Sinful

by Joan Johnston

  Eve had taken Sawyer’s hand and the two of them had joined Brooke in Eve’s bedroom, with Connor and Mrs. Stack right behind them. Brooke was sitting cross-legged on the bed, and Eve sat down beside her settling Sawyer in her lap.

  Connor had a sudden image of Eve’s long legs appearing from beneath the covers that morning and his brief glimpse of a pair of pink panties under her T-shirt. Eve’s breasts had looked pert beneath the thin cotton, the nipples erect. At the time, he’d wondered what it would feel like to hold the soft weight of them in his hands, to take one of the nipples in his mouth.

  Connor swore as his body responded to the vivid images in his head. He hid his arousal behind the doorway and willed himself to think of worms and fish guts.

  “I’m sure the children will adjust quickly to their new surroundings,” Eve said as she brushed an errant lock of dark hair off Sawyer’s forehead. She pulled Brooke close for a hug, and his daughter leaned close and laid her cheek against Eve’s arm.

  “I can see the children are comfortable with you,” Mrs. Stack said. She turned to Connor and said briskly, “I want to see their bedrooms, and then I want to speak to the children alone.”

  He ushered the social worker across the hall, showing her the rooms he’d prepared with such love and care for his children, awaiting her judgment. Mrs. Stack was thorough and she took her time. Eve and the children came to join him in the hall. Eventually he picked up Sawyer, who was rolling around on the hallway runner, impatient to be doing more than just standing around.

  “The children’s rooms seem adequate,” Mrs. Stack announced after she’d examined them both. “I’d like to speak to the children now.”

  Connor set Sawyer down as Eve gave both children a nudge and said, “Go with Mrs. Stack.”

  The children disappeared into Brooke’s bedroom with the social worker while Connor paced the hall. He stopped in front of Eve and said, “What do you think she’s asking?”

  “She wants to make sure the children are all right, Connor. And they are. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”

  “Easy for you to say,” he muttered.

  A few minutes later the children reappeared, followed by Mrs. Stack.

  “I see no problems here at the moment,” she announced. “But I will expect to see a better selection of healthy foods in the refrigerator the next time I come.”

  Connor had picked up Sawyer and was congratulating himself on his clever ruse regarding Eve’s presence when Mrs. Stack asked, “By the way, when is the wedding?”

  Connor turned to stare at Eve with his mouth half open.

  “We haven’t set a date,” Eve said, smiling at Mrs. Stack again. She took a step closer to Connor, slid her arm around his waist, and then pressed her body next to his from breast to hip as though she’d been doing it forever. Every part of him lit up as though she’d applied an electric charge. He slid his free arm around her waist and realized for the first time just how small it was. Brooke glued herself to Eve’s side so they presented a united family picture to Mrs. Stack.

  Connor forced a smile onto his face as broad as Eve’s and said, “You’ll be the first to know.”

  Mrs. Stack headed for the front door again, and Connor thought he might be home free, when she suddenly turned back. Fortunately, he hadn’t let go of Eve, and she was still pressed down his very-alive right side.

  “I have one more question,” the social worker said. “What do your families think about this union?”

  “Our families?” Connor repeated to give himself time to think of how to reply. If it happened, his father was going to blow a gasket. His brothers were going to think he was crazy, and he wasn’t so sure they’d be wrong. “The only two people whose opinions matter are Brooke and Sawyer,” he said. “I believe you’ve seen how they adore Eve.”

  “Very good answer, Mr. Flynn,” Mrs. Stack said. “But it avoids the issue I raised, which is whether your families will support you. I suggest you pursue the matter diligently between now and the next time I visit. I wouldn’t want the children to end up in a vise between two powerful men like King Grayhawk and Angus Flynn.”

  “Are you saying their reaction to our wedding could influence whether I retain custody of my children?” Connor asked with alarm.

  “In a word, yes.”

  “That’s not fair!” Eve said. “Connor can’t control his father any more than I can control mine.”

  “Precisely,” Mrs. Stack said. “So I suggest you both do your best to convince your fathers to forgo their animosity toward one another when it comes to your marriage.” Mrs. Stack opened the front door and said, “Till next time.”

  “When will that be?” Connor asked.

  Mrs. Stack smiled. “My visits are unannounced for a reason, Mr. Flynn.”

  It aggravated him to be watched like a hawk when other parents could raise their children without someone looking over their shoulders. But if that was the price he had to pay, he was willing to pay it.

  The instant the door closed behind Mrs. Stack, Eve said to Brooke, “Why don’t you take Sawyer to your room? I remember seeing a brand-new box of Legos in there. I’ll be in soon to see what you’ve made.”

  Brooke took Sawyer’s hand and said, “Come on, Sawyer. Let’s go play.”

  Eve waited until they disappeared into Brooke’s room, then planted her hands on her hips. “Are you out of your mind? Why did you lie to Mrs. Stack? Why would you tell her we’re engaged?”

  “She caught me off guard. It was the first thing that came to mind.”

  Eve stomped across the living room and thumped herself down on the arm of the couch. “How are you going to fix this?”

  “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” He took the few steps necessary to stand in front of her. “How would you like to marry me?”

