Collide Series Box Set

by J. C. Hannigan

  * * *

  Iain Bentley was amazing. He was gentle and he was passionate. He was impressive on all levels, and extremely skilled. I hadn't been with many people willingly, only Rhys, and he had been completely all about him. With Iain, I'd never been more pleasured in my life, and likely never would know pleasure of that intensity after him.

  Afterwards, he wrapped us both up in a warm afghan from the back of his couch, and we lay there tangled up in each other's arms, breathing peacefully. I rested my head on his chest while he rubbed my lower back and played with my hair.

  "I should go soon…" I trailed off, figuring it was nearing midnight.

  "Mmhmm." Iain yawned, pulling me tight. "You could stay, if you wanted to."

  "I sort of have a curfew." I hated to remind him of my age now, especially considering what we'd just done, but it was true.

  He laughed, showing no traces of regret. "I didn't take you for the type to obey curfew," he joked.

  I feigned offense. "What kind of type do you take me for?"

  "The independent, strong willed, assertive kind that doesn't follow any rules but her own," Iain replied, suppressing a yawn.

  "That's accurate, and although I hate obeying curfew, I also have my own rules for hook ups. One of them is no sleepovers," I informed him, making it up as I went along.

  "You think this was just a hook up?" Iain actually did look offended. "Weren't you listening to a word I said prior?"

  "Well, I've learned from a very early age that guys will say anything to get in your pants…so, I did hear you, I just didn't believe you," I answered honestly.

  Iain looked thoughtful as he pondered my words. "Okay, fair enough. Well, I meant it. This is more than a hook up to me. I'm saying it now and I've already been in your pants," Iain added, smiling. "What about you? What are you looking for?" He looked at me, almost vulnerable.

  "I don't know," I answered. "I don't want it to be just a hook up, but I told you, I'm not expecting anything."

  "Well, let's just take this slow…" Iain trailed off, seeing my expression. "Slower, I mean. But know that I believe in monogamy. Even if we can't be open about our…relationship with anyone else."

  "Good to know." I smiled. "And don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

  "Our secret," Iain whispered, pressing his lips against mine for another kiss.

  * * *

  That Monday morning, I was a little late for class after accidentally sleeping in. The weekend had caught up with me. I hadn't gotten home until nearly three o’clock on Sunday morning, then I worked from eight until two and crashed hard.

  "Nice of you to join us, Miss Jones," Iain said sternly when I finally walked into the classroom, nearly an hour late.

  "Sorry, teach. Busy weekend," I replied, tossing my hair over my shoulder as I walked past. I caught a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips, but I didn't dare look directly at him. I went to my seat and sat down, ignoring Riley's obvious chest stare.

  "What did you do this weekend?" Riley whispered as Iain continued the lesson, trying to be oblivious to me. I knew he was watching out of the corner of his eye by the slight set of his jaw.

  "Worked. Hung out. The usual," I replied, not really wanting to encourage conversation with Riley. I wanted to be left alone to discreetly stare at Iain's body and bask in the sweet memories of what it looked like unwrapped from all those layers and what it was capable of doing to me. But instead, knowing that Riley was staring at me, I opened up my notebook and started doodling.

  In the last ten minutes before class ended, Mr. Bentley gave the writing topic. He sat on the edge of his desk and observed us all.

  "This week's topic is chance. Write about what chance means, or about what happened when you gave something—or someone—a chance," he said. "And pick out a novel from the reading list to read and do a book report on. The book report will be due two Mondays from now."

  The class groaned in unison, except for me. I loved reading, and I enjoyed doing Iain's writing topics. I enjoyed pouring bits of my soul into them, especially when he chose topics that were extremely relevant to what I was going through. Not that I openly wrote about him—he always knew by the metaphors, just as I knew by the topic.

  The bell rang, signaling the end of class. I packed up my things and stood up. Riley reached out and grabbed my arm, smiling cockily at me.

  "You up for dinner tonight?" he asked.

