Only Emma

by Rc Bonitz

  Emma hung her head. "Give me a time out?"

  "I don't think so, not this time. A week without tarts will do it. Without sweets at all as a matter of fact."

  Eyes as sad as a puppy dog's, Emma gave him a pleading look.

  Lissey held her breath. If Jake could resist that look there was hope for him yet.

  "Don't stare at me like that," he said to Emma. "A week, starting today."

  They both stood there, Emma in her bathing suit, covered in flour, Jake in his cargo pants, looking quite unhappy. Lissey glanced at the clock above the sink, then at the mixing bowl with its ingredients by now thoroughly kneaded into a useless blob. She and Emma would have to try their tart making another morning. It was almost time to open for the day. She still had baking to do, but…

  "Are you having breakfast here?" she asked.

  Jake cocked his head and grinned. "Can we get eggs this morning? Sunny side up. And plain toast, no sweet cakes today?"

  "Coming right up. Take a seat," Lissey said, a sudden lightness flooding her heart. "Do you want coffee?"

  He nodded. "Shall I pour it? I noticed you let some folks do their own."

  She laughed softly. "Only my friends are allowed."

  "Do I qualify?" He grinned.

  A tear or two threatened but she blinked them away. Good grief, what was happening to her? Just because he wanted to be friends? "Help yourself."

  He poured himself a coffee and stood beside the kitchen door, watching as she broke three eggs on the griddle. "You run a nice place here. Cozy and good cooking. Both."

  "Thank you. Oh my gosh, I forgot."

  "What?"

  "Those yachting people, the McNulty's. They wanted breakfast delivered to their boat."

  "So?"

  "Louis is late this morning. My mother is too."

  Jake raised an eyebrow. "I can handle the shop for a few minutes. Or make the delivery for you."

  Lissey checked the clock again. 7:18. She really shouldn't trust him with Louis's boat. Not that he couldn't handle it but it wasn't hers to give out. There was a little bit of money in the cash register but that was hers to risk. Besides, where could he go if he took it? "Thank you, I'll take you up on that. You and Emma can mind the shop while I drop off their breakfast."

  He nodded. "Need help getting ready?"

  "It'll just take a minute."

  She dashed about, pouring coffee into an old thermos she kept in the pantry, shoving wrapped rotis and muffins into a plastic bag while he watched her. "I don't usually deliver. They get what they get." She added creamers, cups, and sugar packets to the bag.

  "You want the Ritz, you go elsewhere I suppose."

  She smiled. "Do you know how to work the cash register?"

  He shrugged. "No. Anybody comes in, they can wait for you to come back before they pay. You won't be long."

  Throwing a “thank you” over her shoulder, she grabbed the thermos and bag and dashed for the door. "If you do get any customers tell them I'll be right back."

  "I can serve coffee and a tart or two."

  Lissey laughed and sent Emma a smile. "We didn't finish our tarts this morning. You'll have to come back tomorrow, right Emma?"

  "We can finish when you come back," Emma said.

  Lissey nodded and dashed out the door. She slowed her stride as she neared the dock. What was she rushing for; she didn't even want to serve the McNultys on their boat. She smiled. This breakfast was going to cost them. How much should she charge? A thermos of coffee and three pastries—ten dollars? Fifteen? Twenty? That was a nice round number. She doubted they would even care. Heck, if they said anything, she'd tell them she had to hire Jake by the hour while she made the delivery.

  That was so nice of him, offering to help. He wasn't such a bad guy. She shouldn't make snap judgments about people like that. Probably shouldn't revise her first impressions too quickly either. She'd only known him what, two days, and she'd left him in charge of her business. What was she thinking? A sigh escaped her heart. He was nobody she should trust, but she was going right along with him on everything he proposed.

  She slowed Louis's boat as she neared the McNulty's boat. Francine stood in the cockpit, looking quite peeved. Talk about first impressions and snap judgments. What was she, five minutes late?

  She delivered her goodies, collected a twenty-dollar bill without a word of protest from Francine, and turned the boat back to the dock. Should have charged them more. Oh right, just because she was worried about leaving a stranger to care for her shop. Jake could be raiding the cash register and what could she do about it? Or stealing canned goods and beer.