  Chapter 9

  EVE FELT LIKE she’d been sucker punched. “Never in a million years would I marry you!” She held up a finger for every reason why a marriage between them was impossible. “In the first place, I don’t love you.” Eve barely hesitated over the lie. “In the second place, you don’t love me. In the third place, our fathers hate each other’s guts.” Their siblings weren’t too keen on each other, either. “If that weren’t enough, you were widowed barely a year ago.” She paused and added, “And your wife was my best friend.”

  When she had all five fingers extended she closed her hand into a fist. “Why on earth did you ask?” And in such an unfeeling way?

  Through eyes blurred by tears, she saw that Connor had his hands outstretched in supplication. “Granted that wasn’t the most romantic proposal a woman ever heard.”

  “You think?” she said sarcastically.

  “I wasn’t intending to be romantic.”

  “Now you’re adding insult to injury.”

  “Stop and think for a moment, will you?” he said, his voice suddenly sharp. “This could work out very well for both of us.”

  Eve crossed her arms so he wouldn’t see how her hands were trembling and stuck her chin in the air to make the point that she wouldn’t be bullied. “I’m not going to marry a man I don’t love.” It seemed important to make the point that she didn’t love Connor. She’d been hiding her feelings without a hitch for years. She didn’t want to make a mistake now and accidentally reveal the truth.

  “Fine,” he said. “We’ll keep pretending we’re engaged.”

  “What’s the point in that?”

  “You’re right. That’s not as good a solution as marriage.”

  He tugged her hands free and held them in his. His fingers were warm and strong. She was staring at their joined hands when he said, “Look at me, Eve.”

  She lifted her gaze and realized that he’d let down the stone wall that normally kept her from seeing what he was thinking. His gaze remained locked on hers. “My children need a mother. You and your mustangs need a home. I think we could build a good life together.”

  She’d wanted to hear words like tho
se last few from Connor Flynn for as long as she could remember. But this wasn’t the way she’d ever dreamed of hearing them. She yanked herself free and snapped, “You don’t know the first thing about me.”

  “I know my children love you. I know my wife thought the world of you. I’ve enjoyed your company every time we’ve been in the same room together.”

  “You’ve never seen me mad, which I’m about to get right now if you don’t change the subject.” She slipped past him and crossed into the kitchen to put the width of the breakfast bar between them.

  Eve’s stomach was roiling. The practical marriage Connor had suggested made perfect sense, but it still broke her heart to imagine a marriage based on logic, rather than love. The problem was that in less than a year she was going to be without a home for herself and twenty-two wild horses. Despite having a wealthy father, she wasn’t rich. She’d been able to work as a wildlife photographer because she’d been living at Kingdom Come. Rents were sky-high in Jackson Hole, because it was a place where the wealthy had second homes.

  She had a week to find somewhere temporary to graze her horses, and less than a year to move herself and her mustangs somewhere less costly. Even a small apartment was an expense she couldn’t afford. She could ask her sisters for help, but she didn’t want to do that if she could avoid it. Their lives had also been turned upside down, and they were going to need every spare penny to start over themselves.

  Connor stood patiently waiting for her to work it all out for herself, like a hunter certain his quarry will be forced from its bolt-hole.

  The real problem was that she wanted to be Connor’s wife. She’d wanted it all the years he was married to Molly. But not like this. She didn’t want to become his wife in a cold, calculated business arrangement. Twice she’d said I don’t want to marry a man I don’t love, when what she’d really meant was I don’t want to marry a man who doesn’t love me.

  “Before you reject the idea of marriage entirely, hear me out.”

  “I’ve already rejected it.”

  He cocked his head, stuck his hands on his hips, and waited. And waited.

  “For heaven’s sake! Say what you have to say.”

  “I need a partner, a mother for my children. You need a place to keep your mustangs, and if I’m not mistaken, within the next year, a home. Plain and simple, it’s a marriage of convenience.”

  “It’s a marriage without love.”

  “Romantic love doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage,” Connor said. “My brother Brian was in love when he married and it ended in bitterness and betrayal. I like you and respect you, Eve, and I think you feel the same way about me. Am I wrong?”

  She hesitated, then shook her head. “No, you’re not wrong.”

  “My kids adore you, and I know you love them.”

  The one truly good thing about his suggestion was that she would get to be a mother to Brooke and Sawyer. She already loved them, and she would love to be their mother. Then she thought of what he hadn’t mentioned. How did sex fit into a marriage of convenience? She took a deep breath and asked, “Are you intending this to be a marriage in every way?”

  “Will we have sex? I hope so. When you feel comfortable with that kind of intimacy.”

  He was putting the ball in her court? She wanted desperately to make love with Connor, but she wanted it to be making love. She didn’t want it to be just sex.

  “If we do this,” Connor continued, “I want to try and make it work for the long haul. My kids need stability in their lives. I don’t want them losing another mother.”

  Eve’s brow furrowed. “What you’re suggesting sounds a lot more like the real thing than a ‘make-believe’ marriage.”

  “I guess it is,” Connor conceded.

