she could hardly see where she was going by now. After turning off the engine she sat for a while with her eyes closed, her heart so full that it was a struggle for it to beat. In the end she picked up the phone and without listening to her messages or reading the texts, she scrolled to Lucy’s number and pressed to connect.
‘Mum!’ Lucy cried after the second ring. ‘At last. Where are you?’
Mum. She was still calling her Mum, and Daphne was so moved that she almost couldn’t speak. ‘We’re home now,’ she told her croakily. ‘We got back about an hour ago.’
‘Where did you go? I’ve been so worried.’
Daphne took a breath to answer, but found she couldn’t.
‘Mum, are you OK?’
‘We had to see someone,’ she finally managed. ‘It turned into a longer trip than I expected and … I’m sorry. How are you, dear? Is everything on track for the next auction? Is there anything I can help you with?’
‘Mum, we need to talk. You said the last time you rang …’
‘Yes, I remember.’
‘You have to tell me …’
‘I will, dear. It’s why I’m ringing.’ Her eyes closed as words and images swam like a jumbled puzzle in her mind.
‘I’m coming down there,’ Lucy told her.
‘You don’t need to do that.’
‘You know I do.’
‘Yes, of course.’ Daphne was thinking of Brian now at home on his own, perhaps reading the notes she’d left, or more likely still asleep. ‘When will you come?’
‘Hanna starts her new school tomorrow, so I’ll be there on Wednesday. OK?’
‘Lovely,’ Daphne murmured. ‘I’ll get a panettone to have with some tea. You and Hanna always like panettone.’
At her end, as she rang off, Lucy was torn between relief and frustration. ‘Well, at least we know where they are now,’ she said to Sarah, who was sitting at her own desk.
‘Did she say where they’ve been?’ Sarah asked.
Lucy shook her head. ‘Just that they had to see someone, but who that might be or where it was … your guess is as good as mine.’
Glancing at the phone as it started to ring again, Sarah let the machine pick it up as she said, ‘So you’re going down there?’
Though she was baulking inside, Lucy nodded, and took out her mobile. ‘I should call Michael to find out when works for him.’ She could go alone, and maybe she should, but she truly didn’t feel capable of making the journey on her own. Besides, they were going to need Michael not only as a friend, but as their lawyer – and moreover, he’d help to keep things calm and rational in a way she knew was simply beyond her, given the terrible conflict of emotions that assailed her every time she as much as thought about Daphne and Brian.
After leaving a message for him to get back to her, she looked at Sarah as she put the phone down again. Sarah, her half-sister, who was still so damaged and vulnerable after all she’d been through, and surely in need of some sort of reassurance, with all that was going on. ‘We have a lot to talk about,’ she said gently.
‘It can wait,’ Sarah told her. ‘For now this is more important.’
Since she was probably right, Lucy let it go for the moment and with a shuddering sigh she pulled her hands over her face. ‘Do you think I should let Rose and John know they’re back? They might want to come with me, but I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do.’
‘If you’re asking me,’ Sarah said bluntly, ‘then I think Brian and Daphne should be made to face the people whose lives they wrecked.’
As Lucy’s heart contracted she found herself unable to disagree.
‘OK, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them,’ Sarah continued, ‘but it hardly excuses anything, does it?’
Lucy shook her head. ‘I keep thinking of the kind of life I should have had,’ she admitted. ‘They stole that from me, and forced me to lead an existence that was … Well, a lot lonelier than the one I would have had, that’s for sure, and the more I go over it the more bitter and angry I’m starting to feel.’
‘Which is hardly surprising, when they stole you – an innocent child – from your own mother and kept you as though they had some sort of God-given right to you. It was unforgivable.’
‘I know, I know, and believe me I’m not about to start defending them, but then I see their faces in my mind’s eye and remember how much I’ve always meant to them … And they’ve always meant the world to me too. In a way it still hardly seems real. I mean, you read about this sort of thing in the papers, but you never imagine it’ll happen to you.’ She looked at Sarah again, and felt another wave of despair come over her. ‘When I wake up in the morning everything seems fine, and then I remember what’s happening and it’s like I’m losing control of who I am and where I’m supposed to be going.’
Clearly starting to connect with the terrible dilemma she was in, Sarah’s tone was much softer as she said, ‘For what it’s worth, I think you’re handling it really well. Most of us would go to pieces …’
‘And you think I’m not?’ Lucy came in with a smile.
‘You’re much tougher than you’re giving yourself credit for.’
Lucy arched a cynical eyebrow. ‘Not tough enough to go and face them alone,’ she confessed.
‘But I think it’s right that Michael comes with you.’
Lucy nodded and took another unsteady breath. ‘If we had more time on our side I might be able to figure out how best to approach them, but with the way the locals are turning against John … He’s suffered enough, and I know I can’t let it go on. The trouble
is, telling the truth is starting to feel like throwing my parents to the wolves. Except they’re not my parents, are they?’
‘Oh Lucy,’ Sarah murmured, her voice imbued with feeling.
‘In spite of everything, it’s how they still feel,’ Lucy told her, ‘and I can’t pretend …’ Trying to swallow her emotions, she said, ‘I want to punish them and walk out of their lives for ever, but then I want to protect them and stop anyone doing anything to hurt them.’
Reaching for her hands, Sarah said, ‘I know it’s too early to remind you that you have another family who’s ready to stand by you, it might not even be what you want to hear at the moment, but nevertheless we’re here for you, Lucy.’
Lucy’s eyes were tender as they came to hers. ‘Are you speaking for Becky too?’ she asked wryly.
Embarrassed, Sarah said, ‘I know when she came here on Saturday she wasn’t exactly …’
Turning away Lucy said, ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned her. She’s not my main concern right now.’
‘For what it’s worth, Simon gave her a serious dressing-down …’
‘Please don’t tell me that,’ Lucy protested. ‘I don’t want to be responsible for causing a rift between them. How did she react to John?’
‘Actually, she’s taking to him in a very Becky sort of way, which means she’s either quizzing him about the business he and Pippa had in Scotland, or she’s testing his views on everything from climate change to animal rights to healthy options for breakfast. Rozzie and Pippa, I’m relieved to say, are already great hits.’
‘And Simon and John? Has there been any breakthrough there?’
‘Si’s definitely thawing, but his pride won’t let it happen too fast. They’re both, him and Becky, still really angry with Mum for not telling them the truth long before now. Becky’s even admitted to being in therapy to try to deal with her feelings of inadequacy and abandonment.’
‘Oh God,’ Lucy groaned. ‘How’s Rose taken that?’
