Collide Series Box Set

by J. C. Hannigan

  "There's the bed of my truck," Jax countered as he gestured to his truck with a playful grin on his face.

  I shook my head, amused by him, by our effortless banter. "If it were summertime, maybe. But it's kind of cold out, and despite what you think, I'm really not that kind of girl. I like fun, but I definitely am not an exhibitionist."

  "I can wait," Jax promised, gently leading me to the passenger door.

  I turned to face him, smiling. "Who knows how long that will be?" I remarked, tilting my head. My hair spilled over my shoulder, and he caught a couple strands in his hand. He looked at it, stroking it gently before he raised his eyes to meet mine.

  "I can wait," he repeated. Then a smile broke out on his face. "But...I can't wait to eat. I mean seriously, ever since you mentioned greasy food."

  I laughed, shoving him away from me so I could open the door.

  "You've been doing more of that lately," Jax remarked, his hand on the inside of his passenger door.

  "A lot of what?"

  "Smiling. And laughing," Jax answered. "I like it." He closed the door, swiftly cutting off my reply.

  We hadn't been an official couple for even four days yet, and already I was walking around in that infuriating "honeymoon" stage of a new relationship. It was easy to forget about all my reservations when I was around him. It was easy to get caught up in the feeling of newness and attraction. Jax made it easy to forget everything but us.

  But when I wasn't around him, I couldn't help but want to punch myself in the face for feeling all that I was feeling. It was too soon; I felt as though I was hurtling towards an inevitable destruction.

  Still, Jax made it incredibly easy to feel. He was sweet, he was attentive, and he thought up little ways to make me feel important. He courted me—something I had never experienced before. He hinted towards having planned something exciting for Friday afternoon, after my final class of the week ended around one.

  He told me to dress warmly and that he’d pick me up around two. All day long, I couldn't focus on my classes. I kept wondering what he had planned, warring with myself over being excited or being skeptical. I had a slight idea about where Jax was planning on taking me, and I couldn't decide if I was excited or nervous about it.

  Jax wasn't into stereotypical dates; I knew that much about him. He could tolerate dinner and a movie, and had...but I could tell there was something more about him, something deeper. He'd been testing me the last few days, hinting towards something, asking what kind of things I liked to do. Was hiking on the list? Camping? Was I outdoorsy at all?

  I didn't know how to gut a fish or shoot a deer, but I enjoyed being outside. I loved walking, so I figured I would love hiking just as much. Unfortunately, my experience in all outdoorsy departments was next to null. Iain had taken me to a cabin once and aside from a few skiing attempts, we mostly remained inside, hiding from the cold.

  Aside from that, I'd never been camping. Or fishing. I didn't have a father figure growing up, and the farthest thing from my mother's mind was a Sunday morning on the lake.

  I followed Jax’s advice, dressing in a pair of my well-loved skinny jeans and layering a thick wool gray sweater over my long sleeved shirt. I paired it with a black cowl scarf that Jenna had knitted for me a couple Christmases ago, during her "knitting hobby" stage. My long hair was French braided and resting over my right shoulder. I wore my warm black boots, not knowing what was on the agenda.

  I paused by my doorway, hesitating for a moment as I gently touched the necklace that rested against my collarbone. I heaved a heavy sigh, unclasping it and laying it gently against the surface of my dresser. I couldn't keep carrying Iain around with me—mentally or symbolically. I touched it once more, my fingers brushing against the silver, still warm from my flesh.

  When I came out to meet him, Jax was leaning against the passenger door of his truck, looking delicious in his ensemble of faded blue jeans, a long sleeved thermal black shirt and a thick tan work coat.

  "Good afternoon, beautiful," he said, grinning at me. I couldn't help but smile at the delighted expression on his face as I stepped into his embrace and kissed him gently on the lips.

  Our innocent kiss quickly heated, as it often did. Kissing Jax was never boring. His hand came to rest at the small of my back, pulling me against him, and he kissed me as if he was starving for my touch.

  I knew he probably was. Hell, I knew I was. We had only known each other for a few short weeks, but the chemistry between us burned hot constantly. It was evident in the heat that always pooled in my lower belly at the mere thought of him.