  “I still don’t see why we have to be married,” she said stubbornly. “What if you fall in love with someone else? What if I do?”

  “I was faithful to Molly, and I’d be faithful to you.”

  She wished he hadn’t mentioned Molly. She wished he hadn’t made fidelity sound like some military duty. It seemed clear that, even though she’d once coveted Molly’s husband, he hadn’t been the least bit interested in her. And apparently still wasn’t.

  “You heard Mrs. Stack,” he continued. “She has reservations about an unmarried woman living with me. If we’re not getting married, I have to find someone more appropriate to help me with my kids.”

  “You’d kick me out?”

  “You’ll always be the children’s godmother. I’d never keep you from spending time with them. But I have to do what’s best for my children.”

  Eve noticed he hadn’t brought up the issue of whether her horses could stay, but the truth was, they were her responsibility. She needed to be wherever they were to take care of them. If she didn’t agree to marry Connor and stay at Safe Haven, she had one week to move them somewhere else.

  Eve was trapped as surely as a treed wildcat. She could snarl and hiss and bare her teeth all she wanted. The baying hounds weren’t going anywhere.

  Which meant she had to consider Connor’s proposal seriously.

  “Even if you get me to agree to this lunatic idea, what about our fathers? They’re going to go after each other with both guns blazing and make our lives unbearable.”

  “We’ll talk them around to the idea.”

  She laughed, but the sound was more hysterical than amused. “You don’t know my father.”

  “We don’t owe anything to our fathers. All that matters is what we want to do.”

  “What about your brothers? And my sisters?”

  A pained expression crossed his face. “This isn’t their decision to make. It’s ours. I need your help, Eve. My children need a mother. Please say yes.”

  She was tempted. The children gave her the perfect excuse to marry Connor, if she needed one. But the real reason the idea appealed to her so strongly was that she’d have a lot better chance of Connor falling in love with her if they lived under the same roof than if they ended up across the country from each other.

  “All right,” she said. “I’ll do it.”

  “I’m glad.”

  Eve felt a qualm when he merely looked relieved, rather than happy. “How are we going to introduce the idea of a marriage between us to our families?”

  “We’ll have to tell them something soon,” he said. “I suspect Mrs. Stack has already spread the word of our notorious engagement.”

  “What’s your father going to think about you getting married barely a year after Molly’s death?” Eve asked.

  “He won’t understand,” Connor said flatly.

  “Why not?”

  “My mother died when Devon was born. I always wished my dad would remarry, so I could have a mom like other kids. When I asked him about it, he said he could never love another woman as much as he loved my mother, so what was the point?”

  Eve felt the blood draining from her face. Was it a case of like father, like son? Was that why Connor was so willing to settle for a marriage of convenience? Had his heart been irreparably broken by Molly’s death? Was he unwilling to fall in love again?

  Eve realized the terrible position she was putting herself in. She already loved the children, and she would only love them more as time passed. What if Connor never fell in love with her? Staying married to him would be agony. Leaving the children would be even worse. She might be making a terrible mistake. But it was a risk she had to take.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, giving Connor one last chance to back out.

  “I think this will work for both of us. I’m game if you are.”

  Eve could hardly believe they were going through with this crazy scheme. I’m going to marry Connor Flynn. She felt giddy. And terrifed. And hopeful. And terrified.

  “What are your plans for today?” she asked.

  “Just moving your mustangs onto the ranch. How do you want to do that?”

  “Let’s drop the kids off with Leah. That way I ca
n help you with the roundup.”

  “What’s Leah going to think about getting stuck babysitting my kids?”

  “Who do you think took care of Brooke and Sawyer when you were overseas and Molly and I went out for the evening?”

  “Leah?” he guessed. “I suppose the kids know her and love her.”

  “Everyone loves Leah.”

  “Not my brother Aiden,” Connor muttered under his breath.

  “What did you say?”

  “Nothing.”

  Connor’s unwitting revelation suggested that it was Aiden, the eldest son, who’d given Leah such a hatred of Flynns. Where had Aiden and Leah crossed paths? When had their romance occurred? And what had she and the other Brats been doing that they’d never noticed Leah’s pain?

  Eve felt discouraged. How could she expect King and Angus to forgive and forget when, now that she knew the pain Connor’s brother had caused Leah, she wanted to hurt him back.

  “Since we’ll be at Kingdom Come to collect my mustangs, I suppose we should stop by the Big House and break the news of our engagement to my family,” she said.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “You said yourself our engagement isn’t likely to be a secret for long.”

  Connor shoved his hands into his pockets, then pulled them out and shoved them through his hair. “When was the last time a Flynn crossed your threshold?”

  “When your aunt Jane left for the last time.”

  “You can see why I might be a little leery of stopping off to say, ‘Oh, by the way, King, I’m going to marry one of your daughters.’ ”

  Eve looked into Connor’s worried blue eyes and shrugged. “What’s the worst he can do?”

  “I shudder to think.”

  “There’s nothing more he can take from me,” Eve said, realizing as she said it that it was true. “My sisters love me. They want me to be happy. They’ll go along with whatever I decide.”

  “And if they don’t? Can you be happy with just me and the kids?”