  She shook her head. That was the kind of thinking that kept her awake at night, worrying about all the things that could go wrong with the business. Still, she really didn't know word one about Jake alias Bruce alias Wainright. Except that he had things to hide. And she'd spent a heavenly evening in his arms on the dance floor last night.

  She secured Louis's boat and hurried up the path to the store. Jake's voice reached her as she approached the door.

  "… couldn't have rescued him if I hadn't been watching when his mast fell down."

  "Yeah sure, a small catamaran is damn near invisible without its mast and sails," Louis replied.

  Lissey stepped through the doorway and stopped. The two men occupied a table near the door, Louis with his back to her, Jake facing him, mugs of coffee in front of them, sprawled in their seats like a couple of old drinking buddies. They'd obviously been regaling each other with sailing stories.

  Jake waved his mug at her and smiled. "Delivery made okay?"

  She nodded. "Yes. What—"

  "Louis is the only customer so far, and I bought his coffee. Everything's under control."

  He seemed quite proud of himself; she had to suppress a grin. He looked as relaxed and happy as a little boy. Surprise, the thought warmed her heart. A pleasant scene, but she had to disturb their little party. She needed supplies.

  "Can we make a run to Kikitap this morning, Louis?"

  "Certainment, whenever you're ready."

  "That's on the big island?" Jake said.

  "Great Casque, that's right," Lissey said.

  "Got room for a couple of paying passengers?"

  Louis nodded. "You just want to go for a ride?"

  "Just want to see the big island."

  Lissey frowned. "We won't be there that long. We're just going to pick up supplies."

  Jake shrugged and grinned. "No bar hopping or picnicking?"

  "I'm afraid not."

  He chuckled. "We'll go anyway. David will enjoy a ride on a speedboat. He gets bored with sailing sometimes."

  Speedboat? Louis's twenty-two footer moved along, but it was no speedboat. Though of course, it was lots faster than a sailboat. Except they'd be heavy in the water coming back. How much did she have to pick up at the warehouse? Would there be room for two more people on the boat? She rubbed her eyes. Not her worry, Louis was relaxed, he'd find a way to pack the boat so they'd all fit.

  The tension in her neck seemed to disappear. It might be fun to take Jake and Emma along today. Emma especially, she was a charmer. Even if she pretended to be a boy. The child did a marvelous job of playacting. Lissey smiled to herself. Caroline could have done that too. What boy's name would she have given her? Bryan, that would be it, or Curt? No, Bryan. What kind of a life would they have lived, she and Bryan? Remembering to treat her as boy all the time could not be easy. And if she had to invent a name for herself? A sob caught in her throat. What she would give to have even that sort of life with her daughter. Jake and Emma were so lucky, they had no idea.

  Louis was talking, pay attention. "When do you want to leave?"

  "Are we going to make the tarts?" Emma asked, a frown on her face as if she knew what the answer would be.

  "We'll make them and then we'll go out in the speedboat," Lissey said and gave her a hug.

  An hour later, with the shop in the care of her mother, gro
cery list in hand, Lissey joined them for the ride to Kikitap. Once out of the harbor, Louis gunned the boat up to top speed, and they were soon tearing through the water with Emma squealing in delight.

  Lissey glanced at Jake. He was talking to Louis, shouting to be heard over the roar of the motor. She'd always made the trip with Louis, no one else, just the two of them. This day felt different. Louis wasn't a friend or close associate today; he was the driver of the boat, an employee. And Jake didn't feel like a customer; she wasn't the harbormaster or the shop owner, not while in this situation. Watching Emma, and Jake's easy chatter with Louis, the scene seemed like they were some sort of family, something more than strangers in a boat. They were the family she could have had if Ramon hadn't disappeared and Caroline had lived. Somehow those two events were connected in her mind, and the realization struck her then. It was his fault Caroline had died. Ramon's fault, all his fault.