  A part of me was holding back, afraid of what would happen when we finally crossed that threshold. I was scared that there would be absolutely no turning back, that I would be too far gone.

  That was a terrifying thought for me to have, given what had happened the last time I let myself fall.

  Plus, any time prior when things would get heated between us, a well serviced interruption always happened. We hadn't really been able to spend any time alone together between our school and work schedules anyway. All that was about to change; our date today would undoubtedly lead to alone time at some point. My nerves jumped at that thought, torn between excitement and nervousness. I couldn't decide what I wanted: to dive in, experience Jax in all the ways I hungered for or bow quietly away before I could get hurt.

  He broke the kiss first, but not before I felt the evidence of his desire through both our jeans. I bit my lip, crawling into the cab of his truck.

  Jax climbed in a second later, after trying to discreetly adjust his pants. He closed the door while keeping his eyes on me, drinking me in.

  "You are gorgeous," he said lowly, his voice almost dazed. He leaned forward to kiss me again. I was already a mess from that first kiss, my heart pounding frantically in my chest and a sweet ache between my thighs.

  He pulled away before things could get even more out of hand, before I could completely forget all of my reservations as to why a part of me wanted to hold back in the first place. He shook his head as if he needed to clear his mind before he could focus on driving.

  I took advantage of that moment to hungrily assess Jax again. His forearm muscles strained ever so slightly as he shrugged out of his jacket, casting it aside before he merged onto the road.

  "So, what's the plan?" I inquired, getting comfortable. "Where are we going? What are we doing?"

  "We're going for a hike,"" Jax answered, tearing his gaze off the road momentarily to meet mine. I almost melted at the look in those warm brown eyes.

  "Where?" I asked, my interest piquing. I was glad he wasn't taking me hunting or fishing. I wasn't ready for either of those activities.

  "To a little spot I know," Jax said mysteriously, not quite answering my question.

  "Jax." I took a deep breath, trying to calm the anxiety that swept over me at his rebuff. I knew he was just trying to be romantic. It wasn't his fault that my past reared its ugly head, making me paranoid and on edge.

  "It's called the Pinhey Forest," Jax explained, hearing the alarm in my voice. He reached over, gently squeezing my hand in quiet reassurance. He understood without me having to explain myself. I relaxed against the seat, the feel of his warm, large hand over mine.

  I tried to pay attention to where we were headed, but with so many turns, I lost track. Still, I felt safe despite my earlier panic over him not answering my question.

  We pulled into a parking lot and found parking. The lot was mostly empty, with a few vehicles randomly throughout. I put my cowl scarf back on and jumped down from the cab. I joined Jax as he was pulling a bag from the back seat.

  "Are you ready?" Jax asked, grinning at me as he swung the straps over his shoulders.

  "Yup. Did you need me to carry anything?" I offered, eyeing the bag skeptically.

  "Nope, got everything here," Jax answered, gesturing to the North Face hiking bag.

  He nodded to a trail to the right of the parking lot, and I followed him a
s we started our hike. It was a beautiful, sunny September day with just a little chill on the breeze. The forest around us was breathtakingly beautiful, with all the fall colours and the sound of birds.

  "I can't believe you’ve never been camping before," Jax said, ruefully shaking his head over my earlier confession.

  "Wait, are we camping tonight?" I paused, my hand on a branch to keep it from slapping me in the face as I walked by. I wasn't prepared for camping. Jax was carrying gear though, and he could have a tent somewhere in that massive bag of his.

  "No." Jax laughed, looking back at me. "I figured we would start off slow. Besides, it gets really cold at night. You probably want your first camping experience to be in the summer."

  "True..." I continued following him over the uneven pathway. Out of all the footwear I owned, the boots I had chosen were the best suited for this hike, and even they sucked. Twenty-minutes in, my feet were aching. I could feel every pebble and stone against my heels. If hiking was going to be a regular thing, I would have to invest in better footwear. I inwardly cringed as I stepped in a mud puddle, soaking my boats in gunk. Despite their shiny appearance, they were not very water resistant. "I do want to camp, though. I think it'd be fun."

