When Two Becomes One

by E. L. Todd

“I thought you were trying to kill time?” Ryan questioned.

  Why did this guy have to be a detective? “Yeah, but I realized there’s something we need to do. Let’s go, Arsen.”

  Arsen turned my way.

  “Guys.” Ryan’s voice stopped us in our tracks. “Everything alright? You’re both acting odd.”

  Did he know? “We’re just…”

  “Did Slade leave?” He threw his newspaper down like he was about to destroy something—or someone.

  “No,” I blurted. “We just can’t find…”

  “Trinity’s ring,” Arsen said. “You haven’t seen it, right?”

  Thank god Arsen saved the day.

  Ryan immediately relaxed. “No, I haven’t. I’ll keep an eye out for it. But I don’t see how it could have wound up here.”

  “True,” I said enthusiastically. “See you at the wedding.” I headed toward the door before he could interrupt us again.

  “Bye,” Arsen said.

  We made it out of the apartment and down the hallway.

  “Shit, where is he?” I clutched my skull. “He’s my best friend. I should be able to figure this out.”

  Arsen crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Where the fuck would he go?” I mumbled.

  “I’m sure he wants to be alone—wherever he went.”

  “Is that supposed to help?” I snapped.

  “I’m just saying. We should stop looking for him at people’s apartments.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right,” I admitted. I paced the hallway while I tried to figure it out.

  “He’d go somewhere where no one would find him.”

  “But he doesn’t have much money,” I said. “He can’t just buy a plane ticket to London and never look back. Besides, he can’t go to Trinity’s and grab his stuff. He must be somewhere local.”

  “Maybe he drove somewhere.”

  “No,” I said. “Conrad has the truck. He’s putting cans on it, remember?”

  Arsen rubbed his chin.

  “Think, Cayson,” I said to myself. “Come on…”

  Arsen remained silent.

  Where would Slade go where he could be alone? Where would he go where no one would find him? A bar? Laser tag? Where?

  Arsen sighed, indicating he didn’t have any guesses.

  Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning, striking the earth and shattering everything in its path. “The shop!”

  Arsen’s eyes flashed as he looked at me.

  “The little apartment over the shop,” I said as I smacked myself in the forehead. “That’s where he is.”

  “It’s a good place to look.”

  “Let’s hightail it over there before he disappears again.”

  ***

  The shop was closed on weekends so I wasn’t sure how we would get inside. When I walked up to the door and turned the handle, it remained still. It was locked and I didn’t have a key. The only person who did was Ryan and I couldn’t ask him for it. “Damn.” I tried kicking it but it didn’t do much.

  Arsen stared up at the second story then examined the windows.

  “Can’t you pick this or something?” I asked, pushing against the door to break it down.

  He turned to me, an offended look in his eyes. “Because I’m an ex-con I must know how to break into stores?”

  “Frankly, yes,” I said as I heaved. “I don’t have time to be polite right now.”

  “Well, luckily I do know how to pick a lock—and without a lighter.” He picked up a piece of metal from the ground then used his phone to jimmy the lock. After a few tries, he managed to get it loose and the door swung inwards.

  “I’m so glad you went to prison,” I blurted as I walked inside. The lights were off and only the sun illuminated the different stations and equipment. There didn’t seem to be any sign of life.

  I turned to the stairs then took them two at a time, Arsen behind me.

  We reached the top of the stairs and looked at the small apartment. It had a stove and microwave with a kitchen island, one couch, and in the corner was a small bed. Slade was lying in it, staring at the ceiling.

  “Dude.” I stormed over there, my hands balling into fists. “What the hell are you doing?”

  He didn’t react. In fact, it didn’t seem like he understood Arsen and I were really there. After a few seconds of nothing, he slowly sat up and gave me his attention. “How did you find me?”

  “Lucky guess.”

  He looked out the window with a somber expression on his face. There was no life in his eyes. He looked hollow and empty. “She hates me, doesn’t she?” He swallowed the lump in his throat like he was afraid of my answer.

  “She doesn’t know,” I said quietly. “And she doesn’t have to know. This can stay between the three of us.”

  “We’ll keep your secret,” Arsen said, standing with his hands in his pockets.

  “Why haven’t you told her?” Slade sounded broken.

  “Because I know this isn’t what you want, Slade.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. “You’re just scared, and that’s normal. We all get scared sometimes. But the bottom line is you love Trinity. You want her for the rest of your life.”

  He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “Loving her and wanting her isn’t the problem.”

  “Then what is?” Slade had always been complicated but I suspected this explanation to be even more difficult to follow.

  Arsen stepped back. “I’ll let you guys talk…”

  Slade didn’t look at him or acknowledge him.

  I didn’t tell Arsen otherwise. He wasn’t a priority right now.

  Slade rubbed his hands together and didn’t say anything.

  “Talk to me,” I pressed.

  He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Trinity and I…were just playing house. What we have is a joke. There’s no happily ever after for us. We had our run and our fun but now it’s over.”

  “What the hell are you saying? Why are you guys a joke?”