  A tear started then and she turned to face the back of the boat so no one would see it. Had she been living with that idea for the last five years? Someone once said hate destroyed the hater. Had she been eating at herself all this time? Ramon was long gone. She'd thought she'd finished with the hurt and pain he'd caused, but there was still a nugget there, a lump of coal jabbing into her heart. Was it grief or hate or was one part of the other? It didn't matter anymore. He'd be history from now on.

  Her hair blew into her face and she brushed it back, then turned in time to see Emma leave her seat and stumble to her side.

  "This is fun. Can we do it again?" Emma shouted.

  Lissey seized the child and clutched her to her lap. "You're supposed to stay in your seat. And yes we can if your daddy says so."

  "Goody," Emma said and carefully placed a kiss on her cheek.

  Sweet and loving, the kiss could have been offered by Lissey's Caroline if she were alive. Instead of sadness though, joy burst forth in Lissey's breast, the like of which she hadn't felt since her pregnancy after the morning sickness had gone. And before Ramon departed without a word the night she told him he'd soon be a father. Those couple of weeks before he left, full of anticipation and excitement, had been the happiest of her life. And now Emma liked her, maybe even loved her if that were possible. She leaned over and returned the kiss. Eyes sparkling, Emma gave her darling grin.

  Twenty minutes later, as they entered Kikitap harbor, Jake went silent. He studied the shoreline, the buildings, and the streets with great care. His intensity was such that it drew Lissey's attention. What was he looking for?

  They pulled up to Digby's Dock and Marcus Digby, a wizened old man with wild gray hair and a black patch over his left eye came out to take their lines.

  "Hey Lissey, calm sea today?" he said, eyeing Jake the whole time.

  "A quick run, yes," Lissey said. "How are you, Marcus?"

  "The golden years are anything but shiny, that's a fact. I'm okay though." He raised an eyebrow in Jake's direction.

  "Marcus Digby, meet Ja…Bruce Duncan and his son," Lissey said.

  Marcus stuck out his hand.

  "Nice to meet you," Jake said and shook it.

  "Any friend of Lissey's is a friend of mine. Welcome aboard."

  "He's a live-aboard. He's just passing through," Lissey murmured quickly.

  "Well, welcome to Kikitap anyway," Marcus said. "You gonna help with the loading?"

  Jake shook his head. "We came along for some sight- seeing."

  Louis entered the warehouse and Marcus followed. Jake stepped off the boat and helped Emma down to the dock.

  "How much time?" he asked and tugged his hat down tight upon his head.

  "What?" Lissey said.

  "How long will you take to load up?"

  "Oh, half an hour, I guess."

  He nodded, took Emma by the hand, and strode off to the corner of the warehouse, stopped and peered around it as if to study the street. After a few seconds of playing hide and seek, he waved and set off up the street with Emma in tow. Lissey stood by the boat, watching, wondering. What was he doing?

  Fifteen minutes later Jake and Emma returned. Lissey and Louis were still loading tins of goods and bags of coffee and flour. Jake looked dubious.

  "Can this boat carry all of us with all this weight aboard?" he asked.

  "We'll go slow on the way back," Louis said.

  Lissey smiled, not entirely convinced herself as she put the last tin of tea in the stern by the motor.

  Jake followed Marcus into the warehouse and emerged with a carton of goods.

  "You don't have to help," Lissey said.

  He simply grinned and went back for another box, leaving Louis to load the boat as he preferred.

  With Lissey's inventory of goods loaded, they all climbed aboard and Louis pulled away from the dock. The boat responded to the throttle with a sluggish surge forward and seemed to chug along through the water.

  "It be a long trip home," Louis said with a grin.

  "Like a sailboat," Emma said cheerfully.

  Jake wore a nervous frown and kept staring at their wake. "Isn't there a legal limit for this boat? The maximum load it can carry?"

  Louis waved a dismissive hand in the air. "We're okay with that."

  "We do this all the time," Lissey said, as much to reassure herself as him.

  "With extra passengers?" Jake said.

  "No, but sometimes we carry more cargo."

  "How often do you make this trip?"

  "Every week or so," Louis said.

  "Crazy, dangerous. What if a squall comes up?"