  "It is fun." Jax nodded, smiling as he took my hand to aid me up a steep hill. "How do you like hiking so far?" he asked, glancing down at my feet as if he knew how horrible the boots I wore were to walk in.

  "I like it," I answered, carefully hopping over a puddle. "Next time, I think I'll get some hiking boots though. These ones kind of suck."

  "Yeah, I should have thought of that." Jax frowned apologetically.

  Thirty minutes later, I was almost sweating and my stomach was rumbling. I was distracted, thinking about how hungry I was and how tired my feet were. We finally came to a stop. Or rather, Jax did. I walked into his back.

  "Ummpf," I muttered, catching myself before I could fall on my ass. I glared at his back, irritated by the lack of communication. Of course I wouldn't say anything; I knew it was my fault for not paying attention.

  Jax grinned at me, swinging the bag off of his shoulders and setting it down in front of his feet. He fished out a large blanket and spread it out on the hard ground while I took a look around.

  He had chosen a scenic spot by the pond. The red, yellow, orange and brown hues of fall reflected against the water like a mirror, a scene that could inspire a painting. The water was peaceful and undisturbed. I took a deep breath, welcoming the cool air to my lungs as I drew it in.

  Jax watched me, a smile on his face.

  "Is this an okay spot?" he asked, pulling out a cooler. I didn't answer at first, too busy taking in my surroundings.

  It was the perfect escape.

  "Yes," I said, my eyes flickering back to his face. He was grinning at me, sitting down on the blanket with the cooler opened. I dropped down beside him, accepting the wrapped sandwich he offered. "Hey...did you con Mark into making us lunch?"

  "I sure did," Jax confessed, winking. "I'll be honest...I'm not much of a cook and I didn't want you to end up puking in the bushes or something." He pulled out a thermos, offering it to me. I opened the lid, pausing as the fragrance of hot cocoa assaulted my senses.

  I hadn't drunk hot chocolate since Iain. The realization sunk in as my memories brought me back to his kitchen table, watching as he stirred a pot on the stove. I shook my head, forcing myself into the present.

  "I didn't make that either, if you're hesitant. I cheated and bought it from The Bean," Jax confessed, bemused.

  I smiled, taking a tentative sip. It wasn't as good as Iain's homemade hot chocolate, but then and again...nothing could beat that.

  "It's good," I murmured, handing back the thermos. "I'm not really a fan of hot chocolate though..." I said, half lying. I wasn't a fan of hot chocolate except for Iain's. My heart thudded painfully in my chest, the memories making it ache with longing and sadness. I went to reach for the necklace, remembering that I left it on top of my dresser. For a moment, a strange, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach washed over me.

  You wanted this, I reminded myself, looking at Jax. The ache in my chest eased as I took in his warm brown eyes. And I did want this; I did want him.

  "Who took you camping?" I asked, lying back on the blanket.

  "My grandpa," Jax replied fondly, crumpling up his empty sandwich wrapper and shoving it into the soft cooler it had come from. He took my garbage as well, shoving everything back into the bag. Then he stretched out beside me on the blanket, gesturing for me to come closer.

  "Really?" I asked, not at all surprised. Jax moved about the wilderness as if he was born there. It was clear that he knew nature.

  "Yup," Jax added, a look of remembrance crossing his features. "My grandpa did all kinds of fun stuff with me. He taught me how to fish, how to survive in a forest, and how to hunt."

  From the little bit Jax shared about his family, I ached to learn more. My dire mood slipped away and was replaced with curiosity about the man who lay beside me.

  "Tell me more about your Grandpa?" I suggested, nestling closer to him. Our bodies were turned towards each other slightly. Jax's eyes roamed my face, as if he was internally deciding whether or not he should reveal his past to me. Were we on that level yet? I drew in my lip, biting down in apprehension as the minutes ticked by without Jax making any move. His raised his hand, allowing his fingers to brush my cheekbone. My breath hitched, and my eye lids fluttered despite my attempts at controlling myself.