  “Look at me.” He pointed to himself. “I’m an asshole covered in sleeves and I don’t give a damn about anyone but myself. I skated by through college on my parents’ dime and I never took it seriously. Now I ink for a living. Come on, Cayson. We both know I’m a loser.”

  “You aren’t a loser,” I said firmly. “Where is this coming from?”

  “What do you mean?” he asked. “This has always been a problem. Everyone knows she’s way too good for me.”

  “Well, I don’t know that.” I moved to the seat beside him. “I think you’re the greatest guy I’ve ever known.”

  “I shit in a car at my fiancé’s bachelorette party.”

  “And it was hilarious. No harm was done.”

  He shook his head and looked away. “Look at my arms. I got so many tattoos you can barely see any real skin.”

  I grabbed his shirt and pulled it up until the skin over his ribs was revealed. “And you got one that really matters.” I looked at the tattoo of Trinity along his side. “This is why you’re good enough for her—because you love her.”

  He pulled his shirt down. “That means nothing.”

  “Trinity is the only girl you’ve ever gotten ink for. I think that means something.”

  Slade looked away.

  “You’re overthinking it.”

  “No, I’m not. Mike never wanted me to be with his daughter. And I completely understand why.”

  “Mike is a psychopath,” I said quickly. “And he loves you now.”

  “Only because I refused to give up.”

  “Another reason why you deserve her,” I said as I gripped his shoulder. “Nothing, not even a territorial bear, could keep you away.”

  “The only reason why we’re together is because we screwed when we were drunk. She was nothing special. I crossed a line with her and fucked her without thinking twice about it. I’m a jackass, Cayson.”

  “You were a jackass. You aren’t anymore. Forget the past and
focus on reality. You love her and you would do anything for her.”

  Slade spoke like he didn’t hear a word I said. “She’s opened her own business by herself. Within a year, it took off and now she’s so successful. Not a single person helped her. She did that alone.”

  “And you running a business is easy?” I asked.

  “No, but my dad helped me. He paid for everything.”

  “And you’re paying him back.”

  “But Mike never gave her the money,” he argued. “She took out a loan.”

  “Does it really matter how the businesses started?” I asked. “All that really matters is the fact you’re running them. You’re a power couple. Your occupations are very different but you still do what you love.”

  Slade stared at his hands. “I’ll never be good enough for her. One morning she’ll wake up and realized this was all a mistake. She’ll wish she’d gotten out sooner. She’ll wish she had ended up with someone else besides me.”

  He was talking nonsense. “You said she was your soul mate.”

  He continued to avoid my gaze.

  “Why did you say that?”

  He rubbed his chin while he stared at the floor. “Because I was talking out of my ass…”

  “No you weren’t. Why did you say it?”

  He released a loud sigh. “We just click…”

  “How?”

  “She understands me and accepts me. I do the same for her.”

  “Key words,” I said. “Understand and accept. She loves you for who you are, not what you do for a living or the ink on your skin.”

  “And the man underneath all of that is worthless.” There was venom in his voice. “I’ve fucked more girls than I can count and I’ve never cared about their feelings. I was a terrible person. So, why do I deserve her? Why do I get the amazing girl?”

  “Because you aren’t like that anymore.” I tried to keep my voice gentle so I wouldn’t push him too far.

  “But I was like that with Trinity. And how can I ever forgive myself for that? She blatantly told me she was looking for Mr. Right, and I continued to use her without caring at all.”

  “You’re forgetting the other two years of your relationship. You’re loving, supportive, and you live your entire life for her. You’re a boyfriend that most girls dream of. Maybe you didn’t start off right but you ended right. That’s all that matters.”

  “You don’t understand.” He shook his head slightly.

  “Actually, I do understand. You’re making a huge mistake.”

  “She deserves someone better than me,” he said quietly. “I’m doing the right thing. I’ll go down as a mistake.”

  “If you leave, yes you will. But if you stay, that would never happen.”

  Judging the way he looked out the window, the conversation was over.

  How did I fix this? How did I make this better? “If you do this, she’s going to end up with someone else. Can you really stand by and watch that happen? Can you really watch her marry some other guy?”

  “I won’t be a part of her life anymore,” he said. “I’ll bow out of the group. I’ll see you guys once in a while, like at Christmas or something.”

  “That’s not an option, Slade. We would never let that happen.”

  “When everyone knows what I’ve done, they won’t want to be around me anymore.” He spoke like he already had his mind made up.

  “You’re still going to see her. And the guy will be with her.”

  “And I know she’ll be happy.”

  He was driving me crazy. “Dude, you’re being an idiot right now. All these emotions are fucking with your head. I know you want to marry Trinity. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. And I know she wants to marry you. You’re the one who’s pulling this shit from nowhere.”

  “I’m not pulling it from nowhere. I knew you wouldn’t understand.” He left the bed and stood at the window. He crossed his arms over his chest, closing off from me. “Just go. Tell Trinity I’m sorry.”

  “Why don’t you tell her yourself instead of being a coward?” The words left my lips quicker than I could stop them.

  Slade flinched slightly, his shoulders tensing. But he didn’t turn around.