  "No," I replied, pulling my arm from his grasp. "I'll pass…indefinitely." I ignored the disappointed look on Riley's face and stole a look at Iain, who was discreetly watching from his desk. He suppressed a smile as I walked by with a smile of my own on my lips.

  As I joined the overwhelming amount of students in the hallway, I caught sight of Jenna, Callie, and Tara. She'd gone back to hanging out with them, although their friendship seemed to have changed. Jenna was looking a little better these days though, and she had yet to text to me. I figured she'd moved what had happened to her into the filing cabinet of denial. I didn't want to force her to talk about it or deal with it.

  "Harlow! Wait up!" I turned my head toward the sound of my name, seeing Jake trying to push his way through the clusters of students clogging up the hallway. He reached my side and kept up with my pace. "Hey, I meant to ask…how's that girl? Callie?"

  "Jenna," I corrected. "I think she's okay." I shrugged, frowning. "I don't want to force her to talk about it so…"

  "Yeah," Jake said awkwardly. "That's probably…a good idea." He looked completely out of his element. "You haven't seen him around again, have you?"

  Jake knew about how Andrew had chased me after work one day, although I'd left out the part about running into Iain completely.

  "No, I haven't. Thank God." I sighed.

  "Good." Jake nodded in agreement, pursing his lips angrily. "God, I want to teach that guy a lesson."

  "Why hasn't anybody?" I asked. "He's an arrogant prick. Oh, and a rapist."

  "Because…" Jake raised one eyebrow. "His dad."

  "Oh right." I rolled my eyes. "Let's just let Junior get away with everything." I stomped off, not waiting for Jake to catch up.

  My secret relationship with Iain was effortless. I didn't have anyone to tell, and I didn't want to. I wanted to keep every delicious detail to myself. Iain and I maintained our teacher/student relationship while at school, and we didn't often see each other during the week. We hung out every Saturday, except for the occasional quickie during the week after work. Every time with Iain was incredible, and I couldn't help but feel as if I was free falling into something wonderful. It wasn't just about the sex either, although that was definitely amazing. Iain and I were just great together. We couldn't do anything in public, obviously, but we'd spend hours curled up on his couch just talking and laughing.

  Iain was always very open and honest with me. It wasn't long into our relationship that he had told me a lot about his life—that he'd been the middle child of three boys and one girl, and that all his siblings had been heavily into sports and he'd been very into books. He told me about taking the advance track programs in university so he could become a teacher sooner because he'd always known that was what he wanted to do. He told me about the six months he backpacked around Australia with friends straight out of high school, about all the crazy adventures they'd gone on. He told me about the book he wanted to write, then joked about it—what English teacher didn't want to write a book? Then he told me about the girl he nearly proposed to two years prior, who had broken his heart.

  Iain's openness made me want to be honest, but…I couldn't. The only person who had known every gruesome detail had been Lauren; I hadn't even attempted to tell anyone else. Lauren only knew because she just knew. She was incredibly skilled at reading people—better than even me—and it was almost like the scars of my past had been written on my forehead. I wasn't ready to share that much of myself with anybody else, and I didn't know if I ever would.

  * * *

  One Saturday night in
mid-October, as we curled up together on his couch, Iain started kissing me, exploring my mouth with his like he never had before. It was almost disorienting.

  "Why me?" I suddenly asked, unable to stop myself. "I mean…you don't have flings with all the students, do you?"

  "Yes, every last one of them. Even the guys." Iain pulled away slightly and rolled his eyes. Then he realized that I was asking him a serious question. "No, I've never had a fling, or even a desire to have a fling with a student before. Although I suppose that's not saying much, considering this is only my first year of teaching."

  "Comforting," I joked.

  "There's just something about you…" he continued. "I felt it the moment I saw you. This impossible pull. I know it's too early for declarations of adoration, but just know that this isn't a random need I want to fill."

  "Okay," I said, unable to think of a more brilliant response to that. My heart was pounding from his kissing expertise, his closeness and his words. He leaned toward me to continue kissing me, and paused when I frowned.