  "He was silent. He wasn't overly affectionate but he wasn't...like my dad," Jax finally said. I frowned, catching more meaning behind his vague words than he had intended. "He would take me camping in the summer, hunting in the fall, and every Sunday in the spring he would take me fishing. The only conversation he made was to teach me. Those were the best days of my childhood."

  "He sounds like a great man," I remarked, gently playing with the zipper of Jax's coat.

  "He was," Jax said, smiling. "He died when I was twelve—of a heart attack." Jax shifted, as if uncomfortable with the topic. I edged closer, resting my head on top of his outstretched arm and snuggling up to his side.

  "I'm sorry to hear that," I murmured, sad for him. I lost my dad at a young age, but I hadn't really known him. I didn't have beautiful, painful memories to contend with, only a void. "Jax..."

  "Yeah?"

  "Why don't you see your family often?" I asked, knowing my question was bold. I felt bad for asking, but I also felt as if we were both stuck in an odd limbo. Neither of us would make the move to question the other about our individual pasts, and I knew that I couldn't move forward with Jax until I knew him a little more. I had my assumptions about his childhood, but I needed to hear his story from him.

  "My father was an abusive piece of shit," Jax said, his voice hard. "My mother was weak, and didn't stop it. When my Grandpa died, I lost the only protection I inadvertently had from my father."

  I shot up, quickly twisting my body so I was sitting with my legs crossed and looking at him. Jax's answer both surprised and disgusted me. "Jax, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

  "It's alright." Jax's eyes softened and he leaned up on his elbows to look at me.

  "Is that why you want to open the gym?" I asked gently, praying that my questions weren't harming him. He seemed okay, though. His features softened considerably and he was even smiling at me a little.

  "Yeah, I guess you could say I was the 'troubled youth' not that long ago," he answered. "What about you?"

  "What do you mean?" I tried to dodge his questions, knowing that it wasn't fair. I looked out towards the lake, nervously playing with my long braid.

  "I'm not stupid,” he said. “I know you were thinking about something that made you sad. What was it?"

  I hesitated, wondering how much, if anything, I should tell Jax. "Back home," I answered, straying from the truth a little bit. I was thinking of Iain and my past with him...but all that was in North Bay.

&nb
sp; "Have you been home since you graduated high school?" Jax asked, still propped up on his elbows.

  "Once."

  "Interesting." Jax grinned thoughtfully, his eyes fixed on mine. I felt as if he was reading into my soul. It was a vulnerable, tantalizing experience. "Let me guess...a high school relationship that turned sour? You're escaping it and don't want to return?"

  It unnerved me just how close Jax was to the truth. I shrugged, trying to remain calm as I met his playful gaze with a steady one of my own. "Something like that. Plus, I don't really like my step-father, and my mother and I annoy each other at the best of times."

  Jax nodded, accepting my answer and pushing himself up so he was in a sitting position, his legs outstretched beside me. His face was close to mine and the wind was making strands of his long hair dance across both of our faces. The playfulness melted away from his warm brown eyes, the heat of desire absorbing it. His hand enclosed on the nape of my neck, pulling me gently towards him. I rested my hand against his chest, sighing before his lips touched mine.

  Fire ignited within me. I moaned when he playfully tugged on my lower lip. He pulled me down on top of him, his hands running up the length of my back as he deepened the kiss. I moved against him in response, unable to stop my reaction to him. His body was both familiar and unfamiliar—a new territory that I hadn't yet explored yet somehow...just knew. It was as natural as breathing.

  Jax's desire was evident against my pelvis, awaking me from the spell his touch and kiss had put me under. I pulled away, resting my head against his shoulder. I knew that I wouldn't be able to reign in my hormones if he continued to kiss me. My better judgment was already long gone, and finally unwrapping all that was Jax was at the front of my mind. It sounded like an amazing idea to me, but we were in the middle of a forest and the temperature was beginning to drop.

  The picnic had taken up a good half hour or so, then our conversation had eaten up another hour. The sun was sitting very low over the tree-line. I studied the horizon, taking deep breaths to try and steady the torrent of desire and attraction that had overcome me.