  “You can tell her yourself. I’m not doing it.” I headed to the door without looking back. “Or she can show up in her dress with her hair and make up done and wonder where you are. Everyone she knows will look at her with pity. You’ll make the happiest day of her life the worst.” I walked out and slammed the door before I headed down the stairs and reached the lobby.

  Arsen stood there, and judging the look on his face he heard everything.

  I clenched my fists by my sides. “I’ve never been so pissed off at him.”

  “I understand his feelings.”

  I turned my fury on him. “There are a lot of needles in this store. You want one in your eye?”

  “I didn’t say I agree with it. I just said I understood it. I had a lot of insecurities when I used to be with Silke. She made it obvious she loved me but I never believed her.”

  “And what changed?”

  “Losing her.”

  “You think losing Trinity will fix this?”

  He shrugged.

  “Well, that isn’t an option.”

  “I realize that.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck in frustration. “Maybe you can talk to him.” It would irritate me if Arsen could talk some sense into him and I couldn’t but my feelings were irrelevant today.

  “That wouldn’t accomplish anything.”

  “So, we just give up?”

  “No. There’s only one person who can talk to him.”

  “Who?” I assumed that person was me.

  “Ryan.”

  ***

  Skye called me when we reached Ryan’s apartment.

  “I got to take this,” I said to Arsen. “Hold on.”

  “Make it quick.”

  I walked down the hallway and took the call. “Everything okay?”

  “It’s chaos over here. How’s everything going over there?”

  “I got a situation on my hands.” I didn’t want to make Skye panic but I needed to talk to her about this.

  “What is it? You lost Slade’s socks?”

  I wish that were the only problem. “It’s worse.”

  “Don’t dangle me. What is it?”

  I didn’t want to say this out loud but I had to. “Slade wants to back out of the wedding. I’ve been trying to get him to change his mind but nothing I’ve said has made any effect.”

  There was a long pause. Then her voice came out as a loud boom. “WHAT?”

  I pulled the phone away from my ear and cringed.

  “I will kick his ass so damn hard he won’t be able to sit ever again.” Her voice was louder than I’d ever heard it. “I will kill him. I’m not kidding, Cayson. I will stop his heart.”

  I believed her. “I’ll get him to come around.”

  “If he does this to my best friend I will never forgive him. I mean it.”

  “I won’t either.”

  “What the hell is his problem?”

  “He thinks he isn’t good enough for her.”

  “Well, point proven,” she hissed.

  I didn’t defend Slade because he didn’t deserve it. “Act like everything is normal until I get this situation under control.”

  “She’s already getting ready. You only have a few hours, at most.”

  “I know. I’ll make it work.”

  “I’m not letting Trinity leave this house to be embarrassed,” she said in her determined office voice. “If you don’t get this figured out I’m telling her. I will not let her walk into a hornet’s nest.”

  “I understand. But we aren’t there yet so just hold on.”

  “You better fix this, Cayson,” she snapped. “Otherwise I will rip his balls out of his body and shove them up his ass.” She hung up without saying goodbye.

  I sighed then put the phone back in
my pocket.

  Judging the way Arsen looked at me, he heard everything Skye said.

  “Ryan better talk some sense into him.”

  Arsen nodded. “I hope so for Slade’s sake—and his balls.”

  “My lady is feisty.”

  “I thought Silke was…”

  We knocked on the door then stepped inside.

  Ryan was sitting on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. “Here to kill more time?”

  “Kind of,” I lied.

  “Do you need something?” he asked, sounding bored.

  “Is Janice here?” Arsen asked.

  “She’s getting her hair done,” Ryan answered.

  Good. Janice would slap the shit out of Slade. “We need your help.”

  Ryan turned off the TV and stood up. “Anything.”

  “We need you to talk to Slade,” I said.

  “About?” Ryan asked.

  Arsen and I shared a look before we turned back to Ryan. “Stopping him from leaving Trinity.”

  Ryan put his hands on his hips and sighed. “You’ve got to be kidding me…”

  “No,” I said with a sigh. “He’s at the apartment over the shop.”

  Ryan grabbed his wallet and keys. “I’ll knock some sense into him—literally.”

  “Do whatever you have to do,” I said. “He’s making a mistake. I can’t let my best friend ruin his life.”

  He walked out. “And I can’t let my son ruin his.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Slade

  I rested my head against the cool glass of the window. It felt good against my scorching skin. Pain radiated everywhere. The idea of Trinity getting ready for a wedding that would never take place broke my heart. And what made it worse was knowing I was responsible for it.

  But how could I go through it?

  Trinity deserved someone so much better than me. She deserved love at first sight. She would walk into a coffee shop and he would spot her from his seat at a booth. He would recognize her beauty, noting her blue eyes and slender curves. Nerves would take him as he wondered how he would talk to her. The anxiety pooled in his stomach. And when he finally found the courage to talk to her, he would realize she was even better underneath her gorgeous layers. Then the rest would be history.

  With me, she would remember our first night together as a drunken fuck in the snow. Then she would remember the year that followed, of me not knowing what I wanted until some other guy expressed his interest. She would remember that I only wanted a relationship when she threatened to leave me. She would remember all the times I fucked up.