  "What is it?" he asked, concerned.

  I shook my head, unable to voice it. Never before had I felt so strongly for someone, and it felt like it was all happening impossibly fast. Like a train going at warp speed, it left me dizzy and disoriented, but pleasantly so. I didn't want to get off. I wanted to stay for the ride and see where we ended up. Even if we crashed. Even if there was a lot at stake. I wondered how it was possible to feel so much for someone so quickly, and to give every bit of yourself without really giving it. That's what I was doing. I was open and vulnerable, only not with my words. At the same time, it was easy to forget everything else when I was with him.

  "Just kiss me," I said huskily, trying to push down the overwhelming amount of feelings. I'd deal with them later.

  * * *

  The next few weeks passed by in pretty much the same manner. I went to school, I worked, and I hung out with Iain late at night. I told nobody about our relationship.

  One day at school, I was in the bathroom washing my hands when I heard someone burst in. It was Jenna. She was wearing a larger cardigan than usual, and she looked ashen and clammy. She barely spared me a glance as she raced toward a stall and slammed the door behind her. It pounced off the lock and remained half opened. She vomited loudly into the toilet, her shoulders heaving.

  "Jenna? Are you okay?" I asked, drying my hands on a paper towel and watching her carefully.

  "No.” Jenna said weakly before she vomited some more.

  Dread settled in my gut. "Jenna, are you…could you be…?" I trailed off, not wanting to voice my concerns. She looked back at me, tears welling up in her eyes, and nodded once. "Jesus."

  She laughed bitterly. "I know, right? I was saving myself for marriage," she said, sounding embarrassed at her confession. "My first time and I didn't even want to, and now…" The tears finally rolled down her cheeks. "I don't know what to do. I haven't told anyone. My parents are extremely religious. They're going to kill me."

  "Are you…" I didn't know how to ask her, so I closed my mouth. She lifted her head up to stare at the ceiling.

  "I don't know. I don't know if I can keep it," Jenna sobbed. "But I can't…kill it."

  I grabbed another paper towel and ran it under the cold water, ringing it out before I stepped up to her stall door and offered it to her. I wracked my brain for something to say and could find absolutely nothing of comfort. "I'm sorry," I finally said. She nodded, fresh tears spilling out of her eyes. "Are you going to tell your parents?"

  "I'm going to have to, I think." Jenna sighed. "I've thought long and hard about getting an abortion, but I…I can't do that. I can't kill an innocent child."

  “It's not a child yet; it's an embryo, a cluster of cells," I replied. "It's your body, your decision. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel, but you can't look at it like a child when it's still a cluster of cells." I tried to be diplomatic and scientific about it to give her a little hope.

  She smiled weakly. "I know, but that cluster of cells will be a person, if it's given the chance. What if it grows up to find the cure to cancer?"

  I shrugged, unsure of the correct response. That was a heavier track of thought than I had expected of her.

  "Or what if it grows up to be like…its father?" Jenna whispered, fresh tears pouring out of her eyes. She covered her face, sobbing heavily into her knees. The bell rang, signaling the beginning of another class before I could think of anything to say to this poor, broken girl.

  "Just go," Jenna sighed, leaning her head against the wall. "I'll be here a while."

  I hesitated for a half a second, then pulled myself up onto the bathroom counter.

  "What are you doing?" Jenna asked, looking over at me.

  "When you're done tossing your cookies, we're gonna blow this joint." I shrugged, looking at my nails. I felt a pang in my chest. I hadn't really been a friend to anyone in…well, a long time. I was rusty and it felt awkward.

  "I can't. My parents will know," Jenna tried, but stopped at the look on my face. I had one eyebrow raised.

  "Jenna. You're gonna have to face them sooner rather than later, especially if you don't go with plan B."

  Jenna's face paled.

  "Sorry, I'm very blunt." I inwardly kicked myself.

  "No, it's okay." She sighed, pulling herself up. "You're right." She leaned against the bathroom stall, picking an imaginary thread on her cardigan.