  "We're careful with the weather," Lissey said.

  Jake stared at her. "Do that. Be careful."

  His gaze was so intense Lissey felt her cheeks grow warm. He was concerned about her welfare? Seemed so. Butterflies came to fluttering life in her stomach.

  Jake went silent after that, but Lissey caught him staring at her every so often the rest of the way back to Little Casque. He smiled each time she met his eyes. She almost asked what he was staring at, but somehow that seemed unwarranted, a bit aggressive perhaps when the look on his face was more bemused than anything else.

  Safely back on Little Casque an hour later, the boat tied up to the dock, she picked up a box of canned goods from the deck of the boat and started to carry it up to the store. Jake joined her before she'd taken three steps, a heavy sack of coffee beans balanced on his shoulder.

  "You don't have to help. Louis and I will unload the boat," she said.

  "I don't mind. This gives me something to do."

  "Okay, thank you then," she huffed as they started up the path to the store.

  He was silent for a second, then said, "You're not engaged, are you?"

  Lissey chuckled. What business did he have asking that? But, what the heck. "No, I'm not."

  "Got a boyfriend?"

  "Nope."

  "Ah hah."

  She opened the door of the shop. "Ah hah? What does that mean?"

  "Where should I put this coffee?"

  "Next to the stove. Well?"

  Jake set the sack on the floor, then stood up and grinned. "Just curious. I saw that big guy the other day looking like he had ideas."

  "He's a dreamer."

  "You don't trust men."

  Lissey dumped the box of canned goods on the counter. Where did he get that idea? He had it right, but…. "You've got a lot of nerve."

  "I'm right, aren't I?"

  "That's none of your business."

  He followed her out the door, heading back to the dock. "I don't know about that. I might want to make it my business."

  Her heart pounded at his words. She shivered. This was not something she expected, bargained for, even wanted. Or completely understood. Did he think she was a sucker for a good-looking man? They kept walking toward the boat but she would not meet his eye.

  "You're not going to answer my question?" he asked.

  "What question?"

  "You know. Do you trust men? That live-aboard guy played dirty with you
?"

  She laughed at his choice of words. Played dirty? Leaving her pregnant, was that playing dirty? Of course, and she'd held that against every man she'd met since then. Was Peter such a bad guy? Was Jake?

  She stopped on the dock and turned to face him. "Somebody did and I haven't met a man I can trust ever since."

  "The guy hurt you."

  "You might say that. I'm over him now, I don't give a damn anymore."

  Jake shook his head. "What did he do?"

  "You're a nosy so and so, aren't you?'

  "Call me curious. You're not over him if you don't give a damn anymore."

  Lissey blinked in surprise. His words hit home, felt absolutely true and painful. "I don't want to talk about this. Louis and I will unload the boat."

  He raised an eyebrow. "You need to talk about it."

  "I don't need a shrink."

  "Didn't say you do, but talk to me."

  "Why you?"

  He shrugged and smiled. "I don't know. You intrigue me. And I'm a good listener."

  She picked up a tin of tea and smiled. "You think you're hot stuff."

  "What I am is beside the point. Talk to me. What did he do?"

  He wasn't going to give up. What the heck, she could tell him anything she wanted, he was nobody to her. In a week or so he'd up anchor and disappear. "He promised me the moon and stars, then left me with a baby growing in my belly. He just took off and sailed away."

  "That was the child who died?"

  She nodded and a sob caught in her throat. Damn it, how did they get into this? She kept walking with the tea.

  He stayed beside her, his arms loaded with sacks of flour.

  "I'm so sorry. What was her name again?"

  "Caroline." Tears threatened again but she scrunched up her eyes and shut them down. She'd cried enough in front of him.

  He did not reply, just swung open the shop door as they reached it and followed her inside. Lissey headed for the kitchen.

  Her mother stood at the cash register. The smile on her face died away as soon as she caught a glimpse of Lissey's expression. She started to speak but closed her mouth when Lissey shook her head. Instead, she stepped in front of Jake and blocked his path.

  "What did you do?" she hissed.

  "I beg your pardon?"