  "You done?" I asked. She nodded, brushing back a strand of her blond hair. "Let's go."

  * * *

  We ended up going to the mall to grab coffee and shop. Lauren had always believed that retail therapy was a wonderful distraction, and luckily Jenna was in agreement. I wasn't a big shopper, but I wanted to distract Jenna.

  "So, what about your friends? Dumb and Dumber?" I asked, examining a cute low-neck top while glancing at Jenna curiously.

  Jenna snorted. “Dumb and Dumber. That's accurate." She exhaled sharply. "I just…I don't trust them. Not anymore. They've never been really good friends, if you know what I mean. And Callie, she used to date Andrew. She's still obsessed with him." Jenna looked out the window. "She definitely wouldn't understand and Tara goes with whatever Callie says."

  "Ahhh," I said, nodding as if I suddenly understood when I had all along. "So my early prediction of them being super bitches wasn't that far off."

  Jenna laughed, then her head snapped up as she looked at me. "Wait, you thought they were super bitches? What'd you think about me?"

  "Same." I shrugged without apology. "There's nothing wrong with being a super bitch; I'm a super bitch."

  Jenna shook her head, chewing on her lip as she pondered whether or not to be offended by my honesty. "Well, I wasn't always a bitch. Their personalities kind of wear off on you."

  "Why don't you ditch them?"

  "'Cause we've kind of been hanging out for years. But who knows…I doubt they'll have my back for this," Jenna answered softly. I kept my mouth shut. I already knew they wouldn't.

  * * *

  Jenna and I hung out at the mall until school was over, then we both went our separate ways. I had a very rare evening off, so I decided to walk to Iain's house.

  It was about a half hour trek from the mall, but I didn't mind. I pulled my sweater hood up, put on my headphones and started playing Lorde's new album. The walk was peaceful, despite battling clusters of high school students headed to the mall. I made sure nobody was watching me when I turned down Iain's street. Nobody was paying me a lick of attention, but I still shuffled nervously on my feet while I waited for Iain to answer the door. Usually, my visits happened after dark.

  "You skipped class," he remarked when he opened the door to find me standing impatiently at the door.

  "How do you know? I didn't even have you this afternoon."

  "I'm aware of all that happens at the school," Iain joked.

  "Well, I had good reason to."

  "There's never good reason to skip out on cla
ss," Iain lectured, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked ridiculously handsome, somehow still demanding authority despite the fact that he was standing barefoot in the doorway. I smiled.

  "I came here for sex, not the third degree," I teased, leaning up to kiss him as I slid out of my coat. He distractedly ran his hand up my waist, pulling me against him. I moaned into his mouth, pressing harder to him.

  "I really want to know why you skipped though. I went an entire class without staring at you discreetly," Iain said, after breaking the kiss and taking my hand. He led me into the kitchen where he put on the kettle for tea, somewhat of a ritual whenever I came to visit.

  "Wait, what?" I asked, confused. Normally, I only had Iain Monday mornings.

  "I covered for Mr. Parsons," Iain explained, referring to my Science teacher. "He ended up leaving halfway through the day with the flu, so I took over his class."

  "Well, that's too bad," I said, exhaling. I chewed on my bottom lip in consideration. "Do you remember that girl at the party?" Iain nodded. "I ran into her…and…well." I absently grabbed a strand of my hair, twisting it around my fingers. "She's…pregnant. From that…encounter."

  Iain leaned back against the counter, his eyes full of sympathy. "That's terrible. What does she plan on doing?"

  "She has no idea. She doesn't believe in abortion, but she definitely doesn't want…" I trailed off awkwardly. I felt like I was betraying Jenna, but she hadn't asked me to not tell our English teacher. That's kind of an assumed thing though, I thought.

  Iain was still frowning. "This wouldn't happen to be someone in our English class? Someone who has missed a lot of time lately?"

  "You weren't supposed to make guesses, Iain," I replied, frowning.

  "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell her that I know," Iain said quickly. "I'm just trying to piece everything together."